Spite Crush (Rock Hard #2)

Chapter Nine

~Kellen~

I hadn’t expected the big, bad, Zak Dempsey to be so shy. In fact, I’d kind of expected him to walk in, lock the door and throw me around like a rag doll for an hour before stalking out without a word spoken between us.

But if I were being totally honest, I liked this better.

I liked talking to him. Appreciated his honesty about his reservations, his fears. It was as if we were starting something. A friendship maybe.

I wasn’t so na?ve as to think it would be anything more than that. The man was deeper in the closet than an access panel.

But it could be something.

“Take your shirt off,” I demanded.

“What?” Zak’s eyes widened as he stared at me.

“Take your shirt off,” I repeated. “If one of us doesn’t move we’re going to stand here all night. ”

“Do you just blurt out every thought that pops into your head?” he asked, his tone exasperated. But he did grip the hem of his t-shirt, dragging it up over his head before tossing it to the floor. “Some thoughts are inside thoughts.”

“Really? Well I find it the most expedient course of action sometimes,” I said as I raked my gaze over his muscular chest and well-defined abs. “How exactly does one get a body like that?”

“I pretty much just deny myself any form of pleasure,” he answered .

“Doesn’t sound worth it,” I whispered. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and splaying my hands against his chest. His skin felt as if it were on fire beneath my fingers and I almost recoiled in surprise, but his arms snaked around me and pulled me tight against him, plastering my body against all that heat and causing me to feel as if we might burst into flames together at any moment.

“Feels worth it,” he said as one of his hands slid into my hair, his fingers gripping tightly as his face lowered toward mine. “Is this really what you want? ”

“A secret tryst with the man who can’t stop insulting me?” My heart was hammering so hard against my chest that there was no way he couldn’t feel it. “Yeah, Dempsey. I want this.”

And then his mouth was on mine and everything else fell away as I lost myself to the feel and taste of his tongue as it slid between my lips.

It seemed as if once that barrier was breached, everything we’d been to each other over the last week crumbled, the hostility changed to lust and we simultaneously seemed to try to crawl inside of each other.

His body pinned mine against the desk, one hand curling under my leg and pulling it from the floor as his hips rutted against me, our erections grinding together through our jeans as I clawed my fingers into his hair, holding him tightly against me, terrified that if he stopped, whatever spell this was would break and we would end up in that awkward phase we’d found ourselves in when he first arrived .

Zak shifted to press hot, wet kisses over my cheek and my throat as he continued to thrust against me.

My hands slid over his broad shoulders and down his hard, muscular back and I moaned when his teeth nipped gently against my collarbone while his palms skimmed up my ribs under my t-shirt.

“Wait,” I said, the word practically an exhale. “We need—”

“I need,” he groaned as he thrust against me again.

“Zak, please,” I begged him, forcing my hands between us and pushing him back a step as I steadied myself again. “We need to talk about this for a minute.”

“You talk too much,” he insisted.

Well, he wasn’t wrong about that.

“Condoms or test results?” I asked him, wanting to clarify before either of us were too far gone to think clearly about what we were doing.

“Oh. Right.” He let out a small chuckle. “Whatever you prefer,” he answered, grabbing his phone from the desk. “We get full physicals and testing every three months, so my results are only about six weeks old. ”

“The band does every six months,” I told him as I stared around the room, trying to remember where I’d left my own cell. “My last one was three months ago. But I haven’t been with anyone in over a year, and we used condoms the whole time, if that eases any worry for you.”

Where the hell was my phone? I patted down my pockets as I walked to the nightstand, finding both empty.

“I’d offer to just trust you,” Zak said as he watched me continue to search. “But that’s not very responsible. So maybe we should just use a condom.”

“That’s cool,” I agreed, though I continued to sweep my gaze over the room. “Did you bring any?”

Silence stretched and I looked back at him again to see that he’d moved to start looking around as well. So that was probably a no then.

I wasn’t big on random hook ups, so if I wasn’t in a relationship, I tended to forget to keep them on hand. I wasn’t sure what Dempsey’s excuse was, but I was ruining the mood hard enough without also blaming him for showing up for sex without bringing condoms with him.

I knelt down and looked under the bed, nearly crying when I caught a glint of light reflecting from my phone screen. I stood and huffed out a sigh as I unlocked it and opened my patient portal up for Zak.

“How—”

“Best not to ask me those kinds of questions,” I interrupted, handing my phone over to him and accepting his in return.

We each took a minute to swipe through, both confirming for ourselves that all test results were clean and healthy before swapping phones back again.

“You do have lube, right?” he asked.

“I do,” I assured him.

“Do you know where it is?”

I couldn’t help laughing at the question as I walked over to my bag and opened the side zipper pocket, retrieving the bottle and tossing it onto the bed.

