Six Inches Deep in Mud

​Chapter 23

Chapter 23

T he wave of shock caused by the announcement of my engagement continues to shake Longbourn. Mr Collins cannot recover, and he declines to join us for dinner; the upset has not affected his hunger or thirst, though, so he still requires that food and drink be taken to his chamber.

Hill and the servants congratulate me, while Mama asks Mary to write urgent notes to be sent to the Gardiners in London and to the Phillipses in Meryton.

My sisters are still stunned — as expected when we broke the news to Lydia; the scenario is difficult to believe even for me. My tumult of emotions is so strong that I know more than feel my felicity.

“But Lizzy, how can you marry Mr Darcy after he treated poor Wickham so cruelly?” Lydia enquires. I have no time to reply before Mama does so.

“What are you saying, child? Stop this nonsense! Never say that again! Why do we care about Mr Wickham? I am sure Mr Darcy did nothing wrong, and it is not for us to judge his actions. Mind your words, or I shall send you back to the schoolroom every time Mr Darcy is here! The same goes for you too, Kitty!”

“But Mama! I did not say a word!”

“No, ‘Mama’, my girl! A single word to upset Mr Darcy, and you are gone! Do you not realise what this marriage means for our family when your father dies? A day ago, I believed the best choice for your sister would be to marry Mr Collins, and now she is engaged to Mr Darcy! You should feed his horse if needed!”

My mother’s scolding vexes Lydia, and I feel offended on my and Fitzwilliam’s behalf. But I know Mama means no harm; she just does not understand me. Instead, I choose to overlook it. There is nothing to be done with her, regardless. I only hope she will adjust her manners the next time she sees Fitzwilliam, but I know the chances are unlikely.

“Oh, I cannot wait to laugh at Lady Lucas. She must have been so proud that Mr Collins proposed to her daughter instead of mine. What a sly person that Charlotte is. Lizzy’s friend, indeed! All this time she has been trying to seduce Mr Collins — that is why they kept inviting him there. What a shock it will be for her to hear whom Lizzy is marrying! I shall visit her tomorrow — I cannot wait to see her face!”

“Mama, please listen to me,” I say in an attempt to temper her. “Mr Darcy is a very private man. He does not like to have his business discussed in public.”

“But this is not business, Lizzy, this is the news of your engagement. I am sure it will be in the newspapers. Gracious me! You must marry by special licence, Lizzy! I should have known something was happening when he danced the first set with you. And yet I suspected nothing. Foolish me!”

Mama continues in the same way till late into the evening, and I give up any attempt to reason with her. Papa looks at me intently, more often than usual. I know he still has some doubts, which, I trust, will disappear soon.

Jane is the most silent of all; I can see her distraction, and when she congratulated me and said she was happy for me, I saw little happiness on her face.

“Dear Jane, please tell me what you really think,” I ask her later that night when we are finally ready for bed. “I imagine you were surprised, but I can see you are concerned. Do you disapprove of my engagement?”

“Disapprove? Oh no, Lizzy! I never disapprove of anything that makes you happy — and you do look happy, Lizzy. But I admit I was astonished. I never suspected such partiality on either part. May I ask when it happened?”

“I am not sure when it began exactly. When we stayed at Netherfield, Mr Darcy and I had the chance to better know each other. And to clear up some of our past misunderstandings.”

“You kept the secret very well, Lizzy.”

“Forgive me, dearest Jane. I was not certain of anything until yesterday. As you may remember, Mr Collins said Mr Darcy was engaged to his cousin, and I did not know what to believe. I did not dare tell you something when I did not dare trust a happy conclusion myself.”

“I understand that, Lizzy.”

“Is that why you looked so troubled?”

“No…I am truly happy for you, Lizzy. But…”

“Yes?”

“Mr Darcy never betrayed his admiration for you, and yet he proposed… He seems to be a decided man who knows to act when he acknowledges his desires.”

“He is, indeed. May I assume you expected the same from Mr Bingley?”

