Stealing the Show (PolyAm Fam #3)

Chapter 20

twenty

leo

I texted Raine but didn’t hear back. It had been a couple of hours now since her appointment with the theater folks. I assumed she’d come back here afterward so we could get another round or two in before her egg expired. Maggie was adamant that it only lived for twenty-four hours, so we had limited time to shoot as many swimmers up there as possible.

Maybe she didn’t get as good of news at the appointment as we thought she would?

Blue and I curled up on the sofa watching an afternoon baseball game, and I must have drifted off because the ringing phone made me jolt awake. It was Maggie.

“Hello?” I managed in my groggy half-asleep voice.

“Sleeping on the job?” accused my wife.

“Hey, baby. How’s the conference today?”

“It’s fine. Wrapping up this afternoon, and then the final session is tomorrow morning until noon. Then I’m on the plane and will be back in Indy by six o’clock,” she reminded me as if I wasn’t counting down the hours till she was back home.

“Good. Wow, the time’s gone fast, hasn’t it?” I yawned and stretched, trying to get my brain and body back into daytime mode.

“Maybe for you,” she scoffed. “You got to spend all your time fucking, right?”

“Well, I think we made it five rounds,” I reported.

“Didn’t you get another one in this afternoon?” Her voice had gone from teasing to serious in a heartbeat.

I blinked a few times. “What time is it?” It was still bright outside, but it was that golden late afternoon light.

“It’s almost five o’clock there. It’s three o’clock here in Denver,” she said.

“Oh, right. Um…Raine had a meeting on campus this morning, and she hasn’t come back yet.”

“What do you mean she hasn’t come back?” Now there was panic in her voice as well.

Blue hopped off the sofa and looked up at me forlornly, his take me out now, or I’m gonna shit on your floor look. “Well, I texted her around noon, but I didn’t hear back.”

There was silence, and that was bad. Very bad. I braced myself for the impact as I walked over to get Blue’s leash. He trotted behind me, right on my heels.

“Leo, what do you mean you didn’t hear back?” Her voice sounded beyond panicked now.

“Exactly what I said. She didn’t text me back.” I clipped the leash to Blue’s collar and opened the back door.

“But you guys were supposed to fuck again this afternoon,” she said as if I’d forgotten her rigorous—and rather vigorous, for that matter—fucking schedule.

“I know that, but she didn’t come back here after her meeting, and she didn’t return my text.” I led Blue down the steps and to the tree line, his preferred pooping location.

“Did you call her?”

“Well, no, but?—”

“What were you doing all afternoon?” she demanded.

“Well, Blue and I watched some baseball, and then?—”

“Then you fell asleep, right?” It was most certainly an accusation.

Oh no, now the lawyer is coming out.

“Do you have her address?” Maggie asked next, but it still sounded vaguely accusatory.

“Um…no?”

“I’ll text it to you,” she said. “Go over to her apartment and check on her, for fuck’s sake.”

“Well, maybe she’s sick, or something bad happened at the meeting.” Wow, she was really freaking out about this, wasn’t she? What was she going to do when Raine actually got pregnant? Expect an hourly check-in?

“Go find out. And call me back later,” she instructed.

I sighed. “Fine.”

I couldn’t afford to have two women upset with me, though I had no idea why Raine would be upset. Maybe Maggie was right. I should go make sure she was okay.

raine

I had been curled up in a ball for so long, my joints ached when I finally moved. Climbing down from my bed, I noted it was almost six o’clock. The sun was starting to sink in the sky, but it was still bright. Maybe the humidity had eased up. I didn’t plan to find out.

Bonnie was going to be gone all evening, and for that I was grateful. I only wanted to be alone right now. I’d ignored texts and calls from Leo and Maggie. What was I supposed to say?

My day had been a total roller coaster, and now I was at the very bottom.

Food? I asked myself. No.

My stomach was still full of that Belgian waffle and plenty of self-loathing. I wasn’t even supposed to be here.

My mother wanted to abort me. I was conceived through…rape? I guess? She said she was drunk. That meant she couldn’t give consent. She likely didn’t even know who my father was. And I would never find out any more than that.

She didn’t want me then. She didn’t want me now.

I was just some random person who wasn’t wanted and shouldn’t even be here.

As I contemplated a shower, I realized I had been sitting on the edge of my bed for at least twenty minutes. Then there was a knock at the front door.

“Go away!” I shouted in the general direction of said door.

I should be working on my costumes for the Brown County theater.

I should be working on my thesis project.

I should be drowning my sorrows in liquor.

I should just be drowning.

“Raine?! Are you in there? C’mon, open up!” came a deep, gruff voice through the door.