“Great,” Zak said. “Now take off your shirt. ”

I’d never in my life felt self-conscious about my body, but standing in front of a topless Zak Dempsey, with all his muscles and chest hair and just…ridiculous stereotypically manly body, I couldn’t help recalling his words about me being scrawny, and I hesitated.

“Kellen,” he said softly. “You’re fucking gorgeous.” He walked back to me and held my chin between his fingers, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I want to see you. All of you.”

It was the first time I’d ever heard him say my name and the sound of it passing his lips made my heart and my cock twitch in rhythm together. God I wanted him. And in order to be with him, I was going to have to take my clothes off.

“You do it,” I insisted, still staring into his bright blue eyes. “Please.”

With no hesitation, he released his hold on my face and reached down to pull my shirt up and over my head, tossing it aside before immediately moving to unbutton my jeans as well.

For a moment I thought he was just going to go ahead and strip me completely naked, but his fingers stayed curled in my waistband as his gaze raked up my body to meet mine again.

“You have done this before, right?” I asked him.

It suddenly occurred to me that a man who spent his life hiding his sexuality probably didn’t get many opportunities to engage in sex with other men. Maybe the reason he didn’t come in guns blazing, so to speak, was because he hadn’t actually had any experience .

“I have,” he said, thankfully not seeming offended by the question. “But never like this.”

“Like what?”

“In a bed,” he admitted.

I stood with that statement for a minute, my gaze searching his face as I considered the implications of what we were about to do. I could almost imagine rushed hand jobs in locker rooms. Silent thrusts between two closeted players, aching for physical contact that they couldn’t trust to anyone else.

It sounded so incredibly lonely .

“Don’t pity me,” he snapped.

“Trust me, Dempsey, pity is not what I’m feeling for you.” I reached down and grabbed his hand, moving it to press over my erection. “Let me know when you’re ready to stop talking.”

He shifted his hand to unzip my jeans, and I reached out to undo his as well, our mouths coming back together as we tried to wrangle each other out of our pants until we had to break apart once more to just remove our own .

I moved toward the bed as Zak kicked his shoes away then shucked his jeans off completely, then he turned and pushed me backward onto the mattress, his body following mine down.

He caught his own weight on his hands before laying completely over me, his massive body covering mine, his skin still hot as hell everywhere it touched me.

I gripped his hair in my hands and urged him down to kiss me again, our mouths practically warring to dominate the kiss, tongues and teeth violently smashing against each other as our erections wept between us, a steady drip of warm, wet precum spreading across our skin.

Zak pulled back to stare down at me, the pupils of his eyes blown wide, leaving his bright blue irises thin rings around them.

“Would you…” The corners of his eyes creased as if he were in pain. “I want you to top.”

“That’s such an alpha-bro thing to ask,” I teased him, leaning forward to kiss him again .

“Inside thought,” he hissed as he trailed his lips across my cheek.

“Not at all,” I argued, hooking my leg over his and urging him to roll over so I was on top of him. “An inside thought would be, if you try to ride me you’re going to break my hips.”

“Because you’re so scrawny?”

“Because you’re so heavy,” I corrected him, grinning down at him.

“Maybe we should just stop talking now,” he suggested, gripping the back of my neck in his huge palm and pulling me down to kiss him again.

That was fine with me. It felt as if we’d been talking for hours already.

I reached blindly for the lube I’d tossed to the bed earlier, but my hand just kept finding more and more blanket. With an annoyed groan I broke the kiss and turned my head to look for the bottle, but it wasn’t there anymore.

“Really?” I whispered, pushing myself up on Zak’s chest and swiveling my head around .

“It’s right here,” he said, his tone thick with amusement as he slapped it into my hand. “Do you lose things often?”

“I told you not to ask me those kinds of questions,” I reminded him as I rose to my knees between his legs and opened the cap. “Now shut up and roll over.”

He maneuvered his way around to his stomach, spreading his thighs further apart on either side of my knees and I stared down the length of his perfect body, not sure where I wanted to touch him first .

And then I froze, the lube bottle forgotten as my gaze locked on three small freckles on Zak’s left shoulder. The dark flecks looking almost out of place against the smooth, even skin around it. My mind seemed to short circuit, unable to split attention from those freckles and the fact that I was about to be balls deep in the man’s ass.

The need to name those little spots overwhelmed me and options flitted through my mind as if it were turning pages of a book. The distraction too much to ignore until Zak’s voice broke my trance .

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I said, still staring at his shoulder. “Can’t a man just enjoy the moment?”

“You’d enjoy it more if you’d get on with it,” he insisted.

“So bossy,” I complained as I leaned over him and ran my tongue over his freckles, the motion pressing my entire body against the length of his back, and suddenly my brain released its fixation on them, returning in full force to the rest of him as he arched up into me, pressing his ass against my erection .

