Spite Crush (Rock Hard #2)

Chapter Nineteen

~Kellen~

I had no idea how Zak was going to react to me coming to the locker room after the game, but I knew that I couldn’t take the coward’s way out any longer. I’d been avoiding him because of my own fears, and that wasn’t fair to him.

When security recognized us, they shook each of our hands then waved us through and when we stepped inside, the team seemed just as happy that we were there .

“Kellen Fox!” someone yelled. “Holy shit! Rye Vixon and Austin Black? What the fuck is happening right now?”

“Nice win, boys!” Rye said, pushing past me and walking to the middle of the room, the center of attention, just as he preferred it.

“He’s so good at that,” Austin whispered to me, humor in his tone, with a tinge of pride as well. “Go find your guy.”

I slipped around the edge of the room to where Zak was leaning against a locker, watching me like a hawk.

“Hey,” I said lamely.

“Hey? Hey ? That’s what you have to say to me?” he hissed.

“Nice win?”

“I don’t know whether to punch you or kiss you,” he said, letting out a breathy chuckle.

“Probably neither right now,” I said, gathering my courage to keep talking. “But I could get a room and you could come stay with me and I might let you do both.” I rolled my lower lip between my teeth as I stared at him. “I’m sorry. I needed to figure some things out.”

“And did you? Figure it out?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Get the fuck out of here,” he said, and my heart sank before he continued. “We’re at the Palmer House. Text me your room number.”

I couldn’t hold back the grin that spread over my face. My body instinctively leaned slightly forward, but I caught myself and straightened back up, nodding before turning to collect Rye, who was holding court amongst the players.

“Great game guys,” I said to the team as I pushed my way through them. “We should let you get cleaned up.”

Everyone said their goodbyes and I shoved Rye toward the exit, where he fell in next to Austin and we made our way through the hallways to mix in with the crowds leaving the venue.

“So, what’s up?” Austin asked .

“Can you guys drop me off at the Palmer House?” I asked, already looking the hotel up on my phone.

“Told you we’d fix your Zak problem,” Rye said, punching me in the shoulder. “You should always listen to my advice.”

“I think I’ll keep filtering that, thanks,” I teased him. “But I do appreciate your help this week.”

“Well I appreciate you helping him out, too,” Austin said as we approached his car. “I was getting really sick of listening to him bitch about losing all of his creative skill because he couldn’t fix the drop in that fucking song.”

“Hey, piss off,” Rye told him, sliding into the passenger seat as I got in the back behind him. “You love when I bitch.”

“You’re right dear,” Austin agreed, turning the engine and entering into the line of cars exiting the lot. “It’s my favorite.”

They bickered all the way to the hotel and I realized that it might not be so strange after all that Zak and I had managed to create something out of our spite for each other .

Because Rye and Austin had done the same thing. And they were the happiest couple I’d ever seen.

So far, anyway.

With any luck, Zak and I might be able to give them a run for their money. If I hadn’t completely screwed up my chances with him.

****

After pacing my room for two hours I was starting to think Zak wasn’t going to come. Which would have served me right, to be honest. I’d been the one who ran out on him, then didn’t even text for almost a week. So turnabout would be fair play.

But he hadn’t texted me either, so really we were both being stupid.

Thankfully, a knock finally sounded at the door and I raced across the room to open it, grinning like an idiot when I saw him standing in the hallway.

“You thought I wasn’t coming,” he said as he pushed me backward into the room and kicked the door shut behind himself.

“I knew you’d come,” I lied .

“Just so you know, I’m still pissed at you,” he said before grabbing me and pulling me into a kiss.

I clung tightly to him, opening my lips and moaning as his tongue slid against mine. In that moment I promised myself that I’d never run away from him again. The moment I’d asked him not to tell me the words that scared the hell out of me played through my head as his hands trailed down my back and suddenly it was so clear to me how stupid I’d been about everything .

