Shadow’s Heart (Devil’s Inferno MC #3)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Shadow

I t’s been a few days since we got home from the hospital, and that means I’ve had plenty of time to think about that brief kiss we shared. I say we shared, but really it was one-sided. I was the one doing the kissing. Wreck has no idea it even fucking happened. That’s not all though; I seem to be noticing things I never did before. Never once have I paid much attention to Wreck’s body, until now. Now I can’t seem to drag my eyes away from his ass or his bare chest when he’s without his top; for fuck sake, I keep catching myself staring at his forearms! I’ve never cared about someone’s forearms before, but now I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from his.

What is going on with me? I’m so damn confused. I feel like I need to speak to someone about everything I’m thinking and feeling, but who? It’s not like I know anyone who suddenly, at my age, realized they were attracted to their best friend. My brother and Flame don’t count; they were both very much aware of their attraction to one another before they finally acted on it.

My little crisis is going to have to wait for a little bit longer though, because for the first time since Wreck was found and rescued, I’m about to leave him. I’ve got to head to The Clubhouse for a meeting with Wrath that I apparently cannot miss. No matter how much I’ve tried to get out of it, my brother is adamant I’m needed. So Flame is currently here to hang out with Wreck, so he’s not alone while I’m gone. At least having Flame here with him gives me some peace of mind. I’m still really fucking worried about him. He’s acting like what happened hasn’t affected him at all, and that shit isn’t healthy. Before long, it’s all going to hit him like a tornado, and I do not want him alone when that happens.

After saying a quick goodbye, I head on over to The Clubhouse. I’m hoping whatever this meeting is about, it doesn’t take long. I’m not quite ready to spend long moments away from Wreck. I’m getting better, but I get really anxious when I can’t set my eyes on him when I need to. I learned that the second day he was home, and I needed to reassure myself that he was still here and couldn’t because he was showering. I came very close to having a panic attack, but thankfully Wreck came out of the bathroom just in time to prevent that.

Entering The Clubhouse, I’m greeted with shouts of hello from everyone present. This time of day, The Common Room is packed with members, from Whiskey and Joker chilling at the bar to Ink and Rock sitting with their heads together looking at a laptop screen. I don’t stop to talk to anyone though; I just wave my hand over my head as I carry on through the building towards Wrath’s office for whatever this meeting is.

Knocking on his door, I turn the handle and enter. I don’t wait for him to shout for me to come in; it’s not like I have to worry about walking in on him and Flame when I know Flame’s at my house. Now if I didn’t know where Flame is, it’d be a whole other story. I do not need to walk in on my twin getting it on with his husband. That’d be a sight I could never unsee. I shudder at the thought. Yeah, no, I don’t need to see my brother like that.

I’m surprised when I enter and see Wrath isn’t alone. Sitting in front of his desk is Jake. Okay, what the hell is this meeting about? Taking the other empty seat by Jake, I eye my brother. Trying to get a read on what’s going on. It’s not like I’ve got a chance though; he’s become an expert over the past five years since he’s been President at hiding what he’s thinking. It’s very rare that Wrath can’t hide what he’s thinking and feeling, and with the most recent crisis over, his poker face is well and truly back in place.

“So Jake, what did you need to talk to us about?” Wrath asks, voice serious.

I’m taken back by the fact this meeting wasn’t Wrath’s idea but Jake’s. I can’t help but wonder if this has anything to do with recent events. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course this has something to do with recent events.

“Two things, actually; the first is Megan. My Mom wanted me to let you know that once she is finished with Megan, she won’t be returning her to Devil’s Point. So you won’t have to worry about bumping into her. Megan will be informed of what a bad idea it is for her to try and contact you in any way as well. So hopefully that should mean the end of all issues she could pose.”

I hadn’t even thought about any of what he’s saying. I knew Megan was being dealt with, but I never thought about what came after, and maybe that’s an error on my part, but at least now I know I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I’ve been so focused on threats that could come here and now that I never thought about the future. Fuck, that wasn’t smart on my part at all. I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, I never want to see or speak to her again. If I never see her again in this lifetime, it’ll be too fucking soon. Letting her into my life was honestly the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. One that almost cost me the person I hold dearest. Yeah, it’ll be a cold day in hell before I’d ever want to see her again.

