Shephard (Mountain Men of Danger Falls #1)

Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

S hephard

I was no fool. I’d checked and rechecked the rearview mirror as I was driving away from her home, certain the bastard would try to make good on his threats.

He would at some point. I was as positive of that fact as I was the man was not worth the space he occupied.

Scum.

I’d dealt with the worst of humanity over the years, men who enjoyed torture and took pleasure in destroying all those around them. I didn’t have a second thought when taking the lives of those who had no regard for others. Whether it was from greed, entitlement, or it was simply that they were sick sadists, I pulled the trigger and happily went on with my life.

Not with the bastard who’d abused the woman I cared for.

The very one I’d acted as if I owned. Some men treated women as nothing more than possessions, pretty little things they could take out of a cage or off a shelf when it suited them. Jameson was one of those assholes. He’d been taught by his father and grandfather that he could have anything he wanted.

I could have easily killed the man. I’d had my finger on the trigger, ready and eager to blow his brains out. I could try to say common decency had prevented me from doing the deed. Or perhaps the fear of imprisonment, but neither one was the case. The man continued to breathe because I’d become emotional in the moment.

Not good for anyone.

Including the tough but fragile Denise Parker. For all her bravado, when accepting the job in Charlotte, she’d left everything and everyone she knew in Maine. The distance kept her from driving home for a weekend, taking comfort or advice from her mother or sister, who remained there.

He’d wooed her. I’d seen a couple of pictures that came out after the horrific scandal. I’d almost smashed the computer when noticing the look of contempt in his eyes as he held her elbow. I could only imagine how abusive he’d gotten. For her to up and leave a job I knew she’d adored meant the time she’d spent with him continued to give her nightmares.

My rage burned deeper. I wanted him dead.

I’d easily found out about her torrid affair with the creep. Initially discovering the nasty press items and the obvious attachment had irritated the fuck out of me. She’d been treated badly in the press and by the man’s family. She’d been called the most horrible names, her house vandalized because the Reynoldses had been so beloved in the city. My God, the fucking abuser was still considered a golden child, everyone looking the other way when he fucked up.

And he had multiple times, Daddy or a politician always coming to his rescue.

When I’d learned just how far the asshole would go to get what he wanted, I’d become livid. But he was in Charlotte and she was here. Running. Hiding. No longer living the life she wanted.

Until tonight.

I thought through my options, weighing them carefully. If she really had absconded with information that could ruin him, it could mean the end of Jameson’s reign. But if she was discovered as the one leaking it, her forward behavior could haunt her forever.

Daunting but doable.

Maybe.

Denise wasn’t the kind of woman to let her guard down or to admit she needed someone in her corner. However, I had no intention of allowing her to continue thwarting my attempts to help. The jealousy I’d felt in the bar was nothing in comparison to the murderous need that continued to furrow inside my chest. Jameson Reynolds had pressed the wrong buttons. He’d invoked the kind of rage I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

That wasn’t good for his health or well-being.

I didn’t tell her that her ex had also been involved in a reckless driving situation where his passenger had died because of his carelessness. Or that payoffs more like extortion had been used to shove it under the rug. There was no need to go over the man’s life story, at least with her. He’d had a get out of jail free card. I’d read the single article where a reporter had dared comment on seeing bruises on her. Another issue that had been squelched, but I’d found it.

Jameson was lucky to be alive.

The truth was that I didn’t just crave this woman.

I needed her.

I needed to taste her on my lips, feel her tight pussy around my cock.

I needed to lick every inch of her body until she issued the strangled moan I’d grown to love.

But even more gut-wrenching was the fact I wanted to keep her locked away from the world, a prized gift that I could unwrap at the end of a long day.

I wasn’t certain what that said about me, but she’d sparked something I long thought dead inside. The fact I didn’t do relationships or second dates ever seemed irrelevant at this point. We’d passed that stage. Not that I knew what to call what we were sharing. What I’d found more interesting than me asking her to come invade my private space was that she’d agreed after I’d made it a statement of fact.

Not a single woman in my life had been inside a place where I’d lived. Not one. There was nothing to be embarrassed about since I didn’t own anything that was worthwhile. That didn’t change facts. She’d said nothing on the ride over to my house, but she hadn’t fought me either. I sensed she was deep in thought and insisted on taking her laptop with her.

