That Emerald Vow (The Crimson Creed #2)

14. Chapter Fourteen

H aving Damon expand on his childhood trauma was a reminder of why you can’t judge a person without knowing all the facts. Will I continue to do so? Definitely, because I trust a very limited number of people, and my original perception of him was correct.

We’re kindred spirits trying to survive and make the world a little bit better.

“So that’s how you and Ade officially became part of X?” I ask, not ready to start on my confessions—unsure how much I want to divulge right now.

Damon furrows his eyebrows at me, wanting to dig deeper into my small emotional crack, but he nods his head. “Yeah, she saw a lot of potential in us, especially Ade. And we were able to create stipulations. It makes us sick, all they do. But we’ve been slowly building up the Crimson Creed to be able to take them down. Ade and I make plenty of money for ourselves from the shops. All the money from X goes into helping fund the Creed missions and paying for the individuals we save to start over. More and more people have wanted to help us with that over the years. But she still has her loyal dogs, so it’s been a slow, calculated game.”

Breaking them down from the inside. That’s smart. “Wow. I never thought I would say this, but it seems like at least you two are doing good within X. Killing people who don’t deserve another second on earth and saving the innocent.”

“Maybe with all of us teaming up, we can end it once and for all,” he says.

This thought causes a maniacal smile to split across my face. “That may be a fun idea.”

He grins back and nods. Biting his lower lip, he hesitates before asking, “So what made you and Lily get into this line of . . . business? I guess I can imagine Lily’s reason, and that’s her business to tell or not. And I guess you too, you know, if you don’t want to share.” His eyes look at me warmly, curiosity bouncing behind them. But there’s something more. A consideration for my feelings. He isn’t pressuring me. I can tell he wants to know more—wants to know me better—but he also seems to understand this is difficult and is letting me choose.

That respect is what prompts me to finally open up. It’s what makes me think maybe he won’t hurt me like the first two people who shattered my trust. “It was people like Mr. Kingsley, Frank, the people X works with, people like your mother . . . my mother,” I whisper the last part.

No matter what I went through, what I hear from other’s experiences, I can never wrap my brain around a parent not unconditionally loving their child. A parent not protecting their child from the basic depravities of the world.

Damon’s hand is still over mine from earlier, and he’s rubbing his thumb in a gentle motion—grounding me. “When I was about ten . . . my uncle on my mom’s side started taking a special interest in me. We were always friendly; you know how uncles can be.” I look at him as he purses his lips. Stupid Charlie. No, he doesn’t. “He traveled a lot for work, so we only saw him on special occasions, but it was a normal amount of niceness when he visited.” I take a shaky deep breath before continuing. “Long story short . . . he started to—he started to . . .” My voice cracks. “ He started to touch me when no one was around, which eventually turned into more.” Damon squeezes my hand, and I let the warmth of him comfort me while I say the next part . . . in some ways the worst part. “When I told my mother, she said I made the whole thing up and that I was just looking for attention.”

I look up at Damon, wanting to read his expression. He looks stone cold—a dark rage washing over him. I have never mistaken his power—he looks like a resident bad boy in the best way—but I’m used to his light and goofy vibe. And right now, it’s abundantly clear he’s capable of murder, and I know who just joined his list.

“She. Did. What?”

I let out a small, fractured laugh. “She’s always taken her rage out on me for her miserable life. Especially when my dad started sleeping around after his success. I guess I remind her of what she could have been. I think she liked seeing me just as broken. Anyway . . . I never told my father. We had a decent relationship but were never close.

“I never trusted easily after that, even those who were meant to protect me didn’t. But then . . .” I play with my fingers as I think through saying the next part. “In high school, I had this boyfriend . . .” I take a deep breath before continuing to tell him all about Elias. “I felt like this hollow shell. It’s not what I expected non-consensual sex to feel like because I had experienced that with my uncle. There was pleading and screaming and sobbing,” I sputter out, one word tumbling behind the other. “But this felt different—almost worse. It was a quiet stealing of a piece of me.” I feel the steady stream of tears falling down my cheeks now. Damon moves closer and pulls me in, rubbing my back. I allow myself to find comfort in his arms.

“I pretended for so long that it was normal—that it was too much in the gray area to count. What my uncle did counted, but this couldn’t have. I couldn’t admit it until I met Lily. I couldn’t admit that it happened again and somehow felt so much worse. I wasn’t super close to my uncle; he was a sick, disgusting man. That was black and white, and I hated him. But my ex was someone who never made me feel unsafe—not like that. He was the first person I trusted, and my mind couldn’t handle it.” Once I’m done, my tears turn uncontrollable. Damon just sits there with me, not saying a word, allowing me this moment in his safe embrace.

When I can speak again, I say, “But there is no gray area to non-consensual sex. Just took me a while to face that.”

“I am so proud of you, Charlie Thatcher. You are one incredible human. And you’re right, it’s never their fault. And it was never your fault. Only their ”

I’ve grown to learn that, but hearing someone other than my best friend say it makes it feel more true. Damon doesn’t owe me anything, and if the way he’s looking into my eyes is any indication, he means it. It makes my cheeks warm, forcing me to turn, looking away. “Um, thanks.”

I look back up at him through my lashes and see him grinning at me, having noticed my blush. His right dimple is ever present, making me crack my own smile. God, this man is adorable.

Straightening up, he says, “I guess we were dealt a shitty hand when it came to parents.” I nod in response. “But that doesn’t explain all the—” He motions with his hands across his neck, mimicking a slit throat.

I smile, remembering. “Well that happened in undergrad . . . by accident.”

His right eyebrow shoots up, curiously. “Tell me, how does one accidentally become . . .” He pauses, pondering his next words. “Vigilantes, or whatever it is you ladies do.”

I smirk. “Well Lily and I got close pretty quickly. We were very active on campus helping sex crime victims. One night, we saw a man trying to rape a woman in an alley. Helping her run away to safety felt nice, but what was better was after. We started to beat him—all our rage unleashed. We didn’t stop until he was a dead, bloody mess. And then that just became what we did. We have our tabbed files that track possible targets, and one by one, we help clean the streets.”

He’s smiling at me. “Charlotte Thatcher, aren’t you a little badass? I’ve known from the first moment I met you. But this? Protecting those who can’t protect themselves is a new level of hot you’ve unlocked,” he says, winking. “But no, seriously, that’s amazing.”

“Ha. I guess you’re—”

He cuts me off, saying, “Super hot too?”

YES!

“You wish. I just meant kinda badass. Emphasis on the kinda part, less of the badass part.” This feels more normal, the simple banter between us.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We both know you think I’m super hot. I saw that blush earlier, little gem.”

I lean forward, almost a breath away from him, making his body still in anticipation. “And we both know you find me irresistible. But don’t worry. It’ll be our secret.” I grab my gun and stand up. “This was enough emotion for me for one night. And looks like y’all have work to do to get them to safety. I’ll see you later, Day.” Without another word, I walk out, making sure to sway my hips with some extra pep, knowing he’s watching me leave.