We separated slowly, meeting each other’s gazes as we stood just inside the room, silence falling over us for a solid minute before he finally broke it.

“Why did you just disappear on me?” he asked. “I was fine with you leaving. I understood it. What I don’t understand is how you could just ghost me like that.”

“I was waiting to get the pickles out of my system,” I said, forcing my face to stay neutral. “You really scared me when you— ”

“Fuck you,” he said, breaking into laughter. “Jesus Christ, Kellen. What am I going to do with you?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I am. But I meant what I told you earlier. I had to figure some stuff out. Not just with you. I’m struggling with the band, too. I didn’t mean to go radio silent, but I got caught up in a project and I just…I forgot to text you.”

“You forgot?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I insisted. “I realize that sounds like bullshit, but sometimes I get caught up in stuff and the rest of the world just disappears.”

It was one of the many, many frustrating aspects of my ADHD. Even though Zak was the most important thing to me, my brain only has so much capacity for processing, and if I’m hyper-fixated on something else…then there’s no room left for other things.

“Should I expect shit like that in the future?” he asked.

“Probably,” I admitted. “Just know that I’m not doing it on purpose. ”

“You point that out to me a lot,” he said. “Which makes me think there is a lot more going on with your life than you’ve let me in on. Who makes you feel like your challenges are a choice?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said.

“It matters to me.” He blew out a sigh and reached over to take my hand in his, tugging me toward the bed to sit next to him. “Kellen, I thought we were partners. If someone is hurting you, I need you to tell me about it. ”

“No one is hurting me. I know better than anyone how frustrating my issues can be. It’s not fair to expect other people to accommodate them.”

“It is, actually,” he argued. “But fine, I’ll drop it for now. I just need you to understand that I will never blame you or judge you for things that are completely out of your control. Don’t put that on me. Please.”

Once again, my stupidity through this situation hit me like a brick to the face. All I’d ever wanted was to be accepted for who I was. And here was Zak Dempsey, offering me exactly that. How could I have run away from him?

“I love you,” I told him.

“I know.”

“Did you just Han Solo me?” I asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

He had no fucking clue how close he was to revealing another truth. Unless he’d figured it out on his own. But how could he? No, he was just being funny…right?

“You don’t think you deserved that? Even a little?” He reached out and gripped my chin between his thumb and finger, holding my gaze for a solid thirty seconds before finally telling me what I’d been so scared to hear. “I love you, too.”

I climbed over him, straddling his lap as I pulled him into a deep kiss, my fingers carding into his hair as his hands dug into my back, holding me tightly against him.

He was so warm, his body so firm and tight and perfect. How was it even possible that someone like him could ever feel that way about me? That he could want me anywhere near as much as I wanted him? That he could love a mess like me?

Zak stood, lifting me and flipping us over in one smooth movement, his body laying over mine as his hands skimmed up my ribs, dragging my shirt up and over my head before tossing it aside and trailing soft kisses over my throat, nipping his way down my chest, sucking gently at my abdomen.

“When’s the last time you ate a jar of pickles?” he asked before tracing his tongue along the waistband of my jeans .

“I don’t think I’ll ever eat another pickled anything for the rest of my life,” I said.

“Good boy.”

God, I loved it when he called me that. I wasn’t sure why, but every time he did it sent flutters through my chest and stomach.

He wrenched open my jeans hard enough to lift my ass from the mattress for a second, then yanked them down my legs, taking my boxers with them and sliding to the floor to kneel between my legs .

With no hesitation he swallowed my tip between his lips, his mouth warm and wet, his tongue silky-smooth as it worked its way down my shaft.

“Oh my God,” I whispered as my tip hit the back of his throat and he swallowed, taking me to my base before easing off again.

I stared down at him, watching as he took me in over and over again, his fingers clenching into the bedspread on either side of my hips, his broad shoulders rising and falling with each breath he took through his nose when it wasn’t buried against my stomach.

