Somewhere New (Isle of Doughnut #1)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

ASTER

W iggling. That was what I was doing. Lucas had come up with the name for the weird dithering dance I engaged in when my brain was full to bursting point and I couldn’t concentrate on any task and all my sentences came out half formed and, well, yeah.

Frank had given me too much to think about. An afternoon in his company taught me more about my powers than any of the lessons Dad had cobbled together out of things Mum might have said to him. Even when I left Doughnut and my powers returned to their normal measliness, Frank had helped me see they would always be there. I could do great and wonderful things.

Callum’s epic freak-out had less than ideal timing. I understood why he doubted he could trust me, but the emotional roller coaster he’d taken me on left my already frazzled brain uncomfortably saturated. All this new knowledge battled with the deep ache in my chest that potentially Callum would come back to the cabin and tell me to leave. I hoped Bonnie would confirm I was the most trustworthy of beings, but there was a chance she wouldn’t. What if she freaked out about my powers too?

‘I need to calm down,’ I said to the goats trailing me as I wiggled between sitting on the sofa and fiddling with appliances in the kitchen and half unpacking my suitcase. ‘I need to do calm things.’

Lucas had helped me make a list of de-wiggling activities on my phone. I pulled it up now. Number one was talking to my dad.

‘Not an option.’

Dad’s unflappable calm might hold the power to ease me down from the extreme heights of wiggliness, but I didn’t want to explain this situation to him. Callum hadn’t meant to lash out, but Dad wouldn’t see it that way. He was protective with a capital P . I wouldn’t ever take Callum home and introduce him as my boyfriend, but I wanted Dad to think well of him. So communication with father dearest was ruled out.

Activity two: a long bath.

‘That, I can do.’

Baths at home were essentially a potion I dipped myself in until I came out all wrinkled and lazy. I mixed together every dried flower that promoted calm and relaxation, then stewed in the steaming water until whatever had caused the wiggliness melted away.

Running a calming bath was more difficult with the help of two inquisitive goats. Since I’d let them into the bedroom, they’d taken that as an invitation to follow me everywhere. Albert had chewed on my bag strap while I’d dithered over whether to read the huge book Frank gave me and Tim had bleated like a tiny commander when I sporadically unpacked my suitcase.

They insisted on sampling every one of the dried flowers I added to the bathwater. I could have shut them out of the bathroom, but since a key component of my wiggles was talking to myself, having the goats around made me feel marginally saner.

‘Not for you,’ I grunted, tugging my bright pink boxers from between Tim’s teeth and dumping them in the sink with the rest of my clothes. Callum had a talent for stopping the goats eating everything in the cabin that I lacked. ‘I’ve already sacrificed far too many items of high-quality attire to your unstoppable appetite.’

Stymied in his mission to devour my underwear, Tim skipped over to the bath and rose up onto his hind legs to peer at the water. He fell back to the floor when flower-scented steam billowed around his face.

I stepped into the tub and took a deep breath as I lowered myself into the water. I submerged myself up to my chin, then did some more deep breathing.

Problem was, no matter how much deep breathing I did, I couldn’t get over the twin facts that I was an epic magic user and Callum might ask me to leave Doughnut.

‘Not working.’ I hauled myself out of the tub. Albert shook off the water I splashed over him as I dried myself.

Dressed in my unicorn pyjama bottoms and one of Callum’s jumpers—I couldn’t currently hug him so this was the next best thing—I worked through the rest of Lucas’s de-wiggling list. I sipped calming tea and watched my favourite episodes of Schitt’s Creek and petted a nearby animal. None of it stopped my brain from feeling like a writhing mass of new information and terrifying possibilities, but at least it distracted me until the cabin door burst open.

Callum stood on the threshold, chest heaving and eyes desperate. In a good way. His breathing calmed and his gaze softened as his eyes raked over me.

I didn’t wait for him to take off his boots before I threw myself into his arms, my wiggliness finally settling down. I should add hugging Callum to Lukey’s list.

He held me for a long time. ‘I’m sorry, Aster,’ he murmured into my hair.

‘You don’t need to be.’ I rubbed my cheek on his coat. ‘I’m glad Bonnie gave me her stamp of approval.

‘I wish I didn’t need it,’ Callum began, but I cut him off.

‘I get it.’ I gave him one last squeeze, then stepped back. ‘So long as you trust that I’m not going to hurt you, I don’t care.’

‘I do trust you.’ Callum’s gaze was intense. He might be saying other things—deeper ones—with those simple words, but I didn’t want to read too much into it. This thing between us definitely wasn’t a fling but it couldn’t be long term either. Neither of us was allowed to develop proper feelings.

My stomach rumbled as Callum unlaced his boots and shucked off his coat. ‘Haven’t you eaten?’

I was too distracted by a shiny trail smeared across his jumper to answer his question. ‘What is that?’

Callum looked down, then wrinkled his nose. ‘Bonnie’s snot.’

