Six Inches Deep in Mud

Chapter 24

A few minutes later, all four of us are walking briskly towards the back of the house, in the direction of the little spot of wilderness on the side of our lawn, which is not only pretty but also slightly protected from the view from the windows. I take my betrothed’s arm, without waiting for him to offer it, with a familiarity and nonchalance that I cannot account for but feels natural, while Jane and Mr Bingley walk behind us. I am not wearing my gloves — for a good reason. Fitzwilliam is not wearing his either.

“Miss Bennet, do you mind if I speak to your sister for a few moments?” Fitzwilliam asks Jane.

“No, of course not,” she responds. We take a few steps aside, letting Jane and Mr Bingley pass us, and Fitzwilliam puts his hand over mine resting on his arm. Our fingers entwine, and he stops, then turns a bit so we can look into each other’s eyes without him letting go of my hand.

“How are you, my love?” he enquires in a voice loaded with emotion and love.

“I am happy,” I reply, gazing at him. That is the pure truth. I cannot speak anything other than the truth while looking into his eyes, seeing all his heart in them. He slowly brings my hand to his lips and places a soft kiss in my palm and then one on the inside of my wrist. I expect it, yet still I quiver.

“And you, Fitzwilliam? How are you bearing the chaos in my house and Mama’s adoration?”

“Reasonably well,” he admits, smiling at me and showing again a glimpse of those dimples. I am certain they are part of Mama’s newly acquired affection for my betrothed, besides his ten thousand a year and large estate. “It is nothing compared to the chaos at Netherfield.”

“Oh, tell me about it. How was it yesterday after our departure?”

“Beyond chaos, beginning with your cousin’s visit.”

“Yes, I have been told about that. What did he want?”

“My approval to propose to Miss Lucas instead of you. Apparently, my aunt recommended he marry one of his cousin’s daughters, and he had chosen you, but he found you not obedient and respectful and appreciative enough to be a clergyman’s wife, especially one blessed with the patronage of my noble aunt. His words exactly. Miss Lucas seems to have displayed all those qualities in a convincing manner.”

“I cannot believe Charlotte would bind herself to such a foolish, ridiculous man only to secure a husband! She has been my friend all my life, and I have always admired her wisdom and judgment.”

“My love, perhaps her wisdom and judgment were her advisers in making this decision. While I agree that Mr Collins is somewhat ridiculous, his situation in life is not bad, and I believe he will be a better husband than many others.”

“You are correct, of course. But I would have never agreed to marry him. Considering my family’s situation, that might be deemed a lack of wisdom and judgment, and it would have been selfish of me, but nothing and nobody would have induced me to accept him.”

“I believe that,” he says with a smile in his voice. “I am quite certain that you would have refused me too, had I proposed at the wrong time.”

“I might have, if my feelings for you were not appropriate to ensure our mutual happiness in marriage. Fortunately, you proposed at the perfect time,” I tease him.

“I aim to always do things at the perfect time, if possible,” he teases me back.

“Undoubtedly. That is why you suggested this… timely stroll? For a little exercise?”

He lets out a small laugh.

“Poor Bingley, he was stunned when I gave him the news yesterday. I think he stopped breathing, and he stared at me without blinking for a long moment. Then he burst out, asking how it was possible that I advised him to be cautious and examine his feelings carefully before he proposed to Miss Bennet, only to disregard my own counsel and propose to you all of a sudden.”

“He does have a point.”

“He might have one, based on what he knew. But I had long ago examined my feelings thoroughly, and I was certain of their nature when I proposed to you. I was cautious, too, until I was sure. I only give him advice that I follow myself.”

“So…is he proposing now?”

“I hope so. I cannot bear to hear him complaining about his misfortune for another day. If he does, and supposing he is successful, would you mind having a double wedding?”

I stop, looking at him; he is smiling so charmingly that my heart melts. Unwisely and recklessly, I slide my hands up to embrace him, and I lift my face to his, rising up onto my toes. He hesitates for a very brief moment before his lips touch mine fleetingly.

