Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter FiveEvaline

Chapter Five

Evaline

I let out a deep breath as the door to my room shut behind me and squeezed my eyes shut to rid them of the tears that had gathered. I tried to steady my heart, to catch my breath, from the disappointments of the day.

My hand shook where it held the dinner plate I’d filled with food and the clanging of the silver fork on the porcelain pulled me from my thoughts.

Dean and Sage had sat down for dinner, but I didn’t want to stay. It had been hard enough keeping it together on the hike back from James’ house, and I hadn’t even been successful at that. I didn’t want to be around anyone, even them. They’d tried to stop me, tried to come with, but I made them stay and enjoy their warm meals after such a cold walk.

I crossed the room and lowered the plate down on the small table that sat right off the fireplace. My eyes watered as I kept them pinned on the fire that danced within the hearth while I unloaded my weapons one by one and set them out on the table, too. Then, I unbraided my hair and laid the barbed wire out beside my weapons.

My joints ached as I sat down at the table, the cold outside and the exertion of the hike taking their toll. I sighed, picking up the fork and planting my elbow on the tabletop, resting my cheek in my hand as I moved my food around my plate.

The roasted chicken and greens, and small bun with butter, smelled delicious, but my stomach only rolled at the thought of eating as I felt that same claw of grief rise up within me. Felt it reach up for my throat, knew it’d close around it and pull me back down again. Just as it had when I’d gone to Maddox—the Vasi—in Rominia and begged for a sign. When I’d fallen to my knees and cried in front of him.

Back then, the grief had consumed me. It had pulled me down into the bed and kept me there. It kept my stomach empty, took away my appetite. It convinced me that I could just lay there and that even though resting wouldn’t fix anything, it would at least help to numb the pain.

But I gritted my teeth against that feeling now, swept my fork across the porcelain to pick up some greens, and brought it to my mouth. I forced the rest of the dinner down my throat and drank the water in my room. There was too much responsibility on my shoulders—to help Maddox, to stop Vasier—for me to give into my own desires.

I moved to the bed and fell atop it, and stared at the night sky through the window that opened in the ceiling above me. I listened to the fire that crackled in the fireplace, to the wind that gusted outside, and Sage’s and Dean’s separate doors that closed when they came back from dinner. I hadn’t heard Lauden return from the wards yet, so he must’ve still been out working on them.

I must’ve stared up through that window for hours because what had once been a light gray cloud-covered sky, was now dark.

I tried to distract myself with the noises around me, or thinking about absolutely anything besides what James had said, but I couldn’t. Mostly because I couldn’t believe another attempt at freeing Maddox had failed. Every avenue we took to save him had been a dead end. Meeting with the Elders, reading every book on the island, sending him strength through the bond, trying to reach him while he fed from me, and now Charlotte. It was too much, this bitter defeat, and I was growing weak from the fight. From the incessant need to find my will to continue.

But Sage’s words echoed in my mind.

“Impossibilities don’t exist.”

She’d been referring to my mother when she said it, and my thoughts drifted to her now.

How had my mother not known? How had the Kova she talked to in the Night not known that their friend was dead?

But of course, she’d already told me, in a way. My mother had said that it was difficult to search out others in the Night, that you could only do so if you were led to them, or had a close connection. Perhaps since they didn’t know she’d died, they didn’t know to look for her.

I sat up, realizing that I could be asking my mother these questions.

Mother, I prayed. Please, I need you. Please come help me.

I focused and waited for the shadows to move around me. Waited for them to hum just as they did each time I saw her, but the shadows around me only danced in the flickering way that shadows do from the light of a fire.

I ground my teeth and fell back against the bed.

What good was a gift from Mortitheos if I couldn’t use it on purpose?

But that thought sent ice through my veins as I remembered that my gift from the God had two sides. On one hand, I could call to those in the Night to come to me, or at least I could sometimes. Like I had when my mother visited me in mine and Maddox’s suite.

But now, I remembered the rest. That the gift wasn’t only to pull, but to go . I could pass into the Night, too.

It was the very gift I needed now but, Gods, I didn’t know how to do it.

I called for her again. There was no answer. I gritted my teeth and groaned. The last time she went absent it had been weeks and I couldn’t possibly wait that long.

I stood from the bed and paced, trying to recall everything I knew about the Night.

It wasn’t much, not really. Mostly superstition.

That we lived in bliss once we woke up in the Night. That we met our loved ones, and got to spend eternity with them. And based off of what my mother said, that it might take years to wake up there. But if Mortitheos gave me the ability to travel to the Night, I’d need instructions on how.

I stared at the fire and the shadows it cast on the fur rug in front of it.

Shadows.

The shadows each time I’d seen my mother had been writhing. Moving in a way that they didn’t here. And I’d seen them the night she came to me to tell me about Charlotte. I’d always thought it was something about my mother, about her magic, that caused a stir in the darkness. But now I realized I’d seen shadows move like that before. In a dream, that night on the beach in Merwinan when I heard Maddox’s screams. The night he was taken by the Vasi.