‘Gross.’ I followed him over to the kitchen, where he flicked on the oven and grabbed the hash browns I’d shoved in the freezer. It felt wrong to eat them without Callum. ‘Why are you decorated with your sister’s nasal effluence?’

Callum tipped the hash browns onto an oven tray. ‘We talked about the storm. She thought she was to blame.’

I shook my head as Callum slotted the heaped tray into the oven. There must be a predisposition in his family to take on responsibility for things they shouldn’t.

‘She was upset.’ Callum gestured at the slimy lines across his jumper, evidence of Bonnie’s humanity. ‘Do you mind if I shower?’

I kind of did. Not the actual showering, but the being-apart-from-each-other-again bit. Much like a boundaries-deficient goat, I followed Callum through to the bathroom. Watching him undress was never a chore, but sadly he disappeared behind the shower curtain.

‘I think things might be better between me and Bonnie now.’ Callum’s voice held a hint of wonder, like the concept of being on speaking terms with his remaining sibling was something he’d barely dared dream of. ‘She didn’t want to talk about the storm because she didn’t want me to hate her, and I was scared she would blame me. That’s cleared out of the way now.’

‘Is it weird to say I’m proud of you?’ I perched on the closed toilet lid. ‘Does this mean you might come with me to lunch the next time Bonnie demands our presence?’

‘I don’t think I could handle the teasing. Let’s hope she doesn’t have another lunch while you’re on the island.’

The reminder that I would soon be gone stung, but I was easily distracted. The shower shut off and Callum pulled across the damp curtain. I would have—on another day—been in favour of derailing this conversation to get all up on that flawless golden skin. But even though Callum said he trusted me, I felt unsure of where things stood between us. Would everything revert to how it had been? Or would we have to work back to enjoying thrice daily orgasms together?

Perhaps purchasing the jumbo pack of condoms had been too optimistic. I trailed Callum into the bedroom and hungrily watched him dry himself. Re-clothing wasn’t one of my favourite things, but he looked good in a pair of jogging bottoms and a worn T-shirt.

I followed him through to the kitchen, where he washed and chopped a lettuce, then grated cheese. Tim demanded a bottle, which occupied me for a few minutes, before I went back to lingering like a clingy clinger around Callum.

The oven timer went off and Callum piled plates high with hash browns. He threw cheese on top and tucked lettuce to one side. As he brought my plate over, Albert was already eyeing the green stuff with interest.

Callum settled on the sofa, his thigh pressing into my leg. ‘Will you tell me about your afternoon with Frank?’

I paused with a hash brown midway to my mouth. ‘You really want to hear about it?’

Callum nodded. ‘I don’t have a problem with magic. I was worried about the lying.’

I tilted my head to the side, chewing a cheesy hash brown pensively. ‘How did you know I was lying, by the way? Did Kit call you or something?’ My brain skipped over that, since the answer wasn’t too interesting. ‘But anyway, let me tell you about the wonderful world of being a witch.’

It hadn’t felt particularly special before, but Frank had opened my eyes to what a great thing being a witch could be.

‘I can’t help but be a bit sad too,’ I said, after detailing my whole time at Frank’s. I picked up my final hash brown and placed the plate on the floor so the ravenous goats could have at the lettuce. ‘My dad did the best he could, but I’ve missed out. If Mum was still alive, she would have taught me this stuff.’

Callum placed a hand on my knee. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. If anyone understood the aching sadness of not only losing someone but also losing all the ways they would have helped you be the best version of yourself, it was Callum.

‘Hopefully I’ll get a chance to see Frank again before I leave but, in the meantime, he gave me a book. I’m always up for a bit of reading, but I’m not sure how helpful this one is going to be. I had a flick through on the drive up here. There are ace chapters about all kinds of magical things I want to try, like rings of protection and stuff, but there also chapters that have to be made up. There’s a whole section about mystical beings. I swear it said about fairies and werewolves. I’m an open-minded lad, but that stuff can’t be real.’

Callum’s face mirrored my incredulousness. ‘Frank gave you a book with information about werewolves in?’

‘Yeah, but I swear it’s legit.’ I reached over the back of the sofa to grab my bag. ‘I’ll show you. The erroneous mystical beings bit is one tiny section. The rest is great.’

I yanked open the zip. Another person could have extracted the book without revealing the sex supplies stashed in my bag. However, I pulled out the book and managed to not only dislodge the jumbo pack of condoms but also split it open so that the foil-wrapped packages scattered across the sofa and floor.

To complete the wonderful image, the tubes of lube rolled right into Callum’s lap.

Wonderful. So dignified. Exactly how I wanted to broach this subject.

Callum’s eyebrows perched high on his forehead as he picked up one of the expensive tubes. ‘I assumed you’d gone to the pharmacy for a medical reason.’

‘Um, no. Not so much.’ I dropped the bag and the book and tried to collect the condoms back into the ripped box. It went incredibly well. ‘So. I bought this stuff when everything was hunky dory. It’s not like I expect us to hop into bed right after everything that’s happened today and go straight to anal penetration.’

