Spicy Sapphic Christmas

19. Bunny

NINETEEN

bunny

Bunny hadn’t slept.

She had gotten a meeting request from Siena for ten in the morning the next day. Her body and mind had taken turns tormenting her throughout the evening with fears and doubts colliding with anger and frustration.

At three in the morning, she had given up. She stood in the shower, letting the sound of the water lull her into calm. It was nothing but a false one for sure, but the relief made her almost weep. By eight, she felt like she’d run a marathon. By nine, she’d been ready to go for an hour, and she stepped out of her door to head to Siena’s offices.

The world bustled around her, people pushing and shoving on their way to their jobs or lives. Her irritation at those completely lost in their own world took on a whole new level of annoyance as Bunny pushed her way through.

At one time it had annoyed her that people didn’t recognize her and Piper when they were out in public. But it turned out, most people never expected to see anyone even remotely famous in their day-to-day lives, and it had just been her big fat ego talking. Today, Bunny had never been more grateful for the complete ignorance of the human race.

Before pushing open the door to Siena’s offices, she stood still and took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly, forcing her shoulders down from around her ears as she did.

Gripping the coffee cup as tightly as she dared in her right hand, she finally pushed open the door with her left. No matter what happened today, she wouldn’t walk in, or out for that matter, with her tail between her legs and the weight of the world visible on her countenance.

“Morning, Bunny.” Paula, she was pretty sure her name was Paula, greeted her the moment she stepped into the reception area of Siena’s office.

“Morning Paula. I have a meeting with Siena.”

“Oh, it’s Polly, and absolutely, I have you down here in the calendar. Just take a seat, and Siena will be with you shortly. Can I get you a drink?”

Bunny lifted the cup and shook it a little only to discover that there was no longer any weight in it. When had she finished it?

“Oh, that would be great.” Bunny felt her insides deflated like a flower in the summer midday sun. So much for not having her tail between her legs.

Polly was up out of her chair and taking the cup from her in seconds. “Coffee as usual?”

“Yes, please.” Bunny forced authority back into her voice, but she suspected not even Polly was fooled by the false bravado. Surely Siena had filled her in on the disaster yesterday. Who was she kidding? It wasn’t a disaster. It was a full-on tantrum, and everyone had known it.

Seven minutes and thirty-three seconds later, with a fresh coffee in hand, Bunny followed Siena into her office. The door shut with a resounding finality. Bunny had fucked up royally. And she was about to hear about all of it.

Bunny opened her mouth a few times but closed it again before she said anything. It wasn’t like her to be nervous or unsure of herself. It had been years since Siena had intimidated her. Years since she had wondered about the security of their business relationship, or friendship for that matter. But now Bunny felt as though she walked a tightrope that had just been jumped on. And the worst part was, she had been the one to string up the rope in the first place.

Siena tilted her head, seeming entirely comfortable to sit in the silence.

“I’m sorry.” The words weren’t easy. Bunny had fought hard alongside Piper to get to where they were. It wasn’t that she didn’t acknowledge or appreciate Siena’s work. The woman was incredible at her job and had opened many doors for them over the years. But that didn’t mean they had sat back and let others do the heavy lifting.

Siena continued to look at her, and Bunny slumped back into her chair.

“I don’t know what to do,” Bunny confessed, fearing she might actually choke on the words.

“All right.” Siena nodded, finally giving Bunny a break. “I’m not entirely oblivious to your concerns. I never have been.”

“I know,” Bunny conceded.

“But this isn’t just about you. It’s not even just about you and Piper.” Siena waited for Bunny to lift her head and meet her eyes before continuing. “When you started, you made the conscious decision to keep all of your private life private.”

“It was either that or fall into the pit of ruined artists.”

“Yes,” Siena said the word slowly, and Bunny knew without a doubt that she would not like where this was headed. “But that was quite a while ago. You’ve got to admit things have changed and continue to change, especially where we live.”

“But it’s not enough.” Bunny twiddled her thumbs, not sure where to go from here. She was trying to get her point across, but it was like Siena was only half-listening to what she was saying.

“Are you sure about that?” Siena asked.

Bunny could have hugged her if she were the hugging type. There had been no judgment in her question, but a pure curiosity.

