Shameless (Made For Them #3)

19. Braving The Storm

Jules

Star Cove Memorial Hospital

I can’t even remember the short ambulance ride here.

All I know is that the paramedics were working on Jenna the entire time. I played football with one of them, and I almost punched the fucker when they took my daughter into the ER and he kept me from following her into the treatment bay.

“That’s my little girl,” I yell. “I’m not leaving her.”

The paramedic, Greg I think is his name, doesn’t budge but his tone is sympathetic when he explains. “Let the doctors do their work. You going in there isn’t going to help Jenna. You’re only going to be in the way.”

I know he’s right but I feel so powerless. I need to be with her. “What if she—” tears make it impossible to finish the sentence.

What if she regains consciousness and I’m not there?

What if she dies and I’m not there?

“Someone will give you an update as soon as they can. All you can do is wait.”

I nod. “I know. I’m sorry, I just?—”

He claps my shoulder, the sympathy in his eyes is the scariest thing. He doesn’t say that Jenna will be ok. “She lost a lot of blood. She was lucky the cut was just near an artery. A fraction of an inch to the left, and it would have been a different story.”

It’s all my fucking fault. I got distracted at dinner and didn’t notice when she slipped out.

The doors of the waiting room open and the first person I see is Crew, followed by Lula and Stefan.

If anyone had told me that I would have ever been relieved to see Crew James, I would have asked them what the fuck they had been smoking, but here we are.

“How is she?” his tone is kind.

My first instinct is to lash out. Why is he being so nice? Does he think Jenna isn’t going to make it?

Thank fuck I manage to bite my tongue before I can say something I’m going to regret.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. The paramedic was here a second ago. They said she lost a lot of blood. They took her into there and I don’t know how long it’s been. No one will tell me anything. I?—”

Lula has one of those thermal blankets the paramedics keep in their kits wrapped around her shoulders. Her arms surround my waist, her head against my chest.

I bury my face in her soft, dark hair.

She doesn’t say anything, but just her presence gives me comfort.

“Jules, baby.” Mom, Tom and Tilly arrive shortly after. “How’s our baby girl?”

I nod in the direction of the double doors that keep people out of the treatment area. “Where’s Jasmine?” I ask.

“We put her in a cab. She should get here soon. She didn’t want to ride with us.”

A sigh escapes my lips. Jasmine has always thought that Mom doesn’t like her. She isn’t wrong, but this was hardly the time to argue.

The realization hits me that my feelings for Lula, Jasmine’s inability to be faithful and her disinterest in being a mom to our daughter were the tip of the iceberg of why our relationship was doomed. Even if I had been head over heels for my ex, she’s too self-centered to care for anyone other than herself. She’s too selfish to put our daughter’s wellbeing first even in an emergency.

A doctor comes out from the doors I just pointed out to Mom.

“Jenna Cutler?”

Lula tries to let me go, but I drag her with me. If the doctor is here to deliver bad news, I need her close.

“I’m her father. Doctor, how is she?”

The doctor is a thin, dark haired woman, probably in her thirties. Her brown eyes soften. “We’re doing all we can, but she isn’t out of the woods yet. Jenna has a concussion and she needs a transfusion. Today has been a hellish night so far.” She says, looking at the doors behind her back and at the full waiting room.

I was so worried about Jenna, that I didn’t notice a few people with bleeding wounds, and others in various states of distress.

“We’re pretty low on our blood supply, so I would like to ask if any of her family members want to donate blood to Jenna?”

I have no hesitation. “I’ll do it.”

If Jenna needed a kidney, a piece of my liver, a fucking lung, I would give it to her.

“If you follow me,” the doctor’s smile is tight. “We can check your blood type and?—”

“I have this.” I offer her my blood donor card. “We did a blood drive in high school and I’ve been coming here to donate blood regularly.”

The doctor takes it. “We always double check the blood group of a donor, just to be on the safe side. But I’m afraid,” she says, handing me back the card. “That you don’t share the same blood type as Jenna. You’re AB positive and your daughter is O negative. Is Jenna’s mother here?”

The doctor looks at Lula and, not for the first time, I wish things had gone a different way three years ago.

The words tumble out of my mouth, before I can even think about their implications. “Jasmine needed blood when she gave birth and I don’t know if I remember correctly, but she was O positive.”

The doctor frowns. “Right. We’ll need to see if another family member can donate to Jenna. Unless you know her biological father?”

“What do you mean? I’m Jenna’s father.”

