Shephard (Mountain Men of Danger Falls #1)

Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

S hephard

Impossible situation.

Impossible decisions.

As my father would say, ‘you’re in too deep, boy.’ Fuck. Maybe he was right. I waited as long as I could, doing my best to control my anger, the only emotion I had. I wasn’t upset with her. Just circumstances and fate bringing me here. I should be alone, kept away from the entire world. She was determined to learn that the hard way.

I couldn’t allow that to happen.

But I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything in my entire life. What in the fuck was I going to do? I almost laughed as I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and two glasses, forgoing the ice. Killing was the only way to calm me down.

I’d committed to protecting her and that’s what I planned on doing.

What she had on Jameson was more than just a ticking time bomb as everything else seemed to be. If he truly suspected she had the information, he would stop at nothing to prevent her from using it. Why after months of her living here had Jameson made an appearance?

In my mind, he’d been tipped off. Even if the person had only suspected she had possible evidence, his arrival would possibly prevent me from seeing what was really going on.

Or maybe I was simply creating conspiracy theories.

I brought the bottle of liquor with me, surprised to see she was attempting to start a fire.

She seemed embarrassed when she realized I was watching. “I hope you don’t mind. It’s a little chilly and I forgot my coat.”

“Make yourself at home. I haven’t.”

“Why? You have a beautiful place. It’s gorgeous.”

I placed the drinks on the table, moving toward the fireplace. “Other than the time spent at my parents’ house, I haven’t stayed at one place long enough to make it feel like mine. I don’t need much and this place is… Well, it’s a bit overwhelming.”

“You just need a few feminine touches. That will help.”

She laughed softly as she continued building the fire and I couldn’t stand to see her doing it all by herself. I crouched down, taking the piece of wood from her hands.

“I’m really not helpless.”

“I never said you were, Denise. You’re a strong beautiful woman who was handed some shit. Don’t allow that bastard to take everything you’ve worked for away from you.”

“Said by someone who is doing the same thing. You’re lived a hard life. That much I get.”

I waited until flames licked up over the logs before returning to the couch. “I lived the life I chose.”

“Are you certain it wasn’t the life someone else chose for you? Your father? You already said he pushed his sons.”

“You’re playing psychiatrist again, sweetheart. What you see is what you get.”

“Then I see an amazing man who refused to accept anyone in his life. Friend. Lover. Relationship. Family. The reason is simple. You’re afraid of losing them. The military can do that to you. I know that. I witnessed my share of horrible deaths that I could allow to haunt me to this day, but I can’t let that rule my life.”

I picked up my drink, needing a few seconds before I could possibly answer her. No one had summed it up so succinctly. “Yeah, my father wanted his kids to go into the military. I doubted he would have accepted anything less, but I became a disappointment to him.”

“Because you disappeared while working deep undercover with some government organization removing or eliminating the darkest and most heinous monsters from this earth. Right?”

She was studying me with the same scrutiny I’d done with her. “Don’t ask questions that I can’t answer.”

“You’re out of the organization. You’re free. You’re here. You have a chance to live your life the way you want. Make amends. Have kids. Purchase a home. And I’m not asking for anything from you. You made it perfectly clear you don’t need anyone else in your life.”

Just looking at her was enough to pull at my heart strings. If I had any. She didn’t know me as well as she thought she did.

But she knew enough becoming any further involved with me could hurt her. And that was the last thing I wanted to have occur.

She seemed mesmerized by the fire, constantly petting Pepper as she stared at the flames.

“Do you like it here in Danger Falls?” I wasn’t even certain why I was bothering with small talk.

“Yes, I do. Maybe my soul needed cleansing and this is certainly the place to help do that.”

“But you left a life you loved because of Jameson.” I finally sat down on one of the leather chairs.

