Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter Fifty-EightEvaline

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Evaline

W e’d laid on the floor in front of the fireplace for a long time after we’d made love, but eventually, Maddox picked me up and carried me to the bathing room.

We took a bath even though I was half asleep. I was still covered in my own blood and couldn’t sleep in the bed without washing.

By the time we’d fallen into the sheets, we were both exhausted. We scooted into the middle of the bed until Maddox pulled me into his arms and curled his body around mine.

And despite being treacherously tired, I focused, and slipped into the Night.

I needed to see my mother, to make sure she was okay and to show her that I was.

I fell through the bed, into the Night, until I was standing in that same clearing as always.

“Mother?” I called out, and it was only a moment before I heard a stir behind me and saw her step from the shadows.

“Evaline?” she asked, tears in her voice and in her eyes. She rushed forward and folded me in her arms. “I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.”

I felt her tears slide over my bare shoulder and I tightened my arms around her.

“Don’t apologize. It was Vasier, not you.” I shook my head against her shoulder. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. By how devastated he was when I spilled the bowl, he doesn’t have any more of your hair to try it again.”

My mother only nodded against every word I said, but I could hear her sniffles, feel the way she clung to me out of fear.

“I’m okay,” I whispered. “I’m safe, I’m in Rominia.” My lips tugged into a smile. “With Maddox. My Maddox.”

That got my mother’s attention, and she pulled away from me, wiping her tears away.

“He came back?” she asked, her eyes brightening. “I thought so but it was so hard to tell, and there was so much happening.”

I nodded and smiled. “Yes, he’s back, and we’re together. Safe, within our wards.” My smile faltered for a moment, but I forced it to hold steady. “I know the war will likely come, Vasier will be so angry. And Maeve, my friend, we had to leave her behind.” I took a deep breath. “But for one moment, I can be happy. I can be happy that he’s—”

The shadows shifted around us and I felt something constrict around me.

My eyes widened at my mother, and I knew it was Maddox. I waited to be pulled from the Night, as I always had been in the past. But this time, I felt the control I held over my station here. And instead, I had to say goodbye to my mother and take myself from the clearing with her.

I opened my eyes. I was still in bed with Maddox, his body was still curled behind mine, but his arms tightened around me and I felt his body tremble.

“I didn’t mean to,” he cried in my ear, and I felt him shake his head against whomever he spoke to in his dreams.

But this wasn’t a dream, I realized, it was a nightmare.

I opened my eyes fully and did my best to spin in his arms until I faced him.

“Maddox,” I called, placing my hands on his face to try to wake him.

When that didn’t stop the tremor that jostled through him, I grasped onto his shoulders and shook him. “Maddox, wake up.”

His arms tightened around me again, and the pressure increased on my ribs.

“Maddox,” I said, and tried to keep the panic out of my voice. “You’re having a nightmare.”

His arms squeezed again, so tight that pain started to throb in my abdomen.

I fisted my hands and pounded them on his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he cried. “I’m so sorry.”

“Maddox!” My voice rose to a shout as I shook him, and jabbed him with my fists, but nothing worked.

I could hardly expand my chest to breathe. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I had to make him stop.

A small flame lit on my thumb and I pressed it to his arm.

His eyes burst open at the same time a vicious breath pulled through his lips, and he looked down at me, eyes wide.

I shoved against his chest and he seemed to realize what he’d done, and immediately unlocked his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out as I sucked in a deep breath.

I shook my head. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare,” I soothed between breaths, but he shook his head.

“It wasn’t, though. My greatest fear since I turned back, and what nearly all of my nightmares have been about, is becoming the Vasi and hurting you.” He reached out and placed a hand on my cheek, his eyes misting. “And here I am, doing it.”

I shook my head. “You know I can take care of myself,” I said, flattening a hand over his chest. “Lay back down, everything is okay.”

The worry didn’t leave his eyes but he finally laid his head back on the pillow.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

I ran my hand over his hair. “Don’t apologize,” I said softly. “Was that what this nightmare was about? Hurting me?”

His eyes looked between mine before he swallowed. “No, it was about earlier tonight. On the beach.”

My brows furrowed. “Wyott’s father?”

I’d hardly had time to deal with the information that Broderick was Rick. I knew we needed to go to Wyott soon, to make sure he was okay.

Maddox pursed his lips and shook his head. “No. I had a nightmare that I accidentally turned you into a Kova, without your consent.”

My eyes widened and a chill broke out over my skin. “What?”

His brows pulled together. “On the beach, Cora pushed me out of the way because I almost fed you my blood.”

I nodded, I remembered her doing so, but so much had been happening with Wyott, and I’d still been in excruciating pain and upset over Maeve, that I hadn’t really noticed anything was wrong.

