Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter SixMaddox

Chapter Six

Maddox

T he night was quiet past the windows across from me, and all I could think about was how I’d had a moment of control over my body.

Inside, my emotions were at war. One half of me was absolutely thrilled, and hopeful, after my grasp at control. Going through and being myself again, even if it had only been for mere seconds, meant that it was possible . And if it was possible, it was only a matter of time before I was myself again, I didn’t care how hard I had to fight. I would, for my family. For my Evaline.

And that was where the second half of mind was caught up—on her.

I’d only emerged after I realized that Evaline was no longer on the island. Because if she wasn’t here, then it meant she was in danger. Wyott didn’t seem distraught when I’d seen him, which led me to believe that she wasn’t actively being harmed, but if she wasn’t within the wards of our kingdom or one of the Madierian Kingdoms, then she was in danger of Vasier finding her.

What the fuck was she doing anywhere besides Rominia?

The only reason that Wyott would’ve let her leave these wards was if it was to help me. That thought raised two different emotions in me; sorrow, that I’d put myself in a situation where now Evaline had to risk her life to save mine. And gratitude, that she found me worth saving. That after doing this to her, after letting myself turn, that she still loved me and was still fighting.

But Gods, I hoped it meant that she was only traveling from our wards to another. I hoped even harder that she had several Kova with her, too.

I supposed she could be going back to Kembertus to get Aurora and Jacqueline, but I prayed she wasn’t. I knew she wanted to protect her friends, especially after Vasier’s clear threat weeks ago, but going there would put her at such risk that my heart raced against my chest at the thought of her traveling there, without any wards, to a kingdom where there had once been a warrant out for her head, and where she was believed to be dead. Actual Sorceress or not, that’s a fast way to be accused of being one in a kingdom where it was illegal.

I was sucking in a deep breath to try and quell the race of my heart as I heard the door creak behind us.

The Vasi turned, and I noted that it took him a couple seconds longer than normal to fully open his eyes to see my father as he strode across the room.

I jolted at the sight of him. I hadn’t seen my father since we’d been angry with one another in his study before I went to Merwinan. He hadn’t come to see me since, and I knew it was because he would’ve treated my change as a death. He would’ve mourned my loss, thinking my return was impossible.

He didn’t look over at us, though. First, he strode to the other side of the room and grabbed a wooden chair, then brought it over to sit it across from us. He brought a leg up to cross over the other, closed his hands over his knee, then slowly lifted his eyes to meet ours.

He looked as if he’d aged several mortal years since I’d last seen him, and a pang of guilt stabbed through my gut. His eyes were dim, his skin was sallow, and I even spotted a gray hair that struck through the light brown of the rest of them.

The Vasi didn’t speak, and when I tried to ease down the link between us, I could tell that he wanted to. I’m sure he wanted to gloat in the face of the First Kova, to revel in my father’s misery as he had with all my other loved ones.

But he didn’t. And I’d bet that it was because he was afraid of sounding weak.

My father didn’t speak either, just looked over us. But after a few moments, he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. Just tossing and turning and driving your mother absolutely insane. And when that happens, I’ll get up, and go to my study.” He paused and his eyes grew sad. “But then I remember that it was the last place I saw you. The last time we spoke.” His eyes shifted, turning glassy, but he continued. “You’d been so angry with me, and I hadn’t even attempted to gain your forgiveness before you left.” His face crumpled before he lifted one hand to cover his face, and let out a sob. “And now you’re gone. You’re gone and I never got to tell you that I was sorry. That I’d felt so guilty ever since you left. That I was sorry I let my pride get in the way and didn’t come to see you off that day.”

Tears filled my eyes too, in my mind, and my chin quivered. My father and I had butted heads a lot throughout my life, and it hurt me to see him hurting over it.

My father took a deep breath, groaned a sound of annoyance, and wiped his hand down his face.

“And I was so awful to Evaline. To your mate.” My spine straightened at that. “All she wanted was to believe that you were still here, that you were still with us, and I tried to crush that hope. Tried to get her to plan a service, because I didn’t want her pain to be drawn out.” He shook his head, looking to the ground. “But she refused to give up, at least most of the time. She’s had her difficulties, but at least she kept getting back up.” He closed his eyes and cringed. “And before she left, we’d gotten into an argument. And I didn’t go to see her off. I made the same mistake with her that I made with you.”

He dropped his crossed leg so his feet were both planted on the ground and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, hands wringing between them.

“I keep seeing myself making these mistakes, but I never do anything to fix them. I feel trapped in this responsibility. Of being the leader of the Kova, of being the father of our kind, that I am unable to be a father to my own sons or daughters-in-law.”

He looked up at us, eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t know how to be both, and I think I only realized that when you turned.”

The tears in my eyes had fallen over the edge as he spoke, and I decided that there was no use in staying back here. The Vasi was so weak, and only getting weaker, and I didn’t feel scared to test the boundaries anymore.

I slipped through the tear.

“I just wish I could’ve told you all of this before you were gone. Before I lost my chance to do right by you. My son, forever.”

I ran toward the end of that tunnel, that dark hallway.

“But someday, I’ll tell you,” he said, standing up. “When we meet again, in the Night.”

I pulled on the control as my father turned to walk away. I grabbed the reins of my own mind as he opened the door, and gasped as I gained control of my body again, just as the door clicked shut.

“Father!” I shouted, but knew he couldn’t hear me through the soundproofed walls.

I jerked against the restraints, ready to run after him, to apologize for not making up with him before I left. To tell him that I’d never understand what it was like to be the first of his own kind, that I’d never know the loneliness he’d no doubt felt for decades before finding the friends he made along the way.

To forgive him.

But the Rominium bars held fast and bit into my chest, my neck, my ankles, my wrists, and shoved me back in my seat.

I looked around the room, chest still heaving from the exertion.

I was alone, alone and free of my mental prison, but not of the physical one.

My head turned and I looked at the water, at the way the moonlight bounced off of the waves. I felt the Vasi fighting inside, felt him rise up, and felt his anger swarm toward me.

I knew I only had a moment before he took me back down, so I just looked to the moon and wondered if Evaline was looking at it too, wherever she was.

There was a swell of pain behind my skull before he was on me, before he grabbed me, and tore me back.