Smolder (Georgia Smoke #6)

• Thirty-Seven •

She was jealous. That was good.

Sebastian

This was the first Breeders’ Cup I had missed in years. The last time, it had been because I was sick with the flu.

Fall sat in my lap as I stared up at the screen. Hughes Farm had a horse in the next race, but I couldn’t bring myself to give a damn.

Since she’d arrived, Fall had been trying to get me to fuck her. The top she’d been wearing was long gone, and she had taken my hand and put it between her legs to show me she was bare under her short skirt.

I played with her cunt to make her happy, but my head wasn’t in it. I was too sober. Her hair was too thin, her tits too hard, and she smelled like perfume. Determined to get my attention, she threw her leg over mine to straddle me, leaning closer to rub her nipples in my face.

“You know how much I love fucking with an audience,” she told me, then ran the tip of her tongue over her red lips.

I considered it. Maybe if I got the blonde who was with Teller right now and had two at one time. But the image in my head didn’t spur my interest either.

“Uh, Sebastian,” Wells called out.

I reached up to roll one of Fall’s nipples between my fingers, although they weren’t the right color either.

“What?” I asked, glancing at him.

He pointed the bottle of beer in his hand toward the door. “I’m gonna guess she’s here to see you.”

Shifting in my seat so I could see the door, I froze the moment my eyes locked on blue eyes that I couldn’t even drink out of my dreams at night.

“Oh, wow,” Fall said, rubbing her cunt against my jeans. “She’s hot. I’ll eat her pussy. You’d like to watch that, wouldn’t you?”

Royal stood there, her eyes shifting from me to Fall. The pain in her expression almost had me dumping Fall onto the floor and jumping up, but then I remembered. What she’d done. How she’d left me. Her lies.

She straightened her shoulders, and she lifted her chin slightly as she began walking toward me.

Fucking hell. What was she doing here?

I’d been sober going on forty-two hours now, and she was about to screw it up. Her hips swayed in the jeans she was wearing, and there was a sliver of her smooth, flat stomach showing beneath her long-sleeved crop top. I wouldn’t let her see me react to her. She wasn’t going to get to know what this did to me. Seeing her. Remembering the girl curled in my lap in the cabin while I read to her. The dirty words coming from that sweet mouth.

NO! She wasn’t fucking sweet. She’d played me.

“Sebastian.” My name coming from her mouth was torture.

“Don’t recall putting you on the guest list,” I replied, hating that everything in me wanted to touch her. Hold her. Beg her to tell me why. That she had a reason.

She glanced nervously at Fall, although she was trying to act as if a topless woman wasn’t straddling my lap, struggling with holding the fake smile in place.

“Oh, yeah. I, uh … well …” Her eyes did a quick survey of the room. “I didn’t know it was a party. I came to talk.”

She stopped as Fall placed her hands on my shoulders and let out a moan while she rocked over my cock, which wasn’t anywhere near hard enough for the sounds she was making.

There it was again. The slight glimpse of hurt before Royal dropped her eyes to the floor and shook her head.

“Never mind. This isn’t …” She stopped whatever she was going to say, then spun around and headed back to the door she’d entered.

“That’s a shame. Feels like she was doing it for you. This is the hardest you’ve been since I got here,” Fall purred, too close to my ear.

Grabbing her waist, I lifted her off me, setting her on the floor, and stalked after Royal. She had no fucking right, walking into my stables uninvited after what she’d done. She didn’t get to come in here and fuck with my head and just leave. Jerking the door open, I exited the lounge and headed after her perfect, round ass.

“You come on my property, interrupt me getting fucked, and then walk out!” I shouted.

She stopped, but she didn’t turn around.

“You came to say something, Royal. Fucking say it. God knows I’m gonna need a bottle of whiskey either way once you leave. So, at least make it worth it.”

The searing pain in my chest was almost debilitating. Just having her this close. Knowing that in a few long strides I could touch her. I’d thought she’d already done all the damage to me she could possibly do.

I was wrong.

“I’m sorry. This was a mistake,” she replied with a waver in her voice.

“I think you made it clear already what a mistake I was. Did you have to show up and make me look at you again to drive it home?” I asked, taking another step toward her. “It wasn’t necessary.”

Her shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath.

Why was she doing this to me? Did she get off on causing me agony? Was that it? Making me want to rip open my chest and get my fucking heart, soul, whatever it was that she had claimed so thoroughly out of me so I could breathe again.

