Spicy Sapphic Christmas

26. Piper

TWENTY-SIX

piper

“I wanted to run an idea past you.” Piper plopped onto her couch, her thigh bumping deliciously into Jo’s. She’d been stewing over the idea for a few weeks now—since she mentioned it the first time—but after the disaster that was their last rehearsal and the radio silence from both Bea and Bunny, Piper knew she was going to have to pull out the big guns for this one.

“Sure, what’s up?” Jo popped a pretzel between her lips and grinned.

“I know why Bunny is all pissy lately.”

“I would hope.” Jo gave a half-chuckle half-snort.

Piper wasn’t sure if she was amused or worried. And she didn’t really want to share Bunny’s secrets with the world either. Rubbing her lips together, Piper debated exactly what to say. “I love Bunny dearly. She’s my best friend. We’re closer than sisters.”

“I get that.” Jo looked up into Piper’s eyes, a curious expression on her lips.

Piper knew she wasn’t explaining this well, but she was trying to choose her words carefully. “The last time Bunny fell in love, it was with someone she couldn’t have, someone that it would never work out with.”

Jo frowned. “You think she’s in love with Bea?”

Nodding, Piper snagged Jo’s hand and wrapped their fingers together. “Yeah, I do. And just like last time, she’s digging herself into the biggest ditch ever.”

“What happened last time?”

Sighing, Piper rolled through everything in her memories. What could she share? What should she share? “Let’s just say she fell hard and swiftly, and when the woman she fell in love with wasn’t willing to make changes to be with her, Bunny shut down. I mean hard. She never wanted a relationship again after that.”

“So this is about more than just coming out to the world,” Jo concluded.

“It is, but I’m not sure Bunny will ever admit that. I didn’t honestly think she’d ever open her heart again to someone else.”

“But you think she has with Bea?”

“I do.” Piper lifted Jo’s hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles. “And Bea? What’s her hesitation?”

“She’s used to being in charge, and she doesn’t like being told what to do, and that seems to be all Bunny wants to do.”

“Hmm, Bunny’s clawing at control because she’s losing it so swiftly.” Piper ran her fingers through her hair. “Bunny’s problem is that she doesn’t believe love can’t be messy.”

“Well, she’s certainly making a mess of things.”

“Yeah, she is.” Piper laughed lightly. She liked this side of Jo, the side that was carefree and easy, the side that didn’t worry about what other people thought, how they were judging her. “But I do have an idea, if you think that Bea might be interested in more.”

“Like relationship more?”

“Yes. If you think Bea might be in love.”

Jo’s lower lip quivered. She didn’t make eye contact, and she played with the pretzels in the bag before popping another one between her lips. “I don’t want to mess with my sister’s life.”

“Don’t you think she needs a push? Something to get her to see Bunny—who she really is?”

“I’ve got to say that after this week, I’m not sure I want to know the real Bunny.”

“This week wasn’t her. Remember the woman who saved you from Mandy? That’s Bunny. She’s fiercely loyal and protective. She was so pissed off that she scathed Siena for it and hired more security to be at the building to watch out for Mandy there and at the concert.”

“She did what?” Jo’s eyes widened.

“Bunny doesn’t fuck around with the people she cares for when it comes to safety. She doesn’t let abusers have their moment.”

“Abusers…” Jo trailed off, the word sounding bitter on her tongue. “She thinks Mandy is abusing me?”

“Harassing at the very least. Do you really not see it?” Piper hated that the conversation was taking this turn. But she did want to make her point clear. Bunny wasn’t a bad person, despite what her behavior had been the last few weeks.

“I guess I can.”

“We’ll work on that.” Piper dropped a kiss into Jo’s hair. “Bunny wants you to be safe.”

“She doesn’t care about me.”

“She does, otherwise she wouldn’t be this mad about everything.” Piper wouldn’t be able to convince Jo otherwise, and that wasn’t really her point either. Except to get Jo to help her with this insane idea, she’d have to convince Jo to at least somewhat like Bunny. “And she wouldn’t be making such a mess of things. She cares about your career and your success, otherwise she wouldn’t even be attempting to give advice.”

“That’s advice?” Jo’s eyes widened.

Piper shrugged slightly. “She thinks it is.”

Jo scrunched her face up. “I don’t know about that.”

“Bunny is brilliant when it comes to business, but sometimes, even I can say this, she doesn’t take enough risks.”

“And what risk is she trying not to take?” Jo moved her hand up and down Piper’s thigh in a gentle caress.

“Oh, there’s several of them. And I’m going to give her a piece of my mind about it real soon. She needs to be taken down a couple more notches.”

“I’m not sure I want to be there when you do that.” Jo giggled nervously before shaking her head. “Is that all part of your idea you wanted to talk to me about?”

“I’m not sure it’s a great idea anymore…” Piper dragged out. She rested back into the couch a little more, curling her long legs under her. “In fact, it’s probably a really bad idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought we could fake an engagement. Have Siena do a little fake PR for it, and really show Bunny that there isn’t all that much to be afraid of. Force her to take that risk because she’ll be doing it kicking and screaming either way.”

“And Bea,” Jo whispered.

