Shameless (Made For Them #3)

18. Jenna

Jules

M aybe I should have gotten a sitter and sat down with Jenna for an earlier dinner. I just wanted to have dinner with her and see the fireworks, I’ve missed her so much during the weeks my ex kept me from seeing her.

My daughter is obviously tired but she was absolutely fine until I put her in the dress Jasmine insisted on.

What was meant as a gesture of goodwill, as a way to try and keep the peace backfired spectacularly.

I’m not going to yell at Jenna or spank her, like Jaz and Tiffany think I should do.

While we need to offer guidance and teach our kids right and wrong, I think children should be heard.

I’ve felt the fabric of Jenna’s dress and it’s scratchy as hell. To be honest, I don’t blame her for being in a terrible mood.

“Munchkin,” I murmur as gently as I can. “Let’s show Mommy and Grams what a good girl you are. I know you’re disappointed but I promise we’re going to have a delicious dinner and the fireworks are going to be beautiful. Can you do that for Daddy?”

Jenna is a lot calmer than a moment ago. She isn’t crying anymore but she still looks forlorn, tears clinging to her dark lashes. “Daddy,” she says softly. “I want to swim.”

“I know, but?—”

Help comes from Crew.

Again. I don’t know if he’s trying harder to be tolerable because of Lula, or if he’s always been almost alright and I never really gave him a chance.

“Jenna, can you do me a favor? I need someone to take care of Napoleon during dinner. I’ve heard the chef made a ton of fries for you and Naps loves fries. Would you mind sharing them with him? He could sit on your lap, if it’s ok.”

My daughter’s eyes light up as she nods solemnly. “Yes. Naps is pretty.”

Crew lifts Napoleon closer to Jenna and the dog licks her cheek, causing her to smile for the first time since we went to change for dinner.

I’ll be damned, but that mutt is growing on me too.

As we take our seats for dinner, Mom arranges a chair with three pillows on it to boost Jenna so she can reach the table.

“Apologies but we have more young children than expected and we don’t have enough high chairs. Jenna is tall for her age, so I thought she would sit in the grown up chair with Napoleon.”

Jenna nods, pleased that she’s being treated like a grownup. “Naps,” she says, petting Crew’s dog. “You swim?”

Crew answers the question on behalf of the tiny pooch. “He’s a very good swimmer actually. If tomorrow the weather is nice, we could all go swimming together, what do you say?”

Jenna is delighted by Crew’s idea. “Yes, I swim with Naps.”

If I wasn’t relived that the crisis has passed, I would probably be a little jealous that Crew is having more success than I did in soothing my daughter.

But I’m mostly grateful that he cares enough and he and Napoleon have put a smile on Jenna’s face.

So grateful that I don’t let the fact that Crew sits on the other side of Lula bother me like it usually would.

As it is, the food is lovely and I’m sitting between Jenna and Lula with Mom just across to complete the trifecta of the women I love the most in the world.

Jenna is so taken by feeding Napoleon, that she’s in her own bubble, whispering to the tiny dog while they share a cheeseburger and fries.

Satisfied that my daughter is content, I turn my attention to the conversation at the table.

“I can’t wait to go back East,” Tiffany’s tone is as vitriolic as ever. “I get it that my husband has an important campaign to win, but I wish he had insisted on taking us with him. Especially Evan. He wouldn’t dare hook up with that white trash in front of his father.”

Her eyes drift behind me where I know Evan and Jasmine are dining at a table for two.

“Seriously Jules,” Lula’s mother continues. “With all the nice girls in town, couldn’t you have knocked up someone that wasn’t complete white trash?”

If this isn’t the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is.

I could say that Tom and I have made the same mistake, but I decide not to antagonize Tiffany after all.

I’ve known the woman my whole life and believe it or not, this is her being nice. Tiffany’s ugly side would result in the kind of scene that would get people banned from the club for life.

I don’t want Mom to have to explain why she isn’t treating her former best friend like she would any other guest, so I keep my mouth shut.

It’s more than obvious that she invited Tiffany to dinner for Lula’s sake, as an attempt to mend a bridge that was burned to smithereens when she and Tom got together.

“I told you so many times to keep Jules away from her three years ago,” Tiffany turns to Mom. “You should have listened. Oh wait, you were too busy screwing my husband behind my back to keep your children in line.”