Callum’s face shuttered. ‘You don’t want to have sex any more?’

I abandoned my condom wrangling and focused on him. ‘That’s not what I said. I’m just not assuming we’re going to kick back off from where we were, or try something new. I’m okay with going slow.’

Callum stared at the lube in his hand. ‘You want to go slow?’

I shifted my weight. ‘No? Today was a lot, but I like you as much now as I did earlier. I want to get my hands and other parts on every bit of you.’

Callum looked up at me. I would have described the expression on his face as hungry. In an incredibly horny way. ‘I want that too.’

Wiggliness built in me again, but of a different kind. Ever since Callum and I started doing sexy things together, I hadn’t been this long in his presence without having an orgasm. My body was suffering withdrawal symptoms.

I grabbed the lube from Callum and placed it on the coffee table with the condoms I’d managed to gather. Then I rose onto my knees and swung my leg to straddle Callum’s thighs.

His hands flew to my waist, slipping under my—his—jumper. His fingers dug into my skin as I lowered my head and pressed my lips to his.

We both groaned. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one feeling touch starved. I figured a pre-orgasm before we moved on to the main event was a good idea. Otherwise I’d blow my load as soon as Callum put his dick in me.

Callum was on board with my plan. He widened his thighs, forcing me to rub over the bulge in his joggers. While he humped upwards, I ground against his stomach. Breath was hard to come by due to my reluctance to lift my lips from Callum’s for even a second. We’d spent too much of today not kissing. We needed to make up for lost time.

But as my balls drew up and sparking pleasure shot through my dick, I ripped my mouth from his. I lowered my head to pant into his neck. Callum lifted his hips a couple more times then let out the long moan I wanted to hear a million more times before I left the island.

I kissed the soft skin of his neck and rubbed my cheek across his beard while I caught my breath. ‘I can’t wait to have your dick inside me.’

Callum tensed. I raised my head to find a series of complicated expressions darting across his face. This was nothing like his normal reaction to my other—spectacular—sexual suggestions.

‘What’s wrong?’ I settled my weight on his thighs.

He bit his lip, faint blush creeping over his cheeks. ‘I was hoping we could do it the other way.’

Something inside my brain imploded. I was the first in line to call people out when they made assumptions about another person based on their appearance, so I guess I was a massive hypocrite. I’d decided that because Callum was bigger and stronger than me, he would automatically be a top.

Not that I didn’t want to be. My dick made a valiant effort to get hard again as I gaped at Callum’s blushing face .

‘The other way. Yes. Me in you.’ I nodded frantically. ‘This is good. Splendid. Marvellous.’

I’d done it before. Jamie was the definition of versatile, so I knew my way around topping. I licked my lips, recalibrating how I’d seen this event unfolding. Every type of sex so far with Callum had been incredible, but I wasn’t sure how I would recover from the surely mind-rearranging experience of being inside him.

Callum trailed his hands up and down my back. ‘I’d like to try it the other way too, one day. But for my first time, I’d like you to be in control.’

My post-orgasmic brain was too occupied with images of Callum beneath me, slick and wanting, so it took a couple of seconds for his words to filter through.

‘Your first time?’

Callum smiled shyly. ‘I’ve not had penetrative sex before.’

‘With a man?’ I clarified.

‘With anyone.’

My brain imploded again. Before I came to the island, Callum had been reclusive and emotionally stunted, but seriously. Who could look at this man and not want to climb him like a sexy tree?

‘You’re a virgin?’ I finally asked after much internal flailing.

‘I don’t think so.’ Callum shrugged. ‘After all the stuff we’ve done, I don’t think anyone would call me that.’

‘We’ve done,’ I repeated. I pressed my hands into the sides of my face, willing my brain to calm the fuck down. ‘Okay. Let me get this straight. Before me, you hadn’t done anything sexual with another person? ’

Callum’s brow creased. ‘I told you that I kissed—’ He grimaced. ‘You know.’

‘Yeah, but I didn’t know that was all you’d done.’

Callum stared at me. ‘Is this a problem?’

Wildly, I shook my head. ‘No. Not a problem. Not at all.’ I did some more pressing on the sides of my face. ‘Like, I’m the only person who’s been all up in your business. Fuck, Cal. That’s hot. It’s just, I didn’t know. I thought you had some experience.’

‘Why would that make a difference?’

‘I don’t know. I guess I could have made it more romantic or something? I could have checked in more, maybe. There should have been candles. Rose petals.’

Callum extracted his hands from under my—his—jumper and pulled at my wrists until I stopped clutching my face. ‘Aster, I’ve loved everything we’ve done together. I don’t want to change any of it.’ A look stole across his face, confident and bold. ‘What I would like is for you to have sex with me.’

‘Yes.’ I nodded with my whole upper body, swaying on his thighs. I scrabbled up and grabbed a handful of condoms and one of the tubes of lube. ‘Yes. Let’s do that.’