“Is it really worth the risk? I get them wanting to be out from the start, but we aren’t starting. Piper and I have been around long enough to see the other side of it. They get our songs, Siena, isn’t that enough? We put our hearts and souls into them. Can you honestly tell me we won’t be hurt if we confirm our sexuality and start letting our fans into our day-to-day personal lives as well? Not to mention, we don’t only perform in Portland. I have to be sure that we’re safe wherever we go, and we have enough issues existing in this world as women. Now you expect me to risk our lives because we’re queer too? Can you tell me that we’ll be safer being out?”

“No.” Siena shook her head and rocked back in her seat.

Relief washed over Bunny as she read the posture as the hard part of the conversation was over. As Siena conceding to her point.

“No?” Bunny wanted the verbal confirmation.

“No. I can’t promise you anything like that. But I’ve never promised you anything I haven’t been able to deliver. What I can promise is that wearing rainbow pride costumes for the finale isn’t going to automatically out you and Piper. No more than about half of your songs do.”

“But singing that song with Bea as the finale and in those outfits is.” Bunny said it with so much certainty. She truly believed this. She had no doubts in her mind that to do both would be the end of life as she knew it.

“You haven’t checked your email this morning.” Siena was back in work mode as she shuffled and clicked keys on her computer.

“No. Why?”

Swiveling the monitor so Bunny could see it, Siena showed Bunny the set list.

“Oh.” Bunny’s fears slipped away a little bit. Not entirely, but at least the last thing people would see wouldn’t be just Bunny and Bea in that rainbow getup, singing a love song to each other.

“So that helps a bit then, yeah?”

“Yeah. I still don’t think a duet with Bea is a good idea.” Bunny’s stomach twisted hard, bile rising up in her throat and she was regretting that coffee.

“Bunny. Don’t let your emotions and personal relationship interfere with what’ll be an amazing performance.”

Bunny closed her eyes. She couldn't blame Siena for picking up on the chemistry between the two of them. Piper had done the same. She and Bea hadn’t even done a damn thing to try to hide it. They’d practically been making out at the piano bar.

“So are you feeling better?” Siena asked. After a small nod from Bunny, Siena continued. “Now, before you do anything else about it, because I know you.”

Bunny chuckled low and let her head nod a little bit.

“Now, before that, think about this. You had a choice and no one has forced you to go against that. Even this performance doesn’t give any more or less confirmation about you and Piper. Jo and Bea have a choice, and they have chosen that instead of going through managers who have demanded they tone down the gay, have searched for someone who will allow them the same right I have always given you.”

Bunny’s head swam, and she knew this was the speech Siena had wanted to make. She wondered again if Siena practiced this one and wouldn’t have been surprised if she had. After a few minutes, Bunny looked up into Siena’s face once more and nodded. Because what the hell was she supposed to say?

Pick me over them?

Save me from this fucking choice?

“I’ll think about all of it, I promise,” Bunny finally managed.

“Before you try to convince them to change the outfit?” Siena raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“Yes.” Bunny rolled her eyes playfully. “Is that all you wanted to see me about?”

“Actually, no.” Siena chuckled low and not for the first time Bunny wondered what had happened with her and her ex-wife. From what Siena had told her, Tori was an amazing human. The idea that great people still couldn’t make it work gave Bunny little hope for a future where she might one day settle down. Not that she had ever really considered doing that before. “We have some more events to go through. I’ve sent the list to Piper, and she told me which ones she would be okay with as long as you are on board as well.”

“You didn’t send me the list.”

“I did. But you ignored my email as usual.”

Bunny’s ears burned. She vaguely remembered an email she had marked as important and would get to as soon as she could. She had then promptly forgotten about it.

“Sorry. I do try.”

“I know.” Siena smiled, and they dove into the list of potential opportunities that Siena had gotten for them.

By the time Bunny left Siena’s office, the weight she had been carrying on her shoulders had definitely lightened.

But Siena had been right, once again. Bunny wasn’t prepared to roll over on the idea. Not when there was still more she could do to make them see reason.

It took her until the end of the block to pull her phone from her pocket, scroll through her contacts and find Jo’s number.

“Bunny? Is everything okay?” Jo’s voice was higher than Bunny remembered and vaguely she wondered what else Jo did apart from singing in the band with her sister. Had she interrupted? Well it was up to Jo to say so.

“I was wondering if we could talk about the costumes.” Bunny and small talk weren’t good friends, and even less when stress overtook her.

