Shadow’s Sinner

Chapter Four

M y back hits the wall as I watch dark figures move into our home.

I hold my breath, praying Dad or Mom don’t see me hiding in the shadows.

I know I’m supposed to be asleep in my room, but I got thirsty and before I made it to the kitchen, I heard noises.

I couldn’t help myself, I had to see who was arriving so late at our house.

“Welcome, welcome,”

Dad boasts.

I’ve never heard him so happy, not even when Mom makes his favorite meal.

I heard some of them muttering under their breath, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

I’ve never seen these people here before; my parents don’t have many friends.

None that they speak of anyway.

It’s always just them, Lilianna, and me.

“The children are asleep, and Debbie is making a fresh pot of coffee and some tea for the others,”

Dad says, holding a hand out for them to follow to his office in the back of the house.

We’re not allowed to go into Dad’s office, not unless he summons us, and that only happens when we’re in trouble.

I tried to sneak in Dad’s office once and Mom barely stopped Dad from beating me to death with a belt.

I’m not sure why she stopped him when she’s always mad at me.

My gaze trails after the last dark figure who disappears into his office before the door closes.

I take a deep breath dropping the back of my head against the wall, remembering that I’m still thirsty when my body nearly goes into a coughing fit.

My eyes fly open as I hear footsteps coming closer, I lift my head up and swing my head around.

“Ah!”

I squeak as I come face to face–well face to stomach with one of the dark figures.

I lift my head up, waiting for him to say something to me but the man just stands there, most of his face hidden within the depths of his hood.

I can barely make out his hazel eyes in the darkness.

I press my lips together, terrified but also interested in who this man is and why he’s here in our hallway.

“Atticus, have you found the bathroom?”

Dad yells from his office.

I’m frozen as I stand there, unable to move and speak.

He’s going to tell my father I’m out here snooping, I can feel it.

My eyes widen as he bends down until we’re eye level.

Holding my breath I wait for the punishment to come.

“Little girls shouldn’t be out after dark,”

he whispers.

Tears well in my eyes, and swinging around I run to my room, slamming the door before I jump into my bed and under the covers…

I jerk awake as a car door slams.

I snap my eyes open as the girls begin to shuffle out of the van leaving me to scramble forward.

I nearly trip over the seat before I climb out and my feet land on the ground.

“This is it,”

Dad announces.

I watch him walk around to the back of the van and lift open the cargo area.

One by one all six of us girls grab our small duffle bag from him.

My heart races as I try to clear my head away from the memory of the hooded man so I can listen as Dad talks.

“The campsite is about two miles north.”

I peer around, wondering if any of the other girls are as confused as I am.

But when none of them even blink an eye, I cool my confusion.

“Here is a bag of non-perishable foods.

We’ll be back Sunday to collect you girls.”

Dad peers over us before he climbs back into the van, leaving us standing there.

It was so quick that I can barely process the fact my father just dropped me off in the middle of nowhere.

“Do any of you know each other?”

one of the blondes with green eyes asks, her eyes scanning around the area.

I shake my head following the rest of the girls.

“Okay, I’m Samantha,”

one of the other blondes whose ponytail is tied back too tight says rolling her eyes.

“Alicia,”

the short blonde who had asked if we knew each other says.

“Lacey.”

“Emma,”

the brunette girl says while raising her hand.

“Ashley.”

I bite my bottom lip self-consciously as their eyes all turn to me.

“Uh… Lakelyn,”

I mumble awkwardly, diverting my glance away in hopes they focus anywhere other than on me.

“Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let’s get moving.

I don’t want to be out here when it gets dark,”

Samantha says.

The girls all nod, agreeing with her.

My gaze shifts anxiously in the direction Dad and Mom drove off to.

Run.

The urgent unbidden thought flashes through my mind.

I press my lips together, realizing this is the first time besides prep school that I’ve been left alone.

Dad and Mom would have no idea where I went.

I could run away and make a whole new life for myself.

I haven’t finished high school, but I can work in a diner.

I’m eighteen as of midnight, tonight.

They would have no idea where to look for me. I could be free.

“Lake, you coming?”

Emma, I think her name was, calls out.

I swing my head around finding that most of the girls have already disappeared into the woods, while I’ve stood here dreaming of running away.

I bite my tongue to tell her not to call me that, giving the road one more glance before hiking my duffle bag up high on my shoulder.

“Yeah,”

I whisper.

I might dream about running away but there’s no way I would make it out there on my own.

I’m scared of my own shadow, and with the memory of those dark hooded figures fourteen years ago fresh in my mind, I don’t want to be alone.

I seriously need to be more active.

By the time we reach the campground I am sweating in areas I didn’t know were possible.

I’m running out of air and wheezing so loud the other girls are giving me disgusted looks, not that I blame them.

While I’m dressed like I was going to church, they all look comfortable in jeans and t-shirts.

Where did Dad even find these girls? He had said the church was bringing them in, but why aren't they dressed like me.

We couldn’t be further than different from each other.

“I swear if she doesn’t shut up I’m going to make her,”

Lacey mutters to Samantha.

I hold my breath, trying my best to stop myself from breathing so heavily but it’s useless.

I’m dying.

Samatha looks up, rolling her eyes as she sees I’m already watching her.

It didn’t take long for the five of them to realize I was the weak link.

I was the last one to start heading to camp and the last to arrive.

“Looks like we’re going to have to triple in the tents, they only gave us two.”

Ashley tsks, tossing one of the tents to Lacey.

“Samantha you can share with me,”

Alicia announces.

And just like a match to straw, they all call each other’s names out.

“Emma,”

Samantha is quick to follow.

Leaving Lacey and Ashley looking at me like I’ve just peed in their cereal.