Something passes in the doctor’s eyes. She looks alarmed, like a cornered animal. “I didn’t mean?—”

I don’t understand. “What did you mean?”

Tom claps my shoulder. “Are you sure Jasmine is O positive? Maybe they have your blood type wrong?”

I shake my head, confused. “No, it’s impossible. I lost my donor card last year and the next time I came to donate, they retested and it’s definitely AB positive.”

The compassion in Tom’s voice is the hardest thing to stomach. “Then Jenna can’t be your biological child. Parents with AB positive and O can only have a child with A or B blood type.”

I open my mouth to object. “That’s impossible, I?—”

The doctor backs Tom. “Yeah, I’m afraid that’s correct. I’ll see what we have in our blood bank.”

Tom lets go of my shoulder and comes forward. “I’m O negative. I can help Jenna.”

I watch as Tom follows the doctor and I vaguely register Stefan saying something to me, but my ears are ringing.

There must be a mistake. Some kind of misunderstanding, it’s the only explanation. “I need a minute.” I say to no one in particular. “I need to call Jaz.”

Jasmine’s voice comes from behind me. “I’m here. The doctor is right. Jenna isn’t yours.”

I turn so quickly, I almost make myself dizzy. Jasmine isn’t looking at me. “What did you just say?”

“I was pregnant when we met. I had just found out.”

I open and close my mouth, too stunned to say anything and Jasmine continues.

“I was in big trouble. I had been sleeping with a few guys, I wasn’t sure who was Jenna’s father. The only thing I knew is that none of them would be interested in having a baby. Not with me, at least. I didn’t want to struggle financially as a single mom, so the only solution was to find someone who would take care of me and Jenna.”

There’s almost no emotion in my ex-wife’s voice but all I feel is emotion.

Fury, hurt, disappointment, fear, denial. It’s such a whirlwind that my hands are shaking. “So you used me.”

Jasmine’s tone is tough, matter of fact. “I did what I had to do. I liked you, Jules. A lot. You aren’t just loaded, you’re hot and you were fun in bed at least at the beginning. I thought I hit the jackpot.”

I don’t know what to say. I feel gross, stupid, numb and raw at the same time, if that’s even possible. “Is that why you fucked the next door neighbor? Funny way to show you hit the jackpot.”

“You don’t get to make me the villain in this story, Jules.” Jasmine bites out. “At the beginning you were into me, or at least I thought you were. Then I realized you were thinking about her when you were with me.” She points to Lula.

“Leave Lula out of this, Jaz.” I threaten.

“You wanted the truth? I’m giving it to you. At first I thought we could have made things work, especially because you were so good with Jenna. But there were three people in our marriage. You were pining for Lula and there was no room for me in your heart. That started affecting our relationship in bed too. All you wanted was to be with Jenna, it was as if I didn’t even exist. What was I supposed to do? I took care of my needs elsewhere.”

Un-fucking-believable.

“You can’t seriously be jealous of our daughter.”

“ My daughter.” She corrects me. “And why can’t I be mad at her? She ruined my life. She’s a burden. A responsibility that keeps me from doing what I want and costs a ton of money. All she did was ruin my figure. Even now if it wasn’t for her, I would have been set with all the money you agreed to give me.”

I feel sick to my stomach. “I really was just a meal ticket to you.”

She shrugs. “Aren’t you happy that you’re off the hook now? Thank fuck my influencer business is taking off and I signed a couple of great deals. I’ll have my lawyer call yours about our contract. You don’t owe me anymore money and you don’t have to stay here. I’ll make sure Jenna is ok. That’s why I didn’t want to let you see her, by the way. Once it was over between us, I didn’t think it was right to burden you with her.”

I’ve never wanted to hit a woman until now. I didn’t really want to hit Jasmine, not even when I found her cheating. I was close to it when she threatened Lula, but now I have to clench my fists. I have to remind myself that she’s pregnant.

“Don’t you dare call our daughter a burden.” I seethe.

“ My daughter .” She corrects me for the second time. “Weren’t you listening to the doctor first and to everything I said? I was four weeks pregnant when I met you. I started sleeping with you on purpose so I could say that you knocked me up. Jenna isn’t yours.”

I hate myself for crying in front of Jasmine, but I’m in so much pain. “She is my daughter, Jaz. From the moment I held her in the delivery room, she’s been mine. I live for her little smiles, for when she calls me Daddy. The fact that she doesn’t share my DNA, means nothing to me. I’ve raised her and I love her with all my heart and she loves me too.”