“Speaking of wisdom, your mother gave me permission to do whatever I wanted, but I would rather not overstep my boundaries. I do not wish to upset your father. He was reluctant enough to give me his blessing.”

“I trust his reluctance is gone now. Have you informed your family?” I ask when we resume walking.

“I have only written to Georgiana. I could not wait to share the happy news with her. I shall inform the others in person. I also wrote to Lady Catherine, but I suspect Mr Collins will tell her regardless.”

“Will she be furious?”

“Furious? Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst were shocked and furious. Miss Bingley even dared to demand an explanation from me for proposing to you! Lady Catherine will be well beyond furious. I expect the worst from her. She has never seen reason if it goes against her own plans and desires. You know, it just crossed my mind how much alike Lady Catherine and Caroline Bingley are,” he attempts to jest.

“I could not care less about Miss Bingley. But I am sorry to cause problems in your family, my love. Some of your friends will probably disapprove of your choice of a wife too, especially if Lady Catherine makes her opinion public. Not to mention the other members of the family.”

“They might, although I do not have that many close friends. The friendly acquaintances, perhaps, but I believe most of them, while they will gossip and speculate for a while, will generally have too much sense to join in the scorn. The family…the only ones that matter to me are Georgiana and my cousin Richard. I also hope the Matlocks will act decently, even if they do not immediately approve.”

“I hope the same. I know how important your family is to you. The only thing that matters to me is your happiness, Fitzwilliam.”

He stops walking and turns to face me.

“My beloved, as your husband, I am sure I shall have such extraordinary sources of happiness and delight that, regardless of anyone’s opinion, I shall have no cause to repine.”

This time he puts his arms around me, and I caress his face, brushing my thumb over his lips.

“I shall, by no means, suspend any pleasure of yours, my love.”

His eyes and his lips smile all his warmth at me as he places a kiss on my hand, then they turn mischievous.

“This is a promise I shall insist on you keeping later , my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.”

***

Mr Bingley took advantage and did propose during that stroll, and at dinner, my mother had the privilege of having two future sons-in-law at her table, a joy that stretched her nerves more than anything else has ever done. Papa told her that she looked happier than me and Jane, which Mama did not even deny. Fortunately, she bore the situation reasonably well and managed to keep a fair balance of affection, hugs, and embarrassment between the two gentlemen.

Fitzwilliam and Charles left for London as planned, causing Mama an entire week of further turmoil, as she still feared my betrothed might change his mind and run away.

As for me, I had reasons for distress too, sadly better justified. Before his departure, Fitzwilliam handed me a letter. He said there was a matter of great importance that I must know, but he had not found the time to discuss it at length as he did not want to mar our moments together. The letter contained the disturbing truth about his real dealings with Mr Wickham, as well as that man’s attempt to persuade Miss Darcy to elope. The reading of it left me tearful and angry with the scoundrel, who had claimed to be a victim and dared to insinuate himself into our family. Now I could easily understand Fitzwilliam’s poor disposition when he first arrived in Hertfordshire, as well as his concern about his sister’s well-being that induced him to hastily leave for London. And it made me conscious, again, of my own foolishness and selfishness in doubting him while he was away.

The same letter contained his intention to reveal Mr Wickham’s true character to Colonel Forster and, upon further advice from him and my father, to the people in Meryton. However, he had no time to do that, as just days later, a huge scandal burst out when Mr Wickham was caught in a ruinous situation with Mary King. Mary’s uncle rejected any attempt at an understanding upon learning the circumstances and accused the officer of spreading fabricated rumours and deception, then he removed his entire family from Meryton.

By the time Fitzwilliam returned, some arrangements had been made between him and Colonel Forster to move Mr Wickham’s commission to another regiment in the North. I find this arrangement too generous for that despicable creature; if it had been down to me, he would have been moved to the most northerly part of the world, somewhere in the wild and cold wilderness where he could not bother anyone.

Papa also received a letter, from Mr Collins, which I also read. Mr Collins expressed her ladyship’s utter disapproval of my marriage to Mr Darcy, which she called outrageous and claimed it would pollute the shades of Pemberley. There were many other offences that Mr Collins diligently conveyed and which filled two pages, but they did not touch me at all. I had known what to expect, and there might be worse to come down the road.

