Tempted By a Rake (Wicked Widows’ League #21)

Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

She checked the armoire and dresser one last time and even looked beneath the bed to make certain that nothing was left behind.

Lavinia did not know when she would return or if she would. If she did, it would not be for a very long time, and after her heart had healed.

Two nights in a row she had cried herself to sleep and she was on the verge of exhaustion. Her eyes were tired, but she could sleep in the carriage and maybe the further she got away from Seaford, the more the pain in her heart would ease.

She had wanted him to ask her to remain, and Demetrius had in a way, but she wanted more than just a few days and why she made the decision to leave now. The longer she remained the more difficult it would be and she feared that she’d confess her love and then he’d need to try and find the words to reject her while trying not to hurt her.

After assuring herself that nothing remained, she made her way down the stairs.

“The carriage has come around,” Mrs. Trenton said.

“I am sorry to take your sons away sooner than intended.”

“We are happy to have had them for as long as we did, and I thank you for that.”

“I will speak to my brother about allowing them more free time so that they may visit you.”

“You are too kind, Lady Teviot, but if you would visit more often, then they could drive you.”

“I will suggest to my siblings that they holiday here. I am certainly glad that I did.”

“Then why are you so sad?” she asked quietly.

“I am tired, I suppose. Maybe it is because I miss my family.”

“Maybe it is because Mr. Valentine remains.”

Unbidden the tears welled in her eyes.

“No matter how much we may wish, some things are not meant to be,” she confessed. “And why I must go.”

The housekeeper merely nodded, as Lavinia stepped from the cottage and walked to the waiting carriage, where she stopped and look back at his cottage one last time. Perhaps a part of her was still foolishly hopeful, but Demetrius was not there. The door was closed and there wasn’t even a sheepdog to tell her goodbye.

Taking a deep breath, she started to step into the carriage.

“Lavinia, wait.”

She turned to find Demetrius exit his cottage. Max rushed past him and stopped and sat before her.

With a shaky hand she reached out to pet him.

Her heart beat increased and her hands shook because she wasn’t certain if it was in anticipation of what he might say or fear of disappointment.

“There is something I must tell you before you go.”

“Yes?”

Demetrius took a deep breath, stared into her eyes, but said nothing.

“What is wrong?”

“Nothing…everything…”

“I do not understand.”

“I am not worthy of you,” he blurted out.

Lavinia frowned. What the devil was he talking about?

“I am a solicitor and you know my family history, but that has not stopped me from falling in love with you.”

The breath lodged in her throat.

“I was in love with you before we ever came to Seaford but kept my feelings to myself because you were above my reach. You still are and I have no right to profess my heart, but I needed you to know.”

All she could do was gape at him.

“Forgive me if I have overstepped. You are a lady, sister of a duke, and I have no right.” He took a step back. “I understand if you never want to speak of this again, but it was important to me that you know.”

Those were the words that she had wanted to hear. Had longed to hear, yet she was at a loss for what to say at what might be the most important moment in her life.

“Have a safe trip, Lavinia.”

He turned and walked away.

Where was he going?

He just said that he loved her and was walking away.

“Wait!”

He turned, a question in his warm brown eyes.

“Yes?”

Lavinia tried to speak but she could not for fear this was a dream, the one that she had wished for but that it wasn’t truly real.

“Lavinia?”

Words were not necessary. Instead, she ran to him and practically flung herself into his arms and kissed him. It was a long, deep, passionate kiss that she hoped he understood.

“If you keep this up, I will take you back to my cottage which will result in a delay in your travels.”

“I am not leaving.”

“You are expected back in London.”

“I am not leaving without you.”

He stared down into her eyes. “What we have shared cannot continue in London. Servants will speak and it could result in your reputation being damaged and reflect poorly on your sisters.”

“I do not care.”

“I cannot be only your lover, Lavinia. I love you too much.”

“And I love you.” Somehow, she managed to say the words.

“We are from different stations.”

“I do not care.”

“Your brother…”

She placed a finger against his lips. “I came here to find what I needed, what was missing, to determine what I wanted for myself. I thought it would simply be a holiday away from duty, but I found so much more. I found love and most definitely discovered happiness, Demetrius. That is you.”

Tears filled her eyes but she did not fight them. The love and warmth that came from expressing what was truly in her heart was nearly unbearable, a cleansing pain perhaps, and even if he still rejected her for a silly reason because of their stations in Society, she would know that he loved her as well and that was all that mattered.

“His Grace may not accept me.”

