Tempted By a Rake (Wicked Widows’ League #21)

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

When Demetrius had admitted to desiring her, especially for so long, Lavinia had not known how to respond, nor did she know what to make of the little flip in her stomach, or heated pulse and the ache in her nether regions. That had begun last night and had not truly gone away. Not that it was painful but nagging and unsettled, and she had no idea how to make it go away.

The sensations were so foreign that she was not certain what to make of them, but needed to know, which was why she had asked him to dine with her again. Perhaps the more that she was in Demetrius’ presence the more she would come to understand why her body reacted to him in such an odd and foreign manner.

She needed to know if that was desire, though she suspected that it was, which made her more determined to experience intimacy with him.

Oh, if only she knew how to go about seducing a man, but she had no idea, and she certainly could not come out and ask.

What if he declined her request?

Lavinia pulled dress after dress from her wardrobe. Maybe she had something that he would think was alluring and then attempt to seduce her.

He was a rake, and thankfully they weren’t so very particular.

Except, every dress she owned was proper.

With a sigh, she chose a dark blue gown because it was the most flattering color on her and would hope for the best.

She also would not have above two glasses of wine this evening. She had confessed much that first night, not that she regretted anything that she had said, but she did not want to find herself in a similar state and voice secrets that she did not want anyone to know.

Thankfully, Demetrius still desired her and her kiss had not been too horrible. He had not claimed it to be wonderful, but said there had been nothing wrong. Since it had been the first time that she had kissed in that manner, Lavinia decided to deem it successful.

“Mr. Valentine has arrived, Lady Teviot,” her housekeeper announced.

Her hands grew damp and her pulse quickened with nervousness. “Please direct him here.” Here was the terrace. The evening was so pleasant that she had not wanted to remain inside, though a definite chill had begun to fill the air.

“Lavinia,” Demetrius acknowledged when he stepped outside. “Are you not cold?”

“Perhaps a little, but it is not uncomfortable.” She turned toward him. “It does not feel like Christmas even though it is only four days away.” She hoped that a general conversation would put her at ease.

“What does Christmas feel like for you?”

“If I was at Clarington Abbey, it would likely be cold and there is the possibility that we would already have snow. It if was deep enough, we would be required to take the sleds into the forest to cut evergreen, holly, ivy and rosemary to decorate.” She let out a sigh. “Without family, and being here, it simply will not feel like Christmas.”

“Do you regret your decision to leave them for the holiday?” Demetrius asked quietly.

Lavinia turned toward him. “I do not regret any decision I have made since I arrived, save one, nor am I sorry that I decided to leave my family and travel here.”

“Which decision do you regret?” he asked with curiosity.

“Perhaps it would better be described as a lesson learned.” She couldn’t help but smile.

“What lesson would that be?”

“To never drink above two glasses of wine in one evening or the following morning will prove to be most difficult.”

Demetrius laughed then held out his arm to escort her back inside just as the housekeeper entered the parlor to announce that dinner was served.

It was good to laugh and Lavinia felt her nervousness slip away, though she was happy that he had not asked what decisions she had made or she might have confessed that she intended to take him as a lover.

Over supper they talked of many matters, but none of them deeply personal as they had earlier. She hoped that it wasn’t because he no longer wished to pursue desire but because her servants were in and out of the dining room too often.

Once dessert was complete, they retired to the parlor after Lavinia requested a pot of tea, but she did offer Demetrius a brandy, which he declined. After the tea service was placed on the table, she dismissed the servants for the night. As she was unsure how their conversation would go, she did not want to be overheard.

Demetrius had settled across from her instead of beside her on the settee which resulted in some disappointment. She had hoped that he would want to kiss her again, and then perhaps seduce her, but he could not do so from so far away.

“May I ask you a personal question?”

“That would depend on how personal,” she answered cautiously.

“Tell me about your marriage.”

She had not expected Demetrius to want to know of her past.

“Why?”

“Well, he clearly did not kiss you properly, what else did he fail at?”

Her face heated and she quickly took a sip of tea to cover her embarrassment.

“Your marriage was not a love match, was it?”

“No. It was duty.”

“Is that how you also viewed the marriage bed?”

Goodness, this was very personal, but because it was Demetrius asking and he had claimed to desire her, Lavinia decided to answer honestly.

“My husband did not like kissing, and only did so once, and that was when the vicar pronounced us man and wife.” She was not quite ready to answer the marriage bed question because if he knew the truth, he would not want her either.

There were more questions that he wished to ask, none of his concern, but he needed to know. If her husband had only kissed her once and had done a very poor job of doing so, then Demetrius had no doubt that the former Marquess of Teviot failed in the most important and intimate part of his marriage.

But, as Lavinia’s face was red enough already, Demetrius did not press.

It also made him long to seduce her, but one simply did not seduce someone like Lavinia. She was not a normal widow who was lonely and missed the intimacy once shared with her husband.

She needed to be wooed. He did not just want a bedding, he wanted her and that could only be accomplished after he came to know her better, and she knew more about him.

Except, he had secrets that he was not certain he could share. Secrets that made him unworthy to even touch her hand.

Disappointment settled in the pit of his stomach. No matter how much he wanted Lavinia, he could not and should not seduce her.

“He married me for my dowry and marriage settlement because he was deeply in debt and his Scottish estate was crumbing to the ground. He made me believe that he cared, when he did not.”

How many marriages had taken place under the same circumstances?

Lavinia set her cup and saucer aside and rose to walk to the sideboard where she poured two glasses of brandy. They’d had little wine during dinner. He had not even finished his glass because he wanted to remain in control of his sensibilities. Lavinia had drunk even less than him so Demetrius assumed one small glass of brandy would not do either of them any harm, especially since this was clearly a difficult subject for her.

It was personal and he should not press for private details but he wanted to know.

“His family resented me because he had been forced to marry a Sassenach to fill their coffers, so there was no friendship and with each year that passed without an heir, the resentment grew.”

“I am sorry for that, Lavinia.”

“I was too embarrassed to cast blame on my husband, but he was the one who avoided me.” She took a sip of her brandy.

How could any man not spend every night in her bed? Yes, she seemed reserved, polite and unapproachable at times, but now that he was coming to know her, she was all that he had assumed. Lavinia had likely closed herself off to protect her heart. What woman wouldn’t after learning that her husband did not want her after they had wed?

“Was it a mistress?” he asked.

“Not that I am aware and I’m fully certain if there had been one, it would not have been hidden from me.”

All he could do was stare at her because this was the most confounding thing he had ever heard.

“Do not try to find a reason or make excuses, Demetrius. I have accepted that was the way of things and am glad to be free of the relationship, though saddened that he did have to die for it to be so.”