Sin of the Saints (Between Delusion and Sobriety Duet #2)

Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

Bartimaeus

I stare out the window overlooking the field. Belle’s having a tough time keeping up with the rest of the group, and I notice Miss Kingsley’s irritated expression. There’s a knock on my office door, and I turn to see Ellis appear before me.

“The administrator wants a detailed report on Belle’s progress. We’re approaching the next quarter of her stay with us,” he says.

I get her medical file from the drawer and follow Ellis silently. I need to arrange my thoughts. What do I tell him? The truth might push her towards oblivion. She’s been regressing these past few months. I’ve tried to cover it up as much as I could, but I failed. The other staff members have already reported her deteriorating condition to the administrator as it related to her daily activities. If they knew what was happening in my office, and worse, in her head, they’d immediately revoke my license. I really believed wholeheartedly that our sessions were helping her, but from the moment we crossed the line she’s continued to withdraw and sink into whatever’s been haunting her, refusing to let her be.

Ellis knocks on the door to the administrator’s office and opens it. We enter and sit down across from him as he gestures for us to enter.

“For the record,” he begins, “I must note that a decision has already been made if there’s been no improvement in the condition of the patient Bellcolor Fermi.”

“It doesn’t work that way, damn it. Won’t that be a self-fulfilling prophecy if a decision’s been made for a scenario where her condition has worsened? Has a parallel decision been made in the event her condition improves?” I shift my eyes from the administrator to Ellis, and they avoid eye contact, each looking elsewhere in the office. He wants her condition to worsen. He’s waiting for it.

“But her condition has improved in the past.” I must insist.

“That’s exactly what you said last time, and the time before that. She’s toying with you, and you refuse to admit it. Psychological treatment combined with psychiatric-drug treatment has not produced satisfactory results. She’s a complex case.” I hate when he calls her that. “But this time she’s returned to us after another relapse, and her condition has been poor for far too long, too dangerous. We have no choice but to admit our past failures and take more drastic measures. The demon in her is stubborn and we must be more so.”

“What treatment are you talking about? In recent years, an innovative new treatment was approved that—”

The administrator interrupts me and raises his hand. “It’s not an approved treatment, but don’t be concerned, it’s proven its efficiency throughout history.”

Suddenly I understand his choice of words. More stubborn, and thus crueler. I make fists of my hands and force myself to breathe so I don’t explode.

“Throughout history? But—”

“Let us worry about that, Dr. Abano.”

“I won’t allow this. I’m her therapist.”

“I don’t need your permission, Dr. Abano. I’m in charge of this place and all the patients within, and I’m your employer.”

I look at Ellis, who sits silently beside me, and wordlessly ask him to intervene. He shifts uncomfortably in place, and clears his throat. “You have the final say,” Ellis tells the administrator, ignoring my pleading glances.

I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. Why is he siding with the administrator? Belle always spoke of him fondly, and I see how other staff members are with her. Did he fool me with his caring?

“Then prepare the treatment room in the basement. We don’t want to stir up anything among the other patients. I want all staff members present; it’s been years since we’ve had such a complicated case. They usually take their own lives before we’re able to help them. We’ll pray for her at the coming Sunday mass, then she’ll undergo treatment in the Lord’s pool. He will be with us, and lead her to salvation.” The administrator gives us a satisfied nod and my insides turn over as he uses the Lord’s name to legitimize his crimes.

“You don’t intend to get her father’s permission?” I explode.

“No need, she signed the papers when she arrived here.” He opens his desk and throws said papers at me.

“She wasn’t aware of what she was signing!” I wave the papers around. “I doubt she’s interested in becoming your personal research subject!” I throw them back at the administrator.

“It doesn’t matter, a signature is a signature,” he answers with phony calm. I notice a twitch in his brow and the muscle tensing in his jaw. To hell with him, as far as I’m concerned.

“This is unethical!”

“That’s how it is, the Church is on our side and so long as you remain faithful to it, it will be faithful to you as well.” His threat isn’t particularly subtle, but it’s enough to shut me up. He sharply rises to his feet, tightly gripping the edges of the desk. As far as he’s concerned, the meeting is over and he gestures for me to get out of his office before he really loses it. Ellis rises after him and turns to leave the office. I bury my face in my hands and refuse to accept this.

“It’s for her own good, Dr. Abano,” the administrator says, and nods towards Ellis.

But I don’t believe him because I notice the dark smile he’s unsuccessfully trying to hide.