Tom clears his throat. “Tiff, I thought we talked about this. This isn’t the place or the time to rehash the past. Let’s try to be civil to each other since you’re stuck in Star Cove until the sheriff is satisfied that you can leave the state.”

Oblivious to what her ex-husband just said, Tiffany looks at Lula. “I hope you realize that if you want to be with Jules, he has all this baggage that will never go away. It’s self-inflicted too, since his ex wanted sole custody. Believe me, children are enough of a pain in the ass when they’re your own. Taking on someone else’s is stupid. God knows if I went back, you wouldn’t even be here. Run before it’s too late or you’re gonna be stuck being a stepmother to that little brat.”

That’s it.

I can’t bite my tongue for one more second. “Tiffany, that’s enough.”

I’m prepared for more unpleasantness, but Tom intervenes before I can speak my mind.

“What do you mean a stepmom? You got it all wrong, Tiff. Lula is with Stefan.”

Tiffany’s laugh is so loud that it causes several people at other tables to look at us. “Ah, Tom. I’ve always known that Arianna must have been the one who made a move on you. There’s no way you’d have been able to keep your tryst a secret. You wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re so oblivious to anything that’s really going on around you, it’s painful.”

Tom’s brows crease as he looks at his ex-wife. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t believe Talulah has been living under your roof for weeks and you haven’t noticed that she’s involved with all of the three young men at this table.”

Fuck.

I was planning to talk to Tom about my feelings for Lula and I knew he would probably have questions about her and Stefan. This was the last way I wanted him to learn about us and Lula. And I admit that I was totally burying my head in the sand about Crew.

There isn’t any hiding from it now and after this afternoon, I know that getting Lula to choose me over Crew, might be just as hard as getting her to break up with Stefan.

A part of me wants Lula to myself, but an even bigger part of me knows that, at least for now, I need Stefan and Crew to keep my girl safe. At least until Evan goes back to whatever hell he came from and until we’re sure that Morelli will really stay away from her.

There’s also a murderer on the loose and we have no way to know if Eddie, Trevor and Maura were their only targets.

Lula and I stumbled on the massacre minutes after it happened, Rikki got there while the shooter was still around.

What if whoever did it thinks we know something and comes after us? Lula is safer with the three of us looking out for her. We’ll figure out the rest later.

But how do we explain this complicated relationship to our parents?

“Lula? Guys?” Tom’s expression darkens with every passing second. “Anyone care to explain what’s going on?”

“Dad, I?—”

I cover Lula’s hand with mine. “We were going to talk to you about this, Tom. I love your daughter with all my heart, I always have since I can remember.”

Stefan nods. “Me too. I told you I’d do anything for Lula. I love her so damn much. I always have and I always will.”

Crew joins in and it doesn’t even annoy me as much as it would have a few days ago. Whether I like it or not, he’s a part of our family.

“I’m in love with Lula too. I haven’t known her my whole life like Stefan and Jules, but I know she’s the one. I’ve never felt this way for anyone else before.”

Tom runs a hand over his face. “So you’re all what? Dating?”

I take the lead. I don’t think Tom should hear about Lula’s champagne fueled nights with Stefan and Crew.

“We’re figuring things out, Tom.”

He levels me with a hard look and I don’t blame him. I would do the same with anyone who wanted to date Jenna.

“I don’t think this is something I can get behind. I’m just looking out for Lula here. She’s here to get clean and stay out of trouble. It is one thing if she was dating Stefan, but all three of you?”

Lula shakes her head. “Dad?—”

“Lula, I’m not trying to judge you,” Tom says. “But you struggled with addiction. I’m worried you might be trading one addiction for another.”

I’m proud of Lula for remaining calm. “Thank you for worrying about me, Dad. But I promise this isn’t what this is about. I’ve loved Stefan and Jules since before I even knew how to talk or walk. And Crew… he’s helped me when things got tough and I was tempted to relapse.”

Tom doesn’t look convinced. “That’s all very fine and dandy, but what happens when one of them hurts you? Are you going to start using again to cope?”

Fuck.

Tom’s question is absolutely warranted and guilt floods me at the realization that I hurt Lula when this thing between us started. Granted, I broke things off with her to protect her from Jasmine’s jealousy, but I hurt her nonetheless.

