Tempted By a Rake (Wicked Widows’ League #21)

Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Her night had been filled with dreams. Some were unsettling, with memories of an earlier time in her life and others filled with Demetrius. He beckoned without saying a word. He was simply there.

Oh, she wished she could remember more but only fragments remained each time she woke.

By the time morning arrived and she pushed the covers away and got out of bed, Lavinia wasn’t certain what she wanted.

“Stop lying to yourself!” She crossed to the dressing table and brushed out her hair.

She also suffered from a frustration that she could not identify. One that coursed through her veins. She was on edge, questioning and wondering and all because of a melding of mouths that heated her blood, stole her breath, and increased her pulse.

What was it about him?

Well, he was a talented rake who knew how to seduce and likely when he was not even trying.

Breakfast was nothing more than tea and toast because her stomach was too constricted to allow anything else.

Then she paced and wondered if Demetrius might call.

Had her kiss been a disappointment to him?

He was a rake after all, and he had experienced kisses and much more, of that she was certain, from many women. How could he not help but compare her to others?

She hadn’t pleased her husband so how could her kiss have pleased a rake?

What if he now kept to himself at Hartshorn, and they did not visit again?

What if she did not see him until he visited Leopold to review a contract?

How would she even be able to remain in the same room?

Oh, the humiliation would be far too great as would the knowledge of his rejection.

As the day grew long and the walls of Sea View closed in on her, Lavinia stepped out and onto the terrace and hoped that the sea would calm her nerves.

If she were one to run away, she would return to London just to save herself from having to face him again, but running never solved problems so she would just need to find a way to enjoy what remained of her holiday in peace.

The breeze was gentle today and instead of remaining on the terrace, she took the stone steps to the shingle beach, but only so far as where the water reached with each wave that rolled in.

How often had she and her siblings played out here, running to the waves then back again so as not to get wet. In the summer months they had liked to take off their boots and stockings and then they’d be scolded because even though they promised to stay dry, they always ended up paddling in their clothes.

Life was simpler then. She had been a child and boys were just boys. She wasn’t even certain she had known what kisses were back then, and she certainly had no idea what else could happen between a man and a woman.

If she could only go back to that simpler time, and make different decisions…

Except, Lavinia knew that nothing would have changed. She had always known her duty to marry well. That had been instilled in her without being told exactly what it entailed.

Now she was alone.

After she became a widow, it was what she had wanted.

She also wanted to heed the advice of her friends—she wanted a lover.

Would Demetrius be willing or had she kissed so poorly that he had no interest in pursuing anything further?

How did one even go about seeking a lover, or asking?

And truthfully, did she even have the courage to do so?

“You are as afraid as I am, Max,” he said to the dog that wanted his ball back but was too afraid to take it from the cat.

Eventually, Max gave up and turned away but then stopped, his head lifted, ears perked and looked further down at the beach. Demetrius stood, ready to catch Max before he took off again. Except, Max was a lot faster and once again Demetrius was running after him, afraid for whoever might be greeted by Max this time.

He slowed before he reached Max, who was now sitting in front of Lavinia and she was pointing at him.

At least the dog hadn’t knocked her over again.

Did he dare approach and take his dog back or let them be and assume Max would eventually come home? Except, if he was Max, Demetrius would stay with Lavinia too.

“Once again, I apologize for my dog,” he offered on his approach.

“He caused no harm and I believe we are beginning to understand one another.”

Yes, but were he and Lavinia doing the same?

“I will take him so that you can enjoy your walk in peace.”

Demetrius approached with the intention of grasping his collar.

“He is no bother,” Lavinia said.

Had he so quickly been replaced by a dog? Or would she like him to remain as well? Did he ask?

No. He had presumed too much already.

“Then I shall leave you.”

Demetrius turned to walk away but he only took a few steps before he stopped. He needed to know how badly he had ruined things between them.

He turned back and approached. “I am sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” she asked slowly as if she wasn’t certain.

“I should not have kissed you. I forgot my place.”

“Your place?” she asked as if truly puzzled.

“Your standing in Society and I am a solicitor.”

She tilted her head and studied him. “You think such is important to me?”

“I simply assumed…I overstepped with not only the kiss but the embrace.”

“Are you apologizing because you are truly sorry that you kissed me, or because you assume that you should apologize?”

Demetrius was not certain what she was asking. “I am not sorry that I kissed you. Never that. But it was not right that I did.”

She gave a nod which offered not even a hint of what she might be thinking.

“Well, if that will be all…” He turned to walk away again, still confused but not certain what else he could say.

“Why did you kiss me?”

He stopped.

He could make any excuse and beg her forgiveness but if anything, he was honest. “Because I desired to do so. I desired you.”

“Desired, but no longer.”

He nearly snorted and turned to face her. “Lavinia, at the risk of being replaced by another solicitor for your brother, I have desired you from the moment we met.”

Her eyes widened as she gasped and took a step back, hand over her heart.

Now he had truly gone and scandalized her but he was not going to lie and it was important that she know.

Demetrius reached forward to grab Max’s collar, though it was likely the dog would not go with him.

“Do you still?” she asked quietly.

“That has not changed. In fact, it has only grown stronger.”

He glanced into her blue eyes and realized that there was confusion and uncertainty, which was something she rarely expressed.

“I thought …well…”

This hesitation was so unlike Lavinia that Demetrius was not certain if he was more concerned or curious. “What?” he asked.

“I have never been kissed in that manner and assumed…well…that I had not done it properly.”

If she weren’t so serious, he would laugh. That bloody kiss had kept him awake half the night. “There was nothing wrong with the way you kissed me,” he assured her. In another instant he realized what she had said. She’d been married yet had not shared a passionate kiss with her husband? How unpleasant had her marriage been?

“I also was not expecting you to kiss me.” The loveliest shade of pink spread across her cheeks as Lavinia glanced away.

“You appeared upset when I left you. You simply told me goodnight.”

“I was confused.”

“Because I kissed you?”

“No. Because I enjoyed it.”

He had not misunderstood. If Lavinia had not previously experienced passion in a kiss, then it was likely…Good God, no wonder there were unpleasant emotions associated with her title.

“As did I,” he assured her since Lavinia showed signs of insecurity, something he had never witnessed in her before.

She stared at him for a moment, studying his eyes and Demetrius was not certain what she was going to say next.

“If you must know, that was the first kiss I have ever enjoyed.”

Had Lavinia never known pleasure? Had her husband’s visits to her bed been nothing but duty?

He wanted to show her pleasure and passion. Take her to the heights of a blinding release, but he also knew that Lavinia would never allow such. She may be here because she wanted something for herself, but she was too proper to consider taking a lover.

No doubt her talk of him being a rake and her not minding that he was had come about because she had indulged in so much wine.

Though, he had hoped that as a widow she might be hinting that she wanted a lover, but Lavinia had given no indication that it was what she would want to pursue.

And, if she had never found pleasure in the marriage bed, why should she want one?

“Have you found a maid of all work?”

He blinked at her change of topic. “No. I have not.”

“Then there is no one to cook for you.”

“I had thought to go into town and have dinner at the tavern.”

She bit her upper lip and nodded.

Did he dare ask? Did he overstep?

He also did not care if he did. “Unless you wish to take pity on me again.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. “Well, it is to my benefit that you remain healthy, therefore you shall dine with me until you have hired someone.”

He may just stop looking for a servant if it gave him the excuse to be with Lavinia each night. “I look forward to this evening.” He nodded, then turned away, taking Max with him. He also allowed himself to smile.

If she was asking him to dinner, and she had enjoyed their kiss, and given she was a widow…Maybe there was hope, after all.