Zak Dempsey was the sexiest man I’d ever seen in my life. And it was insane to think that he loved me just as much as I loved him. Crazy that this perfect specimen of male athleticism was on his knees for me, practically worshipping me the way I so desperately wanted to worship him for the rest of my life.

As he caressed my balls, they seized against my body, electricity racing up my spine causing my orgasm hit to hit me so hard and so quickly that I barely had time to grunt a warning before my release exploded out of me, my body trembling with pleasure as my shaft jerked and spasmed between his lips.

He swallowed thickly around me, a low moan escaping his throat and causing his tongue to vibrate against my skin, the sensation against my overly-sensitive body causing my back to arch off the mattress as I shook from the razor’s edge of pleasure and pain it sent through my nerves .

“I don’t have lube with me,” I warned him, my voice cracked and breathy as he kissed his way back up my chest, his body covering mine again.

I’d left my bags at Rye’s place, not realizing that I’d have the opportunity to be alone with Zak. And I knew he didn’t have anything with him. He couldn’t have hidden a wet wipe in those jeans they were stretched so tightly over his muscular body.

“Now who’s showing up unprepared?” he teased, leaning down to kiss me. “That’s probably for the best, actually. I have to be back in my room by midnight. Sutherland is doing checks because you were at the game.”

“What a dick,” I complained.

His eyes widened for a moment, then he chuckled, the vibration in his chest rumbling against mine.

He kissed me again before pushing off of me and getting to his feet with a groan. His erection was a visible outline pressed against those skintight jeans and I sat up, sliding forward to wrap my arms around his waist and press my face to his groin.

“I have to go,” he whined.

“I’ll be so fast,” I promised him as I reached for the button on his jeans.

“I’m sure I’d come the minute you touched me,” he said. “But I need to get downstairs.” He leaned forward and kissed me, bending at the waist as if to keep me from grabbing at him again. “I’ll call you next week, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, giving him my best pouty face .

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” he said, rolling his eyes as he reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. “You want it? Come take it.”

I moved forward, spreading his fly apart with one hand while pulling his erection free with the other.

He moaned low and deep as my mouth closed around him, his shaft hot and heavy against my tongue, my throat fighting not to allow his girth and convulsing around his tip.

I exhaled slowly through my nose, forcing all of my muscles to relax until finally I won the battle and slid further down his length.

“That’s it,” he whispered, his fingers carding into my hair, holding my head as his hips started to gently rock back and forth. “That feels so fucking good, baby. Fuck! Kellen…”

I eased off of him, letting his release spray over my face and chest, the hot, viscous fluid dripping from my skin as I stared up at him, his eyes wide, his chest heaving, his hands clenching to fists at his side .

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed. “You’re a God damned wet dream, you know that?”

I smiled as I licked at the corner of my mouth, almost sad that I’d wasted so much of the taste of him, but glad that he’d enjoyed the end result.

“See,” he said softly, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I supposed to leave now?”

“You’ll manage,” I promised him, pushing him backward so I could stand up. “And when you’re lying in bed later, knowing that I washed my face but not my chest—”

“Stop it!” He groaned as he raked his gaze over me. “You’re the worst.”

“And you love me,” I reminded him. I walked over to the sink and grabbed a towel from the hook to wipe my face.

“I really fucking do,” he agreed. “And I really have to leave now.”

I glanced up in the mirror and watched him tuck himself back into his jeans then walk up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, our reflections meeting each other’s gazes.

“I love you,” I told him, turning in his arms to lock my wrists behind his neck. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being you.” I shrugged.

He shook his head then leaned down and kissed me softly. Then he sighed and pulled away, turning to leave.

“I’ll talk to you soon,” he promised as he opened the door.

“Okay. ”

He left and I let out a shaky breath, leaning forward to rest my hands on the counter as I looked at myself in the mirror. I might not ever understand how he could fall in love with me, but I would be forever grateful that he had.