I’d seen the whiteboard. I’d asked her basic questions while reading the colorful notes. The woman had a true handle on the case. And it had sparked something else deep within me.

I knew who was behind the murders. I also had put the pieces together of the very first call my father had made to me now ages ago.

Three months.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was right, but I was fairly certain a lure had been set in motion. I needed to get my hands on information about the bodies. The one we’d found on the mountain had been beaten pretty badly, no chance of checking the body for any identifying marks. If the murders were about revenge, I’d already put together a formulation of who could be next on the hit list.

Why draw them here other than to set a final game in motion?

I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and she glanced over, the darkness unable to hide her apprehension.

“He won’t stop, you know. Jameson is up to something,” she offered.

I pulled into my driveway, chuckling more darkly than I should given the situation. “Do you really have incriminating information on the man?”

She didn’t hesitate or stutter. “Shit that could bring down his entire family and there would be no way to challenge what I have. No way to gloss it over.”

“How did you get it?”

Now she laughed. “The old-fashioned way. Stealing.”

“My kind of girl.”

She was supposed to be off the case. I’d known better. She was as tenacious as I was, maybe even more so. I liked that about her, but it was also the one thing that would keep her in hot water or worse.

I knew when to stop.

Except around her.

“We will talk. I need to see what you have so I know how to handle the jerk,” I told her as I parked.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Shephard. The man has friends everywhere. That’s how I was found.”

“There’s a reason he’s coming after you. A major deal or the girl he’s marrying is from a prominent family. Something else we should look at. It’s called leverage.”

Her sigh was heavy and she threw open the door, Pepper immediately climbing over her to get out. “I don’t want anyone else hurt. Including you. I… I care about you.”

She closed the door behind her, making certain I couldn’t say anything in retort to her comment. I sat back briefly, holding my breath.

My entire world was about to change. The question was whether I could handle it or if I’d hurt her. Not a chance. I’d walk away first.

My mind went straight to the gutter as soon as she walked into the cabin. The vision of licking her naked body all over was a powerful aphrodisiac and one I couldn’t seem to rid myself of. But as I’d been told more times than I could count, I was emotionally unavailable, which meant I didn’t know how to comfort her in the least.

Whether or not she wanted to admit she was over the guy, she was living in turmoil and had been since fleeing Charlotte. And that’s exactly what had occurred. She’d been run out on a silver platter orchestrated by the Reynolds family.

Here I was dripping with lust, imagining her naked body on that same silver platter and Denise was wringing her hands.

“I heard all the residences owned by your mom and dad were gorgeous.” She seemed more nervous around me than she’d ever been. Maybe because this moment was real. I’d seen her frustration, her fear.

And tears.

The reality was I wasn’t sure how to handle it. “They did well for themselves. It shocked his children. Dad had always floundered.”

“I heard the reason the resort hadn’t sold for years was that the previous owner wanted too much money. I guess your dad had investors?”

“Supposedly.” I could tell it was her way of putting a spin on the good fortune. Meaning she also felt something was off with the entire situation. I’d found little on the investors at the office, which meant my father was keeping close tabs on information he didn’t want his children to discover. The three boys had walked into a land mine. I felt it.

“Why did they ask you and your brothers to take over? From what I heard your parents seemed to enjoy the work.” She was clutching her laptop bag and the duffle where she’d shoved clothes as if I was going to steal them from her.

No one learned about my private life, but I felt compelled to tell her the truth. Trust was vital right now. On both sides. “My father has stage four cancer with months to live. He made this offer more out of his bizarre desire to have his three sons stop the animosity between us.” I moved toward her, gently taking the items from her hands. While she allowed me to do so, her expression remained pained. The bastard has nearly sucked the life out of her.

I wanted to kill him more now than I had before. I could have easily crushed his windpipe with my knee, a handy maneuver I’d learned a long time ago.

“I am so sorry about your dad. I had no idea. It’s good the three of you are here. I miss my family very much.”

But she was afraid to go home. Fuck Jameson.

“He doesn’t talk about it. Hell, he doesn’t talk about anything personal. Honestly, if my mother hadn’t blurted out his condition with tears in her eyes, I honestly don’t think he would have admitted his illness.” I stopped talking. I never allowed anyone to know my business, but here I was with diarrhea of the mouth.