The only reason why Lula didn’t relapse is that Crew—and Stefan once they made up—were there for her.

Would I be an asshole if one day I asked her to choose? I want to believe that I’d be able to protect Lula’s heart even without my brothers in the picture but that isn’t the only problem. Lula is in love with all of us and by asking her to choose, I would be hurting her in one way.

I’d also be hurting Stefan and Crew.

“Tom, I can’t predict what the future holds. All I know is that I love Lula. We all love your daughter and we would never hurt her. Not intentionally at least. Lula has the power in this relationship. Her happiness is our priority, everything else can be figured out as we go along.”

Tom isn’t totally sold despite our reassurance and I can’t blame him. He wants to protect his daughter. Our jobs will be to show him that we mean what we say with our actions.

“This conversation isn’t over,” he bites out, glaring at me, Stefan and Crew. “We’ll talk seriously about this in private.”

Mom intervenes, covering her husband’s hand with hers in a soothing way. “You’re right that this isn’t the time or place. But I think Lula could have done much worse than our boys. I always knew that she would end up with Stefan or Jules. And Crew is such a wonderful young man too. I’m glad that despite our mistakes, the guys have found one another and that they care about Lula. I’m confident they’ll find a way to be happy.”

Tilly backs her up. “I agree with Arianna. I can see how happy Crew is since he met Lula and he got to know his brothers better. We should have faith that they’ll figure out a way to be happy, whether it’s what we expected or not.”

I smile at her, grateful for her vote of confidence. I can see why, despite the odd way they met, Mom and Tilly have kept a close friendship rather than being at odds with each other.

If they could be friends despite Eddie’s shitty behavior, you can give Crew a chance.

“Gah,” Tiffany shakes her head, vaguely disgusted. “I don’t get how you two can be friends when you shared the same husband for years without knowing. Wait, is that what you thought would happen between us and Tom, Arianna? There must be something in the water here in California, you people are insane.”

Mom tries to explain. “It wasn’t our fault that Eddie was lying to both of us. As for me and Tom, you know better than me that I had a crush on him the second we met him in college. We would have dated if you hadn’t gotten between us?—”

She interrupts herself when a waiter comes to clear the plates of the main course.

“Is your granddaughter done with her meal, ma’am?” the guy asks.

Jenna’s chair is empty. How long has she been gone?

I was so distracted by the conversation at the table, that I didn’t see her get up.

“Jenna?” I call, looking around. “Jenna, where are you?”

Mom turns around to check, if by any chance, she went to the table where Jasmine and Evan are having dinner.

Where the fuck is my daughter? “Jenna?” I call again, rising from my chair.

Crew stands up too, lifting the tablecloth. “She had Napoleon on her lap. He loves to look for crumbs under the table, maybe they’re hiding. Ok, no. They aren’t there.”

Tom tries to be the voice of reason. “She was here a minute ago. She can’t have gone far, right? Maybe she’s at another table, she was playing with some other kids in the bouncy castle.”

We all leave the table to see if Tom is right—except for Tiffany, who keeps sipping on her vodka soda without a care in the world—but my daughter is nowhere to be found.

“Maybe she’s gone to the restroom? Earlier on she was so proud of showing me how she can go on her own.” Mom suggests.

After a quick check however, we establish that Jenna didn’t go to the toilet.

“Where can she be?”

A horrible realization hits me and Lula at the same time.

“She kept crying that she wanted to go swimming. What if?—”

Terror grips my insides. “She doesn’t know how to swim without a flotation device or a life jacket.”

Crew clasps my shoulder. “Napoleon can swim, but he hates the water. If he’s with her, hopefully he’ll do what he’s always done every time I took him to the beach with me. He usually barks up a storm because he doesn’t want to go in the water.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Fuck, I hope so. The sea was still choppy when we were changing for dinner. If she went into the water…” I can’t even finish that sentence.

Crew nods, his expression as tense as mine. “Let’s go look for her.”

“We should split up to cover more ground,” Lula suggests. “There are a few places she could be at if she’s trying to go into the water.”

Tom takes control of the situation. “I’ll alert the staff. There should be people setting up chairs and loungers for the fireworks. Maybe one of them has seen her. Hopefully someone stopped her.”

