Somewhere New (Isle of Doughnut #1)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CALLUM

W hile my non-existent refractory period meant that as soon as Aster dragged me into the bedroom I was good to go, his body took longer to catch up. Not that he wasted that time. Lube and condoms dropped onto the bedside table, Aster pushed me on the bed and kissed across my face and chest and legs, slowly worshiping every inch of my body as he undressed me.

I flipped him onto his back and did the same. It was understandable that he would expect me to have sex with him. Most of the time, I muscled my way on top, desperate for him to fall apart beneath me. But I was grateful he hadn’t put up a fight when I asked to do it the other way. I didn’t think I would be able to rein in my wolf while pressing inside him.

I’d have more control when receiving, or at least brain space to focus on holding my teeth and hands in their human shapes.

Aster had been less bothered about having sex with me than the fact that I’d never done this before. He hadn’t realised how inexperienced I was, but I hadn’t hidden it. I had no special moves or tricks. I’d gotten lucky that the only person I wanted to be intimate with considered tentative exploration sexy.

I pushed down his pyjama bottoms, his chest already bare, and sucked his hardening penis into my mouth. His earlier release coated the smooth skin. I groaned as I licked along the underside, popping off to chase every drop of his cum from across his shaft and balls.

‘Don’t do that too much,’ Aster whined. ‘Otherwise things will be over disastrously soon.’

I lifted my head from his groin, jealously eyeing the pearly liquid at the tip of his penis. I tongued at it, but darted away when Aster bucked into my mouth.

‘Yes. Good. Not doing that is good.’ Aster threw a hand over his face and hitched his hips once more into the air. He lowered his arm as I crawled up his body. ‘On to the main event.’

The lube was odourless. I sniffed at the slick wetness Aster pumped onto his fingers, satisfied I wouldn’t be distracted by a chemical smell. He rubbed his fingers together and nudged me onto my back.

He rose up on his elbow, his expression pinched. ‘Um. So. This is going inside of you. Inside a special place. But there are, um. Certain preparations. For this activity.’

‘I’m clean.’ The low growl of my voice shocked me. ‘I’ve been practising fingering myself in the shower.’

‘You’ve been practising fingering yourself in the shower,’ Aster repeated slowly, his expression turning dazed.

I lifted up onto my elbows and kissed him. ‘I’ve wanted to have sex with you too,’ I murmured against his lips. ‘I’ve been putting my fingers inside myself in the shower for a while. I wanted to be ready for you.’

The confirmation that I hadn’t forced myself on anyone loosened the tight grip I’d held on my desires. I could freely express them now. I didn’t have to fear I’d lose sight of what Aster wanted. I hadn’t lost control of myself before, so I didn’t have to be so hypervigilant about it happening again.

‘Fucking hell, Cal.’ Aster pulled back from my lips and stared at me. ‘You’re either speechless during sex or the king of dirty talk. Good to know.’

I lowered myself to lie flat on the bed, my words fleeing again as Aster swung his leg over one of mine. He hiked my other knee up and gently pushed my foot out across the mattress.

Panic fluttered through me. I’d never been so exposed to another person before. Aster had touched my bum, had expressed a lot of appreciation for it, but he’d never been so close to it.

His face broke into a wide smile. ‘Every part of you is perfect.’

I blinked, my nerves melting away. I didn’t have time to consider what the expanding warmth in my chest meant before I was occupied with much more pressing feelings. Like Aster’s lips closing around the head of my erection and one slick finger tracing delicately around my hole.

The twin sensations were overwhelming, even more so when the tip of his finger slipped inside. I closed my eyes and fisted my hands in the blankets bunched around me, my hips moving in disjointed thrusts. I couldn’t decide if I wanted more of the wet heat of Aster’s mouth or the gentle stretch of his finger.

I got both. Aster licked over my shaft and balls, while one finger became two and three. A litany of sounds broke forth from me. I was helpless to stop them, helpless to do anything but writhe and moan as Aster drew indescribable pleasure from me.

I’d been fingering myself in the shower in preparation for this, but the awkwardly angled stretch couldn’t compare. Aster probed deep inside me. He grinned around my penis each time he brushed my prostate and I groaned extra loud.

It took me a few seconds, too dazed by pleasure, to realise Aster’s mouth and hand had retreated. I opened my eyes to him rolling a condom over his erection.

One day, I hoped we could have sex without anything between us. Maybe we could get tested before Aster left the island. They weren’t necessary, since I couldn’t carry or pass on any diseases, but if it meant Aster would forego a condom then I’d go through a thousand pointless examinations.