“I know I have no right to expect anything, Lizzy. And yet…at the ball he let me believe…I thought…I know he will go to London soon…”

“I do not know Mr Bingley’s intentions, but his admiration for you is beyond doubt. He might only need some privacy to speak to you. I was fortunate to find a moment alone with Mr Darcy yesterday morning, and we had the chance to speak.”

“Perhaps… Forgive me for being so selfish. I am indeed happy for you, dearest Lizzy.”

Her distress pains me, and I embrace her for comfort; I wish I could encourage her, and I hope Mr Bingley will follow his heart, but I cannot offer any promises. My joy is so complete, though, that nothing can ruin it. Minutes later, Jane is asleep, and I am lying in bed, so happy that I know I shall not sleep. But it does not signify; I can very well spend the night just thinking of my betrothed. My Fitzwilliam. My Mr Darcy.

***

I must have been exhausted, because not only do I not know when I fell asleep, I also oversleep. I wake up only when Jane calls my name repeatedly, insisting that breakfast is ready and Mama is waiting for us.

“Lizzy, my love, sit, sit down. I have not slept a moment the entire night. I cannot believe you are engaged to Mr Darcy! Will he call today? If not, your father must send him a note, inviting him to dine here tonight. You must tell me what his favourite dishes are, so I can ask Cook to make them.”

“I am sure he will call, Mama,” I answer, avoiding the question of his favourite dishes. I am ashamed to admit that I have not paid enough attention to my betrothed to know his tastes.

“There is no need for me to send any note, my dear. Mr Darcy has sent one already and says he and Mr Bingley will call later,” Papa interjects, causing Mama to cry out with joy.

“Oh, Mr Bennet, how you do like to tease! I shall insist they stay for dinner today. Surely, he cannot refuse the mother of his betrothed. I must go and speak to Cook. We need to have at least some beef. And fish!”

“Mama, you trouble yourself too much.” I try to put her at ease — and fail.

We are ready to eat when Mr Collins appears; he is carrying his luggage.

“Mr Bennet, Mrs Bennet, dear cousins. I am sorry to inform you that I must return to Kent today. I cannot stay longer. Unfortunately, I cannot join you for breakfast either. I am in quite a hurry.”

“We are sad to hear of your sudden departure, Mr Collins,” Papa answers in earnest. “But we shall try to bear the disappointment as best we can. We wish you a safe journey, and please convey our best regards to Lady Catherine.”

He bows solemnly, then leaves without another word.

“Well, thank God he has gone!” Mama huffs. “How rude of him not to congratulate Lizzy on her engagement! Such a horrible man. I could not stand him! I think he has gone to have breakfast at Lucas Lodge. I could not care less! I cannot wait for Lizzy to visit Lady Catherine with Mr Darcy and for Mr Collins to die of envy!”

“I doubt that will happen soon, Mama,” I reply. I am quite certain that Mr Collins will suffer harsh treatment from Lady Catherine and that their cordial relationship will be broken when she hears of my engagement to her nephew.

“My dear Mrs Bennet,” Papa says. “I am tempted to remind you that only yesterday you were eager to force Lizzy to marry that horrible man, as you call him. But I shall refrain from my impulse. Let us eat, so I can return to my library.”

Breakfast is served, and Mama continues to question me about Mr Darcy with increasing enthusiasm, which amuses and worries me at the same time.

Around noon, Aunt and Uncle Phillips call, seemingly to confirm the incredible news conveyed in Mama’s note. They stay about an hour, mentioning that the whole of Meryton is aware of Mr Collins’s engagement to Charlotte Lucas.

“Mr Collins and Charlotte are nothing compared to Lizzy and Mr Darcy!” Mama says. “Mr Collins may take Longbourn after Mr Bennet dies. I am sure Mr Darcy will provide us all with a good home!”

“But are you sure, Sister? Are you absolutely sure that Mr Darcy will marry Lizzy?”

“I am! I hope so. Lizzy?” Mama asks me for the tenth time.

More than one repetition of assurance is needed, and my success is still limited. I feel offended by their disbelief, but happiness turns my discomfort into amusement.