Stefan agrees. “True. She could have gone to the pool too. We should check there just in case.”

My relationship with Jasmine didn’t work for many reasons. Finding her in bed with another guy was just the tip of the iceberg.

“I can’t believe you fucking lost our daughter. You had one job?—”

I feel guilty enough without my ex’s accusations. The fact that she isn’t exactly “Mother of the Year” material does nothing to make me feel better. “You were one table away and you didn’t notice that she slipped away.” I argue. “We can hash this out later, Jaz. Rather than wasting your breath to blame me, help me find Jenna.”

Lula

“Jenna, Jenna!”

We all run in every direction, looking for Jules’s daughter and Napoleon.

Stefan is right that they should check the pool and the bouncy castle and all the places that could attract an almost three-year-old. I haven’t been around a lot of small kids, but I noticed today how fickle their attention span can be, so it’s better not to leave any stone unturned.

“Jenna, Napoleon!” Crew isn’t far behind me. “We should check around the changing huts too. I’ve seen a lot of kids playing hide and seek around here.”

It’s way more crowded than on a regular night with the club opening the beach area to the public for the firework show.

My hope is that someone will have seen a three-year-old girl walking around by herself and will have stopped Jenna.

I jog down the beach, stopping to ask here and there when I see people with kids in tow.

I’m at the end of the stretch of beach that belongs to the club and there’s no sign of Jenna and Napoleon.

If she’s gone into the water… I don’t even want to think about that possibility.

The docks are at the end of the club’s premises and while there are chairs set up on a part of the high concrete platforms that run way into the sea, the spot by the boathouses is deserted.

There’s also less light around here, the eco illumination barely cuts into the dark, choppy sea water.

I shudder at the idea of how cold it must be in the water. The strong breeze that made the lifeguards raise a red flag, has also caused the temperature to drop considerably and goosebumps scatter down my arms as I run along the dock.

If I were Jenna, would I come all the way here?

On one hand the sea here doesn’t look as inviting as by the beach, but it’s also dark, so Jenna wouldn’t see that the water here looks darker and almost oily as it hits the concrete of the docks.

Jenna knew the adults didn’t want her to go swimming, so it kind of makes sense that she would try to go where there’s less people around.

I turn on the flashlight on my phone to help me see the water. Jenna was wearing a white dress, so if she went into the sea, I should be able to spot the white in the darkness.

“Jenna! Napoleon!”

I hear footsteps behind me. Maybe it’s Crew or Stefan to tell me what they found Jenna safe and sound.

My muscles freeze and the little hairs on my arms stand at attention when I spot the person who’s almost caught up with me.

Evan.

“Finally alone, Lula.” He grabs my bicep before I can jump out of the way. “It’s become almost impossible to get some private time with you with all those guys around.”

I shove, fighting to escape his viselike grip. “Let go of me, Evan.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Why would I do that? Let’s find a place where you and I can be alone. I’ve been waiting for years to fuck you and finally, I get my wish.”

He practically lifts me off the ground even though I’m kicking and screaming. Evan isn’t as fit as Stefan, but he’s tall and beefy and there’s no way I can overpower him.

“Where are you taking me?” I cry, as he rounds the corner of the boathouse I was in earlier with Jules.

“In here no one will disturb us.” He grins, opening the door.

I don’t understand. Jules locked it when we left earlier, how can it be unlocked?

I have no time to dwell on that, as Evan closes the door behind him and the lights turn on above us.

There must be motion sensors, it’s the only explanation.

It doesn’t matter now, as Evan pushes me down and straddles me.

He lowers his head, but I turn mine to the side when I realize that he wants to kiss me.

Evan licks the side of my face and I shudder, feeling bile rising from my stomach. His tongue is thick and wet, sloppy as it goes from my temple to the base of my neck.

“Hmm, you’re delicious. And so fucking pretty.” His fingers close around my throat, and it’s different than having Jules’s fingers there. Where Jules was gentle, Evan is pinning me to the ground as his other hand descends to my chest.

“You have very nice tits, sis.”

I cry out when he squeezes my breast so hard that it hurts like hell. “Please, Evan, no.” I sob, wheezing as my struggling cause him to press on my windpipe.