“Oh.” Jo’s voice dropped lower and the return to the more familiar tone encouraged Bunny to continue.

“I know I didn’t react very well to the last of the costume changes.” Bunny took a deep breath and refrained from presenting her point of view. It wasn’t necessary. “But I was wondering if you would be willing to negotiate.”

“What kind of things were you thinking?” Jo’s voice crackled a little, and Bunny cursed the phone she pressed against her ear as she stepped around a couple using the sidewalk as their stage for a domestic argument.

“It would be much easier for me if we could talk in person. I hate talking on the phone. And texting. Could you meet me?” Bunny worried her fingers.

“Um, sure,” Jo said.

After agreeing on a place and time, Bunny hung up with a relieved sigh. One hour, that’s how long she had to get ready for this conversation. And she knew exactly how she was going to spend that hour.

By the time Bunny arrived, Jo was already seated in a small booth at the back of the cafe. She shouldn’t have been surprised, seeing as Jo had gotten better with arriving early for rehearsal over the last week. But still, Bunny had to give the woman some credit. She had always shown professionalism during rehearsal. A little more than Bunny had managed.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet.”

“No worries.” Jo smiled. She thanked the waitress who followed Bunny to the booth. The waitress placed a drink in front of Jo.

“Anything for you, love?”

Love? Bunny wanted to hiss at the woman, but it wasn’t her fault.

“No, thanks. I’m fine for now.” Bunny slid into the booth and swallowed down her frustration as she noticed Jo’s drink.

“So, what were your thoughts on the costumes?”

“I want them to be subtle.” Bunny enjoyed Jo’s direct approach. She had worried it would take fifteen minutes just to get her on target. “And I want them for just the last song.”

“You want me to tone down the gay?” Jo’s narrowed eyes shocked Bunny, and for a moment, she worried she misjudged who would be best to talk to about the costumes after all.

“This is a charity event for the Holbrook Foundation, not some gay pride event. And wearing those costumes, as intense as they currently are, for the last song is only going to take away from the actual charity.”

“Why haven’t you spoken to Piper and Bea about this?” Jo asked, sipping her drink as she held Bunny’s eyes.

Bunny had definitely misjudged Jo’s strength. She should have known better. How many times had Piper expressed frustration at people underestimating her because of her looks? And here she was doing the exact same thing to Jo.

But she couldn’t just roll over on this one.

“Could you please consider it?”

“I can consider it, but this is something everyone will have to agree on.”

“I know.” Bunny nodded. “But seeing as you’re the main designer, I thought checking with you first would be the right way to go about this.”

“The main designer?”

“Piper said you had most of the ideas already sorted before the two of you even began discussing it.” Bunny furrowed her brows.

Had Piper lied to her?

“Wow. I didn’t think she would have mentioned that, let alone credited me with so much. I just had a few ideas I sketched out.”

“Well, she seemed impressed by your involvement. And I figured you would be the best person to speak to Bea about it as well. We tend to clash a bit.” Bunny shrugged, relieved that Piper hadn’t lied, and inwardly smiling at the pink blush that scattered over Jo’s nose and cheeks.

“Ah, yeah, you do.” Jo pinned Bunny with a look. “Just what is that all about?”

“Nothing,” Bunny muttered sharply. Now she really wished she’d had a drink so she could distract herself with it. “But I thought it’d be best coming from you.”

“You’re not scared of Bea, are you?” Jo playfully waggled her eyebrows.

Bunny snorted. “Absolutely not.”

Except she was.

Or more to the point, she was scared of herself when Bea was around.

“Talk to her for me, will you?”

“You said this was a negotiation. What do I get out of it?”

Bunny pursed her lips as she thought. She’d hoped to slip right by that one and not come back to it. Again, she’d underestimated Jo in ways she really shouldn’t have.

“I’ll change the lyrics to Baby, It’s Cold Outside to be queer inclusive.”

Jo’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

It wasn’t what Jo had wanted, Bunny was sure. But she was betting that Bea wanted it enough that Jo would agree. Because that’s what sisters and business partners did, wasn’t it? Bunny held her breath, waiting for Jo’s answer.

“Yes.”

Jo grinned broadly, her lips curling upward and her eyes lighting as if she’d just won the prize of the year. “Deal.”