Spicy Sapphic Christmas

28. Jo

TWENTY-EIGHT

jo

Jo groaned and rolled over in her bed as yet another text pinged through on her phone. It seemed her number had been leaked. She didn’t know how it happened, though she had some suspicions.

Blowing out a puff of air, she sent her bangs flying as she picked up the phone.

“Speak of the devil,” she muttered to herself when Mandy’s name lit up on her screen.

Too exhausted and emotionally wrung out to ignore the text, since she would only receive increasingly hostile ones, Jo slid open the message.

Mandy: You’re engaged? Since when did you move that fast?

Jo: It’s complicated. Relationships aren’t easy. Not even ones that are written up as fairy tales.

Mandy: Oh trouble in paradise already? Does she even make you happy?

Jo heard the tone in the words. They might appear simple enough on the screen, even caring in their own way. But behind them radiated Mandy’s attitude as clear as if she stood in front of her, hands on hips and mouth puckered.

Looking at Mandy’s question again, Jo thought about Piper. Her smile spread easily. She didn’t need to see her face to know it radiated all the way to her eyes. Warmth filled her chest.

Jo: Definitely. She definitely makes me happy.

What Jo didn’t add was the fact that Piper also made her completely crazy. When they were together, Jo was almost one hundred percent certain that Piper radiated the same affection for Jo as Jo had for her.

And they fit well together, in more areas than Jo had ever dreamed of being compatible with someone.

Her phone vibrated in her hand as the loud ring filled her small room.

“Shit,” Jo startled, dropping the phone to her bed before snatching it up again and answering.

Bea’s laughter came through the line. “Hey sis, did I catch you at a bad time? Should I apologize to Piper?”

“What?” Jo struggled to understand what Bea was talking about.

“Never mind.” Bea’s voice softened. While Jo could tell Bea was trying to project an upbeat mood, the weight pressed down anyway. “You’re engaged?”

“Oh.” Jo scrambled. They hadn’t come up with a way to tell Bea and Bunny about the engagement yet, a definitive line of who proposed, when, and how everything happened. They didn’t have their stories straight! And how did she know?

“You haven’t eaten have you?” Bea barreled on.

“No.” Jo sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “I haven’t even gotten dressed.”

“Do I have to plug my ears and start humming? I really don’t need details.”

Jo laughed nervously. “As if I would give you those kinds of details. Besides, Piper isn’t even here.”

“Cool.”

“Cool?”

“I adore Piper, but I was hoping to just have a sister brunch. I need those other details.”

Jo winced. She needed to call Piper before she went into this conversation. She needed to figure out what storyline they were going to feed Bea. “Okay, give me half an hour and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“See you then.”

Jo hung up and texted Piper immediately, hoping against all hope that she was awake. When there was no response in the first five minutes, Jo jumped in the shower and started getting ready for this brunch. What felt like every five seconds, she’d peek her head out and stare at her phone as if Piper had just called and she’d missed it—but she hadn’t. Radio silence.

Taking a few deep breaths, she stared at herself in the mirror. She usually didn’t mind how she looked. She saw the flaws that no one else ever seemed to notice, but she liked those as well.

But today her reflection didn’t look like her.

Well, it looked like her in all the superficial ways, but the sadness in her eyes made even her pause. There were too many thoughts swarming around inside her head. Her phone pinged, and she lifted it off the bathroom counter.

Mandy.

God, why had she replied to those texts?

But she knew why. She always knew why. The idea of being hated made the contents of her stomach curdle, despite the little she had eaten over the last twenty-four hours. She didn’t want to care. And no doubt there were lots of people out in the world who thought shit things about her. But to know a person who did hate her ate away at her very self.

The phone pinged again with another message from Mandy. She had to be stronger than this. She had to find a way to live with someone hating her or with someone thinking she was a bad person. Because maybe she was.

Jo jumped as Bea knocked on her door. It wasn’t any louder than normal, but she’d been so wrapped up in her thoughts. Forcing her best and brightest smile on, she pulled open her front door and wrapped her arms around her sister.

“Um… hi.” Bea chuckled and hugged Jo back. As they let each other go, Bea smiled her own fake grin. Jo could tell it from a mile away, but she couldn’t exactly get on her high horse and call Bea out on it.

Jo grabbed her handbag from the small table beside the front door, pulling the door closed and ensuring it was locked behind her. “Where are you taking me? And it better be somewhere nice.”

