Stuck With My Christmas Crush (Sweet Christmas Kisses)

14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Charlie

“ H ow about you call him and stop moping around like a world-class moping around champion?” Lou says exasperation in every syllable. She flops down onto the couch next to me in our living room.

Festive lights pulse in multi-colored disco rhythms around the window looking out to the street. An illuminated snowman takes up position in the corner, opposite our enormous, over-decorated Christmas tree. I scan the chaotic loops of tinsel and all manner of ornamentation that are haphazardly crammed into our living room, from floor to ceiling, and think about Jason.

It’s been a week since I was snowed in with the most beautiful man in the world and his big smelly dog, and I can’t quite get back to normal. Whatever normal is. It’s as if I left a part of myself in that little gatehouse, like an abandoned sock left under the bed.

“Call who?” I say back to my roommate.

After we cleared the snow from the driveway and shoveled it away from the gate so it would open, Jason hooked up my car and towed me to a garage in my neighborhood. It was slow going on the country back roads, wet with meltwater runoff and treacherous with fallout from the storm. We had to stop a couple of times to move large branches off the road so we could pass. The city streets were better, having been cleared, then scattered with grit, to stop the expected ice-rink freeze up. Thankfully, traffic was minimal. Sitting in Bertie’s driver’s seat, my foot covered the brakes, as we coasted into the outer suburbs, then to the car mechanic, who is familiar with my ancient rust bucket of a vehicle. Miraculously, the sign on the customer’s door displays Open .

Jason stops in the parking lot and unhooks the tow rope. I pull on the hand brake, open the door, and get out. I’m nervous and I don’t know what to say. Jason speaks first.

“We made it.” He coils the rope around his hand and elbow. “I hope you can get him fixed. And it’s not going to be too expensive.” I nod. “It may even be worth looking around for a new car.”

“A new old car?”

Jason laughs. “Yeah. A newer car in better working condition. Something reliable and road-worthy.” I nod some more and try to think of something to say, but everything seems trite and clichéd. I open my mouth, then close it again. “You okay?” asks Jason.

“Yes. Sure. I’m fine. Everything’s fine. And, Jason… thank you. Really, I… don’t know what else to say, but… You saved my life. I’m not even being dramatic. Which is unlike me. I’m nearly always dramatic.”

“Charlie.” Jason interrupts my blathering. “You are welcome. I’m happy we got you back safely, so…” He extends his hand out for me to shake. Formal. Business-like. Impersonal.

“So… hasta la vista, baby ?”

“Yes.” Jason laughs and I feel my cheeks color up as I cringe at my inappropriate Terminator reference. “Take care, Charlie. Maybe I’ll see you again. ”

Then Jason; love of my life; the most beautiful man in the world; my hero; my everything, takes a step back and gets into his Chevy. He starts the engine and drives away. And what do I do? Nothing. I just stand there, rooted to the spot, with a million astonishing thoughts on quick-fire, pinging around my brain.

I want to run after him and jump through his open window and cover him with kisses and tell him how I feel. But I don’t do anything. I just stand there in the mechanic’s parking lot and watch him go.

“Jase the Ace, of course. Charlie.” Lou is still exasperated. “You are getting a medal for denial.”

“I can’t call him. I don’t know what to say.” I slump back into the cushions. “I’ll just wait until he calls me.”

“What? After you said, hasta la vista, baby, in your Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. He’s never going to call you.”

“No. you’re right, Lou. I blew it. The Terminator reference was the kiss of death, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.” Lou sighs theatrically. “But stranger things have happened. And, from what you’ve told me about what happened up there at his place, I think he really likes you. ”

“It did seem that way. At the time. And that’s what he said to his dog.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for an appropriate delay before he calls you, because he doesn’t want to appear needy or desperate,” my friend says encouragingly. “Or, maybe he’s shy and waiting for you to call him.”

“Maybe. But I don’t want to appear needy or desperate either.”

“No, you won’t,” says Lou, turning sideways to face me with a glint in her eye. “Because you are the rescuee who is super grateful and must contact the person who saved her life and give them a thank-you gift. Or something. Charlie.” Lou thumps my leg. “And besides, then you’ll know one way or the other if you imagined - now how did you put it? – ‘Jason’s soft searching look in the candlelight’.”