My ex-wife looks at me as if I had sprouted a second head. “Are you insane? If someone told me that she isn’t mine, I’d be out of here faster than lightning. So what? Are you going to keep paying me child support?” she snorts.

“Yeah.” I nod. “Nothing has to change. I have the money to honor our agreement. As long as you let me have joint custody, I?—”

“No, Jules. This is fucking weird and it’s the shock talking. I don’t trust that once Jenna is out of the woods, once you’ve had time to think this through, you’ll sue me for every cent you’ve ever given me.”

I fight the urge to yell. The nurse at the reception desk is already looking at me with a scowl and I don’t want to be kicked out. “We can put it in writing that as long as you guarantee me joint custody, our financial agreement still stands and I’m not going to claim any money back. My name is on Jenna’s birth certificate, so as far as the law is concerned, I’m her father.”

Jasmine doesn’t budge. “No. I’m going to be financially independent with the new deal I just signed for my social media presence. All it’s going to take is a DNA test to get the judge to give me custody. You and I are done, Jules.”

Why is she doing this to me? My eyes fill with tears. “Please Jaz,” I beg. “Don’t do this. Jenna is my daughter and I’m the only father she’s ever known. Her world has already been turned upside down when we separated. Please don’t put her through more trauma by taking me away from her.”

She shakes her head. “Jenna is three. Kids at that age are like goldfish. Give her two weeks, she’ll have forgotten who you are.”

My fists are clenched so tightly that my knuckles have turned white. “You can’t be serious right now. I was the one who took care of her ninety percent of the time. I fed her, changed her, bathed her. I put her to bed and read her bedtime stories every night. I was the one who got up if she had a bad dream. I’m her father.”

Jasmine has made up her mind. “No, you’re not. I’ve had enough of you and your family telling me what to do. Your parents have been judging me since the second you brought me home to meet them. They’ve been judging me as a person and as a mother. I’m done with this shit. Jenna is mine and I want you all out of here. Especially her.”

She points her finger at Lula.

My stepsister tightens the foil blanket around herself, as if that could protect her from my ex’s fury.

I’m about to argue that I’m not leaving. Not now, not ever.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cutler,” the ER doctor comes out for the treatment area, followed by Tom. “Jenna received the blood Mr. Turner has kindly donated. We had to give her several internal and external stitches, but she’s stable and we’re confident she’s going to make a full recovery. Of course the cut on Jenna’s leg isn’t her only injury. She also has a concussion and we’d like to keep her overnight for observation. If there aren’t any setbacks, we might release her tomorrow.”

Thank fuck.

Part of the tension and the adrenaline that has been coursing through me dissipates. “Can I see her?”

The doctor looks uncertain. “Sure. She’s being moved into the pediatric ward right now. One parent can stay the night, if you want.”

I have no hesitation. “I’ll stay.”

“No, you won’t.” Jasmine is adamant. “I’m going to see her, you can go home. Jenna is no longer your concern, Jules. I mean it. Go or I’ll call the cops.”

I’m about to argue with her. I need to see Jenna and she needs me. She’s always wanted me when she was sick or scared.

“Let’s go home, Jules.” Mom’s hand brushes against my bicep. “Jenna is in good hands and there’s nothing we can do right now. It’s been a long day and an even longer night. We’re all tired and cranky. Things might look different tomorrow morning, after a good night's sleep.”

I’m about to argue that I’m not going to change my mind about Jenna. Then I look at my pregnant ex-wife and I reconsider.

Maybe Mom is right. Jasmine has always left me to deal with any ailments Jenna had. She begrudged having to care for her, especially if that meant losing sleep.

One night in an uncomfortable hospital chair, might help Jasmine look at being a single parent under a different perspective.

My heart hurts that I don’t get to see my daughter. I hope she doesn’t think her daddy doesn’t care.

I’m going to call Gordon first thing tomorrow morning. I want to know what my rights are in this situation. I’m not giving up on Jenna that easily.

“Fine. Jaz, call me if you need me.” I use my most reasonable tone.

“Jenna and I will be fine.” My ex says. “We don’t need you.”

I walk out of the hospital in a daze. I don’t even realize it when Lula slips her hand into mine, but I’m grateful for her support when we reach Crew’s Jeep.

The sun is already rising on a brand new day. Usually I’d get up at this time to catch some waves before it gets too hot, but my exhaustion is bone deep. My world has been shaken from its foundations and my mind is reeling with the effort to cope with my new reality.

Tom’s car is parked right next to Crew’s.

“Are you guys ok to go home without us?” Mom asks. “Tom and I left the club as the guests were starting to leave. We just want to check that the late staff has cleaned up and everything is ready for today.”