“I was thinking…” Bea threaded her arm through Jo’s. The action so familiar that Jo’s smile relaxed, becoming more real Jo and less Sole Sister Jo. “Maybe Tanya’s?”

“Oh, that’s perfect.” Jo leaned into her sister. Bea followed suit, and the sides of their heads pressed together for a moment, their feet not missing a step.

Tanya’s was a small hidden secret the sisters had been going to for years. The bell above the door tinkled as Bea held it open for Jo. Jo took a deep breath as she stepped inside. Aromas wafted to them from the kitchen. A mixture of melting butter, glazed sugar, and fresh coffee wrapped around her shoulders and hugged her tightly.

She loved it for all of its lack of pretentiousness. There were no signed celebrity posters, no announcements of prizes won, and no pompous airs or overpriced items. Sliding into their usual booth, Jo relaxed into the softened faded fabric and sighed.

“The usual?” Bea asked, already halfway to the counter.

“Of course,” Jo replied even as she picked up the menu and flicked casually through it.

By the time Bea returned, Jo had tears running down her cheeks.

“Oh, Jo.” Bea slid into the booth next to Jo and pulled her into a side hug. Jo fell willingly into Bea’s motherly embrace and sniffled as she failed to get the tears to stop. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s changing. Even Tanya’s.”

“Tanya’s?” Bea leaned back a little and looked down at Jo. Jo lifted her eyes and nodded.

“Look.” She shuffled out of Bea’s hug and thrust the menu at Bea.

“What am I looking at?” Bea asked as she flicked through the first two pages. Jo waited, knowing she would get there soon enough. “Oh.”

“Yep.”

“No more butternut squash soup.”

Bea laughed even as her own eyes grew glassy from unshed tears.

“I’ve fucked everything up, Bea.”

“What do you mean?” Bea frowned and dropped the menu onto the table. “You and Piper are amazing together, and your life will be brilliant, and we’ll still see each other all the time.”

“No.” Jo shook her head and forced the emotion back just enough to stop another flood of tears from running over her face. She’d made the right choice to skip the makeup.

“Of course we will.” Bea placed her hand over Jo’s and squeezed.

“It’s not real.” Jo’s voice cracked. She hadn’t expected to tell the truth, but who was she kidding. She couldn’t lie to Bea.

“What?” Bea’s own emotions seemed to be under control again, but unlike Jo, Bea didn’t have any obvious tells. “What’s not real?”

“Piper, the engagement. It’s not real. We wanted to show you and Bunny that love isn’t horrible or career ending.” Jo twisted her hands together under the table. Bea was going to yell. She knew it. They had done something terrible, and they couldn’t put the cat back in the bag.

“You faked the engagement?” Bea sat back heavily in the booth. Jo watched carefully as her sister stared off into space, blinking slowly as she absorbed the information.

Jo shook her head and refused to let the sadness take over her again. “We just wanted to try and make you two see that it’s not all bad being out.”

“Your idea or Piper’s?”

“Both, really. And—” Jo froze. She couldn’t say the next words out loud, could she? She had to find a way to avoid that a little longer.

“And what?” Bea asked. Her tone remained calm and caring.

“Are you angry at us?”

“Surprisingly, no.” Bea shook her head slowly. “I’m not angry. Only you two would come up with such a crazy cockamamie idea as this. But I suppose I understand it, to a degree. I don’t need to know that love is worth it. I just don’t want to fall into a relationship that isn’t good or healthy for me—friendship, business, or romantic.”

“How’re my girls today?” Tanya placed coffee and a brunch special down in front of each of them. The brunch special wasn’t on any menu. It was special in that Tanya only ever made it for the two of them. At least that was what Tanya said.

The plates were piled the same. Fluffy pancakes one side, light and fluffy eggs the other.

“Miserable,” Jo admitted.

Bea gave Tanya a small smile as she slipped out of the booth and took her seat back on the other side, across from Jo.

“Then you’ll be needing pie sooner rather than later.” Tanya nodded and wandered back to the kitchen.

“Don’t be miserable.” Bea leaned forward, head bobbing around until Jo finally met her eyes. “I’m really not angry. A little frustrated that you couldn’t tell me what was going on. I think it speaks to a larger problem that we’ve ignored for a while now.”

“Larger problem?” Jo choked on those words. This sounded like a breakup. What could Bea possibly be breaking up with her over?

“I can’t work with Bunny.”

“Bea!”

“I can’t.” Bea shook her head, the curls nearest her cheeks bouncing from the movement. “I’ve tried, and I just can’t do it anymore. She’s a brute. She doesn’t listen. She’s only in this for herself.”

