Somewhere New (Isle of Doughnut #1)

Chapter Forty

CHAPTER FORTY

CALLUM

I left coming down to the village until Aster was far enough away that even if I threw myself off the jetty and swam with all my might, I would never catch up with Errol’s boat. After spending the night with the scent of Aster’s roses perfuming my restless dreams, my resolve was low.

I didn’t care any more that Aster had said goodbye. I didn’t care that he had a perfect job waiting for him. I didn’t care that his life would be fuller and brighter away from here.

I just wanted him to stay.

Even in the midst of my roaring need, I recognised my selfishness. I’d made a decision before my mind was overtaken by ravenous desperation and I would stick with it. Reason would return at some point. I’d know I’d done the right thing.

But then I stood on the jetty, Aster so far away that the lashing sea stole away any hint of his scent, and he told me I wasn’t doing the right thing.

I felt bad that Errol let Aster believe I wouldn’t be able to hear him, but that didn’t stop me from listening to every word. And his every word blew apart the carefully reasoned arguments I’d made to justify pushing him away.

Aster wanted the job here. He wanted to stay on the island. He was only leaving because I’d pushed him away.

And he loved me. He loved me. He loved me.

Imbuing my voice with all the command a born wolf and second of an Alpha could manage, I shouted, ‘Turn the boat around.’

‘Fuck,’ Aster cried out when he fell sideways. My claws pricked my palms as I waited to see if he was alright. ‘A little warning might have been nice.’

‘Sorry, Aster.’ Errol’s apology was gruff. He’d have words with me over commanding him. ‘Just remembered I forgot something.’

In the distance—but growing closer—Aster rubbed his hip as he stood next to Errol. ‘Something super important? Like, essential enough that you’re going to make me face the werewolf I love and cause a whole embarrassing incident for me?’

I turned and walked up the jetty, closing my eyes to zone in on Aster’s heartbeat. My whole being protested putting even a millimetre more distance between us.

‘Fuck. Fucking fuck.’ Aster slapped something. ‘That arsehole’s walking away? He’s got the chance to actually say goodbye, and he’s running off like a stupid scaredy-wolf?’

The boat had chugged much closer by the time I turned back to the sea. I stood in the middle of the street, the island stretching behind me.

‘He better wait there,’ Aster grumbled. ‘I don’t care that this will be bone-crunchingly cringey. I need a goodbye.’

I sprinted down the jetty. On the last wooden slat, I bent my knees and jumped. Air whistled through my hair and the sea whipped by under my feet. Then I landed on the boat.

‘Fucking fuck me,’ Aster breathed. ‘Jumping into that valley was nothing to you, was it?’

I straightened and looked him in the eye, making no attempt to hide the mass of emotion threatening to spill out of me. ‘I don’t want to say goodbye.’

Aster blinked, walking from beside Errol to stand before me. ‘What?’

‘You said you needed a goodbye.’ I breathed deep of his wild scent. Fresh roses and long grass and warm fires and Aster Aster Aster . ‘But I don’t want to say goodbye to you.’

His eyebrows rose. ‘You heard that?’

‘I heard everything.’

His cheeks, already made rosy by the battering sea breeze, flamed brighter. ‘We need to have a conversation about your wolfy powers.’

I wondered if he remembered why we’d cut that discussion short. I ached with the need to touch him, but I had to make this right first.

‘Aster, I’m so sorry.’

He shook his head, scrunching his nose. ‘I don’t care about that.’ He reached up to coast his hands across the sides of my face.

‘I am sorry though. I?—’

‘Shut up, Cal.’ His hands gripped tighter and I leant into his touch until my forehead braced against his. ‘I don’t want to waste time with that shit. You don’t need to say you’re sorry, okay? Just tell me this: do you love me?’

I leant back to stare into his eyes. ‘I love you more than anything.’

‘Oh, thank fuck,’ Aster breathed, briefly looking to the sky before pinning me with his gaze again. ‘Do you want me to stay?’

I crowded into him, wrapping my arms around his back and burying my face in the crook of his neck. ‘Please stay,’ I said into his skin. ‘I never want you to leave.’

Aster pushed on my shoulders, but distance didn’t remain between us for long. His mouth came down over mine. My moan drowned out the waves lashing against the boat and the wind gusting past my ears.

Aster was everything. His lips on mine and his hands on my neck and his chest pressing into my chest. My hands curled into his back and my thigh slid between his legs.

‘No fucking on my boat.’ Errol reminded us we were not alone.

Aster broke away from me with a smile on his face. ‘Is that a rule you and Louisa stick to?’

Errol didn’t answer, but the corners of his mouth twitched.

My eyes flicked back to Aster as he tangled his fingers in my hair, bringing my forehead to meet his again. I breathed him in, my heart pounding with relief and joy and love. So many things I’d barely let myself feel, even as Aster and I became closer. I couldn’t feel them before, not fully. Not when he was going to go away.

Even though he hadn’t said it, I knew Aster was mine now. He wouldn’t leave me.

‘You know I do have to leave today, right?’ he asked.

Breath punched out of me. I reared back. ‘What?’

‘Cal. Cal.’ Aster didn’t let go of me, rising on his tiptoes to keep his face close to mine. ‘I have to go. I have to finish my master’s. But—and you better be listening to me right now, Callum Armstrong—I will come back. And once I’m here again, there’s no way you’re getting rid of me.’

His heart didn’t trip once. He had to leave, but only for a short while. He’d come back, and we would be together.

I relaxed into his hold. ‘I’ll miss you.’

I didn’t expect Aster to laugh. I expected him to burst into tears the next second even less.

He rubbed his face across my chest. ‘Sorry. I know I’m being weird, but you don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that.’

I smiled. I wanted to saturate my life with his weirdness. ‘Tim and Albert will miss you too.’

Aster’s hands flew to his mouth. ‘You called him Albert. You really do love me.’

I grinned. ‘I really, really do.’

Aster’s arms wound around me, pulling me impossibly close. ‘This is fucking incredible.’

‘Better than snowy mountains? Or the sun on the water? Or the dolphins?’ Errol piped up.

‘Yup.’ The thick thread of contentment in Aster’s voice made up for not having a clue what Errol was on about. ‘Callum is better than any snowy mountain slash hill and he’s prettier than the sparkly water and he’s way fucking sexier than any dolphin.’

I pulled back to look at him. ‘Thank you?’

Aster beamed at me. In his face, I saw my home and my future. He was everything. ‘You’re most welcome,’ he said, before tugging me into another kiss.