My eyes widened and I sat on the edge of the bed, my breath hitching as I realized that the movement of the shadows, the way they hummed, wasn’t unique to my mother. I only saw them when she came to visit me, because she leaked a bit of the Night into our world when she came. And I only saw them in my dreams of her, because they weren’t dreams at all. What had she said when I first saw her in a dream?

“It takes a lot of energy to draw you out.”

Draw me out of what?

I had to think about it for only a moment before realization slammed through me.

Draw me out of the world of the living.

Each time I’d seen my mother, in that clearing in the middle of the night, it was more than a memory. Each time she had drawn me out until I passed through the veil and into the Night, without ever realizing it.

My eyes filled with tears as a second realization slammed through me.

The nightmare I’d had on the beaches of Merwinan, I’d missed Maddox that night. And perhaps some part of me knew something bad was going to happen. Perhaps Mortitheos himself pulled me through, however it happened that night on the beach when I heard Maddox’s shouts, that wasn’t a nightmare, not really. I’d been transported into the Night, somehow. And when I’d heard the grunts, when I heard his shout, it was because he was truly being taken on the other side of that veil.

I laid back on the bed then, and willed myself to sleep. Perhaps I could do it again, maybe I could slip into the Night and find Charlotte myself.

I tried, for maybe an hour. But it didn’t work. Even when I did fall asleep focusing on the Night, nothing happened. I called for my mother, and she didn’t answer. Perhaps it was like before and she was too far to hear me. Perhaps she was still looking for answers on the other side.

My teeth sank into my lip, chewing on it, when I heard a knock on the door.

I jumped and placed a hand on my chest, startled by the interruption.

I opened the door to see Dean on the other side, a worried look on his face. “Are you okay?”

I pursed my lips and nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize, I can just hear how fast your heart is racing. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Can you whisk me into the Night? I thought to myself.

But my eyes widened as I remembered that there was someone who could whisk me away, anywhere that I’d been before.

I cleared my throat.

“Actually,” I said, looking back up at Dean. “Would you mind going to the kitchens and asking for some chamomile tea?”

He gave me a small smile. “Of course not, Evaline. I’ll be back in a few,” he said, nodding toward me before leaving.

I shut the door and stood against it, guilt raging through me. Gods, this was wrong. This was so wrong, he already felt guilty, how would he feel now?

My magic swelled around me as I used it to quiet my movements, just as I’d been practicing when I’d snuck up on Wyott and Grant in Rominia.

I left my room and knocked on Sage’s door as quietly as I could, but loud enough to rouse her if she was sleeping.

When she opened the door I expanded a shield of Air around us so that no one would be able to hear our conversation, and pulled her into my room in case Lauden came back.

She furrowed her brows in worry and grasped my elbow.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered.

“I put a shield around us, you don’t need to whisper,” I said, but then cringed. “I need a favor.”

She nodded. “Anything, Evaline.”

I took a deep breath. I’d kept this secret from Sage for so long now. But she’d told me about her Gods gifted magic, it was time I told her about mine.

I explained what I could, as lightning fast as I was able. I didn’t explain the curse, just claimed that all I knew was that the Gods gifted me extra magic because my mother had created using blood magic. There wasn’t enough time to disclose everything to her.

“It’s why I have all four elements.” Her eyes widened as recognition flashed across her face. I went on to explain what each God had gifted me until I landed on Mortitheos. “He gave me the ability to slip the veil and go to the Night, and to bring those in the Night here.” Her eyes widened and her face paled.

She swallowed and looked to the ground between us.

“Oh.”

I nodded and reached forward and grabbed her hands.

“I know I have no right to ask this of you.” I cringed. “Again.”

She set her jaw and shook her head. “No, I’ll do it.”

My brows rose. “Really?”

“If we pull it off, this could change the world. Being able to go in and out of the Night, do you know what that could do for the living?”

I nodded, she was right.

“Histories could be remembered, loved ones could get closure. Gods, we could even learn more about your portals from the Sorcerers who’ve been killed,” I breathed, tightening my hands around her, and watched as her face flushed.

“When do you want to go?”

My lips pursed for a moment before I spoke.

“There’s no use in waiting until we get back to Rominia. Wyott would never let me do this if he knew.”

Her eyes were alight as she smiled. “So tonight, then.”

I pursed my lips. “Is that okay?”

She nodded. “Yes, let me go get dressed and leave Lauden a note.”

“I’ll leave one for Wyott and Dean, too. I’ll ask that Dean sends the raven for Wyott’s tomorrow.”

She pulled away and headed to leave when I spoke.

“My mother will be there, I just have to find her, and then she can help us find Charlotte.”

Sage stopped mid-stride and I watched as her shoulders tightened.

“Your mother?” she asked quietly, turning back to face me.

I nodded. “She’s the one who’s told me all of this. About my magic, and about Charlotte.”

Sage squared her shoulders to me again, and when she spoke, her voice shook.

“Your mother will be there? In the Night?”

