Thawed Out (Merry Everything #4)

Chapter 4

4

F lynn still wasn’t sure he wasn’t dead.

The only reason that wouldn’t be okay right now was because he wanted to see his babies again.

He wanted to listen to Jasper talk, to help Cass remember her dance routine, to lean together and snuggle.

They were beautiful and smart and theirs.

And it was fixin’ to be Christmas.

Those divorce papers were still not on the table, though.

He stood there, staring into the fire, Kiren napping on the sofa after their supper.

Kiren had asked him to stop yelling, which he figured he could do now that he didn’t feel like he had to shout the get Kiren to hear him. But Kiren had also asked him what he needed, and aside from the very obvious, he hadn’t answered that one yet.

He needed to feel…important. Like all this bullshit he was doing was important to someone, because he wasn’t doing it for fun.

Kiren had tossed those awful papers in the fire, so maybe he was that important at least. And he was pretty sure it was more than Kiren just wanting to get laid.

Was it awful that he couldn’t remember the last time they’d been intimate?

Hell, the last time they’d fucked? Jacked off. Snuggled hard?

Something?

“I miss you,” he whispered. “I miss us, I miss the kids, being a family, but more than anything, I miss being yours.”

“I’m awake,” Kiren whispered back, eyes opening. “Come here.”

He was so tired of crying.

Flynn went. There was no other choice and nothing else he’d rather do.

Kiren made room for him to stretch out like they’d done a million times to watch the fire burn and—do other things. It was a bit of squeeze, but he pressed in close, and Kiren’s arm wrapped over his chest to hold him. “I miss it all too. So, whatever we didn’t take the time to fix the last time, we’re going to make the time to fix this time.”

“Do you know how?” Because he didn’t. Or if he did, he was too tired to reckon it. “I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t know how, yet. But I really can’t imagine a future without you either, so we’re going find a way. We just have to do it like we’ve done everything else good in our lives. Together.”

He snuggled in. Yeah, he was totally dead, but it was okay with him. “I didn’t burn the toast.” Much.

Kiren chuckled in his ear. “It was definitely on the lighter side of burned. I’m so proud.”

“Thank you. I’m trying.” And that was no lie. As soon as he recovered from finals, he’d have ideas.

“Don’t try right now, just be here with me. Enjoy the fire. I want to see if we can remember who we were.”

“I have marshmallows for later.” He knew Kiren loved roasted marshmallows.

“It’s like you knew I was coming. Hey! We won’t have to pick marshmallow out of Cass’s hair.”

“Oh, that’s a blessing. I tell you, that’s sort of hell on earth, listening to her scream.” Their girl was tender headed, and those dark curls tangled so easy.

“It’s a nightmare. But I can’t say no to Jas when he asks, you know? And if I tell him we didn’t bring any he knows I’m lying.” He could feel Kiren shaking his head.

“Well, she’ll be old enough to handle in by the time we come back up in the spring.”

Kiren’s words rang inside him.

“We.”

“Yeah, I hope so—oh. Oh cool, I get to have spring break too.” Kiren snorted.

“You do. My schedule is a little weird next semester.” He would be doing a lot of practicals.

“Do your breaks line up? Do you know yet? I hope they do.” Kiren’s always did, they were in the same school system.

“I’m done with classes. I just have to pass the practicals. So I’ll be in hospitals and offices and clinics a lot.”

“Weird hours?” Kiren smoothed his T-shirt out across his belly.

“No. I’ll be shadowing clinics and doing a few urgent care clinics. So I’ll be more settled, depending on how many hospital shifts I need for money.” He was looking forward to it, actually.

“Oh, that will be nice. We might get to have dinner together sometimes.”

“Yeah. That’s what this whole thing is for. Regular clinic hours. Home for suppers. Home for ball games and dance. Weekends.” More stability.

“I love it. I mean I knew that was in the works, but I guess I didn’t realize it was so soon.” Kiren sighed. “I should have asked more questions, huh?”

