Sin of the Saints (Between Delusion and Sobriety Duet #2)

Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Bellcolor

I lie in the bed that belonged to the deceased couple, and breathe in the aged scents that cling to the pillows. It’s unpleasant, but it has a touch of charm to it. The knowledge that I’ll never exude a smell like that is like a knife to my heart. Humans fear aging, they see this natural process as rotting away their youth, whereas I pray for it because there’s nothing natural about me.

The door opens, and Hillel stands there, leaning against the doorjamb, looking at me.

“Are you hungry?” His question pulls me out of my bleak thoughts. I have to focus on a plan of action again, considering the situation I’ve gotten myself into.

“No, I’m fine.” I refuse to look at him. I know Hillel isn’t Bar, but when I saw Bar’s familiar face kissing Valentina I felt as if I’d been run over by a truck. But he wasn’t aware of that at the time, and I have to make sure I don’t give away that I’d seen them.

“You need to feed, Lilith. I’ve managed to get rid of the bell, but as long as we can’t get that collar off you, you need to reserve your strength.”

“Then maybe we should deal with it,” I grouse. The sooner I ditch this collar, the less vulnerable I’ll be to the wide array of threats hovering over my head. Libretto, Hillel, Valentina, the Army of the Saints… they’re all after Lilith. And I’m stuck in the storm like a deer in headlights.

“You’re welcome to join us for a nightcap, the three of us can discuss it.” He gestures outside the bedroom and I decide to accept his suggestion. I have to get as much information out of them as I can, so I know what my next steps should be.

I go down the stairs and find Valentina on the faded couch, holding a glass of whiskey. I let out a sigh of relief, I’d been worried the nightcap would include the blood of one of them, and I wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to lose myself in either. I sit at Valentina’s side, and Hillel holds out a glass of whiskey. Valentina clinks her glass with mine, and I pour the entire contents of the glass down my throat. Hillel’s already standing ready with a refill.

“So what’s the plan?” I get right to it. “Did you talk to your father? Maybe he can help us,” I address Valentina.

She shrugs nonchalantly. “My father’s loyal to the Council. He expects me to turn myself over to them, and accept any punishment they hand out to me. He thinks Libretto will go easy on me thanks to my father’s connections, since I’m to inherit his businesses in Chicago.”

“Okay, and that’s what you plan to do?”

“Are you really asking me, in the presence of the Devil, whether I intend to betray him as Libretto did?” She raises an eyebrow and glances at Hillel.

“Yes.” I stare her dead in the eyes.

“Of course not,” she immediately blurts out.

“But he’s your father.”

“Not my blood father,” she emphasizes, returning her gaze to Hillel as though seeking his approval. I rest my head on the back of the couch and take a sip from my glass. The whiskey dulls my nerves a bit. “Besides,” she continues, “Mr. Fleming taught us about the nightmare, it’s not a human nightmare but yours, Lilith. Not only did he betray our creator, he harmed the mother of the damned. That is an unforgivable crime.”

“She’s your creator.” I frown.

“I believe it takes two to create,” Hillel adds offhandedly, sipping his whiskey.

“Two equals,” I note. “And yet one is clearly different than the other.”

Hillel smiles at me. “So you always claimed, but you never meant it, did you? Why does that even bother you?”

“Be-because…” I want to answer, but fall silent. Why does it bother me? Maybe because Bar wanted to be my equal, while Hillel looks at me like I’m inferior and that irritates me, infuriates me even. “It doesn’t matter now. What matters is how we deal with Libretto. Now that you’re awake, can you overcome him and banish him from the lands of Adam?” I note Hillel’s jaw tensing and Valentina shifts uncomfortably. “What’s the big deal?” I look from one to the other.

“I’m afraid he’s gathered too much power during his time in this realm. He’s stolen too many souls from me.”

Valentina nods. “But you’re his weakness. I saw it in him during my service to the Council. He’d watch you obsessively on the monitors. He’s getting sloppy. If you managed to evade him while in his presence and the presence of the other Council members, it means he loses some of his strength around you.”

“Great,” I say optimistically. “I can seduce him into meeting me alone, and you can deal with him and send him where he belongs.”

“Not while you have that collar on your neck,” Hillel states the obvious and my face falls. “You mustn’t be impulsive as you’ve always been.”

“I’m not.” His choice of words anger me. He might be refusing to accept that Lilith hasn’t erased my identity, but I intend to shove that down his throat every chance I get. He won’t erase me, as the Saints try to erase Lilith. “Bar would be able to tell us more about the collar,” I whisper.

The glass in Hillel’s hand shatters, and silence falls upon the room. Valentina’s pupils expand and my blood freezes in my veins as the scent of Hillel’s blood rises in my nostrils. Damn it.