“Leopold can go hang.” She grinned. “I have spent my life doing what others expected. No longer. I want you. I love you, and if he does not approve, then…”

“What could he do?”

She frowned. “I am not certain, but nobody is going to dictate my life any longer.” Then she grinned. “Let us run away, hide from the world and continue to be lovers.”

He stiffened and stood back. “No.”

Her heart nearly stopped.

Despite what they shared, his confession and hers, he was going to reject her.

“I want you as my wife, or nothing at all,” he said.

“Wife?” She had not considered that he would want…

“Yes. Wife, which is why we must part.”

“Why?” she asked again but for another reason.

“For one, you said that you would never marry again.”

“This is different. You are different,” she insisted. “I should have said that I refused to have another loveless marriage.”

“Your brother, the duke, will never allow you to marry a solicitor, even if he does not know of my family’s humble beginnings.”

“I do not care.”

“Society will,” he reminded her.

“Then let them be scandalized,” she insisted.

“I cannot support you in the manner in which you are accustomed.”

“What manner?”

“Gowns, jewels, and everything required for a Season.”

Lavinia tried her best not to be insulted that she would require such and had to remind herself that he had a right to make such an assumption based on those in Society.

“I do not care. I have all that I need. More than I need.”

“My home is a set of rooms in Covent Garden. I could afford to purchase a home, but it would leave little for us to live on and we would only be able to afford a maid.”

“You are not going to live in London. You have a house right here.” She gestured to the cottage. “This town needs a solicitor and you are not happy being a barrister. Unless you do not want to leave London.”

“I did not think you would want to live here, so far from your family.”

“It is here where I found happiness, discovered what I wanted…who I wanted and needed. It is not London, but you.”

He took her hands in his. “What of servants? I never was able to hire one.”

“Why are you making so many excuses? If you love me and I love you, yet you will not be my lover without marriage, why are you finding reasons not to marry?”

“Because I need for you to be certain and what you lose by becoming my wife.”

“I only gain you,” she insisted.

“I could not even manage to hire a maid of all work,” he reminded her.

“Perhaps you should not have let Max decide.” She laughed. “Besides, we have servants living right next door,” she reminded him. “Mr. and Mrs. Trenton have taken care of Sea View my entire life even though hardly anyone visits. Their daughters are still our maids. I am certain they would agree to take care of Hartshorn as well or recommend someone who would.”

“My sister enjoyed having someone to cook for again, besides us,” she heard Mrs. Trenton say behind her.

“Aye, it was nice to have people about and be a butler again,” Mr. Trenton said.

Lavinia glanced over her shoulder to find the two on the front stoop, in discussion with each other, but making certain their voices could be heard.

“I worry that I cannot financially support you,” he whispered.

“I have no such concerns. We will have a home and that is really all anyone needs.”

Demetrius reached up and cradled her cheek. “I do love you, Lavinia. With my whole heart I love you.”

“Then marry me you fool.”

“Only after I speak to His Grace.”

Lavinia rolled her eyes, likely for the first time in her life, because Demetrius was being far too cautious. “Then I suggest you go pack your belongings, gather Max and Cam so that we can be on our way.”

“Might I suggest you leave the cat and dog here, Mr. Valentine. We will be happy to see to their care until you return.”

This time Mr. Trenton spoke directly to them.

“They can be difficult. Max slobbers, needs to be brushed and Cal likes to catch and leave mice about, and starfish, and whatever else he can find.”

“He?” Mrs. Trenton asked. “Cal is not a he.”

Demetrius frowned. “I only assumed…though I did not check,” he mumbled quietly.

“Not only is Cal a she, but is also expecting a litter,” Mrs. Trenton laughed. “It would not be a good time for her to travel.”

“How would you know?”

Mr. and Mrs. Trenton laughed. “Because our daughters always had cats and birthed more kittens than any cat has a right to. It only came to an end when we forbade females, only males.”

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” Lavinia laughed. “You are going be a grandfather to kittens.”

“Yes, well the last thing we need is for Cal to be giving birth while we return to London.” He turned to the housekeeper and butler. “Thank you. I appreciate your offer.”

“Now go,” Lavinia insisted. “Pack your trunk, or whatever you need for a short trip. I am quite anxious to be on my way, have that audience with my brother that you insist upon, and return here so that we can begin our life.”

“But he will not return to London for days. He will not even leave Kent for at least another sennight.”

“Then I suppose we should go there instead of London for I do not intend to wait.”