His smile widens, his eyes dark, bottomless pits. “All I hear is yes. I know you’re doing this because you know I like it when you struggle. I was considering giving you a roofie, like I used to do with girls at school, but it ruins the experience if you can’t react. This is what has always made you different than any other girl, Lula. The way you fight me is everything. It makes me so fucking hard. There was no way I was gonna drug you and miss out on your cute little screams.”

He grinds his hips against me, his erection as hard as steel against my core.

Tears flow down my face when my body reacts with a jolt of sensation. I don’t want this and the feeling is an odd mixture of fear and the natural reaction of my nerve endings being stimulated.

It feels oddly like pleasure but there’s no pleasure in it, no desire.

I can’t escape his grip, so I go still.

Evan just said he enjoys it when I fight him. Maybe if I stop, he will too.

“What’s wrong with you?” he grunts, fumbling with his belt and using his weight to keep me pinned to the ground. “Why did you stop fighting?”

I blink, my eyes are so full of tears I can barely see. Good. I don’t want to look at him.

“Look at me, slut!” Evan yells, abandoning his belt and doubling his hold on my throat. “I know you’re just pretending you don’t want me. We’ve been playing this game since the day your mother brought you home. You were flirting with me and when I came to your room to cash in on all the promises in those pretty eyes of yours, you started to play hard to get. You even sent your boarding school friend to beat me up. I knew it was just a game. You wanted to make me work for it.”

I attempt to shake my head, but I can’t move with Evan’s hands around my neck. I have to use all my energy to keep breathing through his chokehold and with his weight on me.

“The game is over, Lula. It ends tonight. I’m going to fuck you in every single hole. So that every time one of your boyfriends touches you, you’ll remember who you really belong to.”

I close my eyes again. Maybe if I’m lucky enough, Evan will keep pressing on my throat and he’ll kill me before he gets to do what he’s planning.

“I SAID LOOK AT ME!”

His open palm comes down on my face and I feel nothing. The only reason why I know he hit me is the deafening noise his hand produces when he slaps me. I hear it louder than thunder, even above my labored breathing, and the roaring sound of my heart beating in my ears.

I hear it again and again, but maybe this isn’t Evan. It might be the fireworks outside.

“You fucking slut, look at me. You’re making me go soft and I have to take you now. I have to do it before my lawyer gives me that written agreement your boyfriends insisted on. Then I have to stay away from you and I’m someone who always keeps his word.”

Evan shifts his weight and lets go of my throat to grab my wrists. “Come on, slut, do something. Fight me or help me get hard again, so we can finish this once and for all.”

I keep my eyes closed but I can’t help the smile I feel forming on my lips. My plan worked. Evan is a monster and his obsession with me is fueled by my resistance. The second I stopped fighting him, the wind got taken out of his sails. Or more accurately, his blood migrated away from his cock.

A few moments later, his weight is completely gone and I open my eyes.

Evan is crouching at my feet, with his fly open, furiously slapping his flaccid dick. “Come on! We have to fuck her now. Our fucking honor depends on it.”

I know I should get away from him, run like the wind. I should find a crowded place where I’d be safe from Tiffany’s stepson.

I just need one more second to catch my breath. One more second.

If only my lungs would fill with air and my head stopped throbbing, then I could move.

Maybe if I lie on my side in the recovery position, that’ll help.

A ferocious growl, louder than my heartbeat forces me to open my eyes.

Am I hallucinating or did Napoleon just bite Evan’s balls?

My attacker is now laying on his side, the same way I was just a second ago, cupping his balls with both hands and screaming in pain.

“Naps,” I call Crew’s dog, managing to get up to my knees. “What are you doing here?”

Napoleon is barking furiously at me rather than at Evan. He keeps turning toward the spot where the boathouse door is slight ajar.

I shake my head, to dispel the fog that must be caused by the lack of oxygen in my system.

Woof, woof .

Again, Napoleon barks and looks at the door.

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

Woof, woof .

“Do you want me to follow you outside?” Then I remember. “Jenna! Are you trying to take me to Jenna?”

Woof, woof .

Napoleon looks distressed, almost frantic. Jenna must be in trouble.

I don’t know how I do it, but I scramble onto my feet, inhaling sharply when my ears ring so loud that I can’t hear the fireworks outside.

