Succeeding Love

Left Overs

Nick went to watch the game with Preston like I suggested, giving me space to pack the rest of the dinner I planned to take over to human Kevin and his mother.

Kevin was pacing by the garage door, knowing the routine. I had a grocery tote with the lasagna at the bottom, garlic bread on top of that, and then a thermal bag with half of the chocolate pie in a plastic container and the rest of the salad in another. It was a full meal, enough to feed three or four people.

After checking in on Nick and the kids, seeing that they were alright, I took Kevin and the bag and headed out, going straight towards the Trude’s home. The lights were on, which I was grateful for. The sprinklers came on at night, making her walkway slippery in some spots. She had tripped on those slick spots in the past, and I’d lost my footing a time or two. Maybe her son could do something about those spots now that he was living with her.

I rang the doorbell, expecting Velma to answer, but I was face to face with human Kevin once again.

Having to turn my face up so suddenly to greet him, “Wow, you’re tall,” slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

He laughed wholeheartedly, his smile making his tough demeanor seem so much more gentle. “Wow, you’re short,” he answered, patting my head.

“Am not,” I muttered. “I’m average.”

“If you say so. What can I do for you, average Feighlynn?”

I lifted the bag I had carried over in front of me like an offering. “I come bearing gifts! Well, leftovers. We had a lot left, and I thought maybe you would want to try some.”

“Yes, thank you!” He took the bag from my hands, taking a deep inhale from inside of it. His eyes rolled back in satisfaction, which made something tingle in my chest. “I was just about to microwave two cans of Spaghettios and pretend they were lasagna.”

“That sounds horrible,” I giggled.

“A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.”

“Well, I hope this eases that burden a little. If you ever find yourself in a Spaghettio crisis again, feel free to stop by. We always have enough to share.”

“If this lasagna is half as good as it smells, I’ll have to take you up on that.”

I smiled, blushing slightly from the praise. Cooking was just another task on my daily list of things to do. It always has been. I haven’t received genuine praise about anything related to my cooking in a long time.

Human Kevin stood awkwardly for a second, and I was about to bid him goodnight and finish my walk, but then he asked, “Would you like to come in?”

“That’s okay,” I grinned gratefully. “Your mom isn’t too fond of dogs, and Kevin still needs to go for his walk.” I pressed my lips together, seeing the playful grin spreading on his face. “Doggy Kevin. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he chuckled. He crouched down to pet my Kevin just like he did earlier today. “This Kevin is a good boy. Aren’t you? Aren’t you, boy?”

“Aw, are you baby talking to my dog?”

It was his turn to get all flushed in the face. “Maybe.” The muscled military man looked shy and pouty. “I like dogs.” He then reverted to the baby talk. “Especially dogs with cool names like Kevin.”

Kevin licked at human Kevin’s face excitedly. Human Kevin leaned into it, rubbing his neck with matching enthusiasm.

“Kevin is a cool name, but having two of you around might get confusing. I’m going to stick my head outside and yell for Kevin one day and you might come running over.”

“That would be a problem,” human Kevin chuckled. “You could just call me Trude. I’m used to it after twenty-two years in the Army.”

“But then, what if your mom comes running?” I giggled.

“Do you plan on sticking your head out the door and yelling Trude very often?” he smirked.

I shrugged. “I have leftovers often.”

“Hmm, you’re right. That may not work then. How about this,” he rubbed his hand on his chin, “What about a nickname?”

“I could just call you the human,” I said jokingly.

“Nah. You’d have all the neighbors running for my leftovers, then. How about just Kev? Or Vin?”

“I like Vin,” I smiled. “You have a Vin sort of vibe.”

“Like a certain actor that stars in a never-ending series of movies about fast cars?”

“I was thinking of Riddick , but sure,” I shrugged.

“Oh, that’s a good movie. I forgot about Riddick . I’ll have to see if I can find it to stream later while I’m eating my leftovers.”

“You can borrow it if you like. I have the Blu-ray.”

He laughed softly. “Thanks, but I don’t even think mom has a Blu-ray player.”

“We don’t either. My son’s old Playstation is in the den, which is what I use.”

“I don’t even have a Playstation,” he chuckled dryly. “At forty, video games aren’t really my thing anymore.”