Crew nods. “Sure, I can drive Lula, Stefan and Jules home. Mom, what about you?”

Tilly shrugs. “I don’t think there’s much room for me in your car, sweetie. Maybe Tom and Arianna can drop me off home? I’m on their way to the club.”

Tom offers her a tired smile. “I can do that, Tilly.”

Crew’s Mom smiles. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll come with you guys to the club and help you. If we stop by the bakery on the way to my apartment, I can send you home with some fresh pastries.”

We climb in the Jeep. Napoleon is asleep in the backseat, he doesn’t even wake up when Lula picks him up. Lula’s head is on my shoulder. I love the weight of her head on me, it gives me so much comfort that I don’t even realize that I fell asleep until Crew parks his car in our driveway.

Lula

“Luls,” Jules whispers softly to me. “We’re home.”

I shake my head to wake up enough to get out of the car and into the house.

Between Jules’s comforting presence next to me and the warmth of the blanket that’s still wrapped around my shoulders, I was asleep the second Crew left the hospital parking lot.

My body feels exhausted as I follow the guys inside the house and climb the stairs to my room.

I’m tired but wired and while I know I need to go to bed, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.

The second I close my eyes, alone in my bed, I know the memories of what happened in the boathouse will fill my mind.

“I don’t want to be alone,” I say, not surprised that Stefan, Jules and Crew followed me up the stairs.

Stefan is the first to walk past the threshold of my bedroom. “I can stay with you, Jumps.” His large hand cups my jaw. “I always sleep better with you in my arms anyway.”

“Thanks, Stef.” I nod, letting the foil blanket slip off my shoulders. “Can you get my zipper, please?”

Usually I don’t have to ask Stefan twice to help me undress, but rather than helping me take my dress off, he gasps.

“What the fuck happened to you? Jumps, who did this to you?”

For a second I don’t understand what he means or why he’s looking at me with alarm in his green eyes.

Crew and Jules are looking at me with matching worried and horrified expressions.

I understand what they’re talking about when I look in the mirror above my dresser.

My neck is a mess of mottled bruises that are turning from red to blue and purple, darkening with every passing minute.

I lower my gaze, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

“Baby,” Crew is standing behind me. “Talk to us. We just want to make sure you’re ok. Please.”

Stefan traces my jaw with gentle fingers, his voice low and soft. “If we don’t know what happened, we can’t protect you. All we want is for you to be safe, Jumps.”

I swallow the thick lump that burns in my throat, fighting the tears that well in my eyes.

I’m surprisingly embarrassed about what happened. Ashamed that I was caught off guard, that I couldn’t defend myself better.

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

I tell that to myself over and over, trying to gather the courage to tell them. I know they’ll believe me.

That’s the problem.

I’m afraid of what they’re going to do when they know. At the same time though I know that if roles were reversed, I would want to know.

It’s time to show these three men that I mean it when I say that I trust them.

“When I was looking for Jenna, I went toward the boathouse. I didn’t think she’d be in there but the door was unlocked and…”

I tell them everything about the attack, how I thought Evan was going to get what he wanted and then kill me.

How I fought him off with everything I had and I conclude my story with how Napoleon came to the rescue, how fiercely he protected me.

“Napoleon wanted me to follow him and he led me to Jenna. Crew caught up with us a few minutes later.”

My story is met with silence.

“Jumps,” Stefan’s voice is rough, as if he were fighting tears too. “I’m so sorry. We were worried about Jenna and we didn’t fucking think. We shouldn’t have left you by yourself. If you hadn’t gotten away from him, I don’t think I could have forgiven myself.”

It’s my turn to comfort him. “No, Stef. It’s not your fault. Finding Jenna was the most important thing and no one could have predicted that Evan would take that opportunity to attack me.”

Jules is still by the door, his tall frame filling the space. “I never thought I’d say this, but thank fuck Napoleon had your back. I’m gonna get the little guy some steak, he earned it. But I agree with Stefan. We should have kept you with one of us. I’m so sorry, Luls.”

I close my eyes, soaking up the warmth of Stefan’s fingers against my face. I lean against his touch, using it like a lifeline to keep me tethered to the fact that I escaped Evan pretty much unscathed. “I don’t hold you responsible for the actions of that monster. Besides, between Napoleon’s sharp teeth and my kick, hopefully that asshole is going to be sore for a few days.”

Crew’s fingers trace one of the worst bruises on the side of my neck. “We can’t let him get away with this though. Shall we call the sheriff or do we pay that motherfucker a visit?”