I blow out a pained breath, not thrilled with the choice either.

One by one, we each slowly started to put our tents up.

I mindlessly follow Lacey, unable to focus on joining in with them as they get better acquainted.

All I can think about is those hazel eyes and that dark hooded man from my dream.

He haunted me for weeks after the hallway incident, and I assumed he hadn’t told my father about it since Dad never punished me.

“Why are you wearing a dress?”

someone asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I stand up and glance behind me to see who it is.

Samantha stands there with her hands on her hips.

Alicia looks up from her tent, watching, while Emma and Ashley stand off to the side, peeking over as if they’re not eavesdropping.

“That's all I have,”

I finally answer.

I run my sweaty palms down my dress, trying to smooth it out.

If I had to choose, I would love to try wearing pants, just once.

But we were taught good religious girls wear dresses while whores and such wear pants.

“You’re telling me all you own–all you have in that bag—are dresses?”

Lacey points to the bag near my feet.

I glance down, my foot kicking the thing behind me.

“Yes…”

I timidly say.

“What the fuck?”

Ashley laughs.

I flinch at her words.

“That’s weird.”

Alicia chuckles under her breath.

"Why…Shouldn't you all be wearing dresses as well?" I ask.

I list my fingers together, trying to distract myself from their scowls.

"I mean, from the church, all girls—all women are meant to wear dresses or skirts."

"I'm not from whatever church you're talking about," Emma chuckles.

My eyes scan over them, one by one, as they all look at me with a cruel smile like I had grown two heads.

If they're not from the church, then where are they from? I was stupid to think this trip might have been good.

I was growing excited to get out of that house to finally talk to someone other than the girls at my prep school.

I wanted to get away from Lilianna, but I was wrong.

They’re all like her.

I’m always going to be the odd one out.

I take a deep breath, my nails dig into my palms, and my heart speeds up.

“Fucking freak,”

one of them mutters.

Bile rises in my throat, fear seeping into my chest.

Refusing to let them see me break, I bend down, yank my bag up, and hike it onto my shoulder.

Mumbling that I have to pee, I take off into the woods.

The bile rises higher in my throat, and I’m barely able to swallow it down before my knees buckle.

Dry heaving, back hunched, I plunge a finger down my burning throat, hitting the uvula and causing my eyes to water.

But nothing comes up.

My hands drop to the ground, tears leaking down my cheeks.

I shake my head, and using my finger, I shove it back into my throat, further down than I’ve done before, until vomit spews out of my mouth and all over my fingers, purging everything in my stomach, acid coating my tongue.

I gag, feeling something stuck in the back of my throat.

I slam my fist down on the ground, feeling my body grow weaker as more vomit spills from my lips, but I can’t stop.

“You’re a freak!”

“Ugly bitch!”

“You’re fucking stupid.”

All the words that the girls tell me every day at school.

The times I came home hating myself just to have Lilianna tell me how much Mom and Dad wished I was never born.

A branch snaps somewhere nearby.

My head snaps up, vomit stuck to my bottom lip.

I scan the area but see nothing other than trees and bugs flying around.

“Lake!”

Lacey yells behind me.

I glance over my shoulder and squint my eyes.

I see her further in the distance, cupping her mouth as she yells my name again.

My hands shake as I realize I just made myself throw up and I can’t exactly explain that.

I unzip my duffle bag, pulling out a pair of underwear to wipe my hands and lips.

Digging further down I pull out my toothbrush and toothpaste.

As quickly as I can, I brush my teeth in record time, tossing my dirty underwear into the bushes.

“Lakelyn!”

Lacey screams again.

I shove my toothpaste and brush inside my bag before I get to my feet, my knees weak.

I turn around and start walking towards her.

“Fuck,”

she hisses once I come into view.

“Can you not be stupid?”

I hold my breath, my body frozen as she glares at me.

“Let’s go, we’re going to eat something and make a fire.”

She rolls her eyes and turns.

Following behind her, neither of us says anything as we reach camp.

The girls are piled around a small hole in the ground with some firewood.

“I have to pee,”

Samantha announces, getting to her feet.

“Oh, look, the freak is back.”

She walks around Lacey and I, her shoulder bumping into mine as she passes.

I bite my tongue, refusing to feed into her pettiness.

Maybe a bear will eat her.

As soon as the thought enters my head, I want to take it back.

She might be mean, but that doesn’t mean I need to be as well.

I can be the bigger person.

“Which one is ours?”

I ask, forgetting since they all look the same.

Lacey points to the furthest one.

“Thank you.”

I sigh.

I leave them behind and unzip the tent before climbing inside.

Turning, I close it back up and turn around to find Lacey’s and Ashley’s bedding made up basically side by side.

They barely left me room to stretch out.

It’s a tiny cubby that I’ll have to try and fit in.

I take a deep breath and slide over to the duffle bag seated by the sleeping bag.

I swallow the lump in my throat and begin rolling the bed out.

I glance over at their bed repeatedly, mimicking what they had done.

I still don’t understand why Dad thought me camping on my birthday was a good idea.

But it also beats being at home, walking on eggshells, holding my breath because if I sighed too heavy it would give them a reason to hit me.

So much for having a good eighteenth birthday.

“Samantha!”

comes a jarring scream.

It sounds like Emma, followed by similar urgent calls from the others breaking the eerie night silence of the forest.

Dropping my small pillow, I rush over to the tent door and begin struggling with the zipper for a second before finally pulling it open and scrambling out.

“What’s wrong?”

I breathe out.

Lacey is the only one who turns around, something like terror passing over her before she says the words no one ever wants to hear, especially in the middle of the woods.

“Samantha’s gone.”