Shadow’s Heart (Devil’s Inferno MC #3)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Wreck

I t didn’t take long once Shadow got me settled on the sofa for me to fall asleep. The only problem with that though is it’s the first time I’ve fallen asleep without him since everything happened, and without him next to me. Well, the nightmares have started. I knew this would happen; part of me has been waiting for them. There was no way after what Rex did to me that I wouldn’t experience nightmares at some point. It was inevitable.

I’m just thankful that I didn’t scream out or thrash around in my sleep; not only would that have fucking hurt, but it would have notified Shadow to what was happening, and I don’t need him any more worried about me than he already is. He’s already in full-on mother-hen mode right now and worrying over every little thing.

He might not have said it out loud to me, but his actions make it clear that he’s still worried something more could happen to me. I overheard him on the phone just before I fell asleep, making sure The Compound was secure and that we had more people on watch than just whoever was manning the gate.

I know this is his way of dealing with everything, and that’s fine. Whatever he needs to do for his peace of mind is fine with me, but I’m not worried about someone else coming for me. Not with Megan gone and in the hands of The Khaos Group, and I very much doubt Jake or any other member of his family will be letting Rex out of their sight when he returns from his current job. They are the only two people who I can think of doing anything, and well, they’re taken care of.

I still can’t even begin to fathom Megan’s thinking behind all of this. I know she doesn’t like me; that was clear as day from the moment we met, but trying to get rid of me is a little bit over the top. When I was trying to think of who could have lied to Rex, she never crossed my mind. Why would she? Yeah, I was fully aware of how much she doesn’t like me, but that doesn’t automatically mean lying, scheming, and attempted fucking murder. Not everyone likes everyone; it’s a fact of life. I feel like I’m missing something when it comes to her motivations, or maybe she’s just fucking crazy and trying to understand any of it isn’t worth it. I don’t know, and I need to know. I feel like if I’m ever going to put this fully behind me, then I need answers. Actually, part of me also wants a face-to-face with the bitch when I’m not just waking up in a hospital bed injured. I want my chance to say my piece to her. I think I deserve at least that after everything she put me through. The only problem with that is she’s now in the custody of The Khaos Group, and I very much doubt even if I get permission to see her that Shadow will be happy about it.

I shut down all these thoughts for now; there’s nothing I can do about any of it until I’m healed. I can worry about all that in the future. Instead, I focus on what I can smell. Flame’s lasagne cooking. Fuck yes. I love Flame’s lasagne; it might just be my favorite food. Shadow picked well out of everything we’ve been left with. After all the crappy food I’ve had to stomach, I’m so ready for what’s coming.

Slowly, I ease off the couch and head into the kitchen. The sight that greets me as I enter the kitchen is one that makes me almost swallow my damn tongue. Shadow is topless, all of his chiseled tattooed chest on display. For the love of God, how many times have I seen the man topless, hundreds if not thousands? For fucks sake, I’m the one who did all his tattoos. I shouldn’t be reacting like this just because I’m now aware of my attraction to him, and there’s no denying my attraction towards him. It’s not just emotional what I’m feeling but physical too. All I want is to lean forward and lick, kiss, and bite all of my beautiful artwork that decorates his tanned body. Shit. I need to change my train of thought right now. I can’t risk him finding out how I feel. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t risk it. I wouldn’t survive without him.

I give myself an internal shake before plastering a smile on my face. It’s not a fake smile either. I am happy to just be here with him. I can push my feelings and attraction away. They’re just an added layer. They can live in the back of my mind while I carry on like always.

“You okay?” He asks as he spots me in the doorway.

“Yeah, I’m good. Ready for some of that amazing food I can smell though.”

“Five minutes and you can eat away.” He informs me happily.

That’s good, because I can now hear my stomach grumbling away. Yeah, I’m pretty damn hungry. It’s a good thing too; I need food to fuel my healing, and I haven’t exactly had a great deal to eat while at the hospital. The food was worse than what I was provided while Rex had me. Bring on Flame’s cooking.

I’m also really glad to see Shadow looking so much happier. He looks more like his normal self. He’s not back to normal, and I wasn’t expecting that to happen so fast anyway, but it’s nice to see him a lot freer. Less weighed down by everything. I can’t wait until he finally moves past everything and becomes the ray of sunshine I know and love.

* * *

I was right, Flame’s lasagne was just as good as always; actually, it might have been better. It tasted fucking amazing. It’s just what I needed. Shadow devoured his portion too, which I’m happy to see. He didn’t eat much while I was in the hospital either. We both definitely needed a good meal.

With us both full and happy, we move to the living room. Shadow puts a movie quietly on the TV while I’m lying with my pillows surrounding me but my head in his lap looking at the ceiling. It might not be the smartest thing to do with my ribs, but I need his closeness. It’s also stupidly relaxing to just lie here with him running his hand through my hair. I’m not quite sure he realizes he’s doing it, but I’m not going to say anything just in case he stops.

“Maybe we should head to bed where you’ll be comfier.” He says breaking the comfortable silence we’ve been in.

“Yeah, I guess.” I reply as I sit myself up, trying not to wince in the process. “Is the guest room bed made up?”

He spins to look at me, “No, because you’re not sleeping in there. You’re sleeping in my bed next to me, so I know you’re safe. I’m not ready to be apart from you yet.”

Oh my silly fucking heart, saying things like that isn’t going to help me keep my feelings pushed to the back of my mind. See this is why it was so goddamn easy to fall in love with him without realizing it. He’s fucking amazing. I’m not going to complain about sharing a bed with him. I’m injured, not fucking stupid. I will never say no to sleeping next to the man I love more than life itself.