But she was so easy to talk to and I could tell by the look in her eyes, the way she held her mouth how intensely sad she was here for me and my entire family. People she didn’t even know. Fuck. I needed to try to stay away from her. It was that simple. I would drag her through quicksand instead of mud as Jameson had done. I couldn’t do that to her. I might not have a conscience, but I refused to be an asshole to someone so… damn good.

Yet I couldn’t. It was just too late.

I would do everything in my life to protect her.

Even from me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked in her sweet, kind voice. She could be such a heavy hitter, but her softer side drew me in like flies to honey.

Damn it.

“I just did,” I stated, my tone completely changing. Again. “I’ll take your things to the guest room in a little while. My guess is you wouldn’t mind a drink and God knows I need one.” I started to storm from the room and she laughed. I knew the sound. She was already disgusted with me.

“No, I wouldn’t mind a goddamn drink because the man who rescued and protected me is being an asshole. Again. I’m not sure what I did to deserve his stupid behavior or utter hatred, but I guess I’ll just get used to it. Lights on. Lights off. Cold. Hot. Steamy. I just wish that man, who I actually kind of like when he’s not being an asshole, would figure out the man he wants to be.” She allowed the words to hang in the room and I did nothing but stand there like a fucking statue.

Like always.

“Are you sure you want me to be here?” she demanded.

“Don’t question my decisions, sweetheart,” I said just as bitterly. “When I decide something, it’s final. I’ll get some goddamn drinks.” I was more forceful in my words than usual, more for her benefit. Maybe it was my way of trying to drive her out of my mind.

It wasn’t working.

I placed the bags by the stairs, shocked I didn’t toss them there instead. She was the single person who could regularly get under my skin, crawling into my entire system.

She was mumbling under her breath, likely cursing the day she met me. I couldn’t blame her and usually I would say I didn’t give a shit. Another fucking lie. I was good at that. I had a difficult time moving, starting up the stairs instead. The house was way too much for me. I couldn’t care less. Shit. I didn’t even know what I cared about any longer.

I’d taken the room at the end of the hall, but had only been in there a few hours combined. I hadn’t unpacked, grabbing what I’d needed prior to taking a shower. In my mind, she would be too close even with a long hallway between us. Next, I’d be locking my bedroom door. At least the thought brought some levity to the moment.

The last three nights I’d had maybe five hours of sleep combined. I’d searched and used up a couple of favors in trying to locate Boris. If he was planning his revenge, he was laying low, which was in his best interest. He was considered Russia’s most notorious criminal and from what I’d been told, there was a no-holds-barred attempt to recapture him.

If that happened, he would be put to death.

Unless I got to him first.

My instincts were usually spot on. I was certain they were at this point.

She was huffing behind me. I honestly doubted she understood her ex was only part of the reason she was in danger. I also suspected the jerk who’d gotten away from the mountain wasn’t too happy with what had occurred. Neither were the people he was working for. In my experience, that usually meant retaliation. At least being on my own turf, I could protect her.

“Why the animosity between you and your brothers?” she spit out. Her anger wasn’t going to leave so quickly.

I thought about her question and shook my head. She deserved a decent answer if nothing else. I couldn’t give her anything else at this point. “I don’t honestly know. We always competed. Our father pushed us to do so. Plus, my brothers are just like me in attitude and demeanor.”

“Great. There are three of you in the world. Fabulous.”

It was my turn to issue a deep breath, hating myself for the tension I’d created.

“I’m sorry, Shephard. You saved my life twice and here I am being nasty to you. I don’t know what you went through, although I might be able to make a pretty educated guess. I’m just saddened that it’s turned you into such a broken man incapable of sharing your feelings. Wants. Needs. You only allow the most primal ones to float to the surface and only when you say so. Yeah, I am damaged to a point and ashamed for falling for Jameson’s bullshit, but I won’t lose myself completely because of one asshole. So, I’m sorry. What I said wasn’t fair.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me your fucking sweetheart unless you mean it!” Her voice had raised enough Pepper reacted. I heard the dog’s tail thumping, but I also sensed her disapproval. “Finish what you were saying. Be truthful to yourself if you can’t to me. Why don’t you get along with your brothers?”