Panic takes my breath away, making me tremble with the effort to keep breathing normally. “No. Please I don’t want you to do anything. Even if the sheriff believed me, my stepfather would find a way to make this go away. He could get away with murder.”

Stefan’s hand moves to the back of my head, tilting my face up to make me look at him. “But we can’t not do anything.”

His eyes are full of determination, but also love, respect and compassion.

“I know it’s difficult to accept it,” I say. “But people like Evan and his father have connections that protect them from the consequences that normal people have to deal with. Even if one of them had killed Eddie, Trevor and Maura, I wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to cover it up. A part of me wishes that Evan had done it and we could prove it. But I couldn’t even get him to pay for assaulting me the first time. I’m under no illusion that things would be any different now. He would say it was consensual and that I like it rough. He would make people doubt me like he did three years ago. No, I think we should keep the deal we made with him. At least like that, Crew’s problem will be solved.”

Crew’s lips trace the shell of my ear, his fingers brushing my hair away. “Don’t worry about me, baby. It’s more important to get Evan to pay for what he did to you. No one hurts my girl and walks away scot free.”

They don’t understand. “He isn’t worth it.” I snap, frustrated. “All we would achieve if you guys kicked his ass like you want, is to get you a criminal record. Then Evan would have no obstacles to get what he wants.”

They can argue all they want, but they know I’m right.

“So what do you propose we do?” Jules asks.

“You let him drive that boat after he gives you that signed agreement. So Crew will be done with him and Evan will leave me alone.”

Jules shakes his head. “How can you believe he’ll honor any agreement after what he did to you tonight?”A muscle in his jaw is popping in the typical telltale sign that he’s furious.

If possible, his night has been worse than mine.

“He told me he would. He wanted to ‘seal the deal’ before he signed the agreement.”

Stefan’s eyes darken. “I still don’t trust him.”

I don’t blame him. “His father is going to have him by his side all the time, especially if he gets elected. He’ll be thousands of miles away. Please guys, he isn’t worth your freedom. Let him drive the boat and send him on his way.”

Stefan exhales slowly, his eyes boring into mine. “I still don’t like this, but you know I’d do anything for you.”

His hand is still tangled in my hair and I cover his wrist with mine to keep it there. “Thank you.”

Crew’s hands slip down to my waist, his front touching my back as he gives me his word. “I agree with Stefan. But if that motherfucker dares show his face in here again after he leaves, all bets are off.”

I know that’s all I can ask them. “Jules?”

His expression is remarkably similar to Stefan’s when he finally relents. “Yeah. What they just said. He drives the boat, and fucks off. If I see him again in town, he better run faster than me.”

Relief floods my body. “Thank you. I love you.”

I’m saying it to all three of them, but my eyes are fixed into Stefan’s and he’s the first one to say it back.

“I love you too, Jumps. With all my heart.”

He lowers his head, brushing my lips with his. It’s gentle at first, but the emotions of the night finally catch up with me and I realize how much I need him.

I kiss him back, pulling him closer and slanting my mouth over his to deepen the kiss.

Stefan reacts with a groan, as his fingers massage my scalp and his tongue slides against mine.

“I love you, baby.” Crew’s lips glide down the back of my neck, his mouth soft and open. When he reaches the base of my neck, his teeth scrape against my sensitive skin and it’s my turn to groan.

A wave of sensation runs down my spine, turning into liquid heat when it hits between my thighs. I clench involuntarily, suddenly needing so much more.

I reach behind me, pulling Crew closer. I’ve never felt safer than this, sandwiched between Stefan and Crew, with their lips on me, their solid bodies reminding me of everything that is good.

Our kisses become more intense, Stefan’s hands descend to my chest, his fingers playing with my hard nipples through the thin fabric of my dress.

Crew’s hard-on is pressed against my ass and I grind my hips, hungry for him.

I’m so lost in the feeling of my men’s mouths and hands on me, that I forget everything else. All the bad stuff melts away in the scorching heat of their bodies against mine.

The clearing of someone’s throat reminds me about the fact that I’m not alone with Stefan and Crew.

Jules hasn’t moved from the door.

When I open my eyes to look at him there’s a storm of emotions brewing in his dark blue eyes.

He’s watching us with fury mixed with desire.

I told him the night of the storm that I love Stefan and Crew just as much as I love him. He has expressed a few times that he doesn’t think he can share me with them.

I guess, that like a lot of other things, tonight things have come to a head for our relationship too.