Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter Fifty-NineMaddox

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Maddox

M y mother told us she’d send word for Wyott and Cora, and Sage and Dean, and left quickly.

“What do you mean, he hasn’t done anything?” Evaline asked the moment the door snapped shut.

I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair, pushing it back and out of my face.

“He’s afraid of Vasier,” I shook my head as I took her hand in mine and pulled her to sit on the chaise in front of the fire with me. “And Wyott told me, after Sage told him and Dean, about Vasier. That he loved Alannah too, and it was clear last night at the ceremony that he loved her. I just don’t understand why my father is so afraid of him.” I threw my hand toward the window. “There’s been a ward out there for weeks now and he’s done nothing to resolve it, just accepted the word of the Sorcerers who told him it was impossible. But the rest of it, the Vasi outside, my turn, your abduction, he won’t do anything about anything .” I turned back to her, saw her worried eyes. “Your friend Maeve is a perfect example of why we should’ve stopped Vasier centuries ago.” I ground my jaw. “We have the numbers, we have your magic, we need to just end it once and for all.”

My gaze had fallen to the fire that crackled beside us, and when I’d fallen silent, and been caught staring at the flickering flames, I noticed it.

A buzz of worry down the bond.

I turned to Evaline, brow raising.

I closed a hand over her knee in an instant and tilted my head to catch her wide-eyed stare.

“What is it, sweetheart?” I asked, worry already winding up my throat.

She swallowed. “You don’t have the numbers,” she whispered.

I straightened and tried to focus on her words as she spoke. As she told me everything she knew. About Vasier’s hatred for my father, for taking Alannah away from him— not for leaving him behind. About Rick being Vasier’s right-hand man. And finally, about the about the army he’d created. About the ships he had, surely to ferry them all out of Mortithev to the mainland, to meet us in battle in Widow Maker Plains.

And finally, about his perspective on all the wars before.

That they hadn’t been wars at all, just battles he’d known he’d lose. Battles he sent his soldiers to fight, time and time again until the Kova were lulled into a sense of security. Until we’d relaxed on our military training, on our preparedness.

So he could plan the perfect time to strike.

And that time, was now.

“We have to tell my father,” I said, my voice raspy from the toll that the news took on me.

Evaline wound her hands in her lap. “There’s something else. I’m not sure if you knew, but I definitely didn’t.”

I looked up at her, shaking my head. “What?”

“Did you know that Vasier and Kovarrin can compel Kova and Vasi?”

My body stilled, my heart raced, my mind fogged.

I cleared my throat. “What did you say?”

She pursed her lips. “Vasier said that he and Kovarrin could compel Kova and Vasi.”

I shook my head, thankful the words had come from Vasier and no one else.

“That’s impossible, it was a lie,” I said, taking a deep breath, relieved that the information was false, and stood to change.

“No, Maddox,” she said, and her hand reached for mine, and stopped me from walking away. “It’s true. Charlotte saw it with her own eyes. It’s why James thought she was dead.”

I looked back down at my mate, as my mind reeled from the consequences of her words.

“Vasier said that because they are the first, they can compel more than just humans or Sorcerers. That they can compel Kova and Vasi too.” She shook her head. “And he was not surprised that Kovarrin kept that from everyone.”

I turned away from her, faced the fire, and fell silent.

My mind worked through every memory I’d ever had. At the lessons that my father had given me on how to compel when I was a boy. When he taught me how to use the mind manipulation, in none of the lessons did he mention that he could do it on me, if he wanted.

I couldn’t help but think of the look on Sage’s face when she’d realized that Vasier—her father—had compelled her.

Could it be…?

I shook away the thought and aimed for the bedroom.

“I need to change, and we need to go talk to Charlotte.”

She was still in the manor, or at least that’s what my mother had said before. I wondered why, but figured it was because she wanted to know her place here before she went to her family. That she didn’t want Kovarrin to maintain his threat, and tell her family what she’d done all those decades ago.

I’d already wanted to talk to her. She was the only person in the world who could understand what I’d been through, but this new information only intensified the need to speak with her.

Evaline and I made our way through the halls, and when I knocked on her door, I was thankful that she opened up right away.

She looked much better than she had the night before. My mother must’ve gotten Otto to come remove her shackles, and she had clearly fed and washed. Gone were the ridges in her cheekbones, and the dull tint to her hair. Now she stood, alert and alive, and invited us in.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” she asked as she closed the door and turned to me.

I didn’t need to ask what she’d meant. I didn’t know when she’d discovered that I’d changed and come back—Wyott, Dean, Sage, and I had been locked in a soundproofed hideaway when she’d spoken to Evaline at the ceremony—but I nodded.

“Yes.”

She nodded and led us to the dining table, and we all sat together. Charlotte on one side, and Evaline on mine.

“I told her my mate had changed,” Evaline said as we sat, and we both looked to Charlotte.

“Your mate fought for you to come back, just as mine did,” she said, and her eyes warmed at even the thought of James. I couldn’t imagine the pain of not seeing the person you’d loved for decades.

I tightened my hand where it curled over the top of Evaline’s thigh.

“Yes, we’re both blessed by the Gods for that,” I responded and felt the surge of love that swept down the bond from Evaline.

Charlotte pulled her hands onto the tabletop, clasping them in front of her.

“You clearly don’t need to know how to come back, so I assume you want to know how I got rid of my Vasi?”

My ears piqued at that, and my muscles tensed.

“What?” I asked, and as if to remind me he was here, I heard the distant pound of his hands on his boundary.

Her eyes flicked to Evaline, and my mate shook her head.

“I didn’t know that,” she whispered. “James didn’t mention that.”

Charlotte’s brows furrowed before her lips pursed.

“Vasier must have compelled him to forget that, too,” she bit out, shaking her head. “I couldn’t hear all of it, they were already dragging me away once Vasier told him the false story of my death.”

Evaline’s hands clasped around my wrist, my forearm, as Charlotte said the words. I knew it was because they were confirmation, without either one of us to even ask the question.

“Vasier can compel Kova?” The words fell from my lips and Charlotte’s eyes met mine.

“You didn’t know?” she whispered, face paling. “I mean, I assumed I didn’t know because we’d just been his soldiers, and then we’d been banished. But I thought you—his son—would’ve known.”

I ground my jaw and gave one shake of my head.

I tried to lock down the anger, the rage. Felt the Vasi fight in my mind.

He’d lied again . He’d lied about his creation, that Vasier was his brother, and now this.

“You saw this?” I asked, even though she’d just claimed she had.

She nodded. “Yes. I begged Vasier not to kill James, that I would do whatever he wanted of me and give him my secret of coming back, if he’d just let James go. But he couldn’t just let him leave, not with that information, so he compelled him.”

Evaline caressed up and down the back of my hand, I’m sure she could sense my anger down the bond.

“He did what we do. He locked eyes, and told him what he wanted him to do. To forget. To know. But they pulled me away before I could say goodbye, before he finished the compulsion.”

Evaline leaned forward now, toward Charlotte.

“And he’s just kept you, all this time?”

The Kova turned her eyes on Evaline and nodded. “Yes. In a cell in the dungeon. I was malnourished, kept from the sunlight, and recently when they got their hands on Rominium chains, they locked me up in those, too.”

I straightened at that, and guilt ripped through me. That was my fault. I’d brought Rominium when we went to Merwinan to try to catch a Vasi, but only ended up caught ourselves.

But I didn’t say that, there was no point to it, I only feared what Vasier had done with the rest of those chains. We’d brought several sets, and only brought one with us back with Charlotte.

“When you were there, did you hear anything? Any information at all that would be useful to us now, in the war? Vasier is going to come after us, after me now that he’s seen I’ve changed, too. After you,” I said, nodding to Charlotte. “And you,” I said, my voice soft as I turned to Evaline, felt the painful beat of my chest, worried over what would happen to her if he came for her again .

“No,” Charlotte said, sighing. “They didn’t come down to me very often, and I couldn’t overhear anything because my cell must’ve been so far from everyone else’s, it was almost always quiet.”

I swallowed at that, at the memory it stirred. Of being locked up in a cell, in the quiet, with no way to know if my friends were okay, if they were even alive.

And to deal with that, for years , I couldn’t bear to think of it for longer than a moment.

There was a beat of silence, and then Evaline spoke.

“Do you still feel your Vasi?” she asked me quietly.

I looked at her, then to Charlotte, and nodded.

“Yes. I can still feel him. Sometimes I can hear him pounding against his cage, trying to get out. Did you have that?” I asked her.

She nodded. “Yes, at first. For several years, I did. She was always there, in the back of my mind.” Charlotte turned to Evaline. “You said you went to mine and James’ home, but I have no idea if he’d keep them up all these years later.” Her eyes fell to the table, sad. “They probably would’ve made it so hard to heal…”

Evaline was nodding in an instant. “Yes, we saw the portraits.”

Charlotte pursed her lips and slid her eyes up to mine.

“In our home, I had two portraits hanging up. Both of me, one as a Kova and one as a Vasi. They hung in our sitting room because I wanted to pass them every day. When I made my morning tea, and when I walked past them to go to bed each night. I wanted to remind myself how easily it could happen.” Her brows furrowed now, and her eyes grew angry. “In one instant, in one mistake—even innocently—it can happen. And it did, and I never wanted to forget that.”

I nodded, leaning toward her.

“Yes, exactly,” I said, awed to be talking to someone who knew exactly what it felt like to constantly be on edge, to constantly listen for that sound in your mind, to constantly fear . “I feel like every moment is spent waiting for him to pounce, waiting to defend.”

She reached her hand across the table, laid it over mine that sat there, too.

“You need to let that go,” she whispered.

My head cocked. “What?”

It was the last thing I’d ever expected her to say. I’d been prepared for a training plan, for a lesson in building walls and defenses against him, even if they were mental. And to hear this, it had me tilting my head back, in genuine shock.

“I was just like you when it first happened. I was just like you for so long, and it was so exhausting.” Her eyes pinched in sadness, in sympathy, as she tilted her head. “And the only thing it caused was a tax on my relationship with James, because I was always closing myself off, afraid the Vasi would come back. I’d have horrible nightmares over it, and would wake up nearly hurting James in the middle of the night from the dreams alone.”

I swallowed and my hand on Evaline’s thigh involuntarily squeezed as Charlotte painted the picture of a future between Evaline and me that I did not want, but was already beginning to craft.

There was no world, no reality, in which I wanted to be anything but completely open with Evaline, completely myself. I wanted her to have all of me, as I wanted all of her. And I refused to let my mistake come between us, not again.

“The longer I had her in there, though, I realized that the more I fought back, the more power she had over me. And when I finally understood that—that I can’t forget and I can’t take back that part of my life—she just kind of quieted down inside of me.”

The breath in my chest released at this confession, this lesson. It wasn’t the one I expected, but the one I needed.

“And to be honest, I say that I got rid of my Vasi, and that’s what Vasier thought I did. After I’d told him the story, he thought I’d gotten rid of her, too.” Charlotte’s eyes shifted to Evaline. “It was why he brought me there, for that ritual. He wanted me to be there, so that once your mother took control, I could teach her how to get rid of you, completely.”

I felt the anguish wash down the bond from Evaline, but only a moment before I sensed her start to calm herself.

She knew she was safe, here, away from him.

“But the longer I sat in that cell, the more time I had to do nothing but think about my life, about my choices, and about what happened to me, the more I started to realize that I don’t think I necessarily got rid of her.”

Charlotte was looking to me now, and I saw the way her eyes flashed when she said that word. Her . Just as my mind pulsed with anger when I thought of him . At what he’d done, when he’d been me.

“I think that maybe she just became a part of me,” Charlotte said, and my eyes widened on hers. “That I balanced the two of us, inside. Sometimes, I still have those thoughts, those hateful angry thoughts she always had, but I can just let them go, now. I don’t let them control me. I’ve accepted that she’s a piece of who I am, of my history, and there’s no use fighting her, or hating myself for what happened.”

Her hand patted gently on top of mine.

“If you fight him, he controls you. But if you accept that what’s been done—both what you did and what he did—is all in the past and that nothing can be done to change it, then you are finally free. You are free to let him dissolve away in your mind, until you both are one.”

I shook my head, causing a few of the tears in my eyes to loose down my cheeks.

“If we’re one, won’t I be worse off? I won’t be the same Maddox as I was before—before him.”

She smiled softly and shook her head. “You will always be the same Maddox. You will just have a better understanding of the world, of the stakes, and you will understand that having bad thoughts—thoughts that were once part of who he was—is okay. There’s nothing wrong with you if the bad thoughts stay in your mind, if you don’t act on them. That urge to drain may come up again, but you’re stronger now. Stronger than you ever were, before him.”

Even as she said the words, I felt him fighting. Felt him slamming against that boundary. And, for the first time, I tried to do as she said. I took a deep breath and tried to let the fear of him slip from my mind. Tried to remember that I’d come back, that he could never get to me again, tried to forgive myself for what I’d done.

For a brief moment, there was silence.