Panic rose in Jo’s chest. First Piper and now Bea? “I can’t do this without you.”

“Of course you can! You don’t need me to have a career.”

“But we’re Sole Sisters.”

“We were,” Bea corrected. She snagged Jo’s hand. “I’m kind of sad you’re not with Piper because that would make this easier.”

Jo furrowed her brow. She wanted to be with Piper too, in the real sense. She didn’t want a fake engagement, but a real one, and when Piper had been down on one knee, it had felt real. The words she was saying had felt like she really meant them.

“You’d have her to support you.”

“I still have that,” Jo mumbled. “I don’t understand what you mean. You’re really leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“You won’t even consider doing the charity event and then talking about it after a break?” Jo knew she was clawing for a grip, but she couldn’t stop herself. They’d only ever talked about the two of them building their career and band together. They’d never discussed going solo. Ever.

“I can’t.” Bea distracted herself with adding salt to the eggs on her plate, tearing open the butter and ruthlessly attacking the toast with it.

Jo winced at the move. If Bea wasn’t mad at Jo, then she was certainly mad at someone else, and her guess was Bunny. It had been so tense in the rehearsal studio lately. No one in a ten-mile radius could miss it.

“But you’re still doing the show with Bunny and Piper.” Bea looked up and smiled. “And I have some great news.”

“You’re moving overseas, and you never have to deal with me again?” Jo tried to force her lips into a smile, but she failed.

“Jo.” Bea rolled her eyes. “Since when did you ever let anything get you so down that you bought into this miserable attitude?”

Jo shrugged and shoved a forkful of her pancakes into her mouth.

“The reason I wanted to do brunch with you this morning was to tell you that Siena has agreed to represent us.” Bea beamed as she spoke. “She’s going to represent both of us. She isn’t exactly happy that it’ll be two different contracts. But she would prefer to represent us individually than not at all. Her words.” Bea shoveled a forkful of her eggs into her mouth. “She’ll help make sure you get those dreams.”

“And what about you?” Jo worried her lower lip, eyeing Bea. How could she be so calm about this? How could she not even think that Jo would be upset over it all?

“My dreams were never as big as yours. But we’ll always be sisters, and I’ll be in the front row every chance I get.”

“I don’t want it to be fake.” The words came out before Jo could stop them.

Bea stopped her fork halfway to her mouth. The fluffy scrambled eggs she had scooped up fell down onto the very edge of her plate.

“I really like her. No. I love her. I love Piper, and I don’t want any of it to be fake.” Jo sniffed as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh.” Bea placed her fork down with a clatter and reached over the table to grab Jo’s hand. “Was all of it fake? I mean, I knew you two were spending a lot of time together, and well, I was pretty sure you were at least sleeping together.”

“It wasn’t all fake.” Jo wiped her cheeks with her free hand as she squeezed Bea’s fingers with the other.

“Ouch.” Bea flexed her fingers, and Jo eased up. But only enough to stop bruising either of them.

“Sorry.”

“Uh-huh.” Bea gave Jo a mock stern look, and Jo smiled, letting out a small laugh.

Even with her heart shattering inside her chest, Bea could always make her smile. Bea had always been a light to help her find that sunshine within herself.

“What am I going to do?” Jo asked, big eyes pleading for her big sister’s guidance. “I don’t want to lose Piper, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m positive I’m not the right person to give any kind of relationship advice.” Bea winked. “But make sure you give Piper a big hug for me when you see her at rehearsal today.”

“I still can’t believe you quit.” What was she going to do without her big sister?

She didn’t want to be alone, not even to chase her dreams. But she could do that without Bea if she had to. She supposed she had to now. Being alone wasn’t something she had ever truly reached for. Even when Bea was on her back, and she wanted a little more breathing room. She hadn’t wanted Bea gone entirely. They’d been a pair, Irish twins, ever since Jo had been born and they’d been inseparable.

“Bea?” Jo asked.

“Yeah?” Bea swallowed her mouthful of food and looked at Jo.

“I’m in love with someone, and I don’t think I’ve ever been before.”

“Then maybe I’m not the person you need to be talking to about that.” Bea returned to her food.

Jo forced herself to eat, and after a few minutes the two of them moved onto other topics as though Jo hadn’t just smeared her heart all over the table between them. She loved her sister. For always being there for her, and for always finding a way to bring things back to a place where Jo could breathe easily again.