Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

44. would it be enough?

[ 44 ]

WOULD IT BE ENOUGH?

LENNON

“PEACE” BY TAYLOR SWIFT

T he nightmare started the same way they always do.

The flashing lights, the sirens in the distance, all my senses in overdrive. My head was throbbing, and I stared at the crowds of people, trying to remember what happened.

Usually, that’s when I’d look over and find my mom in the seat next to me and my dad in the back. I was prepared for that, hoping that, unlike the one I had a month ago, they would at least be alive this time.

But instead, it was Baxter in place of my mom.

I must’ve cried out for him when it happened. I woke up a few moments ago to find his arms wrapped tight around me and him repeating the words, “You’re safe,” over and over again.

I don’t remember what happened next. I know the rest of the nightmare played out, but all of it and even the image my mind invented of him with a piece of glass sticking out of his chest is blurry.

I’ve never not remembered the entire nightmare before. I can recall nearly every single nightmare I’ve had since the accident in clear detail.

But not this one.

I’m so used to waking up alone and dealing with the painful memories on my own. Part of me wonders if having him next to me, holding me through it, helped to block out the rest of it.

If that’s the case, then I never want to sleep without him again.

I haven’t said anything yet, and since my back is to him, I don’t think he’s realized I’m awake. I’ve just been lying here wrapped in his arms, trying to calm my breathing while I listen to the sound of his voice.

Trying to convince myself it wasn’t real.

It wasn’t real .

Logically, I know that. But it felt real. And even though I can’t see it anymore, when your mind has played tricks on you as much as mine has, constantly making up a new version of the accident, it becomes hard to separate the truth from the lie.

“Baxter?” I finally say once my breathing has steadied and my heart rate has slowed.

His response is to pull me tighter against him, burrowing his face in my hair. “Lennon.” He says my name with relief and hope, like it’s a prayer. “You’re safe, baby.”

The butterflies in my stomach flutter when he calls me that.

Exhaling deeply, I pull myself out of his grasp so I can roll over. The room is dark, but there’s a soft blue glow over the bed from the moonlight shining in his window.

After the hearing earlier, Baxter asked me to come back to his place for the night. Despite the rule of no sleepovers, I didn’t take much convincing. I’d much rather be here with him than alone in my bed.

I rest my hand on his cheek as he tangles his fingers in my hair. We stare at each other like that for a while until he finally breaks the silence to ask if I’m okay.

“I am now,” I tell him softly .

The corner of his mouth quirks up at that.

“It was the accident again.”

He shifts his head to press a kiss to the inside of my palm. “Better or worse?”

Than the last one, is what he’s asking.

I swallow. “Different.” His brows pull together in question, so with a sigh, I add, “It wasn’t my parents in the car with me. It was you.”

His jaw flexes against my hand.

“It wasn’t real,” he tells me firmly. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know.” I smile sadly. “I don’t remember the rest of it. I think it’s because of you.”

He swallows. “Colt has nightmares, too. I know from experience with him that waking someone up in the middle of a nightmare can make things worse—like a guarantee that they’ll remember it all. So, I just let you know you’re not alone. I used to do the same for him. It was nothing.”

My eyes water. This man has a heart of gold, and it’s a shame he doesn’t let people see it more.

“It was everything. It’s the first time I’ve ever woken up from a nightmare and not been able to replay it in my mind. You did that for me.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, Lennon.”

I nod, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Thank you.”

We continue staring at each other until eventually he dozes off again. I let my eyes flutter shut, too, and for the first time since I started getting nightmares, I manage to fall back to sleep.