Papa, however, was happy to reply,

Mr Collins,

I am sorry that Lady Catherine disapproves of her nephew’s choice of a wife.

Mr Darcy seems exceedingly happy with the engagement and eager for the forthcoming wedding. I trust his judgment, and I fully support him. I see no choice for you but to comfort Lady Catherine as best you can.

Please be advised that I intend to share this letter with Mr Darcy, and he might be equally displeased with his aunt’s displeasure.

I wish you a happy life and the best of luck in your marriage. Hopefully, Lady Catherine will at least approve of this particular one.

Yours sincerely, etc

A week after their departure for town, Fitzwilliam returned with Charles and two licences; the double wedding is planned for a week’s time.

With Christmas fast approaching, we are all anxious to put aside the agitation and begin our new lives. Aunt and Uncle Gardiner have arrived for the wedding, and I am pleased how easily they are bonding with Fitzwilliam. My aunt’s connections to Derbyshire and my uncle’s knowledge of business are subjects of conversation that have eased their interactions.

Mr Bingley’s sisters do not plan to attend the wedding — they claim a nasty cold that prevents travelling and have conveyed the most insincere congratulations. We have all expressed our sincere understanding and our best wishes for a hasty recovery. As Fitzwilliam confessed to me, his friend is rather happy with the prospect of being alone at Netherfield with his new wife.

I can easily understand that. Fitzwilliam and I plan to leave for London after the wedding, and no insistence from Mama will change our plans. Our brief engagement has been a time of sweet, tender delights that we have shared in a few moments of stolen privacy. The more time I spend with my Fitzwilliam, the more I want. I have spent nights imagining his kisses and caresses, and my mind often scolds my heart and my body for their responses when he is close to me. That is not even true — my responses are equally improper when I merely think of him, even if he is not near.

***

Finally, the day of our double wedding has arrived. Despite it being a cold and cloudy winter day, curiosity has brought together many people from Meryton, gathered in front of the church. From Fitzwilliam’s family, only Colonel Fitzwilliam has come, and I understand his sister’s absence; Mr Wickham is still in the area, preparing to leave for his new commission, and the risk of an encounter is significant. Besides, it would not be worth the effort for her to travel to Hertfordshire since we shall be in London and will see her later today.

I look forward to meeting my new sister, and, considering the strong bond of affection between her and Fitzwilliam, I am sure I shall love her dearly.

My sister Jane is standing next to me, sharing the same wedding ceremony and happiness, like in the dream we had when we were young girls; it is almost too beautiful to be real. And yet, it is, for I can feel Fitzwilliam’s arm slightly brushing over mine, and I can barely attend to the words of the service, which end with a choir of congratulations.

I hold Fitzwilliam’s arm till we are outside the church, but there, we separate again, as we have to take our farewells from our family and friends.

In the middle of the crowd, Charles is laughing, and Fitzwilliam is only smiling. They are the opposite of me and Jane. There are still people who consider Fitzwilliam and I are completely different, too different to be a good match. And they are right — we are not a good match; we are a perfect one! We are not similar in nature or manners, but we complete each other.

Eventually, all the goodbyes have been said. My family has been invited to come to London for Christmas, but Papa and Mama have declined and instead agreed to come to Pemberley in the summer.

As much as I love my family, I am relieved to be in the carriage and to wave to them as we begin our journey.

I am finally alone with him; his arms surround me the moment we leave Meryton. We do not speak much; the time for words has passed.

In a few hours, we shall be in our home, in the privacy of our chambers. The master and mistress’s suite. By the end of the day, I shall be his wife — in all possible ways.

I shall need some time to become accustomed to all that it means to be Mrs Darcy. But I am willing to learn everything he will teach me and to work hard to ease the burden of his responsibilities. To find my place as Mrs Darcy, as his wife, and, God willing, as the mother of his children.

For now, I have already found my place in his arms, my heart beating next to his, and I know we shall be the happiest couple in the world; as long as we are close, no obstacle can be too difficult to overcome.

THE END