I sat up again, opening the lube and pouring it over the fingers of my right hand before closing it and laying it next to Zak’s hand on the bed in hopes that he’d be able to keep track of it for me in case I needed it again later.

“God, your ass is perfect,” I said softly as I ran one slick finger over his tailbone and between his ass cheeks.

“You should feel it from the inside,” he insisted.

“Oh, don’t worry,” I said as I circled the pad of my index finger over his hole. “I will. ”

He moaned softly as I slid my finger inside of him, my erection twitching as his tight heat gripped my digit and seemed to suck it deep inside. I desperately wanted to feel that muscle around my shaft, but refused to give into the impatience that was plaguing Zak. Which was clear by the way he was bearing down against my hand, trying to get more of a finger that just wasn’t available to him.

I drew my finger free then pressed back with two, spreading him wider, sliding harder until a gasp escaped his throat and I turned my hand, spinning my fingers to press against his prostate and changing that breathless sound to a very deep groan.

“You like that?” I asked, repeating the motion.

“Fuck. Yes. More. Please.” His words came out short, clipped and harsh as he moved against me, forcing me to full out finger fuck his asshole.

“Do you want a third or do you want me?” I asked, leaning over him to whisper against his ear .

“You,” he said quickly. “I want you.”

I pulled free from him and grabbed the bottle of lube again, pouring a generous amount into my palm before sliding it gently over my cock.

“Come up to meet me,” I said, reaching under him to urge him to his hands and knees. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

“Someone’s full of themselves.”

“You’re about to be full of me,” I reminded him as I pressed my tip against his entrance and slowly pushed inside of him. “Stretched so wide around me.”

“Yes,” he hissed as he canted back toward me, forcing me deeper.

I let him, allowing his body to suck me inside until we were fully connected, my shaft completely buried in his ass, his muscles spasming tightly around my shaft as they adjusted to me being inside of him.

My gaze drifted back to the freckles on his shoulder, and I reached up to stroke my fingers lightly over them, tracing the straight line they made like Orion’s belt on his skin.

One of them would be called Sally.

“Did you get lost?”

“I’m right here,” I assured him, easing back then snapping my hips into him again. “I apologize if I’m not rushing things.” I moved again, easing back then in again, a little harder. “I didn’t expect to be so obsessed with your body.” Back, then in, hard enough to make Zak grunt as his entire body rocked forward. “It’s hard to believe I’m really here.” Back. In. Back. In. Back. In. “You’re so hot.” Back. “So tight.” In. “So perfect.”

I slid my hand underneath him to grip his erection, using his precum to slick my palm before jerking him once, twice, three times, and then he moaned loudly, spilling his release onto the sheets beneath us.

His orgasm caused his ass to contract around my shaft and I followed him over the edge. My nails digging into his shoulder as I cried out, my balls emptying into him, fire dancing over my nerves as wave after wave of pleasure crested up my spine.

I rolled off of Zak’s body to flop onto my back on the mattress next to him, and he shifted to drape his chest over mine, crushing my already heaving lungs under his weight.

“Holy fuck,” he whispered. “That was incredible.”

“It really was,” I agreed. I leaned down and dropped a soft kiss on top of his head. “We should do it again sometime.”

He chuckled, the sound making his body vibrate over mine .

Which was pretty incredible, too.

Zak slowly started running his fingers over my chest, tracing over the various images that littered my skin.

It made me want to tell him about the freckles on his shoulder. Did he know they were there? Had he ever seen them for himself? Or had someone else told him they were there?

That thought made my stomach coil in anger so I forced myself to push it away. It didn’t matter if anyone had seen them before…they were mine now.

“How many tattoos do you have?” he asked softly, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I spent years getting at least one in every city we played a show in. After a while I stopped keeping track.”

I forced myself not to squirm under his inspection. I loved my tats, all of them. But I couldn’t pretend that some of them weren’t incredibly stupid. There were quite a few that held real meaning for me. But most of them were impulsive decisions, chosen just to amuse myself.

“They suit you,” he said.

“I’m glad you approve,” I told him. “They’re permanent.”

“Yeah.” He huffed out an amused sound as he rolled out of my arms and turned to flick off the lamp on his bedside table. “Thanks for letting me stay here tonight.”

“Any time,” I assured him, turning to switch off my own light. “Don’t hog the covers. ”

He didn’t answer as the room was plunged into darkness, but he wrapped an arm over my waist and settled his warm, hard chest against my back.

I lay awake for a while, long after he’d started softly snoring, his breath blowing gently across the back of my neck.

Of everything that had happened between us over the last week, falling asleep in his arms might have been the most unexpected moment we’d shared.

And I had no idea how I was supposed to feel about him now.