I wondered what his thing to do for fun could be, but I don’t want to be intrusive by asking. I was thinking about inviting him over to watch it, but it seemed a little inappropriate to ask that of my new neighbor. Thinking about it in my head, it sounded like a cheesy line from a chick flick when a girl is trying to get a guy up to her apartment. I don’t want Kevin, or Vin, to get the wrong impression of me, or have his mother getting the wrong idea.

Just then, a stray cat leaped down from a tree in the Trude’s front yard and went darting down the street. It caught Kevin’s attention, and he bolted after it in a flash, too fast for me to tighten my grip on his leash. He broke away and sprinted after the stray.

“Kevin!” I yelled, but it was too late. “Well, shoot,” I muttered, then went chasing after him. I’m not athletic, so running wasn’t my forte. After about fifty feet, my lungs were already burning, and I knew I would not catch up with my dog. I hunched over, trying to catch my breath, debating if I wanted to get in my car and chase him, or just wait right there until he came back.

Before I could decide, human Kevin sprinted past me, surprising me and making me falter back. He was fast. Much more athletic and faster than me. Luckily, the cat stopped to climb a tree at the end of the street, and Kevin stayed at the base, jumping up to find some foothold on the bark. Human Kevin quickly approached him seconds later, grabbing the leash while my Kevin continued to frantically chase after the cat.

“Thank goodness.” I placed my hand over my heart. Last time Kevin ran off like that, it took both me and Preston circling the block for half an hour to get him back home. He’s an obedient dog, but likes to chase.

Walking to meet the two Kevins halfway, I laughed, replaying what had just happened over in my head.

“What’s so funny?” Vin asked as I got closer.

“You,” I bit my lip, trying to hold in my laughter, but it was no use. “You’re funny.”

“Uh, I just saved your dog’s life,” he said defensively. “That cat was about to claw his face off.”

“You’re our hero,” I giggled. “Just like Riddick .”

He threw his head back and laughed. “That was a fast and furious moment.”

“How so?” There were no cars, so I was curious.

“Um, I was running fast, and that cat was furious.”

“Of course,” I bit back my grin.

“I almost died.”

“You’re right,” I nodded seriously. “It was a close call.”

“As long as you know,” he grinned crookedly, handing me the leash.

I took Kevin back, then started lightly scolding him for chasing the cat. “Bad, Kevin. We don’t chase cats.”

“Aw, he’s still a good Kevin. He was protecting the street from the devil cat.”

“Devil cat?” I lifted a brow.

“All cats are demons. Didn’t you know that?”

“No, they’re not,” I laughed. “They’re fluffy and cute.”

“And selfish and total assholes. They take pleasure in knocking shit over and tripping unsuspecting humans.”

“I take it you don’t like cats?”

“Nope,” he gagged. “Hate them. I’m definitely a dog man.”

“I think you need a kitten as a housewarming gift,” I teased him.

“I think the neighborhood will get another stray if you do.”

“Aw, would you really throw a kitten out into this cold, cruel world all alone?”

“You’re right,” he nodded seriously. “I’ll re-gift it back to you.”

“Well, that’s better, I guess,” I laughed wholeheartedly. I don’t think I have laughed or smiled this much without forcing myself to in years. “You know, you’re really easy to talk to, Vin , my action hero.” I looked up at his face and caught the pink hue on his thick neck and cheeks highlighted under the streetlights. It stood out from the tattoo on his nape.

“Well, thanks. You’re tolerable too, I guess.”

“Aw, aren’t you a sweetie?” I giggled.

We were almost back at our houses when Nick’s car came to life in my driveway. We stood still and watched as he backed up and sped away. I guess it is getting pretty late, and Preston isn’t one to make his dad feel welcome.

“Was that your, um, your ex-husband?”

I smiled tightly and nodded. “It’s getting late. He probably needed to get back to his girlfriend. He just wanted to hang out with the kids for the evening.”

“Must be awkward for you,” Vin commented.

I shrugged. “It’s not too bad. I don’t want my kids to have a poor relationship with their father. I would rather feel awkward than have them feel abandoned.”

Vin stared down at me, contemplating for a moment. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I thought you were way too young to have a daughter that old.”

I smirked with a glint in my eye. “I have another child, too. He’s older. Sixteen.”

“Sixteen?! You can’t be over twenty-eight.”

“Aw, you just became my new best friend. No, I’m thirty-five. We had Preston when I was young, then three years later, right after I graduated from college, we had Jessie.”

