Shattered Dreams (Dream #1)

Chapter Twelve

Autumn

I listen to the sound of crickets chirping nearby, the taste of whiskey on my lips as I lick them. I wonder if I should take another pull of the bottle. It’s been a fucking day and a half, to say the very least. I got home and immediately took a hot bath, hoping it would make it somewhat better, but it didn’t. Walking outside and seeing the bottle of whiskey beside the swing was a sign I should drink my sorrows away. So I took a couple of pulls and the tears fell, freely. I replay the day, starting with the shit with Charlie to the letter and then running into Mrs. Cartwright.

I was adamant to my brother and my father that I wasn’t going anywhere. I was being as brave as I could be in their eyes, but the minute I got home and was able to let it out, I did. This is my home and where I want to be, but it doesn’t mean it is easy for me. It also doesn’t mean that I belong here. Maybe I don’t, and perhaps I’m just dragging out the inevitable, but I’m not going anywhere for the moment. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to crawl in a hole and just bury my head. Doesn’t mean it isn’t killing me a little staying here. Little do they know how I’m breaking inside more and more. I thought there was nothing left to break. I must have been wrong.

I hear the rustling of leaves and look up, his eyes on me as he walks toward me. All I can do is glare at him. In another fucking T-shirt that molds to his chest, and now that I know what is under it, my hands itch to touch him. His jeans hang on to his hips as he walks toward me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

I put my feet down and wipe the tear away, but another one joins it. “You have got to be fucking kidding me,”

I say louder, my voice almost echoing in the quiet night. “Can you, for fucking once, just let me be?”

He stops in front of the railing, and I walk over to it, putting my hands on it and spreading them on the railing. “Like, just let me fucking be.”

I can’t help the tears that come down my face. “I get it, you hate me. Trust me, I get it. But can you fucking for once just go away and let me be?”

I again don’t wait for him to say anything. “This is the only place I can fucking breathe.”

I lift my hand to my house. “It’s my safe space. Leave me to my fucking safe space, Charlie.”

I take a deep inhale. “Please just leave me to my fucking safe space.”

I start to walk away. “You can spew all your hate in the street like everyone else does,”

I say softly, “you don’t have to come to my house to do it.”

I take one step forward when he speaks, “What did she tell you?”

I close my eyes, not surprised he heard about the scene in the middle of Main Street.

I turn in my spot. “Why do you fucking care?”

I ask. “Is it because you weren’t there to witness it and add more fuel to the fire? Is that why you care?”

“I asked you a question.”

He ignores what I just said and focuses on his own question.

“Is this what you came here for tonight?”

I ask. “To get the lowdown on what went on with Mrs. Cartwright?”

He just stares at me. “It’s the same shit it always is. Just like you, she hates me, wants me to crawl back into a hole and die, yada, yada, yada.”

“What did you expect when you came back here?”

He folds his arms over his chest, and I can see his arms get bigger.

“I expected for everyone to have moved on a little. I expected to be stared at and pointed at. Trust me, I wasn’t expecting to be anyone’s friend, but I wasn’t expecting this,”

I admit. “I told the truth.”

“Yeah,”

he snaps, “a little too late, don’t you think?”

“I don’t have to take this shit,”

I declare, hoping my voice doesn’t crack. “I really fucking don’t. I was scared shitless of doing it!”

I shout at him, not willing to go back to that memory. “I could have kept my mouth shut and then none of this would be happening to me. But I didn’t. I stood up and challenged them, told the truth about the whole family, and what did it get me?”

I shake my head. “But, hey, it’s not the first time I’ve been strong-armed and pushed around.”

I see his eyes flinch. “I’m just not going to stand here as a willing participant anymore.”

I turn and head to the door. I hear him rush up the three steps as I open the door and walk in, hoping he doesn’t follow me, but then feeling him in the house. “What do you want from me, Charlie?”

I ask him softly. “I literally can’t give you anything else, because I don’t have anything left to give.”

I wipe away a tear. “You can turn back around and go back where you came from.”

I walk toward my bedroom, hoping he just goes away, when I feel his hand grab my wrist and turn me around, my back toward the door of my bedroom. His eyes stare into mine. Not saying a word, he bends his head and his lips crash onto mine. My mouth opens in shock, so he has the chance to slide his tongue inside. His hand lets go of my wrist, so I raise my hand to touch him but secretly stop myself, putting my hands up beside my head. The kiss I tried to erase from my memory is now alive and better than I thought it was. His mouth moves from one side to the other to get the kiss to go deeper, his hand now cupping my ass as I arch my back into him. I should stop this. I should push him away. I should do a lot of things, but what I don’t do is that. Instead, my hands go to the hem of his shirt as I push it up so I can feel the heat of his skin.

