Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

45. too close

[ 45 ]

TOO CLOSE

BAXTER

“I AM THE HIGHWAY” BY AUDIOSLAVE

T he next morning, I wake to the sound of my phone ringing. Lennon is still curled up in my arms from her nightmare, and I give myself a moment to appreciate her this way—calm, peaceful, ethereal. Her nightmare last night scared the shit out of me, but knowing she won’t remember it today makes every bit of fear I felt worth it.

My phone begins to ring again, so I quietly unravel myself from her to see who it is. Rolling over, I glance at the clock to see it’s not even seven a.m. before unplugging my phone from its charger. When I see the words UNKNOWN NUMBER flashing across the screen, I stand from the bed, moving toward my ensuite bathroom.

I swipe my thumb across the bottom of the screen. “Hello?”

At my greeting, the words, “ This is a collect call from the Toronto South Detention Centre. This call will be recorded. Please press one to answer ,” come through the other end.

I freeze in place .

I know who’s calling. It’s the one person I promised myself I’d never speak to again. But the fact that I’m receiving this call after the events of yesterday and at quarter-to-seven in the morning has my interest piqued.

Considering for a moment longer, I poke my head back into my room to find Lennon still sleeping soundly. I shut the bathroom door so she won’t overhear, exhaling deeply.

Then I do as the recording says and press one.

“Hello, Baxter,” are the first words I hear when the line clicks, and my heart drops at the sound of his voice.

Fuck.

“Was nice of you to come to the trial yesterday. Though it’s unfortunate things went the way they did, isn’t it?”

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. Nothing good is going to come from this conversation.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want you to help me. I want you to put an end to this mess.”

“What makes you think I would do anything to help you?”

His answering laugh is nothing but evil. “We both know things aren’t going to go my way this afternoon, thanks to that little girlfriend of yours. Nice going, by the way. She’s hot, even if she is the reason I’m going to prison.”

I grit my teeth at his mention of Lennon. “Don’t fucking talk about her. You killed her parents. What did you expect?”

“Well, it definitely wasn’t for my very own brother to be fraternizing with the people trying to ruin my life.”

I grit my teeth, my heart sinking into my stomach at his mention of our relationship.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re not my brother anymore,” I grit out in a whisper. “My brother died nearly eleven years ago in the same accident that killed Mom. You ruined your life all on your own.”

He hums. “That may be true. But it’s also true that with one little phone call, you could make it all go away for me. You owe me, after all.”

“ I owe you ?” I scoff. “You’re out of your damn mind. Glad to see the years of drinking have finally caught up to you.”

“You abandoned me!” he shouts. “Mom died, Dad went to prison, and before I even turned eighteen, you left , never to be seen or heard from again. You skipped out on me and left me to fend for myself.”

“This phone call is about eleven years too late. You are the reason I cut you off. That day in the courtroom for Dad’s trial ringing any bells?”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

“ Everything you said wasn’t true!” I huff, ensuring I keep my voice low. “You took his side for killing our mother , and you expected me to be okay with that?”

“Whatever,” he scoffs. “Make the phone call, or I’ll ruin your life just like your girlfriend’s family is ruining mine.”

“Your threats mean nothing to me. Nothing you do is going to change anything.”

Except even as I say it, I know it’s not true.

“You sure about that? I’m guessing Lennon doesn’t know about your relation to me then, does she?”

I swallow roughly. I knew not telling her sooner would come back to bite me.

“If you don’t help me, I’m telling the world I’m your brother. We’ll see how people feel about the infamous Baxter James once they find out he’s related to the man responsible for the deaths of the world’s biggest rock stars.”

“No one will believe you. No one will care.” The words feel sour on my tongue as I say them, because I know they aren’t true in the slightest.

Lennon will care. And her opinion is the only one I care about anymore.

“Guess we’ll see. If I go down today, I’m taking you with me. ”

“Go fuck yourself. I told you you’re dead to me. Stay that way this time.”

I hang up before he can say anything more. When I push the bathroom door open to find Lennon still asleep in my bed, there’s a pit in my stomach that wasn’t there before.

We take our seats at the front of the room, and I keep my eyes locked on the back of Logan’s head as the jury returns to the panel.

The room is silent as the judge enters, immediately looking toward the jury.

“Has a decision been made?”

“It has, Your Honour,” one of the members states.

The court officer at the front moves toward them to retrieve the piece of paper with the final verdict on it, and I hold my breath.

It’s crazy to me that that piece of paper holds Logan’s fate. That piece of paper is currently the only thing standing in the way of him either rotting in prison for the rest of his life or walking free, living to commit vehicular manslaughter another day.

I know what I want it to say. I want him to suffer the same way I did after our mom died. I want him to realize his actions have consequences, and that despite what he told me in the courtroom all those years ago, he’s the only one of us who’s like our father.

I want him to know I won.

But at the same time, part of me is worried about what he’ll do. His threats shouldn’t scare me. He’s just looking for someone other than himself to blame.

But the thing is, I know he’s not bluffing. He has nothing left to lose, so he wants to get back at me for cutting him off all those years ago. But I did it because I had to. My brother was slowly morphing into our father, the man I hate most in the world, and I couldn’t sit by and watch it happen any longer .

I knew then that he would end up here. I just didn’t think he’d hold any power over me when he did.

A hush falls over the crowd as the judge begins to speak.

“In the case of Thorne v. Jameson , the defendant being charged with one count of driving under the influence and two counts of impaired driving causing death, the verdict is…”

She pauses to open the piece of paper, rolls her lips together, and then closes it.

“Guilty.”

I watch Logan’s jaw tense as the room around me erupts in cheers. Lennon smiles as she wraps her arms around me, but over her shoulder, I keep my gaze trained on Logan.

It was the best possible outcome, the one everyone wanted and expected, myself included. But as I watch the court officer drag him away, watch him mouth the words, “ You’re done ,” as he leaves, the pit in my stomach grows even bigger.

If nothing else, at least Logan is still good for one thing. He’s forcing my hand—just like he did when I cut him off. He’s giving me no choice but to come clean with the secret I’ve been keeping for months.

I can’t wait any longer. I have to tell Lennon. And I have to hope that when I do, she’ll be able to forgive me. Or else Logan will have been right about one thing.

He went down.

And he took me down with him.