“So young,” he whispered.

“Yeah. I’m using myself as an example to my kids of why you don’t marry young. People change too much,” I sighed. “But I got my babies, so I have no complaints. They’re pretty outstanding.”

“They must take after their mother.” He continued to stare at me, and I felt self-conscious under his gaze. It wasn’t a passive stare, or merely observing. It was a look that I felt against my skin, and made me feel that tingling feeling inside once again, just like I felt when his face lit up seeing I brought him food. He’s a little disarming, which makes me feel vulnerable.

Man, he could probably hear my heart pounding in my chest. I can hear it pulsing behind my ears. “I, uh, should go in,” I murmured. “School day tomorrow.”

He slipped his hands in his front pockets, smiling gently. “Alright. Thanks for the food, Lynn.”

“Lynn?”

He smirked. “You gave me a nickname. I think you need one too.”

“So, Lynn?”

“Do you not like it?”

I shrugged. The only nickname I ever had was Fay, but that is tainted by memories of Nick calling me only Fay for the past seventeen years. “Vin and Lynn,” I said out loud, then giggled. “They rhyme.”

“Makes it even better,” he chuckled, then started walking towards his house. “Thanks again for the lasagna, Lynn. I’m going to eat it all right now.”

“Save some for your mom!”

“Nope!” He shook his head. “Snooze you loose.”

I was laughing and smiling at myself, all the way inside, until I got to my room to get ready for the evening. Vin and Lynn. I like my new neighbor. I think I like him a lot.

I was just about to slip out of my jeans when I glanced over at the bed. Dozens of wrapped packages were on top of the bedspread.

“What the heck?” I muttered, buttoning my pants again before walking towards the pile.

“I told him to take those with him,” Preston appeared at my door as I was examining one of the wrapped boxes. “After he went around the entire house to check the windows like a freak, he put them there anyway. Want me to throw them in the trash. Tomorrow is trash day.”

That’s what all those other bags were for. I thought Jessie was just being lazy.

“No, that’s alright. Do you know what he did with the bags that they came in?”

“Trash,” Preston murmured. “I can return them back to the bags if you want.”

“And leave them in the trash?” I chuckled. “No, baby. It’s fine. I’ll give them back to your dad tomorrow.” I grabbed a large tote bag from under my bed and stuffed the wrapped presents into it. Preston helped, and soon my bed was clear.

“I think dad’s trying to get you back,” Preston said warily.

“No. He’s with Arlene, and your dad doesn’t change his mind when he’s made it up. You know that.”

“Then what’s with the cheesecake, gifts and that bullshit about the condo?”

I overlooked the curse word slip, because I could tell Preston was about to get heated.

“He’s just trying to remain friends. We still have to co-parent Preston. Would you rather your father was mean to me?”

“I would rather he just left you alone.”

I sighed, sitting on the edge of my bed. Preston plopped down beside me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. “Your dad isn’t a bad man. He made some choices for himself, but he is still your dad, and you only have one.”

Preston pursed his lips, and I could tell he was coming up with some smart-mouth rebuttal. It made me grin.

“You could start dating again. Get me a step-dad.”

“Please,” I rolled my eyes. “I have you and Jessie, and then there’s Kevin. That’s all I need.”

~

Nick

“Where have you been?” Arlene asked the moment I walked into the apartment. I didn’t even set my keys down, and she already had that look on her face, ready for an argument.

“Please don’t start with this again. I’m not in the mood. Where do you think I was?” I muttered, sitting on a chair by the front door to untie my shoes. I hate taking off my shoes anywhere but the bedroom, but Arlene has a thing about shoes on her floors and rugs. Arlene has a thing about a lot of things. Everything. Things that I don’t have issues with, and never thought of being a criminal offense before. Arlene will put me on trial and run me through the coals for committing any of them.

Arlene narrowed her eyes on me. “It’s not Friday.”

“Does it have to be Friday for me to want to see my children?”

She strummed her fingers against her crossed arm, tapping her slippered toe. “Your visits have been excessive lately.”

Not this fight again.

“It’s not excessive. You don’t have kids, so you don’t understand.”

Her face crumbled, and I instantly regretted those words. Her inability to have children broke her marriage. I didn’t want more kids, so that never bothered me, but it still hurt Arlene.

