Shadow’s Sinner

Chapter Three

I hold my breath as I reach the street corner, swinging my head to the left and right before I jog across to the park. Travis stands there, his hands folded over his chest. My brows pull together as I come to a stop in front of him.

“Hi,” I rasp, breathing heavily just from that little exercise.

“Hi,” Travis says as he glances behind me. Peeking around, my heart drops for a moment thinking someone I know is there, but I don’t see anything.

“I got your message,” he finally says, holding out my bookbag from yesterday. Grabbing it from him, I loop my arm around the handle. I turn around, my eyes snapping to his as I nod.

“Yes,” I breathe out. “Uh, my parents, they’re sending me to some retreat, camp thing, it’s uh…this weekend.”

“What?” he snaps, frowning down at me as if I had any choice in the matter. News flash, I didn’t. I have to do every little thing my parents tell me, or I'll suffer the consequences. And that’s not something I ever enjoy doing.

“Yeah, they’re sending me and some girls from…well, I’m not sure where the girls are from, they didn’t…Dad never told me–”

“Stop fucking rambling and just get to the point,” he hisses.

I press my lips together, swallowing the lump in my throat. Travis has a temper, one that I try my very best not to invoke. He hates it when I ramble, when the thoughts in my head get stuck and I can’t figure out the right thing to say.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, just tell me where you are going?” he asks, grabbing my hand.

I mindlessly follow beside him.

“I’m not sure. They just said I was going on this trip. He said I was reaching a milestone.”

Travis doesn’t bother to say anything as he continues to pull me further into the park where the wooded area lies. I glance behind us, unsure why he felt the need to drag me here, but I don’t question him. I don’t want to anger him.

Once we step between the trees, Travis turns me around until my back hits a tree, the bark digging into my shoulder blade.

“What milestone?” he asks.

For some reason, I can’t look at him as I whisper, “My birthday…my eighteenth birthday.”

I never lied about my age to him. While I know it’s wrong to mess around with a boy, I also know it’s wrong that he is four years older than me. But that doesn’t matter, not to me. I want to feel normal, and seeing Travis is as normal as possible.

“Oh,” he mumbles, looking off into the distance again. “I almost forgot about your big day.”

I want to tell him there's nothing special about my birthday. I just have to get through this last little bit of high school before I can leave home. I want this town to be behind me and to never think about it again.

“I’m sad I’m not going to spend it with you,” he pouts. I tilt my head to the side, confused about why he would be upset about this. He never once asked about my birthday or told me he wanted to spend it together.

“We can celebrate it next weekend? I’m sure I can tell them I have some work I need to catch up on since I’ll be gone.” I shrug. I doubt they would believe me, but at least I can try.

“I’m not sure that’ll work either,” Travis says, leaning forward.

I frown up at him, my mouth opening to ask what he means when Travis rushes forward, slamming his lips against mine. I suck in a breath, confused about what he’s doing. My eyes widen, afraid to move.

“Kiss me back,” he growls against my lips.

I should want to kiss him, but something inside me refuses to let my lips move. I’m frozen against him, begging my body to move, to do anything. But I can’t.

“Jesus fuck, what is wrong with you?” Travis yells. He pulls back, grabbing my shoulder to shove me harder against the tree.

My body trembles as fear sinks into my spine, realizing I never should have followed him out here.

“I asked you a fucking question, Lakelyn.”

I shake my head, unable to speak. Even if my life depended on it, which this feels like it might be.

“What, you think you’re too good to kiss me? Is that it?”

Again, I shake my head. I don’t think that I’m too good. I can’t explain why I can’t move. I like Travis, I really do, but something deep down in my heart tells me he’s wrong, that this is wrong.

I’m too wrapped up in my head to realize what's happening until I hear the blow echo around the woods and feel the sting radiating through my cheek. Dad is the only man to ever hit me, and while I know it’s wrong, I’m shocked Travis has hit me.

My eyes widen as tears threaten to fall when I look up at Travis. I’m not sure why I expected him to be surprised by his actions, or at least sorry. But he just stands there, fuming and breathing heavily. His blond hair shifts in the wind, his brows pull together, and his muscular build suddenly no longer seems attractive to me.

“You’re worthless,” he spits. I bite my tongue to stop myself from crying. I won’t let him see me break, just like I won’t let my family. But his words sink deep, reminding me that I am nothing. I live in my younger sister's shadow, and my parents hate me, not that I don’t blame them. But now hearing those words from someone that I thought liked me hurt more than I care to admit.

“You’re not worth it,” he repeats, scoffing as he walks around the tree towards the park.

I blow out the breath I’ve been holding and swallow the fear down. I step away from the tree and watch him cross the park on shaky legs before climbing into his car. I wait until he drives off before finally allowing the first tear to fall.

I am worthless.

By the time I make it home, I can feel the bruise forming on my cheek. I know there’s no way around facing my parents, especially since I’m about to be stuck in a car with them.

Climbing the broken concrete staircase to the front door, I pull the single key out before sliding it into the lock. I push the door open, half expecting Lilianna to be standing there, ready to pounce, but the living room is empty. As quietly as I can, I shut the door and lock it. I don’t hear music playing in the kitchen like I usually do, and peeking down the small hallway, I see Dad’s office door open.

“Hello?” I called out, but no one answered, which is odd. One, if not both, of them, are always home. Mom and Dad believe we should never be left alone, so where would they have gone?

Biting my cheek, I tiptoe towards my room. The doors must remain open unless we’re sleeping, so I walk right into my room and glance around. Everything seems in place. Not that it wouldn’t be the first time the three of them have gone through my room. I never knew what they were searching for, and I never asked. It’s better not to ask.

I drop my bookbag by my desk before I start pulling out a few dresses. I’m unsure how Dad expects me to camp since I’ve never gone. And they don’t believe women should wear pants, so I don’t own any.

I shake my head and take a deep breath as I pull my undergarments out and rearrange my bag. I go across the hall and grab my toothbrush, hairbrush, and some toothpaste. By the time I’ve finished packing, the sound of the front door opening reaches my ears as I zip my bag up.

“Lakelyn!” Dad bellows.

I press my lips together, grab the bag, and walk out to the hallway. I reach the end of the hall to find Dad standing in the front doorway, already watching me.

“The girls are waiting, come on.” He motions for me to move.

I step forward, keeping my head down . Don’t look. Don’t notice, do–

“What’s this?” he hisses, grabbing my chin. Dad forces me to look at him and I know he’s not asking in a caring manner. He’s not asking because he’s my father and he wants to protect me.

“I tripped,” I lie. I’m a sinner.

“Lakelyn,” Dad says, raising one of his graying eyebrows.

“I did. I… I was so excited for this trip that I wasn’t paying attention to the steps. Right out and…and I just tripped. I tried to reach out, but my arms were caught with my bookbag. I–I’m sorry, I know it’s b–”

“You’re not lying to me are you?” he asks, dropping his hand from my face.

“No, sir,” I lie again.

“Fine.” I’m not sure if he believes me or not, but he drops the subject. “The girls and your mother are waiting. Let’s go,” he says, holding a hand out for me to walk before him.

I drop my head in shame. I’m a liar. I’ve sinned and now I’m going to be punished. But I deserve it. I’m worthless like Travis said. I’ve lied to my father about what happened.

I’m a sinner.