“If that’s what she’s afraid of.” Piper slid her fingers through Jo’s hair. “But it’s probably a bad idea. It would mean we’d have to fake an engagement to each other.”

“I don’t know. It could help get Mandy off my back if she finally realized I was totally unavailable.” Jo trailed her fingers back and forth along Piper’s arm. “This might not be a half bad idea. It could solve a lot of problems.”

“Are you sure?”

“Kind of, actually. No. I am. What would that entail?”

Jo sounded so interested. Piper held herself stiff, waiting to see if it was genuine curiosity or just conversation making. Piper pulled her lip between her teeth and let it pop out. “Just some pictures and us telling Bunny probably.”

“And Bea? Do we tell her?”

“That we’d be engaged or that it’s all fake?”

“That we’re engaged.”

Piper squinted at Jo’s turn of phrase. They wouldn’t actually be engaged. It would just be to get Bunny and Bea’s heads out of their asses. “Yeah, if you think that’d be best.”

“I think that if I’m not someone she has to take care of anymore, then she might just free herself up for a relationship. If she wasn’t worried about me, then she could focus on someone else.” Jo’s lips slowly turned upward into a smile. “I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

“There could be fallout from it.”

“Then we’ll deal with it later.” Jo quickly moved up onto her knees and straddled Piper’s thighs. “I think this is exactly the kick in the ass that Bea needs. When are we doing it?”

“Uh… tonight,” Piper said, making the decision immediately. “Well, assuming I can get hold of Siena. I’m sure she’s heard an earful from everyone about the situation by now.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. She knows everything.” Piper leaned over to the coffee table to grab her phone. “Pray she answers.”

Hitting Siena’s name, Piper put the phone on speaker and held it in front of her. It was the fourth ring before she answered, and Piper’s lips curled into a smile as soon as Siena’s smooth, “What’s up, Pipes?” reached her ears.

“Hey.” Piper’s cheeks turned hot. “I have a favor to ask of you, and I want you to not kill me for it before you hear me out.”

“Okay?” Siena sounded curious now.

“Do you have Harley tonight?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Piper pressed her lips together hard and glanced at Jo. “Well, maybe she can help. She is one of the best wing women out there.”

“What’s going on?” Siena’s tone turned demanding.

Harley’s playful squeal could be heard in the background. Piper grinned at it. She’d always loved that kid. “I have an idea to get Bunny to quit being such a bitch, but I’m going to need your help.”

“All right. I’m in for whatever it is because she’s on some kind of rampage.”

“Yep. So, Jo and I were thinking of pulling off a fake engagement.”

“What!?” Siena’s voice rang through the room.

Piper slipped Jo a conspiratorial look. “Yeah, fake engagement. Catch up, Siena. Bunny’s problem is love, and I want her to know that love isn’t a death sentence. That we can be out and she’ll survive. So let’s show her that.”

“This is an insane idea.”

“But insane ideas usually work.”

Piper could swear she could see Siena frowning. “No, they don’t.”

“Yes, they do. Welcome to this entire Christmas charity event you’ve dragged us into.” Piper giggled, though it was on the edge of maniacal. This was a risky and crazy idea, but honestly, getting Bunny to see her way out of her own ass wasn’t Piper’s only motivation. She enjoyed spending time with Jo, and if this put the silly idea in Jo’s head that perhaps they could be together longer term, then Piper would be happy.

“What’s the idea, Pipes?”

“I want you to stage some PR photos. Harley can take them, she’s amazing with a phone camera, and I want them to find their way to Bunny. Not rudely, because then she’ll be worse off, but I want her to know that being queer isn’t going to be a death sentence for us.”

“I don’t know about this.”

“Jo agreed. She thinks Bea needs a kick in the ass, too.”

“A swift one!” Jo chimed in.

Piper sent her a small smile. “Please.”

“But no actual PR?” Siena clarified.

“No actual PR. Just make it look like that.”

“I might have someone who can help us. Harley! Get socks and shoes on. We’re going to see Auntie P. I could use getting my ass chewed by Bunny one more time before the year ends.” Siena mumbled the last part. “I’ll meet you at Eastbank in half an hour. Dress nice.”

“Yes!” Piper pumped her fist into the air. “But wait, who are you going to get to help us?”

“Jamie Kettlehouse.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Thirty minutes, Piper. Don’t be late.” Siena hung up.

Piper stared at her phone for longer than she should have, confusion swimming in her brain.

“Who’s Jamie Kettlehouse?” Jo asked, wrapping her arms around Piper’s.

Wrinkling her nose, Piper shook her head. “She’s a blogger, a spitfire, someone who is known for taking a rumor and running with it. The worst gossip monger you can think of in Portland. She runs blogs, magazines, social media accounts—so many of them we’d never be able to find them all. I have no clue why Siena would think bringing her in on this would be a good idea.”

“She would know how to write it up well.”

Piper scoffed. “Yeah, but Siena can do that. She writes press releases all the time.”

“But if we want it to look like a rumor.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. But I sure as hell am going to find out.” Piper moved to her feet and pulled Jo to hers. “Come on, we need to get dressed.”