She nodded, her hand shaking as she took a sip of her drink. “Because I had no other choice. I adored what I did. But it was funny. When I accepted the position, which didn’t come easily, I knew I’d need to prove myself. I think I did that, but it took a couple years. Other detectives didn’t trust me. I came from a small operation in Maine, which I’m sure you already know. Murders were rare and even major crimes were once in a blue moon. But I proved them wrong.”

I hated to hear her laugh so bitterly.

“You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, Denise. You’re good at what you do. You have a handle on this case.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t locate the town’s murderer. The FBI refused to allow my involvement. Handle or no handle, it doesn’t matter. Unless you know something.” She would continue to push me.

“And you’re ignoring that command. You’re placing yourself smack in the middle of danger.”

Her wry smile was confirmation. At least she turned her head toward me, her eyes sparkling for the first time that night. When she pulled a small jump drive from a pocket in her jean skirt, I shook my head. “So what? The Feds are covering this up. They know the killer. I feel it.”

That was possible and if they’d reached out to anyone about it, their operation would have been shut down. That’s how powerful the organization I’d worked for truly was. I’d come to terms with realizing I’d been nothing more than a puppet. But she was still way in over her head.

“You’re playing with fire,” I told her.

“There is no other way to live. Something is off about the victims and the way they were killed. It seemed ritualistic or maybe a threat to someone. I’ve seen a significant number of murders in my career and to not be able to identify the victims is a clear indication I’m right.”

“What’s on the drive? Have you had a chance to look it over?” I was more than eager to get my hands on it.

“Not yet, but it’s from the coroner, the woman you saw at the bar tonight. She insisted we meet and said there was something I needed to see. She wouldn’t tell me what it was. But you were right about the paralyzing drug.”

I took a deep breath.

She studied my reaction, a slight smirk remaining on her face. “Maggie is never bothered by anything or anyone, but I could swear she was afraid of sharing the information with me. From what she said, there are some discrepancies with the injuries. She wanted me to see the results.”

“You could get fired. You both could. Does that matter?”

She nursed her drink for a few minutes and I let her be. After she poured another round, I sat back in my chair. She was a tough one alright, almost as much as I was. “Not in the least. I know I could get fired, but as my mama always told me, nothing worth having comes without issues and Maggie won’t back down to anyone, male or female or bear.”

I had to chuckle. “Maybe so, but you need to be careful.”

“Why?”

“Because the man with the assassin’s rifle was working for someone highly dangerous. We were seen. He was almost killed. His mission wasn’t completed. A recipe for danger.”

“Maybe, but the guy wasn’t a pro. We’d be dead if he was.” She studied me and it was as if a light bulb was going off. “Unless we were meant to remain alive.”

“Possible.”

“Talk to me. Please.”

“About what?”

She was exasperated as hell. “Your past has returned. Hasn’t it?”

My jaw was clenched almost immediately. “I have no reason to believe that.”

“Bullshit.”

“If you’re telling me the truth, then I need to think about my past cases. I had my share of threats. Every visitor I look at now I question in my mind. I’ve even questioned the motives of an associate I work with.”

“Why?”

“He disappeared and I saw him with a strange-looking guy the other day.”

“Strange-looking guy?”

As she told the story, my hackles became more raised than before.

A part of me needed to tell her that I had my doubts the recent incidents had anything to do with her. “The first murder was almost three months ago?”

“Yes, give or take. Why?”

I played the timing in my head once again. Conspiracy theory or not, I planned on contacting Russ. He was the catalyst. “Because if you’re determined to look into this case, you need to consider all options.”

“Does that mean you’re going to help me?” Now her smile was way too seductive. “You do have the kind of skills every park ranger would die for.”

Helping her would mean putting myself out in the open, something I could barely tolerate.

“That remains to be seen,” I told her. “But you need to be very careful. I know you’re stubborn, but these people mean business.”

“Careful like you?”

“I’m trained to handle assassins and almost every dangerous situation. You’re not.”

“Oh, so being a detective in a large city’s department doesn’t mean shit.”