‘You ready, Cal?’ Aster asked.

I let out a shuddering breath and nodded, because I was ready for this but also suspected nothing would be able to prepare me adequately for being so intimately connected to another person. Not another person, one person. My person. Aster.

He lifted my other knee, spreading my legs obscenely wide. ‘Fuck, Cal,’ he whispered.

He fell forwards, his chest crashing into mine, and kissed me frantically. I was glad of the reprieve, for a return to something familiar. I pressed my tongue into Aster’s mouth, clasping at his short hair.

Words and feelings bubbled up inside of me. I wanted to concentrate purely on sensation, to be overwhelmed by the physical, but I couldn’t be this close to someone and feel nothing for them .

I felt a lot for Aster. Too much, maybe. I was thankful for the vice having sex clamped over my vocal cords. I wouldn’t blurt out something I’d regret.

Aster gentled his kisses, then raised his head. He stared down at me, and for a second I could convince myself I wasn’t the only one feeling too much. Maybe I wasn’t alone in wishing we could have our whole lives together, rather than dwindling weeks. Maybe it wasn’t just me who wanted to join together like this a thousand more times.

Aster reached between our bodies. ‘Ready?’

I nodded again, my eyes fixed on his as he shifted his hips forwards. There was no pain, but the knowledge he was inside of me was overwhelming. Through a series of tiny movements, Aster gradually eased in more and more. All of my focus zeroed in on the fullness of being joined together.

He slowed to a halt, pressed fully inside. His eyes hadn’t left my face for a second, not when I squeezed mine shut or threw my head back. It made my chest ache. Even in the midst of his pleasure, he cared for me. He’d watched for any hint of discomfort, ready to slow or retreat.

I lifted my face to kiss him. He moaned against my lips as his hips jolted back, then shunted forwards.

‘Sorry, sorry.’ Aster winced. ‘I’m absolutely going to take this slow. This will be the gentlest humping in the history of sexy times.’

That sounded fine. Considerate. But I wanted Aster to lose control. I wanted him to chase his pleasure in me. I trailed my hands down his sides and gripped his hips. Pushing with my thumbs, I inched him out of me, then slammed him back inside.

We both groaned. And Aster’s resolve broke. He planted his elbows and knees on the bed and used the leverage to push harder. My fingers dug into his soft skin, encouraging him to keep going, never stop.

‘Fuck, Cal.’ Aster’s words were a broken whisper, spoken in the odd moments when our panting mouths didn’t press together. ‘You’re perfect. I can’t get enough of you.’

I can’t get enough of you. I wanted to say it back. I hoped my low groans said enough. I couldn’t trust myself to form words right now. Before Aster had entered me, I’d been close to admitting the truth to myself, but now all reason and logic had fled. My head filled with a resounding chorus.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Even in my sex-confused brain, I knew I couldn’t say that out loud. But I felt it. With every jolt as Aster brushed my prostate and every kiss he pressed into my skin.

I loved this man. Deeply, irrevocably. I’d fallen for him, hard and fast. There was no going back.

Aster’s thrusts became erratic. ‘I’m close.’

I’d been edging along the precipice of my own orgasm ever since he’d entered me, but as his penis pulsed inside me, I couldn’t hold it back. Throwing my hands out, I gripped the bed sheets and willed my claws to stay inside. I moaned, long and low, as my release coated our heaving bodies.

In a slow collapse, Aster’s arms gave out and he fell onto me. I held in a whimper as his softening penis slipped out. Another time, I’d ask him to stay inside until he hardened again.

‘That was fucking incredible,’ he murmured against my chest. ‘I know you don’t have a frame of reference, but that was good. We are ruined for all others now. If any sexual experience was going to render me speechless, it was this one. All words are gone.’

I smiled as I ran my hands up and down Aster’s sweat- slickened back. I didn’t trust myself to reply, three words still running riot inside my head.

It was alright that I couldn’t say them. I didn’t want Aster to feel bad when the time came for him to leave. He hadn’t wanted anyone to get hurt when this finished, and he didn’t need to know that when he departed, my heart would rip in two.

That wasn’t happening yet. I held him close, smearing my release across more of his skin. We had time before he had to leave. We’d do this again and again, and I’d store up a hundred memories to see me through the rest of my life.

I didn’t love easily but when I did, it was binding. I wouldn’t love anyone else like I loved Aster.

I had to make the most of every moment until he said goodbye.