Spicy Sapphic Christmas

17. Bunny

SEVENTEEN

bunny

“We’ve got the finale songs figured out as well.” Bunny swallowed over the lump in her throat as Piper and Jo sat down, both sweaty and reaching for their water bottles.

They had all moved to the large dance room. Bea seemed as keen as Bunny was to see how the dance routine for Piper and Jo’s duet was turning out.

“That was fantastic. You weren’t kidding. The effect will be stunning, and your voices work beautifully together.” Bea rushed on with her praise before either Jo or Piper could respond to Bunny’s announcement.

Was Bea not as okay about the duet as she had told Siena? Truth be told, Bunny had only agreed to do the duet, she hadn’t even suggested it be the final set list. It didn’t sit right on her shoulders not to have the four of them signing together to wrap out the show.

She would talk to Siena about it later, and hopefully be able to convince Siena that all four of them should sing the final song, and it not be her reworked one.

“Are we all singing the finale?” Piper asked, her cheeks still red but her chest rising and falling a little slower now.

“Um, no.” Bunny would not show weakness or doubt about this. “Siena made the decision. The finale will be a duet between me and Bea.”

“Really?” Jo squealed and clapped her hands together excitedly. “Excellent. I was wondering why you two didn’t have a duet together.”

“We do. And we’ll be ending the show on it, apparently.” Bunny couldn’t look Bea in the eye. She distracted herself by looking at her cuticles.

“You didn’t ask for it to be the finale?” Bea asked.

Bunny shook her head, trying and failing to read the look that flashed over Bea’s eyes. “No, Siena makes all the final decisions on the set list. She has to run them by Allegra as well. So we don’t have much say ultimately.”

“So the order we’re practicing has already been approved?” Jo asked immediately. Bunny liked Jo. Despite the energy it took to put up with two high energy extroverts, she enjoyed seeing how quickly Jo’s mind worked behind the girl-next-door look. She couldn’t deny she had worried when they first met. Piper had a similar look, but with her long gangly height, Bunny had never mistaken her for an airhead. When she had first seen Jo, those thoughts had flitted through her mind, and they had definitely not been kind.

“The order of the first half has been approved. I’m waiting for Siena’s confirmation of the second half.”

“So we might not be the finale after all?” Bea asked, and this time the sadness in her eyes was obvious.

“Siena seemed pretty convinced that was what she wanted, but nothing is set yet,” Bunny answered, still trying to read in between the lines for what Bea wasn’t saying. Surely she understood that their time together was just that and nothing more.

“Can we hear you two practice it?” Piper asked, a far-too-innocent smile on her face. Bunny knew her too well, and didn’t like the look at all.

It’s a trap! flashed through her brain several times.

“Yeah! What song is it?” Jo asked, sitting on the floor crisscross applesauce, an expectant look on her face.

Bunny never supposed she would ever find another human being as constantly in motion as Piper, let alone another musician.

“ Baby, It’s Cold Outside ,” Bea answered before Bunny could, her gaze locked on Bunny’s face. They were trying to read each other, but they didn’t know each other well enough yet.

“Ew.” Jo looked as though she had just tasted something foul as she glared at Bea. “You hate that song. It’s horrible.”

“I’ve changed the lyrics. There will be no dubious consent in it.”

“Oh,” Jo and Piper said in unison. They looked at each other, smiled and then returned their gazes back to Bunny.

“So do we get to listen? Your voices are a brilliant combination. The perfect couple to end the night.”

Bunny’s breath caught in her chest.

“We haven’t tried it together yet,” Bea answered quickly. “Maybe after we’ve had some run-throughs alone first.”

Bunny furrowed her brow. From the beginning, Bea had been willing to dive into the rehearsals as though her life depended on it.

The thought stopped Bunny.

Because her livelihood, her plans and hopes, did rely on this event.

So why was Bea hesitating now?

“All right. Well, I’m done with this rehearsal then. Are we good to leave, Bunny?” Piper jumped to her feet as she asked

“Yeah, we’ve done enough for today.” Bunny nodded and shoved her hands in her pockets. She couldn’t tear her gaze from Bea, still trying to figure out what the hesitation was for. She couldn’t be embarrassed. They’d both fucked up enough songs by that point to know they weren’t perfect when it came to singing. So what else could it be?

“Excellent.” Piper spun on the balls of her feet until she faced Jo and offered her hands. Jo took them without words and let Piper pull her up.

“Jo, can I talk to you for a second?” Bea said, and after a strange look between the sisters, the two left the room together, Piper calling out that she would catch up in a moment.

“What are you doing, Piper?” Bunny asked as soon as the door closed.

“What do you mean?” Piper furrowed her brow.