“Eva, I’d just drank the blood that Sage had brought me, right before we came to get you.”

My eyes widened as I understood. In one moment of panic, in distraction, I’d almost become a Kova.

My magic chilled in my veins, as if realizing how close it had come to potentially being lost.

“Oh,” was all I said as I tried to process it.

Maddox’s face fell. “I know. I’m so sorry. I was distracted by Wyott, and you were hurt,” his eyes welled with new tears. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if Cora hadn’t been there to stop me.”

I caught a tear with my thumb. “It’s okay,” I whispered again. “She was there, so there’s no use in worrying about something that didn’t happen.”

He pursed his lips. “I just can’t imagine ever taking that decision away from you. I would never do that, so the fact that I almost did…I’m having a hard time letting it go.”

I took a long breath.

There was no use in putting it off anymore.

“I do want to change, Maddox,” I whispered, and I felt the immediate surge of his hope down the bond. “But I can’t.” I shook my head, tears of my own sprouting. “I’m sorry. I can’t risk my magic. Not with the curse, not with Vasier still out there hurting people.”

He tilted forward and kissed my forehead. “Don’t ever apologize for doing what is best for you,” he said, pulling back to meet my eyes.

A weight lifted from my chest.

“Are you sure?” I asked, breathless. “Even if I won’t be here for centuries, like you?”

This conversation, it’d needed to be had for months. But I had been afraid. Afraid that he’d be angry that I didn’t want to turn, and mostly afraid for what that meant for us, as I aged and he didn’t.

“Of course I’m sure, Eva,” he whispered. “Besides, we truly don’t know how your aging works. Your mother was nearly as old as my father and Vasier when she passed. Yours could be the same.”

My stomach fell at that, because I knew what caused my mother’s immortality, and it had been for one very specific reason.

I sat up and pulled the blankets with me as I told Maddox all of it—how my mother had died locking my magic away, how she sacrificed herself in the hopes that I wouldn’t have to be dealing with exactly what I was right now.

He nodded as I spoke, and when I was finished, he slid a thumb over my knuckles.

“Your parents loved you, so much. It must feel awful to miss them, but I hope you don’t blame yourself.”

I nodded, tears pricking my eyes. “I do,” I breathed.

Maddox kissed the new tears away.

“Your mother, and your father, knew exactly the choice they were making when they did what they did to keep you safe. And I’m sure, in a million different lives, they’d do it again each and every time.”

I took a deep breath, letting his words sink in.

“And since the Gods did grant your mother extra time to have and mentor you, perhaps they’ll give you more time, too. To fulfill your curse.” He shook his head. “But even if they don’t, we will figure it out.”

“You’re right,” I breathed.

We sat there for a few, silent, moments.

“When Vasier and Lauden brought my mother’s soul into me, I wonder if it was like it was for you.” I started and saw a haunted look flash over his eyes. “It was like I was shoved back, away from my own mind and control.”

He swallowed. “Yes. That’s what it was like.” His jaw twitched, but he continued. “Except that the Vasi kept me in a cage, and it was only after I found my way out, that I realized that I could take back control.”

Maddox explained how he had explored the Vasi’s mind and waited for his time to strike. How his loved ones had helped. How the moment he discovered that I was in danger with Sage and Lauden was the final push it had taken for him to take back control, for good.

And then, I told him what it was like after he turned. How the bond was still there, just blocked.

“It was the only hope I had to hold onto,” I whispered. “That you were still there, waiting.”

He smiled and scraped his thumb along my jaw. “I was. I was inside, begging and screaming for you all to hear me. To help me.” He tilted his head. “And you did. You gave me your blood, which kept me strong and made the Vasi weak. It was as if your blood was a cure.”

“It was all I could do. Try everything I possibly could.”

He brushed his lips against mine. “Thank you for not giving up on me, Eva.”

I groaned against the light that streamed in through the windows and tilted my head to shove my face into Maddox’s chest.

His chuckle vibrated through my skull.

“Still tired?” he whispered and I nodded.

“You’re already awake?” My voice was hoarse as I lifted my head off of his chest to look up at him. He was laid back against the pillows, holding me close.

“For a few hours,” he said softly.

My eyes widened. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I looked out of the windows to see where the sun hung in the sky. “Did I sleep in?”

His hand swept down my back. “It’s still early, I just haven’t been able to sleep much at night.” He shrugged. “And I didn’t want to wake you. Your life has been so tumultuous, I figured you probably didn’t sleep much in Mortithev. You deserve your rest.”

I nodded, eyes falling down to his chest. “You’re right. I barely slept at night.”

Maddox’s other hand tightened on my knee draped over his hips.

“I slept in a chair, so I could keep my barbed wire in my braid.”

