Sprinkle All The Way (Evergreen Lake: Under the Mistletoe)

Chapter 19

nineteen

VIOLET

My room is lit by nothing but the digital clock on the nightstand and the glow of the street light as I welcome the darkness after such a horrible day.

Once I got home I gave my parents a recap of how the night went before getting ready for bed. They promised to come tomorrow, and bring a few of their friends with them. Part of me wanted to push back when Noah said he wanted to go home alone, but I understood the need for solitude for a while.

I want to yell at this town for being so judgmental and I want to scream at Noah for not believing in himself. He was already so dejected, I wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. Hopefully by the morning he’ll be open to trying again.

When my phone vibrates next to me, and I answer it so quickly without registering who is calling because I’m sure it’s Noah.

“Violet? Thank God, I’ve been trying to reach you.” Greg’s shrill voice assaults my ears like nails on a chalkboard. I’m not sure how I ever thought it was sexy. Now it’s only annoying.

“There’s a reason I haven’t been replying,” I sigh into the phone .

“But, baby, I made a mistake,” he pleads as my eyes roll and I gag at the pet name.

“I don’t think you did,” I counter.

“Please, baby, give me one more chance. Come home.”

I scoff at the word ‘home,’ I could never think of anywhere with him as home again. Not when I feel more at home here, even if I don’t fully feel like I belong yet. “I’m not doing this. You broke up with me and I realized it was the best thing to ever happen to me. Goodbye Greg,” I say, ending the call without giving him a chance to reply.

I block his number and toss my phone across the bed, and now I’m fully pissed. Greg thinks he can call and tell me to come back and I’ll come running? Like he didn’t kick me out of our apartment without talking to me first. The audacity of some men is astounding.

That phone call was the last thing I needed after today. Yesterday ended so beautifully, but now I’m in the worst mood I’ve been in since I got home. I should’ve looked at who was calling before I answered.

The sound of the window opening makes me jump as I reach for the lamp on the nightstand to defend myself.

“I lied,” Noah says without any preamble as he crawls through the window. “I don’t want to be alone.”

My heart drops into my stomach, heavy with sadness for him but also filled with gratitude he’s here. Seeing how much he’s done and people in this town still don’t understand how amazing he is makes me want to go door to door and tell them about him. Placing the lamp back, I reach to pull out the second bed, but he ditches his shoes and crawls in next to me on top of the comforter. I have to move against the wall to make room for him. It used to be much easier for both of us to fit into this bed, now his large frame leaves me less room as he lays on his side next to me, our bodies touch and the heat of him warms me .

“You didn’t think to call first?” I ask as he adjusts himself so his head is near my shoulder. My heartbeat picks up when he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me to him like I’m the only thing he needs right now. His head moves to rest on my boobs and our legs intertwine around each other as his frame shrinks into me.

“Sorry, when I realized it, I didn’t want to wait any longer,” he admits, adjusting his head further up my body. “I can hear your heartbeat.”

“You scared me,” I partially lie, knowing that my heart is beating because he’s wrapped around me. “How are you doing?”

He does his best to shrug in the position we’re in as my hand rubs over his shoulder. “I took a shower and cried a lot, so I’m better. Feeling defeated.”

“They don’t know what they’re missing,” I tell him. “I’m still proud of you.”

“You’re probably the only one,” he laughs.

“Tomorrow will be better. Two steps forward?”

Noah groans, burrowing closer to me like I’m still not close enough to him. “Yeah, yeah, one step back. But I don’t want to think about that, I just want to sleep next to you.”

I don’t say anything, simply bringing my other hand to his hair and stroking it. He relaxes beneath my touch and I try to sort out everything going on in my head. Maybe he’s right and we are wasting our time, maybe I should stop thinking about opening my heart up to him. But the way he makes me feel is so different from anything I ever felt with Greg. If I open my heart to Noah fully and he ends up changing his mind I don’t know if I could survive another eight years of silence, but this risk might be worth the reward.

“Violet. I can’t sleep with all the thinking you’re doing. Talk it out with me. What’s going on in your head?” He gazes at me through his lashes breaking me out of my spiral. I don’t understand how he can understand me better than Greg ever did.

“Greg called me right before you got here,” I admit, but he stays silent waiting for me to continue. “He wants to get back together.”

“What do you think about that?” His eyes don’t leave mine. I look away, unwilling to admit I’m scared to love him completely with him looking at me like that.

“I’m thinking about how I’m scared of the unknown. Almost like how people feel about the deep sea. With Greg, I knew what to expect. I was comfortable in our relationship, even if I didn’t realize I was unhappy. Now there’s this unknown being back here and I don’t know if my heart is ready to take that risk of being hurt again so soon,” I admit. I hope that he picks up on him being the unknown, but I don’t know if he’s still feeling like he wants to try this thing between us after today. I need to know he won’t disappear again and change his number if things start getting serious with us.

“I don’t think you need to be afraid, not when you’ve got a first mate to your captain,” he says as his hands tighten into fists against my skin, leaning into my mention of the deep sea.

“Are you serious about that?” I counter, needing him to say more so I don’t unblock Greg’s number.

He sighs, pushing up and away from me which leaves his arms on either side of my waist and caging me between him. I can see his forearms flex and he twists his body to face me without falling off the bed. “You’re stubborn,” he glares at me, a hint of playfulness in his tone. “No, I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to try with you. I’m not going to leave you. This whole thing only works if we do it together. I can’t do this alone,” he tells me.

A small weight lifts from shoulders, thankful he’s not changing his mind after everything today. “That’s good, I blocked Greg,” I tell him so he knows I don’t have any second thoughts about us either, and that I’m in if he is.

He lets out a sigh of relief and starts to lower his body to mine when there’s a knock at the bedroom door.

“Honey, Dad and I are going to bed now,” Mom says through the door.

“Okay, goodnight,” I call, my voice breaking slightly on the last word as he hovers above me.

“Goodnight, and goodnight Noah,” she says, and my head falls to the headboard. My cheeks heat and I wonder how well he can see them in the dim lighting.

“Forgot they could hear us.” He laughs and lowers himself next to me.

“At least their room is on the other side of the house,” I mutter, running my hands over my face, the slight coolness of my palms calming the blush on my cheeks.

“That’s good,” he whispers, reaching and turning my face toward him. “Because I don’t want you to hold back.”

His eyes darken as he stares at me and I’m back in the moment before my mom interrupted, I’m sure he was about to kiss me again. I’ve been craving to be with him again, but I need to draw clear lines in the sand.

“What does this mean?” I ask, pointing my finger between us.

His hand moves down my arm to my hip, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “It means you’re my girlfriend. If that’s okay with you,” he says, moving an inch closer.

His hand on my hip moves in slow circles and I’m starting to lose the ability to talk, only able to nod in agreement.

“I also have a confession,” he tells me, moving closer again. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the other night and the way you touched yourself. I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I came over here when we were kids. At first I came over to kiss you, but I got too scared, then we became friends and I didn’t want to ruin that. Now I want to keep kissing you and be the one to make you fall apart this time. If that’s what you want. All you have to do is ask. Can you do that?”

His grip on my waist tightens and his fingers slip beneath the hem of my shirt, brushing against my skin. The touch sets me on fire and the ache between my thighs starts to overwhelm my senses.

“I want to be your girlfriend, and for you to kiss me again,” I admit through my heavy breathing, bringing the widest smile to his face. “But most of all I want you to make me come.”

His nails dig into my skin, and I arch into the touch. “As you wish,” he says and brings his lips to mine.