“I came because …” she said, then turned around to look at me. The trail of tears down her cheeks didn’t match the defiant gleam in her eyes. “I came because I thought maybe … maybe it hadn’t been fake. Maybe I was wrong and you felt something for me, no matter how small. But I can see you are fine. I …” She shook her head and wiped at her cheeks. “I need to get to work.”

She started to turn back around.

Not bolting after her and demanding she say more was almost impossible. But I knew to survive this—to survive her once again—I couldn’t be that fool.

“You left me. You got in Merce Dancastle’s car and then went to his property.” I tossed out that fact, and she stilled.

Even now, looking at her, I wasn’t so sure I didn’t want to tell her I’d forgive it all. If she’d just let me hold her one more time. How fucking weak was I?

“You lied to me. Helped me look for my father when you knew exactly where he was. You’d broken his nose and arms. You said there were no more lies between us, but there was. What did you expect me to do? Stay and let you explain that? How was I supposed to trust you?” Her tone wasn’t accusatory as she spoke. It wasn’t even angry.

Her eyes searched my face, looking for something. What, I didn’t know. If I could fucking lie to her right now and deny all that, I would. But I couldn’t.

“Yeah, I did. And looking back, I’d do it again. The way he talked about you … I had no control over my actions. Rage. I was full of fucking rage.”

She blinked and wiped at a tear that had escaped.

“I waited,” I told her. “I was so sure you had a reason for leaving me. That you’d come back and explain. That I’d get something from you that would make you running away make sense.”

She threw her hands up in the air. “My father told me what you’d done to him. He said he had to come get me, that I was being used. I went out to talk to him and see it for myself, but Merce showed up. He said you were going to take my Grams and use her as leverage to get my dad back because he’d escaped. YES! I believed them. Both of them. What they told me filled in holes in the things that had happened!”

I shook my head. “See, that’s where we are different. Because I stood in the mafia boss’s office. A man who could have me killed and no one would do a damn thing about it. And I watched you get in that fucker’s car. And although my chest was being cracked the fuck open as you betrayed me, all I could do was defend you. To survive it, I had to believe there was a reason and that you …” I paused, not sure if I could give her this power. To know how I felt. How deeply it went for me.

“I had a rea—”

“That you loved me! I thought you loved me, Royal. You fooled me. I fell for the hustle. I was the fool who saw a pair of pretty blue eyes and lost his goddamn head.”

“I did—I DO love you! And it was me who was the fool that got played. You made sure to send word that I was a fool with that stupid quote from The Great Gatsby ! I got it. It shattered me!” she shouted as tears streamed down her face.

I watched as she gasped for air and wrapped her arms around her chest. Then, she spun around and began to hurry toward the exit.

I broke into a run after her, grabbing her arms and pushing her back against the wall. She couldn’t scream those words at me, then fucking walk away. My chest rose and fell hard as I stared down at her. Hating how that face of hers haunted me. How just the thought of her was a daily torment.

“That quote was about me,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “I said to tell you, It should have said that the worst thing a girl could do in this world was to use her beauty to make a man her little fool .”

She closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose. Her bottom lip quivered.

I wanted to believe her. I didn’t give a fuck what test she’d failed. I’d forgive her anything if she loved me.

“They tested you,” I told her. “I didn’t know about it. But it’s what they do. Your father did as instructed, and you failed.”

Her long, wet, spiky lashes outlined her eyes, as she stared up at me. I’d give anything to live the rest of my life in that cabin with her. No one else. Just us.

“Sebastian,” Fall’s voice called, and I tensed.

That was not what I needed right now. When I turned to look back at her, she placed a hand on her hip.

“When are you going to come back and finish getting me off? You left me with a wet pussy.”

Fucking hell.

“I need to go,” Royal said as her hands shoved at my chest to get me to move.

I stepped closer, holding her so that she couldn’t slip free. My cock found life the moment it touched her body.

“Change of plans. Go find Wells or Teller,” I called out, turning my gaze back to Royal.

“You sure you want to do that? The sight of her has your cock so hard; it might bruise my stomach.” Royal’s tone was icy.

She was jealous. That was good.

“The only time my cock has gotten hard in three weeks is the moment I set eyes on you,” I told her.

She licked her lips, and her breathing quickened. “I find that difficult to believe, considering she was straddling you like a cowgirl with her tits in your face when I walked in.”