“ Bartimaeus knows nothing, I can guarantee that.” He shifts his gaze from me to Valentina. “I believe it’s time for us to have some higher-quality drinks, no? His voice is hoarse and Valentina nods energetically, enraptured by the power of his blood. “Come to me,” he gestures, and Valentina hurries to obey. Bile rises up in my throat as I watch her stand up and kneel in front of Hillel.

He reaches his hand out to her, and she greedily licks up his blood. Her moan is so loud that it makes my blood quiver. I want to wipe that smug smile off his face, I want to hurt Valentina for her actions that cause me pain, but I say nothing and don’t move a muscle. I freeze in place.

Hillel smears the rest of his blood on Valentina’s face, and she rears her head back with open delight. I breathe deep – the smell of their neediness is even heavier and thicker than the smell of Hillel’s blood. He caresses Valentina’s chestnut hair and draws her face to his. She reaches a hand out to his crotch and unzips his pants. I’m focused only on Hillel’s eyes, which never shift their piercing gaze away from me. His clear blue eyes, his golden hair falling over his forehead. He’s so beautiful it’s almost unreal. And if it weren’t for the dark aura around him reminding me who he really is, I’d mistakenly think an angel was manifesting before me.

It’s completely fucked up.

My heart is pounding and I feel my blood pulsing in my temples. And just to make it even more twisted, Hillel closes his eyes and sharply inhales the smell of my need. Good God, I’m really fucked up.

Valentina’s quick and loud sucking sounds ring out along with Hillel’s grunts as she blows him. He’s enjoying what Valentina’s doing to him, but it seems he’s getting much more pleasure out of the way my body’s reacting to the scene unfolding before me.

My head’s spinning and I’m forced to put the whiskey aside. I wonder if they put something in my drink, because it makes no sense for my feelings to be so out of sync with the commands being sent to my body by lust, which my fucked-up body is hurrying to obey.

I caress myself, my skin nearly at boiling point, and Hillel’s smile expands the more I spread my legs before him. I slowly raise the hem of my dress. He lets out a deep moan as he sees that I’m not wearing panties, and dripping with desire. He reaches out and in an instant rips Valentina’s black dress off her body, leaving her in a black thong. The sight of her ass as she kneels before him ignites my deepest longings. My motions across my pussy are slow, but strong and sure. I shut my eyes just for a moment, to take in the intoxicating scent of Valentina’s need. And when I open them, I see Hillel’s finger beckoning me to approach.

I don’t even hesitate as my body pulls itself up from the couch and I kneel behind Valentina. Goosebumps form on her skin as I inhale her into me, so close. Her body trembles as I run my long, sharp fangs over her, and she holds her breath.

Valentina once told me: You should feel comfortable with your body, every female body is a unique work of art by Mother Nature. Everyone’s different and special, and I promise there’s no man who’ll shy away from you when you stand before him naked and offer yourself to him.

I wonder if God created Lilith this way just so He could gain pleasure from her. The hollow Adam was always blind to the power of her body, but no more. Not when Lilith opened his eyes. She was the one who’d let lust erupt. She was no longer God’s own property

How can this be a sin? Does that mean God is the first sinner in the world? How do His Saints not see that?

At this moment I know Valentina was right. And it’s not just the men who won’t shy away, women will also desire the female body, openly or in secret. And as I lean forward, pulling aside the thin string of fabric and licking her needy womanhood, my mind goes blank and heat spreads through my belly.

Valentina grunts and shifts her hips against my tongue, confirming that she’s enjoying this as much as my own traitorous body. I lick, suck and slip in my fingers like her body contains within it a longing I’ve searched for my whole life.

The source of the world.

Gustav Kurbe’s painting from Mr. Fleming’s lecture flashes in my mind. From the womb you came, to the womb you shall always desire to return…

As this thought clouds my mind, Valentina pulls away from Hillel’s cock and her face turns to me. His eyes lock onto mine and I’m frozen in place, unable to move beneath his sharp gaze.

“You’ll taste sin,” Hillel says, “and you’ll remember there’s no place for the chaste in our world.”

Valentina presses her lips to mine, flooding my mouth with the taste of Hillel’s seed. I close my eyes, bitterness and saltiness in my mouth.

She suddenly bites my tongue, but doesn’t hurt me. I open my eyes and withdraw, only now seeing Hillel on his knees, sheathed deep within Valentina. His expression is all filth and mockery.

“Time to wake up, Bellcolor,” Valentina says, and I fall back on my ass in a panic, frozen as Hillel savagely fucks Valentina and she moans aloud, unrestrained.

My whole body shivers as I fear actually recognizing the monstrosity unfolding before me.

“N-Naama?” I ask with some difficulty.

She smiles darkly at me through the curtain of her hair. Hillel slaps her ass and then tangles his fist in her hair, forcing her to raise her head before me. She doesn’t answer, but her cold stare opens a bottomless abyss within me.