I stumble past Evan. His eyes are fixed on me and the fucker has the gall to ask for my help.

“Lula…”

I turn around, still unsteady on my feet and walk toward him. “Did Napoleon hurt you?” I ask. “Let me see.”

He falls for it, I can’t believe it. He takes his hands away from his balls and that’s when I strike.

I rear my foot back as much as possible and kick him as hard as I can.

His scream is deafening and if I wasn’t worried about Jenna, I’d stay and take another shot at his junk. Just to make sure he isn’t going to try anything like what he just did to me with someone else any time soon.

I throw one last glance at Evan and I can’t help but smile at the thought that Stefan would be proud of me. We spent countless summers kicking a soccer ball at a small goal in his backyard and he taught me how to kick a penalty.

Woof .

Napoleon is waiting for me by the boathouse door and I follow him outside into the night.

The little pooch runs along the dock and I struggle to keep up at first. His pointy ears are folded backwards, giving him an aerodynamic look, as if Naps was trying to go as fast as he possibly can.

He stops suddenly and sits by the edge of the high concrete deck, looking down and barking in alarm.

My heart stops when I reach him.

The first thing I spot is the white fabric of Jenna’s dress. Then I see the blood. A lot of it.

I don’t understand until I spot an old, rusty anchor by her side, there’s blood on that too.

I cover my mouth with my hands, trying to keep the tears that are welling in my eyes from blurring my vision.

All I can think is that Jenna must have wanted to get into the water and fell down from the dock to the small lip of concrete at the end.

The wind has died down luckily, or the waves might have reached her.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so panicked, I can’t think straight. Do I leave Napoleon here with Jenna and run to get help, or do I go check on Jules’s daughter and send Napoleon to alert someone?

I decide I need to see if Jenna is breathing. If she isn’t, CPR might make the difference between life and death.

“Napoleon,” I say, picking up the chihuahua and looking into his brown eyes. “Go find help. I need to check on Jenna.”

He takes off at lightning speed the second I set him down.

The dock is high and it’s quite a jump to the small concrete step Jenna fell onto.

I close my eyes. There’s no way I’m going to land safely on the high heels I decided to pair with my dress.

The concrete feels rough under my bare feet, but I feel steadier now.

“Hopefully I don’t break something and add another medical emergency to this shit storm.” I say to no one, just to hype myself up for the jump.

Every second could be critical for Jenna now, so I close my eyes and jump.

The impact with the concrete is hard and I hit the ground with my feet but immediately stumble. My hands shoot forward to protect my face and the pain is searing.

I don’t even need to look to know that my hands are scraped and my knees probably got the worst of my fall.

There’s no time to worry about a cut or two though, I need to check on Jenna.

At a first look, the toddler’s small body looks still. I can’t spot any chest movement. Jenna is lying on her side and moving her onto her back would help me assess her breathing, but I don’t think I want to do that. If she had a spinal injury, moving her would make things worse.

I lean down to listen for breathing. It’s faint and shallow, but when a little warm puff hits my cheek, the tears I’ve been keeping at bay break the floodgates.

“Thank God,” I murmur, but I know the situation isn’t good. There’s a lot of blood and we need help fast.

I wish I had my phone to call 911, but I must have dropped it when Evan jumped me. If Napoleon doesn’t come back soon, I might need to climb back up to the dock and get back inside the boathouse to look for it.

If jumping down was hard, climbing back up is going to be next to impossible. I don’t know what this small platform is for, but whoever designed it, didn’t intend for anyone to be down here.

The stress must be fucking with me, because a second later I notice a couple of steps carved into the concrete a few feet away from me.

I don’t want to leave Jenna, but I might need to go look for my phone. Hopefully Evan isn’t still in there or I might be in a lot of trouble.

“What’s going on, Naps, is it Jenna?”

I’ve never been so happy to hear Crew’s voice. “Crew!” I call, glad that there’s a pause on the fireworks.

“Lula? What are you doing—holy fuck. Is that your blood or Jenna’s?” he stops at the edge of the spot where I jumped.

“Not mine. Crew, call 911.”

“On it.”

As I hear Crew talking to the operator, I brush Jenna’s hair away from her forehead as gently as I can. “Hold on munchkin, help will be here soon.”