Leo.

Fuck. If I didn’t answer him, he’d probably call his cop buddies over here. And if I told him what I was thinking…he’d probably have me committed.

My entire body throbbed with pain, from my head to my feet, as I staggered toward the door. Makeup was likely smeared all over my face. My hair was a wreck. I’d taken off the dress I’d worn to my meeting today, and all I had on was a ratty Taylor Swift concert tee and my panties.

The persistent knocking came again, louder this time. “Raine, please open up. I need to know you’re okay.”

I groaned before swinging the door open.

Leo was standing there in basketball shorts and a loose-fitting t-shirt, something about a police charity 5K. Concern was etched on his face, and as soon as he assessed my condition, he opened his arms wide.

Second breakdown he’d witnessed in the last two days. Fuck, what kind of baby could I give him?

A mentally unstable one.

He deserved better. Maggie deserved better.

“Just let me hold you,” he pleaded, spreading his arms even wider. The concern in his voice gutted me, and my body just gravitated to those open arms like there were magnets in them, and I was made of iron. And maybe I was.

He wrapped those arms around me and squeezed me to his chest. “I guess you don’t want to talk about it since you didn’t answer my calls or texts.”

I silently sobbed into his broad chest, his warmth drawing tears out of me somehow when I thought they’d long since dried up. How could I tell him? How…could I even go on with myself?

He reached down and swept me off my feet, lifting my bulky frame into his massive arms, and then he carried me to my bed. Just like yesterday morning, he laid me down on the mattress and climbed in next to me, pulling me back into his embrace as I said absolutely nothing.

He just held me there, whispering to me in deep, dulcet tones, “It’s okay, baby, I’m here. I’ve got you. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. I’ll take care of you. Let me take care of you, baby.”

maggie

By five o’clock Colorado time, I still had not heard back from Leo. I tried to call and got his voicemail. I didn’t even bother trying Raine. Something was going on, and being this far away was sending bolts of anxiety through me like lightning strikes. I was at dinner with one of my lawyer friends, and she noticed I was visibly trembling.

“Maggie? What’s up?” Lorelei’s concerned gaze roved my face. “You haven’t touched your dinner. Is there something wrong with it?”

“No, it’s not that.” I stared at my phone helplessly.

“You still haven’t heard back from your husband?”

Lorelei and I had known each other for a long time—we met in law school. She now practiced law in Maryland, so I didn’t see her often, only at conferences. But we stayed in contact. She didn’t know everything going on in my life, but she did know Leo and I were looking into surrogates.

I shook my head. “No…he isn’t answering his phone either.”

“He’s not at work, right?” she asked, and I shook my head. “You’re sure he wasn’t called out for work?”

She knew about his work with the crisis management team. I shrugged. “Maybe. It’s possible. But I can’t shake the feeling something bad happened.”

I couldn’t explain that there was an issue with our girlfriend/surrogate, and I felt completely out of control right now. The lack of communication was only magnifying my panic.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “What can you do to make yourself feel better right now? Do you want to order a drink? Would that relax you?”

“No, no. I’ll be okay.” I forced a smile as I met her concerned gaze. She smiled back, and I returned to pushing the vegetable medley around on my plate. My stomach was churning—there was no way I was going to keep any food down like this. It all sounded so unappetizing.

“You know, the thing tomorrow morning isn’t that important. You could see if you could switch your flight…?” she suggested. She knew how rare it was for me to be this out of sorts.

I sighed. She had a point. Maybe I could change my flight.

“I can take notes for you tomorrow. I hate to think of you being miserable all night,” she continued.

“Okay. Let me check.” I pulled out my phone and brought up the airline’s app. After doing a quick search, I saw it was possible to switch my flight to one at eight o’clock tonight. I’d land in Indianapolis well after midnight, but my car was parked there. I could just drive home early and surprise Leo. We’d get this mess figured out.

“Thank you, Lorelei. You’ve always been a great friend to me.” This time when I smiled at her, it was genuine.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get you to follow your heart. I know all this fertility stuff has been really hard on you, my friend. I am really praying that everything works out for you guys. I know you’re going to make incredible parents.” She grabbed my hand across the table and squeezed it tenderly.

“Thank you. Here, I’ll leave some cash for my part of the check. Then I better go get packed up and hustle to the airport.” Just making this decision was already lifting some of the panic.

When I stood up, Lorelei gathered me into her arms and whispered in my ear, “Best of luck, sweetie. I know everything’s going to work out for you guys.”

But as I headed back to my room, a shudder racked my body as I imagined horrifying reasons for Leo and Raine to go incommunicado.