“Oh, Lou.” I clasp my hands to my face wanting to hide. “I feel such a dummy. There was no soft searching look. It was only the candlelight. I imagined the whole ‘spark’ thing.” I’m agitated and stand up to pace up and down. “I tell you what. I’m going to drive over there. Like you said, I’ll give Jason a thank-you gift and then we’ll see what happens next. Maybe nothing. Maybe something.”

“Great! That’s great. And you’ll stop moping around and being a big sad sack of sadness. Now, what are you going to get the man who saved your life? ”

“Something amazing! Something he didn’t know he needed. Something special that no one else would think to give him.”

“A watch.”

“He has a Fitbit.” I keep pacing.

“Okay.”

“A Harry Potter wizard wand. I’ll order one online.”

“No. It’ll take too long to arrive.”

“Yes, you’re right.” I pace some more and think. “Juggling balls.”

“Does he juggle?”

“No. But I can teach him.”

“Actually,” Lou says tapping her fingers, thoughtfully, on her lips. “That might work.”

“I know,” I say still pacing. “I’ll get Rocko a new collar. A Christmas collar for special occasions.”

“That’s a great idea. A gift for the dog. Brilliant.”

Everything seemed rational and in place when I was discussing the gift with Lou. Even Calvin said it was a genius stroke when we ran the idea past him about a Christmas dog collar for Rocko. He assured me that, from a guy’s perspective, it shows thoughtfulness without being over-the-top emotional or too personal.

Now I’m in the car, driving out to the closed-up Mansion Hotel, I’m rethinking my gift choices. I did get the juggling balls in the end after a great deal of deliberation. And I wrapped them up with a note saying that I could teach Jason to juggle any time he wants to learn.

So, there are two gifts on the seat beside me. And the bag of clothes that I borrowed from my life-saving hero. Jason said I could keep them, but it didn’t seem right. However, I did enjoy sleeping in his t-shirt and I almost kept it. But then, I thought, what if he notices that all the items are there in the bag except one t-shirt? Then, I’d have had to think of something else to say that doesn’t sound creepy or weird. Something other than the truth. Yes, Jason. I kept that t-shirt because it smells of you. I hope you don’t mind…

As I approach the hotel gate my stomach twists and flutters with anticipation. I check myself. I’ve never been this jittery before. I park on the road outside the gate, and I take a deep breath before getting out of my newly-fixed car. Then, I see Rocko. He barks and wags his tail when he sees me. I grab the gifts and bag of clothes and walk over to where he is with his paws high up on the gate .

“Rocko! It’s so great to see you.” I reach in with my spare hand and ruffle his soft ears. “Where’s your friend? Is he home or is my timing all off?”

Rocko nuzzles my hand and leans in for a pat through the wrought ironwork.

I look up the driveway. There’s no sign of Jason’s Chevy. I notice how different the place looks from how I remember it. There’s no snow today. I know I shouldn’t be sad about that, but Christmas is only two weeks away and it would be so nice to have that frosty festive feeling to go with my gifts.

I pull the chain through each side to let myself in, then pull the gate shut and replace the chain. Rocko trots along ahead of me to the gatehouse. I call out hello, then listen for a reply. I knock on the door and wait. Nothing.

I’m disappointed. I should have called to make sure Jason would be here. But then, perhaps it’s better this way. I leave the bag of clothes on the shelf by the door and the wrapped up juggling balls in Christmas paper with a shiny satin ribbon, and the card that reads, Merry Christmas. I hope all your dreams come true. I wrote my number on the card too and said that Lou, Calvin and I would love to invite him for Christmas dinner, if he’s available.

I unwrap Rocko’s present and fasten the red tartan collar around his powerful neck. It was the biggest size in the store, and it fits perfectly. I snap off a sprig of holly with berries from a bush nearby and attach it to the brass buckle.

“Merry Christmas, Rocko. Don’t you look handsome?”

Then, I have a brainwave. Jason may be in the hotel, fixing it up or whatever. Maybe the Chevy is parked around the back, out of sight.

Rocko pads along with me as I walk from the gatehouse to the hotel’s front door. I cup my hands beside my head and peer in through the elegant etched windows surrounding the large, impressive door. A gust of wind blows brittle brown leaves in a swirl around my feet on the marble floor of the stone portico. Then I hear a child’s laughter, so I walk around to the back of the house.