“I should have stopped being so goddamn angry.” He’d felt used. Like Kiren didn’t like him anymore.

“I still don’t know why you were angry; you never actually told me. You just did a lot of shouting. A lot.” Kiren’s breath rustled his hair.

He didn’t know what to say, exactly. “I felt like the only thing I was good for was what money I could bring in.”

He felt Kiren’s body stiffen up, but it was gone in a second. “That’s my fault.” Kiren shifted, letting him roll onto his back, and moved over him. “That is my fault. I stressed about money, but that never changed how I feel about you.” Kiren stared into his eyes, and even though he hadn’t seen it in a long time, he recognized the look. It was unmistakable. “I just need to kiss you to prove it.”

“I think I remember how.” If not, Kiren would show him. He had no doubt.

“You don’t forget this kind of thing.” Kiren smiled and kissed him gently, slowly. It wasn’t tentative, but it was sweet, not rushed, not too heated.

Flynn hadn’t forgotten. He felt as if he was a little tipsy, like the ground underneath him had dissolved. It was a long kiss, long enough that they just stared into each other’s eyes for a bit after it ended.

“I love you. I never stopped loving you, even when I didn’t like you all that much.” Kiren winked at him. “We need to be a team again.”

“I love you.” It was hard to get out, so he said it again. “I love you. So much.”

Kiren’s eyes were full of tears, and he spoke fast, like he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get it all out. “I know. We’ll figure this out. I won’t do this to you again. I promise.”

“I’ll do… I’ll do better. I’m going to get my shit together.” He could, right? He could do that. He was almost done with his degree, and he was done with classes.

“I’ll help. It’s a lot, trying to work and go to school. I can see what it’s done to you. You’re so thin. You look so tired. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m okay. I’m just—” He was tired. He was exhausted. “I keep crying. That’s not me, babe.”

“No. It’s not at all. You need a lot of sleep is what you need. And to hug the kids. And a big steak.” Kiren kissed his forehead.

It wasn’t that, and he needed Kiren to know it. “I need you. You’re my…you’re my person, dammit. You’re my world.”

Kiren swallowed hard. “I’m yours, and you’re mine. That’s what we said, right? That’s what we promised? I’ll do better. I need you too.”

“That’s what we promised. That we’d stick this shit out—for better or worse.” He wanted another of those kisses, and he brought their mouths together again.

“We forgot about the or worse part.” Kiren returned his kiss, hungry lips hot as fire. “I need you.”

“Here? Now? Or in the bed?” He was easy. This was before the fire, and it was immediate. They’d have to get the fire banked and all if they went to bed, but they’d have room to set up.

“Start here, finish there?” Kiren started unbuttoning the flannel PJ top that he’d been wearing all day. “I know, the fire. Maybe we can make out until it dies a little. We have all night.”

“We do. It’s cozy out here anyway.” He reached up and stroked Kiren’s throat. “So pretty.”

“You’re the only person who has ever told me that. I think it’s the freckles.”

“It’s the whole package. You’re perfect for me.” He nibbled a line along Kiren’s throat.

He knew how much Kiren liked that. Kiren stretched his neck, giving Flynn more room to nibble. “I’m relieved that you can still say that after everything we’ve been through.”

Hell yes. They’d put each other through a lot.

“Love isn’t our issue.”

“Obviously not. Sex probably isn’t either but I’m looking forward to making sure you know how much I appreciate you.” Kiren’s fingers worked their way under his shirt.

“I haven’t… I haven’t felt like even jacking off, hardly,” he admitted.

“You didn’t have any problem responding when I asked you what you needed from me.” Kiren ghosted a thumb over his nipple.

“Shut up, you.” He didn’t ever have any problem responding to Kiren.

“Mm. Okay.” He thought Kiren’s tone was suggestive, and he was right. Kiren drew a wet tongue along the length of his ear and blew across it, making him shiver.

His toes curled and he couldn’t fight his gasp. Oh, he felt that all the way to his balls.

“Good?” