Shadowing My Dreams (Haunted Hearts)

Chapter 10

10

Archie

H ow the fuck did I get here? Was it his chiseled face and jawline? I swear I could cut myself on it. Don’t even get me started on that stupid chin dimple. But it was really his soulful brown eyes that made me melt. No… That’s a lie. It was that stupidly muscular body. Why did I have to have a type that was never good for me?

I was skinny and pasty. I wasn’t ugly, and I knew that. But I glowed in the fucking dark. It wasn’t usually the way to a man’s heart.

We had nothing in common. He definitely spent all of his time in a gym. He was a trainer, for fuck’s sake. This wasn’t even what he considered his best body, but his body seemed to be about the best body I’d ever seen. My ex was also a muscle boy, but he paled when compared to Jack.

So? Why were we here?

“You’re not eating very much?” He had cleaned his plate already. Steak and a salad, which figured.

I pushed around the fish and rice with my fork. “I’m still a little… I get hungry – ravenous, actually, whenever I connect because it takes so much energy out of me. They drain me because I feed them the energy they need to manifest or to speak to me.”

“You’re like a living battery?”

I nodded. “When I have to be. That’s not always the case, though. Some ghosts use other sources because that’s what they’re used to. But usually, yeah. I’m their battery.”

“But this time is different?”

“Yeah. His sickness… Whatever it is has been hard to expel. It takes me a little longer to recover.” It felt like I had been beaten. My body still ached, and my head was threatening a migraine at any moment.

“I don’t understand that. I thought, I mean, in movies, people who die don’t stay sick. I can’t think of an example right now, but… Star Wars! Kenobi wasn’t cut in half as a ghost.” He looked so pleased – it was adorable.

“That’s a movie and not real… ghosts. But I’ve never met a sick ghost until now. It’s like he’s wrapped himself up in it somehow.” I didn’t understand what I had felt from him.

“Like a shroud?”

“Exactly. It’s not normal. But spirits are never normal. It depends on… them, I guess.” I shrugged and pushed my plate away. I didn’t even want to look at it.

“Have you always been able to see ghosts?” He asked so casually as if he didn’t see me as a freak. Most people did when they found out, and especially when they saw me interact.

“I was really young. I was six.”

“That had to be scary. You were just a child.” He looked concerned and it filled me with a warmth I didn’t expect from him. He was continually surprising me.

“I was terrified. I had just attended my grandfather’s funeral and saw him in the coffin – which was already scarring for me. Then, that next night, he walked into my room and sat on the edge of my bed just like he always used to. I screamed, and the look he gave me broke my heart even more than it already was. I was ready when he reappeared the next night. I wasn’t scared. I knew it was really him. He had wanted to say goodbye – he did – and I never saw him again. He went to wherever it was he went.”

“That’s really heavy.”

“For a six-year-old? Yeah. But it never ended after that. I knew what they were, and my grandmother told me that they couldn’t hurt me, so I stopped being scared. She also was sensitive to the dead, but her gifts weren’t as developed as mine, even at a young age. I now know better. I was able to get help from someone who could teach me how to shield myself when I needed to. Dealing with the supernatural takes a toll in a lot of ways.” Exhaustion mainly, and right now I was truly running on reserves. But I wanted to be here. I wanted to know more about him, even if I knew it might be a bad idea.

“I bet. I almost shit my shorts as I ran away.” He snorted.

“That was smart. Not all spirits are… kind.”

“It seems like mine is a master at throwing shade.”

“Agreed. Now, you.” I placed my elbows on the table and leaned on them. “Tell me something about you.”

“I… What do you want to know?” He smirked. “You already know my wifi password.”

“Tell me about growing up,” I offered. I was dazzled by him even if I should know better. But his energy wasn’t bad. It was just scattered. But the colors were those of kindness and sexuality mixed with the fading hues of his death. “What was young Jack like?”

Hi sighed and leaned back in his chair. “He ate and breathed football and soccer. It was all I thought of. My dad was a high school football star, and he expected the same from me since I was his only son. So, I played, and I was pretty good – but not as good as he was. Not as good as he wanted me to be. We don’t really get along. I moved out the minute I graduated, took all of the money that I had saved for college, and moved here. God, it was a stupid thing for me to do. But it was what I wanted, and looking back, I guess it was what I was supposed to do.”

Suddenly, his bravado made sense. It was all a cover for the wounded person he was. “Did you go to college?”

“No. I got a job at the gym almost immediately. I was in perfect shape and eighteen – they hired me on the spot, and I learned from the other trainers what I needed to know.”

“A pretty face and a hot body opens doors.” I giggled.

“I really like itwhen you tell me I’m hot. It does things to me,” he growled, and I almost fell off my chair.

“Stop flirting. We have a ghost to save,” I begged. If he kept flirting, I wasn’t sure I would make good choices.