Before I could apologize, she snapped, “I’d like my space tonight,” then started walking towards the bedroom.

I sat there, wondering for a second if I should go after her, but what’s the point?

Grabbing my shoes, I headed for the guest room, reaching for the bottle of Johnnie Walker on the way. It’s the only way I can get to sleep anymore.

I stripped to my shorts, then sat on the bed, using the glass rinsing cup from the bathroom, the one Arlene leaves for Jessie every weekend, to pour my first shot. Jessie hasn’t used this bathroom, or even been in this apartment in over a month now. She likely won’t be here tomorrow, either. By next week, Jessie won’t ever have to spend a second in this apartment again, and neither will I. I still don’t know how to handle things with Arlene since we work together, but I know I can’t stand living with her another second. She doesn’t seem very fond of living with me anymore, either.

I downed my first glass of whiskey, then poured my second before I began flipping through the channels to find something to get my mind off the failure of tonight.

“All those dreams died the moment you told me you didn’t love me anymore.” I felt those words like a blade. I was so stupid. So disillusioned back then. I thought I was leaving my mundane, boring life for excitement and freedom. I thought I was elevating myself to reach for higher goals. I have never been so wrong.

When I met Fay when I was completely broke and halfway through law school, she was like the sun, lighting up campus everywhere she went. I thought she was the type of woman all men would envy me for being with. I hurried to marry her, infatuated with her vibrant personality and her adorable charms. She was lovely in every way, but she was always safe and controlled. She was happy with her simple life. After seeing the change in Arlene, and after we started our affair, I thought maybe I was too fast to marry and should have waited for someone that was more aligned to the station I wanted to reach for.

I was wrong. I was too quick to leave her. It wasn’t even two weeks before I regretted everything, but by then it was too late.

Arlene had already begun to show affection openly at work, so those that weren’t previously aware of the affair suddenly knew. I didn’t want to be that flake of a man who crumbled under judgment and pressure, which is what I deduced that my regretful mindset was coming from. I tried to sum the regret up to just mourning my old life, but I was just fooling myself.

Then the divorce started. Fay’s attorney submitted the separation documents while I spent two weeks staring at mine on my desk, debating if it was nerves or something else preventing me from filing. Fay wanted nothing from me. Not even child support or alimony. She was true to her word, only wanting the house.

She was calm and steadfast through the entire ordeal while I was a disaster. I tried to keep it together on the outside, but I would lash out at mediation hearings, and always had a reason to push court dates back again and again. I used my connections to get a rise out of Fay, wanting her to show a hateful or resentful side just once, but no matter how many times I motioned for continuance, or what allegations I threw Feighlynn’s way, she remained her sweet, positive self. She didn’t fight me about anything she deemed reasonable, like the custody agreement.

In the end, even the judge that completed our divorce was smitten with Fay’s sunshine personality, and I realized through it all what I was scared to admit before.

I was wrong. I was so wrong to leave her, and I was miserable. I was seeking excitement and freedom to rise to a higher position, but I’m living in a prison of my own regrets.

I can’t keep living like this. Every night, I cannot drink myself to oblivion to drown my guilt and regret. I can’t keep making excuses to stay at the home I once shared with my wife, just so I could sneak into the room we used to share and cry into her sweet-smelling pillow while she avoids me by staying with her sister.

I want my wife back. I want to hold her small but curvy body while going to sleep, burying my face in her soft hair. I want to listen to her adorable ramblings as she talks to herself throughout the day. I want to hear her laugh again. Lord, it’s been so damn long since I heard Fay laugh.

She was laughing with him . Her new neighbor. I never felt jealousy like that. Men have flirted with my wife in the past, but that was when I knew she would never sway from me. Seeing her walking her dog with that thug, his arms covered in tattoos, I wanted to step in and tell her to go home and demand he never speak to my wife again.

But she’s not my wife. Not anymore.

She said the dreams we used to share died, but I refuse to accept that. If I’m this regretful, she has to be feeling some regret, too. She has to. After fifteen years of marriage, she couldn’t have rid herself of all the affection for me. Not when I can’t forget any of the reasons. I fell for her so hard and so fast sixteen years ago. Such a short amount of time in confusion on my part can’t erase what we once built.

Maybe the redemption gifts I left on her bed to make up for last year’s disaster and more for this year will be enough to start a conversation at least. Maybe I should text her now and see if she has noticed them yet.