My nails graze against the bottom of his stomach and his muscles contract as he pulls me away from the door and toward the bed. The bed I made as soon as I got out of the bath, a bed I was sure was never going to have Charlie Barnes in it again. A bed that has only had Charlie Barnes in it. His hands move from my ass to my sides as he pulls the tank top up and over my tits, letting my mouth go just so he can rip the shirt over my head. He tosses it to the side before grabbing my face and kissing me again. My hands work on his shirt now, moving it up, and he lets my mouth go so he can reach behind him and pull it off. I lean in, biting his nipple and hearing him hiss, my teeth mark still there from last night. Something flutters inside me as I lean back in and bite the same spot until he growls, and I’m picked up and thrown on the bed. He puts one knee on the bed. His hands go to my hips to rip the shorts down and then the panties, which are also tossed to the side, before coming back up to my face. I think he’s going to kiss me, but he bites my jaw. “Got your mouth on me yesterday,”

he mumbles as he licks down my neck toward my nipple, stopping to suck it into his mouth. “Didn’t give me a chance to use mine.”

I watch him open my legs, my knees falling to the sides as his head bends, and he devours me like I’m his last fucking meal. I get up on one elbow, watching him lick up my slit toward my clit, flicking it with his tongue before going back down and sliding it inside me. My eyes close as I take in the feel of him. My hand comes out to run into his hair as his finger slides in with his tongue, hitting my G-spot before sliding his tongue out of me and moving up to suck my clit between his teeth. It’s all I need for me to fall over the edge. Gushing over his finger, I moan out his name, “Charlie.”

But he doesn’t let up, not Charlie. Instead of pulling his finger out, his finger just speeds up. I can’t even help the pant coming out of my mouth, moving my hands through his silky hair, gripping it in my hand. “I’m going to come again,”

I admit. His eyes look up at me as his tongue flicks my clit from side to side. His fingers fuck me faster and faster until I let go again, this time bigger than the last time. Bigger than when I do it to myself, bigger than it’s ever been. “It’s…”

I close my eyes, feeling it rushing through me. My hand loosens his hair as I move my elbow and lie down in the bed.

He slides his fingers out of me, one hand lying beside me, the other up by my head. My body feeling like it’s floating on air. My eyes watch him move off my bed, thinking he will grab his shirt and leave. But instead, with his eyes staring into mine, he kicks off one boot and then the other. His hand moves to the button on his jeans. My eyes watch his hands, seeing him pull the zipper down. My heart beats even faster than it was two seconds ago when I had my second orgasm in less than three minutes. His hands push the jeans down, and then he stands there in black boxers, the outline of his cock filling out the front of his underwear. He pulls his boxers down, his cock springing free. My eyes watch him move one knee onto the bed and then the other, his cock in his hand.

“On your knees,”

he orders me, “ass up, face down.”

I must be moving too slow for him because he grips my hips and turns me over himself. “Hands stretched in front of you.”

He picks up my hips as I put my forehead to the bed and stretch out my hands in front of me. I’m about to say something to him, but he rubs his cock up my slit once before he slams into me. The sound of us both groaning fills the room. He stays rooted inside me for a second, his hands gripping my hips harder before he pulls out slowly, then slamming back into me.

I grip the sheets in front of me as he mercilessly pounds into me. It’s so fucking good I can’t help but moan out, “Yes!”

His hands grip me even tighter as he lifts me off my knees, and his balls hit my clit over and over again as he fucks me. I can’t do anything but hang on as he takes me over the edge again. My eyes close to ride it out, my hips now moving to meet his thrusts. I hear him hiss from behind me when he slams into me one last time before he gives me small little thrusts, until I feel his chest on my back at the same time as his fingers let go of my hips.

He slides out of me and collapses beside me as I move my knees and hips to the side. Neither of us says one word to each other. Neither of us do anything but trying to catch our breath. I lie here looking at the wall, my eyes getting heavy, probably from the crying I did after work. I should probably kick him out of my bed, tell him to leave now before we have another confrontation like this morning. I’m about to tell him to get out when I feel him curl into me. His legs tangle with mine, his face almost in my neck, and I hear him softly snoring. I close my eyes, taking in his warmth. The only thing going through my mind is that he'll be gone by the time I wake up.