Bunny looked Piper directly in the eye. They both knew exactly what she was talking about, but Bunny didn’t have the heart to say it. She’d already held Piper back enough when it came to her personal life, and she didn’t want to add more grievances to Piper’s list.

“Fine. Don’t tell me. But be careful, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Piper winked. “And just what have you been doing?”

“None of your damn business,” Bunny growled. She’d walked right into that one, hadn’t she? Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. But she’d never been one to kiss and tell. And she certainly wasn’t going to do that if Piper and Jo even had a chance at becoming something.

Piper laughed, knowing full well that Bunny would keep her mouth shut. She shook her head as she headed for the door. “You’re so easy sometimes.”

“Me?”

“Oh yeah.” Piper’s laugh echoed through the room as she left. Her departure left a hollow feeling in Bunny’s stomach.

“Hey.” Bea returned on her own. She stood still as the door closed behind her.

Bunny ground her molars, her entire being trying to convince her feet to move and plant her body against Bea’s. But she held back, remembering the firm look that Bea had given her. The one that Bunny couldn’t read. They needed to resolve that.

“Why don’t you want to practice the song?” Bunny asked.

“You looked horrified, Bunny. I did it for your sake.” Bea spoke with her cool calmness. Did she not have any conflicting feelings about the song, about the two of them at all? She hadn’t seemed this icy since the first time they met. Bea reached forward and picked up the sheet music. “Are we going to practice it now?”

“Yes.” Bunny could be professional. She could be stoic. She could brush off Bea with the best of them. She’d had decades of practice already. And Bea wouldn’t be any different from any other woman she’d been with, right?

They ran through the song several times. Each time their voices leaned more into each other, and Bunny felt that free lightness that music gave her.

“That was beautiful,” Bea spoke softly, as though she worried talking too loudly might steal the beauty of the music that seemed to linger and hum around them. Bea leaned in closer on the piano bench where she’d eventually sat. It had been such a long day, and Bunny couldn’t blame her.

“It is. Siena’s right. This will show the true extent of your vocal range. Far more than the rest of the night.”

“She said that?”

Bunny nodded. “She did. But are you sure you’re okay to sing this song?”

“Your changed lyrics definitely remove the issue of consent, so I’m okay with it. Plus, I like the jazz beat you’ve added into it.”

It was just a compliment. Bunny kept telling herself that repeatedly. Bea hadn’t meant anything more by it. There wasn’t anything more between them other than sex.

But she was wrong.

Bunny knew it deep within her soul.

Raising her gaze up, she met Bea’s eyes. All words caught in her throat. The music stopped. She couldn’t hold back anymore. Bunny leaned forward, brushing her lips against Bea’s.

The softness sent a bolt of fire into her chest. It wasn’t entirely bad, but fear filled her at the same time. She didn’t want the softness, or the sweet desire for Bea that lingered after they had woken in her bed that morning. She’d left for a long run because she couldn’t handle the desire to stay warm under the covers with Bea wrapped around her. She couldn’t stop dreaming about waking Bea up, mouth between her legs, and the desire to do that every morning.

She had to stop this before it continued. Bunny had to be the one to put her foot down, because she could see the path they were headed down. And it wasn’t the one she wanted for herself. It wasn’t the one she could live with.

Bunny pulled back, forcing the fear back as far as she could. But she saw the concern in Bea’s eyes. And she longed to lean in again and put that concern to rest. Bunny’s lips were still damp from Bea’s mouth. Her chest was still tight because it was hard to breathe. Arousal still coiled through her uncontrollably.

Clearing her throat, Bunny said, “I’ve got some work to do this evening, so I’m going to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Bea answered, her voice wavering with uncertainty.

Before Bunny could give in to the urge to explain or say anything else, she grabbed her things and walked out, refusing to look back.

“What the fuck is that?” Bunny’s voice boomed around the rehearsal room days later. The mock-up costume designs didn’t match the drawings nearly close enough.

Bea, Jo, and Piper all jerked with a start and stared at her, jaws dropped. Confusion and even a touch of fear lit up their faces.

The whole day had gone well up until this point. Now, Bunny was pretty damn sure this whole charity event was a disastrous idea. She shouldn’t have agreed to work with two out queer women. They were going to drag her down with them.

The first two costumes had been acceptable, with maybe just a little too much color for Bunny’s usual look. But the last costume was completely over the line.

“They’re the costumes,” Piper spoke softly, and a new rage built in Bunny’s chest at being treated like a wild animal.

She wasn’t being unreasonable. They were. “Am I really the only one professional enough here to know these costumes are anything but acceptable? Is this a joke?”