The corner of my lips quirked. “Careful, Ace. You sound jealous.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “I told you I love you. Did you think I wouldn’t mind watching you with another woman?”

There was a fucking disaster between us. One we had barely started to work through. But I didn’t care about any of it. Not if she loved me. I’d accept it all. I’d forgive her for stabbing me in the back if that was the case.

“You love me?” I asked, brushing my thumb over her lips.

“Yes.”

“You left me, Ace. You shredded me. Tore my heart out of my chest.”

“I didn’t know,” she said, her hand sliding over my right pec.

Her touch was like the sweetest balm in the world. I closed my eyes and let out a hum of pleasure before looking at her again.

“I thought you were using me.”

I bent my head until my lips hovered over hers. “I was. I was using your perfect cunt to reach fucking nirvana every chance I got.”

A breathy giggle bubbled out of her, and I slid a hand down to cup her ass, pulling her tighter against me.

“My orders were to use you for information. Make you trust me. Feel something for me. Whatever it took,” I admitted to her. “But I don’t think I ever got the chance. You became my obsession long before you trusted me.”

Her gaze dropped to my mouth, then lifted back to look me in the eyes. “Is that it then? I’m your obsession? It’s not love?”

A grin tugged at my lips. “Some might define this as love. But that’s a basic word. Entirely overused. What I feel for you is more expansive than that.” I brushed a kiss over her lips. “There was no beauty in my life until you. I set out to charm you, and instead, I ended up being completely enchanted.”

Royal pressed her lips to mine gently. Every horrible second that I’d endured the past three weeks melted away. She was here, in my arms. Her sweet taste reminding me just how addictive she was. Why my damn soul had shriveled up to die without her.

“I don’t want to ever lose you again,” she said against my lips. “We tell each other everything. No more secrets.”

I pulled back, knowing if I didn’t, I’d not remember what I needed to tell her if she kept rubbing against me like that.

“In that case, I need to tell you that I know where your mother lives, her husband’s name, where they work, and the fact that you have a ten-year-old half brother.”

Her eyes went wide as she stood there, staring up at me. Talking about the woman who had left her while I had her soft and sweet in my arms was the last thing I had wanted to do, but I couldn’t chance keeping something like this and her finding out. Losing her was a nightmare I never wanted to relive.

“Why? How?” she asked, confusion in her eyes.

I sighed. “Another thing you should know about the family. We can and do get all backgrounds and details of everyone we deal with. Knowledge is power. I hate that woman for leaving you with that bastard, but if you want to see her, I want you to know I have the information you need.”

She dropped her gaze and stayed silent for a moment. I wanted her lips on mine again. Her body pressing against me. Not this torn, confused expression. I fucking hated upsetting her.

Finally, she lifted her eyes to mine. “Not right now. But maybe one day.”

I nodded. “You say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”

She slid her arms around my neck. “I took you from your party.”

“You did. But I have no complaints.”

“You sure? Looked like you were having fun when I walked in.”

I chuckled. “There’s my jealous girl.”

“Do you want to go back in there? That was a horse race on the screen I saw. Is it one of yours?”

“It is,” I told her, pressing a kiss to her neck, then inhaling. God, I’d missed that smell. “And nothing on this earth is going to get me to let go of you. Fuck the damn races.”

She laughed softly and arched her neck for me to reach more. “I could go in there with you. I’ll sit in your lap. Replace the other girl.”

I paused and pulled back to look at her. “Ace, there is no fucking way in hell you’re going to take off your top and show these tits to anyone else.”

She grinned at me, and I realized she was teasing me. She wasn’t serious.

“Is there somewhere we can go so I can sit in your lap, naked?”

I reached down and grabbed her hand in mine, then started toward the stairs.

“I take it, there is?” she said, having to jog to keep up with my long, determined strides.

“I have a bedroom upstairs,” I told her, stopping at the bottom step and picking her up so I could get up there faster.

The door opened across from us.

Wells stepped out, shirtless. His gaze went from Royal to me, and then he grinned. “Thank fuck!” he said, then turned around to the room full of people. “I think we just got Sebastian back!” he shouted to the room.

I smirked and headed the rest of the way up the stairs, taking them two at a time with her in my arms. I was getting a second chance, and this time, I’d make sure she never had a reason to doubt me again.

In the darkness of our world, when you found your light, you didn’t fucking let it go.