The visitors leave, and we all go to rest. Despite sleeping for so long last night, I still feel tired after all the agitation, and a little bit of peace and quiet is welcome. With my eyes closed, I imagine myself alone with him, in London or at Pemberley.

The red marks on my chest are not visible any longer, but the trace of his lips on my skin and his caresses exploring my body will be forever clear in my mind. First kisses, first caresses. So improper, so enchanting, so alluring, so maddening. What will the next ones be like? When? He and I — alone —is a dream ready to turn into reality, but there are still so many small details about which I do not dare think. Where shall we sleep? Shall we share an apartment? The image of me sleeping in his arms stirs all my senses, and a wave of heat takes me by surprise, leaving me hot and breathless. I do not indulge myself with more such reflections.

***

Later, we gather in the drawing room, awaiting our callers while occupying ourselves calmly. Papa is still in the library and has asked only to be informed when our guests arrive, and Lydia is upstairs, still forbidden to put her foot to the floor. Mama’s anxiety is growing, and she keeps glancing towards the window.

“Mama, they are coming! Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley!” Kitty finally exclaims, and Mama panics, paces the room a few times, then finally resumes her place.

My heart smiles before my lips do as Fitzwilliam enters the room, followed by Mr Bingley.

They greet us, beginning by paying their respects to Mama, but she jumps to her feet, hurrying to my betrothed.

“Mr Darcy, I cannot describe how honoured we all are by your visit! We have been waiting for you. I have barely slept at all since I heard the news about your engagement to Lizzy. I am speechless! Please come in, come and sit. I shall fetch Mr Bennet. Mr Bingley, you are welcome too, of course.”

“Mrs Bennet, I thank you for your welcome. I am honoured to be here,” Fitzwilliam replies with composure, and I notice his smile, which brings dimples to his cheeks. “I am also honoured that Miss Elizabeth accepted my proposal and glad to have your blessing.”

“My blessing? Of course, of course you have it! I am overjoyed too!”

For several minutes, nobody can speak over Mama. Papa appears from the library and calms her down slightly, but her agitation is still visible.

The invitation to remain at Longbourn for dinner is made enthusiastically and is readily and happily accepted by the two gentlemen. Unlike previous times, Fitzwilliam is more talkative than his friend and even smiles more.

“Mr Darcy, may I say that you look exceedingly handsome when you smile?” Mama says as if guessing my thoughts. “I mean, you have always been tall and handsome, but smiling suits you very well!”

He looks at me, surprised and somehow uncomfortable, then says, “Thank you, madam. I cannot take credit for being tall, but I shall try to smile more.”

“Well, well, I did not expect this! Teasing suits you too, Mr Darcy,” Papa says. “I suspect Lizzy taught you a bit of that.”

“She did,” Fitzwilliam says with another glance at me.

“Mr Darcy, will you purchase a licence for the wedding?” Mama asks.

“Mama, please!” I try to interject. “Let us not bother Mr Darcy.”

“Such a question does not bother me, I assure you,” he answers. “Yes, I plan to do that. Bingley and I shall go to London the day after tomorrow, and I shall complete all my business there. Obtaining a common licence is part of that.”

“Oh…will you stay long in London?” Jane asks.

“No,” Mr Bingley responds. “A few days, I believe. Our plans are not fixed yet.”

“But we intend to return as soon as possible,” Fitzwilliam adds.

There is a little bit more conversation, then my beloved betrothed says, “Mrs Bennet, Mr Bennet, would you mind if I ask Miss Elizabeth and Miss Bennet to join me for a stroll in the garden? I feel a little exercise would be beneficial before dinner.”

“We do not mind at all, Mr Darcy,” Mama responds. “You may do whatever you please, sir. We would never mind.”

My cheeks heat with embarrassment, while Papa rolls his eyes and Fitzwilliam smiles.

“I thank you for your generosity, madam,” he replies, then looks to me for acceptance.

“A little exercise would be perfect! I was about to suggest it too,” Mr Bingley interjects.

“Jane and I shall be ready shortly,” I assure them, hoping I understand their little plot correctly.