“Stop being such an asshole,” Bea snapped out, and the two of them faced off eye-to-eye and glared at each other. “The costumes look amazing, and they’ll be perfect for the finale. You got your way in keeping the song heterosexual. In fact, you’ve gotten your way this entire time. Collaboration means give and take, and it’s your turn to give the rest of us a chance to be genuine human beings.”

“We’re not going out on stage at a Christmas charity event wearing those outfits.” Bunny pointed angrily at the outfit on the table. “Make it Christmas, Santa rip-offs, warm, cold, whatever you want. I’m not wearing a rainbow.”

“ Those …” Bea snarled back “…are the costumes Siena and Allegra have agreed on.”

“What?” Bunny’s face grew cold as all blood rushed to her feet.

“I ran them by Siena this morning, and she sent photos to Allegra. They both gave them the thumbs up.” Bea’s face was hard, her eyes narrowed.

Betrayal snagged Bunny’s heart and gave it a tight squeeze. Bunny shoved herself back from the table, stood up, and turned away. She stalked toward the back wall, her hands pushing through her hair.

What was Siena doing? She couldn’t wear that . None of them could. It was completely off-brand.

“What’s your actual problem with them?” Piper called out.

Bunny spun around instantly.

“Piper, don’t be dense. This is a Christmas event, not a rally. Those costumes will out all of us the moment we step on stage.”

“So?” Bea and Jo said together.

“I’m not having my music become the sidenote to my personal life and the rumors those piranhas keep going on about. I’m not parading around up there, taking away from everything I’ve worked toward. You think I’ve gotten this far in my career by waving that flag? It’s a target on our backs, not some claiming of identity.” Bunny waved her hand at the outfit again, and the snarl she gave it might stay on her lips forever.

“ We’ve worked hard,” Piper snapped back, and for a moment, Bunny froze as though caught in the headlights of a vehicle racing toward her. Piper rarely used that tone with her. So rarely in fact that Bunny could count on one hand the number of times Piper had truly yelled at her. “ We’ve climbed through every loop we needed to get here. But things aren’t the same as they used to be, Bunny. Times have changed.”

“I refuse to believe you. The same asshole bigots still run the show. They might say the right thing, but when it comes down to it, none of them would think twice about getting rid of us for less controversial artists.” She scowled at all of them, narrowing her eyes harder at Bea. She’d gone over Bunny’s head and gotten the costumes approved by Siena and Allegra, knowing Bunny wouldn’t agree with them. Of course she had. Bunny had fooled herself thinking that Bea might be the first person she’d met without an angle. Of course she had an angle, and here it was, holding a sword over everything Bunny had worked toward.

None of them said anything, and Bunny turned her back on them. Fear raced up her spine, and she dropped her head forward, trying desperately to catch her breath, to see some way through this nightmare. She needed some way through that didn’t leave her career and her life in a pile of cold ashes.

“Asshole bigots like me?” Siena’s voice had Bunny spinning around so fast her equilibrium shifted, making it impossible for her to focus her eyes.

Bunny hadn’t heard the door open. When she focused, she took in Siena, standing with her arms crossed just inside the door, a scowl to match Bunny’s on her lips, and a hurt look on her face.

“I didn’t know you were here.” The words rushed from Bunny’s lips.

“Would it have mattered?” Siena nodded over at the three others.

“I’m sorry,” Bunny muttered.

“Sorry for what?” Siena walked slowly toward them. Each click of her heels against the hard floor sounded like a nail in Bunny’s coffin. “For screaming at your fellow musicians while trying to bully them into your opinion?” Click, click. “For screaming so loud, I could hear you from the front of the studio?” Click, click. “Or for calling me a bigot?” Click. “Or sorry that I heard you?”

Bunny ran a hand through her hair, tugging at the ends sharply. “I didn’t mean you. You know I would never mean you.”

“I would hope not.” Siena pinned Bunny with her eyes, and for a moment, Bunny felt like a child more than a veteran in the music industry. And then it found its way into Bunny’s fears.

“These costumes, Siena.” Bunny wanted to shut up, but she couldn’t. It was bad enough she had all these sensations pulling her toward Bea, she didn’t need this complication as well. “I can’t wear them.”

“I came down here to check how everything was going,” Siena said, keeping her voice steady though Bunny could hear the anger wavering beneath. “Seems like a good thing I decided on a site visit today.”

“Siena,” Bunny tried again.

“We’ll talk about your issues with the costumes later.” Siena cut her another sharp look, thoroughly scolding Bunny. At least Siena was consistent. She never did take shit from anyone.

Bunny couldn’t handle it. She turned on her toes and shoved open the door as hard as she could. She needed some air. She needed the fucking run of a lifetime.

She needed to escape.