“The second thing is, well, my place here.” He starts saying, sounding nervous as fuck. “I wanted to offer to leave if my being here is a problem with the role my family played in what happened to Wreck.”

Yeah, no, he can stop that train of thought right now. Fuck if I want him even contemplating that shit. Not on my watch.

“No. I’ll stop you there, Jake. I don’t want you going fucking anywhere. You’re my fucking hero. Not only are you solely responsible for me getting my best friend back, you fucking took a bullet meant for another member. I’ll be fucking honored to call you a brother when, not if, you get your patch, because I honestly believe it’s only a matter of time.”

“I agree with you 100%, Shadow. We’re lucky to have you, Jake, and if anyone does give you a problem because of recent events, make sure you let one of us know, because neither of us is going to stand for that shit.”

Jake looks totally shocked at our words but quickly recovers and says, “I really don’t know what to say; part of me thought I’d have to leave. I’m relieved I don’t have to; I love being part of Devil’s Inferno; it just feels like this is where I’m meant to be, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Jake, and I agree this is exactly where you’re meant to be. Now if there’s nothing else, I’d like a few minutes alone with my brother.”

“Sure thing, Prez. Thank you for taking the time to speak to me. See you later, Shadow.”

Jake leaves Wrath’s office, looking a hell of a lot lighter than when I entered. I’m glad what we had to say helped him with whatever he was feeling. With his exit, I’m alone with my brother for the first time since everything came to light in Wreck’s hospital room. I can tell he’s studying me, but I don’t have a clue what he’s looking for.

“So how are you really doing?” He asks, looking a little worried.

I understand his worry; I know it couldn’t have been easy for him watching everything I went through. Especially when he personally has first-hand knowledge of going through something very similar.

“I’m okay; I’m so fucking thankful Wreck is back and healing.“

I scrub my hand down the back of my neck; maybe I should just talk to my brother about what’s going on in my head. If anyone can help me figure shit out, it’s probably going to be my twin.

“Talk to me, Shadow; there’s something bothering you.”

“Fuck. I don’t know; I’m so fucking confused right now.” I admit.

“About what?” He asks curiously.

“So the thing is, I may have sort of, kind of kissed Wreck on accident, and it’s fucking with my head.”

Wrath’s face is unreadable, and I hate it. Why does my brother have to be so good at hiding what he’s thinking and feeling? Can’t he for once just show me what he’s feeling when I need him too? This isn’t club business; he doesn’t need to keep his bloody poker face in place.

“Okay, why is it fucking with your head?” He asks, sounding so calm and collected. Like I didn’t just tell him his straight twin kissed his equally straight best friend.

“Because it was the briefest of fucking touches, and it felt so fucking right.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because he’s my best friend and we’re both straight!” I shout, finally having enough of how he’s treating this like it’s not a big deal.

“Shadow I love you, but you and Wreck are so fucking clueless.” He says, shaking his head at me. “Neither of you are straight, at least not where the other is concerned.” He says seriously.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I exclaim.

“Shadow, you and Wreck are in love with each other; you have been for years. Seriously, we all know it; we’ve just been waiting for you both to realize it.” He says, still keeping his cool even as he drops a massive fucking bomb on me.

My mouth drops open at his words; he can’t be serious, can he? There’s no way that’s true. Surely we’d both have realized if we were in love with each other. We’re just best friends that are really close, but if that’s the truth, then what I’ve been feeling these past few days doesn’t make sense. It only makes sense if what Wrath is saying holds a kernel of truth. Oh god, have I really been that blind?

“Just think about it and talk to Wreck. You deserve to be happy, even if it’s not in the way you originally imagined it would be.”

I have no idea what to even say to him right now, so I don’t even try. I just get up and leave Wrath’s office; I have a lot to think about. That’s for sure.