I smiled and placed a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry. It’s not as if she’s a ghost or a skeleton. She looks just like herself.” I waved a hand over my form. “Just like me, actually.”

Sage nodded and swallowed as she backed away from me. “Oh. Okay.” She pursed her lips. “I’ll be back in a few. Be ready.”

She ran to her room and I rushed to pull on all of my weapons before I ripped my hair back into a braid.

I moved to the table to write the notes, when the world shook. It was a strong tremor, just as strong as when I’d stood beside Sage and watched her open a portal, and I realized she must’ve been portaling somewhere right now.

Worry wound in my gut as I was afraid she was leaving me here, to go get Wyott and tell him so that he’d stop me. In Rominia, when she’d gone to get him so I could feed Maddox, it had seemed like she’d only gotten Wyott in hopes that he’d talk me out of it.

But I ignored it, hoped there was another explanation, and sank down into a chair at the table. My hand scrawled through the note, writing as fast as I possibly could. I knew Dean would be back any minute, it didn’t take but ten minutes to boil some water for tea.

Just then there was a knock on my door, and I winced, afraid it was Dean.

I inched closer but didn’t open it.

“Yes?” I called through the door.

“Evaline? Are you okay? I felt that quake,” Dean said, his voice wild with worry.

I winced. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m in the middle of changing,” I lied. “Is the tea ready? You can leave it outside the door.”

I heard his breath of relief. “No, I ran up here to make sure you and Sage were okay. I’ll head back down and get it for you.”

“Thank you!” I called after him and placed a hand over my chest at the way my heart raced.

I left the note for Dean open, and closed the scroll for Wyott, begging Dean to send it to him tomorrow. If all went well, by the time Wyott got the note, I’d already be back in Rominia. But I felt guilty leaving without giving him any word.

I felt another tremor that seemed weaker, but by the time it had dwindled away, I felt another one that was far stronger.

I heard footsteps outside my door and my heart pounded, afraid it was Dean. Sage’s head popped in and she closed the door quickly behind her.

“Ready?” she asked, hair windblown and cheeks red.

I nodded and couldn’t help the excitement that fluttered through my chest. I slung my bag over my shoulder and turned to her.

“Where did you portal?”

Her eyes widened only slightly and she swallowed. “I had to go tell Lauden where we were going. I didn’t want to leave it in a note.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and followed her as she pulled us to the center of the room. She knelt down and slung a fur rug off of the wooden floor to clear a spot for us. Just like last time she held her hands over the floor until a portal opened. A rippling black and gray puddle, and extended her hand to me.

“You know what to do,” she said quickly.

I nodded and took a deep breath.My hand closed over hers and I noticed how clammy hers was.

I shut my eyes and pictured the Night. The way the shadows hummed, the dark that lurked all about, the way Merwinan’s castle loomed in the distance when I’d been on the beach.

“Ready?” she asked, and I opened my eyes.

The portal was a dark blue, and I could hear how the waves lapped at the shore through it.

“Yes,” I whispered.

We held hands, and each lifted a foot to step—

The door slammed open and Dean was in the doorway, eyes wide and crazed with worry. I’d forgotten to keep the shield of Air around us, he must’ve heard her open the portal.

He took in the scene, her hand over the portal, the opening at our feet, and the way the land shook around us.

His eyes widened, and he fell a step back as if he’d bodied a blow. Tears encroached the edges of his eyes and he looked at Sage with a look I couldn’t name.

He seemed to understand what we were about to do when he saw our feet suspended over the portal.

“No!” he screamed, lunging forward.

I felt Sage’s hand squeeze around my own. I screamed that I was sorry as we finished our step forward and I saw Dean blur across the room.

One second we were stepping across a dimly lit bedroom, and in the next, we were stepping onto the sands of Merwinan, in the darkness of night.

I looked behind us.

“Did it close on time? Dean didn’t come, too, right?”

I asked, turning to Sage to see tears in her eyes. I reached for her arm.

“What’s wrong?”

She looked at me, eyes widening in surprise.

“I…” she started but trailed off as she shook her head. “I don’t know.”

I pursed my lips as I stared at her, worried that I’d just brought her into something awful, that perhaps the Night was rejecting her.

But she shook her head and cleared her tears and her throat.

“It’s nothing, probably just guilt from leaving behind Lauden.”

“But you feel okay?” I asked.

She nodded and took a deep breath. “Yes, and the portal did close in time,” she said. “Otherwise he’d be standing here with us.”

I tried to ignore the guilt that flashed through me at what Dean must be thinking.

The beaches on the edge of Merwinan were just as I remembered, and as Sage and I looked up and down the coastline, she squeezed my hand.

I looked up to the skies. The moon was full here, even though it wasn’t in the world of the living. I looked up to Merwinan and saw the castle looming in the distance.

“I think…” I said, pausing to find the words, before turning to face her. “I think the Night is a mirror of our world.” We both looked up at the stars that weren’t this visible in the world of the living, and the moon that shined too bright. “One where it’s always night.”