“See, you keep saying things like that. I just want him out of my house.”

I took a second to respond so he might understand. “He’s hurt, somehow. Lost in a way, even if he doesn’t know it. There’s something tying him there, and he needs help. He’s a soul in need , Jack.”

“You really are a very good person. I see you, Arch. The way you try to take care of everyone and, I guess, everything. I bet you even save cats from trees,” he chuckled. “It’s very attractive and… It makes me want to know you.”

“You’re talking biblically, aren’t you?” I flirted back, unable to stop myself.

“Yes. But I’m really talking about you.” He leaned forward and began to slide his hand across the table before pulling it back. God, I wanted to touch his hand again.

“Tell me something else about you. I’m… sorry about your parents, Jack. That’s hard.” I changed the subject back to something safer.

“They don’t even know about the accident. They have no idea that I died. I don’t think they get to know that anymore.” He was so matter-of-fact about it.

“Your mom?”

“She took Dad’s side. She was never very good at having a thought or emotion of her own. When I left, they made it clear that I was no longer welcome. Their choice – not mine. But it’s also their choice to either open the door back onto my life or not. I assume they have chosen since they never used the number I gave them.” The small hint of regret in his voice made me want to hold him.

“You moved here to WeHo at eighteen? I assume you knew you were gay?”

He chuckled loudly. “Oh, yeah. I learned that quickly in middle school when I got a crush on my best friend. I knew better than to say anything to him about it. He was definitely straight. But it wasn’t the tits of the cheerleaders I was looking at. It was the asses of the football players,” he smirked.

“God, no wonder you became a man whore,” I chuckled.

“Hey, I…” He stopped and nodded. “I deserve that title. It’s true.”

“It’s totally in your energy field. Sex radiates off you.” I blushed.

“Still? Huh? I was eighteen and eager to start my life and there were many men who threw themselves at me. I was a go-go boy at Mickey’s for a little while. I didn’t actually enjoy it, though. Got great tips.” He grinned. “But that’s all behind me. Is it weird that dying changes you?”

“I think that if anything could – It’s a jolt to your very essence.” I smiled at him warmly.

“You use very pretty words that I might have to google later. I have a bad high school education and a limited vocab. Sorry, Arch, but this is me. I think I want to be worthy of someone like you, though.”

“Someone like me?”

“Can I touch you here, or is that dangerous?” He leaned forward again.

“Tell me more about the new you. What is it you want, Jack?”

“I used to go work, go out and dance my ass off and then bring a boy home to fuck. It was a regular thing. But since I got home, I’ve… I put away my cell phone and deleted Grindr. I limit my social media to just a few minutes a day, and I don’t keep my cell phone on me any longer. I started reading a book. I have always loved to read, but over the last few years, I stopped, so I started again. I haven’t gone to a bar. I haven’t hooked up with anyone. I’m… I think I’m tired of trying that hard, and I tried very hard. But I have no idea what it was I had even been trying to do except be wild. I don’t want that any longer. I want a home life and security again. I want what I should have always wanted – a good life that I’m proud of. I make good money; I just blew through all my savings when I was dead. The shopping in the afterlife is amazing,” he laughed deeply, and I felt my toes curl.

“That sounds like you’re a changed man.”

“I am,” he answered happily. “I’m… I like knowing you. I think you’re someone who would be so good to know – biblically and in life. You’re so strong and self-assured.”

“Am I? I think that’s just a front I put on. I’m terrified of too many things.” I was honest with him. I couldn’t see a reason not to be.

“What kind of things?”

“Things like you.” I glanced away. “We should get out of here. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of trying once again to get your ghostly roommate to cross over. You ok with that?”

“I’m just supposed to let that go and let you change the subject, right?”

“Yes, please.”

“Ok… You never did answer my question, though. Is it safe for us to touch here?”

I glanced around the restaurant and opened myself up. It was clean of spiritual energy. I nodded.

Jack stood up, came over to my side of the table, and held out his hand. I took it and let him gently pull me up. His arms wrapped around me, and he leaned forward. “I’m gonna kiss you now. You can stop me if you don’t want me to.”

I tilted my head up towards him, and his lips gently touched mine. It wasn’t a peck, but it was more chaste than I would have expected of him. I wrapped my hand around his neck and opened my mouth. His kiss grew hungrier, and his tongue slowly pressed into my mouth. I moaned into the kiss, and he slowly pulled back.

“I think this might have been our first date. I fuck on the second.” He grinned at me. “I do like you, Arch. I don’t want to be something that you’re scared of.”

“I’ll consider it.”

He walked me outside and I watched him walk away toward what I assumed was Daveed’s house. I turned and headed home. Somehow the moon shown brighter than it ever had.

I was life’s biggest fool, but the damage was already done.