The image of her laughing with that neighbor man flashed in my head, stopping me from texting when I lifted my phone. Maybe I should call her instead, just to make sure she made it home okay.

I was unlocking my phone, scrolling through my contacts, when an incoming text pinged and my phone vibrated in my hand. I excitedly went to my messages, hopeful it would be praise for my thoughtfulness. Fay was always so grateful for any little gift I gave her. Whether it be drugstore flowers when we first dated, to that expensive mutt I bought her some years ago. She was the most cheerful and grateful person I knew.

My face fell when I opened the text. It wasn’t from Fay, but from Preston.

Pres:| I told you not to leave the gifts. I’ll bring them tomorrow when I bring Jess to your place. Mom doesn’t want them, and she doesn’t need you over here guilt-tripping her about not wanting them. You’re not staying over here this weekend, either.

She didn’t want them? Did she not open them? I spent hours combing through Dillards and Neiman Marcus with a sales associate, picking out the best of everything they offered. I even got the quirkier designs, knowing she preferred unique to regular designer stuff. Arlene only wants the top brand’s top products, while Fay adores the thought and meaning behind everything. Damn it, I was so idiotic. So moronic.

Me:| Did she even open them?

Pres:| No, and she’s not going to.

I shot back my glass of whiskey, the liquid burning through my chest. She didn’t even open them.

“All those dreams died the moment you told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

No. I refuse to believe that. She still has to hold some feelings for me. She has to. I don’t know if I can live with myself if I believe otherwise.

Me:| Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, son.

There has to be something I can do. Once I’m in my own place, the place we always wanted to share in our dreams, I can really start trying to win her back. There has to be a way.

~

Arlene

He didn’t come after me. I’m too stunned, or I might cry right now.

After leaving the bastard at the door, I went and sat at the end of my bed rim-rod straight, protruding my chest and letting the slit of my robe fall open to expose the full length of my leg. I was ready for a petty fight, ready to vent out some of my anger, then get the rest of it out with a fury fuck. The best kind of fuck. I had my arms crossed, tapping my foot, but he never came.

Just seconds later, I heard a door close. He went straight to the guest room. He didn’t even waver. He went straight there. Not before grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the bar cart. I guess sex is off the table for the night.

What is wrong with him? As of late, he isn’t present in this relationship. Not like he was before.

And that kid comment. It stung like hell, but I expected him to feel remorse finally and come after me to apologize at least.

Does he just not care anymore?

No way. There is absolutely no way. He left his wife for me. I never thought he would, but he easily abandoned the woman and moved right in with me.

But he has been acting off. Sex was what started all this. Raw, carnal, desire-driven sex. It’s been two weeks, at least since we last had any intimacy, and it hasn’t been carnal for a long time.

Is he getting bored with me already?

I paced back and forth in the bedroom, worrying myself to death.

He said he was with his kids, right? Would it be inappropriate to text Jessie and just confirm?

Going back and forth in my head, I finally decided to just send her a basic ‘how was your day’ message. Opening my phone, I smiled at the background image. A picture of Nick, Jessie and me at the amusement park. Nick wouldn’t ride anything, giving Jessie and me plenty of time to bond. I love this girl. She’s so sweet and kind hearted. Going through my messages with her confirms that. She texts me at the most thoughtful times. If I have a court hearing or an important meeting she knows about, she always checks in to see how things went. Nick hasn’t brought his kids over for a few weeks now, and I’m really missing Jessie.

Me:| Hey girlie! How was your day?

It took maybe ten seconds for a reply.

Jess:| Hey Arlene! My day was great. Just school and hanging out with dad after. How was yours? I’ve missed you!

My heart swelled and a smile spread across my face. She is so adorable and sweet.

Me:| I’m glad to hear that! I miss you too. I’m hoping to get some girl time this weekend.

I sent a heart and smile emoji, then a GIF of a cutesy ‘I miss you’ icon. She was the one that showed me the GIFs on my phone. I try to always include one now.

Jess:| For sure. Pres is dropping me off after school. I’ll see you then!

Me:| Okay, girlie. I’ve got to plan. We’re going to have a blast.

So Nick really was with his kids. That’s a relief, but not as much as knowing Jessie is coming over tomorrow.

I’m probably reading too much into Nick’s recent behavior. At least, I hope I am.