“Stop arguing with me. Your gut tells you this case could get blown wide open.”

Her sigh was full of aggravation. “The FBI are hiding something. They know more about what’s going on. I can feel it. I also have a terrible instinct that the murders will continue.”

“And it’s not your case any longer. You are a park ranger.”

“Said by the man who likely never followed rules. Right?”

There was no arguing with her. What was the point? “Just be careful.”

“Sure. Just like you.” We sat quietly for another five minutes, the awkwardness all consuming. “How’s managing the resort?”

Another laugh pushed up from my gut. “A pain in the ass already. It appears someone is stealing from the organization.”

“Really? You discovered that in what, four days?”

“I’m not as dumb as I look. Plus, one of my brothers is a whiz at numbers. The theft is subtle and was taken over time, but it’s there.”

“Maybe I can help you flush out the culprit.” Her smile was brighter than before.

“Maybe, but right now, you’re going to concentrate on ridding your mind of that jerk.”

Her face clouded up all over again at the mention of the cockroach. “You really think he’s dangerous?”

“I do. But I’ll find out if he listened to what I had to say.”

She thumped against the couch, returning her attention to the fire. “I would appreciate that.”

Another two minutes of silence kicked in.

“Can I ask one favor?”

I was surprised at the change in her tone. “Of course.”

“I have an emergency bag of dog food and some bottled water in my duffle. Will you feed Pepper and give her some water? I didn’t grab her bag of dog food on the way out.”

As before, she allowed her bravado to slip just a little and an ache developed in my gut. Or maybe my heart.

What was left of it.

“Of course. We’ll get her dog food tomorrow.”

“I can’t stay here forever.”

“You’ll stay here as long as I deem it necessary,” I told her.

She locked eyes with me and finally nodded, accepting my decision. “Thank you. One more piece of advice and I don’t care if you like it or not. Live a little. You know how to do it. I’ve been the lucky recipient of the special times when you do. It won’t kill you.” She seemed more content as I stood, winking at Pepper who immediately seemed to know what I was doing. Dogs were much more perceptive than any human I knew. I grabbed her duffle from the stairs, finding the emergency bag right on top. I couldn’t help but return my gaze toward her before guiding Pepper into the kitchen.

“Come on, girl. Let’s get you some food.” I grabbed two bowls from the cabinet, filling one with food, the other with water. I watched her eating for a little while, still trying to come to terms with having both girls in my life.

For now.

It was tougher in some ways than I’d thought about, but in truth, it almost felt natural. I rubbed my jaw, curious in my mind why I’d shaved. For Denise? Maybe. Or maybe I was tired of looking like a vagrant mountain man. Either way, I felt lighter. When Pepper was finished, I crouched down, rubbing the top of her head. “Girl, this is going to be a rough few days.”

I had a feeling she knew what I was saying. As soon as I returned to the living room, I noticed Denise had lain down on the couch. I wasn’t surprised to find her asleep. The night had been draining for both of us. I studied her for a few seconds, admiring her beauty all over again before picking her up and cradling her in my arms.

Her soft murmurs as she placed her hand on my chest were heartwarming. But I wasn’t certain if it felt right. I carried her up the stairs, jerking down the covers and placing her on the bed. After removing her shoes, I covered her with the comforter as Pepper jumped up on the bed to join her.

It was an impossible situation, the ache in my cock only increasing. I wanted to rip off her clothes, but even I wasn’t that much of an asshole. The labored exhale I issued caught me by surprise. Using the tips of my fingers, I brushed them down the side of her face. Pepper thumped her tail twice in approval. I did like this girl. Far too much. Everything in my body tingled.

Every. Fucking. Thing.

Which is why I curled my fingers, immediately backing away. I’d been spot on before.

Doing everything I could to rid my mind and body of the need for her was in her best interest.

My entire body felt like lead as I walked to the door, ready to turn off the light. “Sweet dreams, sweetheart. You deserve them.”