I looked up at him to see his reaction, assumed it would be pride, but instead, his eyes were clouded with worry.

And that was when I remembered what Vasier had done. My eyes shot open and I pushed myself up and off of his chest, sitting up in front of him.

My hands reached for my hair and felt at the scalp where I remembered the flash of pain when Vasier had ripped at my braid.

Of course, there wasn’t any pain, I’d healed from Cora’s blood.

“My barbed wire is gone,” I whispered, running my hands through the length of my hair, where I had been so used to my wire existing all day and all night, for weeks.

Vasier had taken the one thing that made me feel safe, and used it against me.

I dropped my hands down in front of me, remembering the way the barbed wire looked locking my wrists together. How the pain from its bite was nearly blinding.

“Oh Gods,” I breathed as I stared down at my wrists.

Maddox’s hands reached forward and covered mine as he leaned to look closer, too.

Neither of us had noticed them yet. After I’d felt the pain disappear from drinking Cora’s blood, I hadn’t looked twice at them. There had been too much happening. And then after Maddox and I came back, they were still covered in blood, and then bubbles in the bath. We’d never taken the time to look.

Until now.

Only to find white scars encircling my wrists.

“I don’t understand,” Maddox breathed, shaking his head. “You drank Cora’s blood.”

I swallowed as I pulled my hands from his, turned my wrists to look at them better.

Vasier had pushed the insides of my wrists together, locking the barbed wire around the outsides.

My fingers softly traced the scars like thin bracelets on each wrist. They were flat, as if nearly healed, but still white. A faint white line traced my wrist, but several brighter and jagged lines etched back and forth across it. The barbs.

“Did you drink enough of her blood?” Maddox asked softly, and I realized I hadn’t responded to him yet.

I shook my head. “I thought I did. But I wanted her to get to Wyott, so I pushed her away. Maybe it wasn’t long enough,” I whispered. “Maybe they’d started healing around the barbed wire while I was still in Mortithev.”

Maddox was quiet for a moment before he took my hands and lifted them, placing kisses on the scars. His lips were soft and covered every part of my wrist that had been harmed, and his hair, that long curl, brushed over my forearms as he moved.

“I’m sorry, Eva,” he whispered.

And I knew he didn’t mean it like the last time I’d been scarred. When Cradley had stabbed my side and Maddox couldn’t feed me enough blood because I was unconscious.

He knew this time, he couldn’t bear any blame.

Maddox apologized for what he knew the scars would be to me, for the rest of my life.

A reminder.

Of what Vasier had done to me, of the betrayal I barely survived, and ultimately, of the weaponization of my own barbed wire against me. The one thing that had kept me safe, made me feel safe, since the day I stole it from a farmer’s barn in Kembertus.

Maddox finished kissing them and sat silently with me, as the tears welled in my eyes, and a single drop fell down onto my new scars.

We both jumped when there was a knock at the door, and Maddox ran to get it.

I pulled myself from the bed and into the bathing room since I was naked, and I heard Rasa enter.

I quickly dressed, leaving my hair the way it was—tangled and wavy from sleeping on it wet—and ran out to see her.

At the same time, a laugh rumbled through my lips, and a blush erupted on my face at the sight of Maddox standing there, talking to his mother, in nothing but a pair of sleep pants. Not to mention my ballgown was still splayed across the ground behind them.

But if she noticed, or realized what any of that meant , she didn’t say anything, and I’d never been so thankful for her.

She turned to me with a smile as wide as her open arms and rushed forward with tears in her eyes.

Rasa wrapped me up in an embrace and pressed the side of her face into my hair.

“Oh thank the Gods,” she whispered. “We were all so worried about you.”

My eyes opened and raised to Maddox’s, where his were pinned on the two of us.

Tears took away my voice, at the thought of how scared he must’ve been and at the memory of how convinced I was that I would never see any of them ever again.

I could only nod against her shoulder, and try to hide the sniffles that had begun at her embrace, and finally, she pulled away.

“You are home, and just as we promised before, all of us, the entire family, will help to deal with Vasier.”

Maddox scoffed at that, and Rasa and I both turned toward him at the same time. But where my brows were furrowed, confusion on my face, Rasa clenched her jaw, worry in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking between the both of them.

Maddox ground his jaw. “My father hasn’t been doing anything to stop Vasier, or to answer what he’s allowed to happen to us already. Between taking you, and the ward outside.”

My face paled. I’d already forgotten about the Vasi standing outside, and my heart jolted against my chest as I remembered what Vasier had said, what he’d revealed both he and Kovarrin could do.

Compel the Kova and the Vasi, too.

“I need to talk to the family, and Charlotte. I need to talk to everyone.”