They were five minutes late, but Piper got them there. Siena stood still by the bridge, her tall, thin figure hard to miss, especially with Harley running circles around her—literally. Next to her stood a short, curvy woman that Piper could only guess was Jamie Kettlehouse.

Taking Jo’s hand in hers, Piper started toward them. She’d quickly snagged one of her rings from her room—one that looked the most engagement-like, though it wasn’t an engagement ring at all—and slipped it into her pocket before they’d left the apartment.

“Hey,” Piper said, nodding to Siena and looking Jamie over.

“It’s good to meet you finally.” Jamie stepped forward and put her hand out.

Piper almost didn’t take it. Jamie had written some horrible things about her and Bunny over the years. She’d also written good things about them, though those had been fewer and farther between. Everything in Piper’s world until now had been oriented around avoiding this woman and anything she could potentially write about them.

Bunny would burn knowing that she was the one here for this.

“Auntie P! Auntie P!” Harley jumped up and down, and Piper had to let go of Jo’s hand to snag Harley and spin her in a circle or two before stopping. “It’s been way too long since I’ve seen you kid. You’ve grown an entire foot!”

Harley giggled, the sound music to Piper’s ears.

“How’s your arm? Do I get to sign the cast?” Piper put her down and looked the cast over, the small drawings and writings from kids all over it. “Is there even room?”

“Yeah!” Harley ran to her mom and snagged a pen, bringing it back over. “Right here.”

Piper grinned as she drew a heart and wrote Auntie P on the bright pink cast. “All right, so you’re here for a reason, because I need your help.”

Harley laughed. “Mama says I get to take pictures!”

“Right, you do, on her phone and my phone.” Piper whipped out her phone and handed it over to Harley. “I assume you know how to use it.”

“Of course I do!” Harley giggled loudly.

“All right, let’s get this on.” Siena stepped forward. “And Piper, you have until the morning to come up with a plan for how to tell Bunny what’s going on.”

“I’m working on it already.” Piper sucked in a sharp breath. Why was she nervous? There was nothing real about this proposal. She shouldn’t be worried about whether or not Jo would say yes, that was the entire point. Hell, she didn’t even have to ask. They just had to pose for photos.

“Piper?” Jo asked, that sweet voice ringing through Piper’s ears.

“Yeah. Right.” Piper cleared her throat. She took Jo’s hand and led her closer to the water’s edge and right under the light so that the pictures would look better.

Without preamble, Piper got down on one knee and held her hand up with the ring sitting in the center of her palm. The words caught in her throat. It was ridiculous. She couldn’t have made herself more of a donkey’s ass. She’d proposed the idea of this fake engagement and now she couldn’t even get the words out.

Jo stared at her, wide-eyed and cautious.

Piper had to stop this. She had to make this better. Standing up sharply, Piper turned to Siena and to Jamie and shook her head. “Hold on. I need a second.”

She walked toward the water and let out a heavy breath.

“What’s going on?” Jo ran her hand along Piper’s back, small circles before she dropped it away. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Except everything was. She wasn’t sure she wanted to do this anymore. It was a bad idea.

“Then let’s go. Come on. I’m waiting for this splendid proposal you promised me.”

Piper scoffed. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yeah. Now more than ever.”

“Now?” Piper furrowed her brow and looked Jo over. “Why now?”

“Because you’re just as nervous as I am.” Jo took Piper’s hand and led her back to the spot they’d been in before.

Harley gave them odd looks, but she held the phone up to her face. Was she still taking pictures? God, Piper would look like an idiot running away from the first proposal. She was such a Looney Toon sometimes.

“Get down on one knee,” Jo murmured into Piper’s ear. “You don’t even have to say anything.”

“But I want to.” Piper’s voice caught in her throat again at Jo’s confusion. Shaking her head, Piper dropped to her knee. She didn’t even nod at the others to let them know she was ready. She just held out her hand and stared up into Jo’s beautifully brown eyes. “I want to tell you that I love you, that you are the love of my life.”

Fuck, the words were flowing now, and she couldn’t stop them.

“That you’re the sole reason I wake up in the morning and what I dream about in bed at night. That you’re what my world is centered around. I want to tell you that we’re going to build a life together, one day at a time, weaving our stories and our dances together. I want to tell you that I’m confident and purposeful and I’m not going to mess things up. I want to tell you that I’ll never leave you.”

Jo’s cheeks pulled upward, her lips curling into a smile. “Are you serious?”

Piper grinned back. She couldn’t tell if Jo was shocked or laughing at her. But Piper had never been one who was short on words.

“When have I ever lied to you?” Piper asked.

Jo laughed like a fool, bending down and pressing their mouths together, her hands on Piper’s cheeks. Jo dropped to her knees, their lips still touching as she pulled back and shook her head at Jo. “You’re ridiculously charming some days, Piper.”

“You could do worse than me.”

“I definitely could,” Jo agreed. “Now let me see this ring.”

“But I haven’t even asked you.”

“So what,” Jo whispered, plucking the ring from Piper’s hand. “We’re getting fake engaged!”

Piper’s heart sank.

Yes.

Engaged.

But fake.

This wasn’t real.