“Maybe because we’re too much alike. I also think maybe because all three of us entered the military in different branches. Our father encouraged us to do that. Be all that you can be. The truth is, I haven’t thought about it over the last few years.”

“Because you didn’t want to see them or just didn’t care about anyone but yourself?”

I finally swung around to face her. “Care? Why should I care about a man who was trained to become a goddamn killer without feelings or remorse? Why should I ever give a second thought to a man who didn’t fear taking the lives of family members if that’s what it took to complete a mission? Why should I give a flying fuck about a robot who performed like some freaking seal when called upon? Sure, I’m a rich man because of it and I was convinced at one point I was ridding the world of the worst roaches and snakes on earth. But I don’t know any longer if what I did mattered to the world or to anyone.”

My outburst hung in the air like a noose ready to snap around my neck.

Her entire face fell at the same time that her eyes opened wide. “Of course you cared. You did what you thought was right. You want to know why? Because deep inside you’re a very good man with a heart. And a soul. I’ve seen it. Don’t forget. Never forget the man your mother raised you to be.”

God, how I wanted to react in a way that would matter to her. Yet I knew deep inside wanting her would never be enough. I had nothing else to give her. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

Sighing, she looked away briefly.

“Families always have issues, Shephard. I didn’t get along with my sister when I was growing up, but we’re close now and I don’t know why I wasted so much time. You need to bury the hatchet with them. Your father wants you to connect and be strong together. Take that as a gift from him.”

“You don’t know my father. Major fucking asshole.”

“No, but I assume he’s a proud man who finds it difficult to convey emotions. Don’t be him.”

“You’re right about him and his inabilities, but so what?”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. That is just so very sad to me. I see a light inside, but it’s not going to be there for long.”

“There is no light, Denise, just extreme darkness. You might be right, but it’s too late for me.”

“It’s never too late. Never. My father was the same, but as he got older, he’s become very emotional. I finally asked my mother why. She said it was because he’s realized he wasted so many amazing years and experiences. Don’t do that to yourself, Shephard. You might not believe this, but you’ll regret not showing your feelings more than anything in your life as you get older.”

It was impossible not to listen to her melodic voice. She had a way about her that could charm the pants off a leprechaun. At least the goofball thought jerked away some of the anger. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“So hardheaded. So tough. So powerful.”

I wasn’t entirely certain she was giving me a compliment.

She jerked up, grabbing her laptop case. “You wanted to see what I had on Jameson? I’ll show you.” The tension was worse than before, even Pepper noticing, the pup whining every few seconds.

As she fired up her laptop, I moved closer. Yes, I was curious and eager. My mind was working overtime.

The way she pressed her fingers against the keys indicated her frustration. When she brought up a file, she twisted her head. “The Reynolds family is involved in various illegal operations. I overhead a single phone call Jameson made the mistake of taking while I was in the house. At that point, I’d already planned on leaving the son of a bitch. I waited another two weeks, finding an opportunity to be alone with his prized laptop that was almost never out of his possession. This is what I found.”

She shoved the laptop slightly away, staring at the fireplace as I walked closer, sitting down yet keeping my distance. I shifted through the files she’d captured, surprised at what Jameson had been stupid enough to keep in print.

“He should be brought down,” I told her.

“You and what army are going to help that happen? He’s too powerful.”

“No one is that powerful.”

“Why do I have the feeling you know more about the recent murders than you’re telling me?” She still refused to look in my direction.

“I just got here.”

“Right. Remember you wanted me to trust you? This would be a damn good way of helping me do that.”

What was I supposed to say? In my mind, sharing anything would place her in extreme danger. If the Butcher was behind the killings, he would use my weakness. Her. He hadn’t been able to do that before. “I don’t know shit.”

“Fine. Have it your way.”

Disgusted and out of words or energy, I moved into the kitchen. I’d left mail and other shit on the table and was ready to toss it to the floor in a fit of anger. I paced the floor, trying to get her out of my system before it was too late. As I raked my hands through my hair, my mind went to all those filthy places and things I wanted to do to her. What the hell was wrong with me?

The best thing for her life and mine was to walk away.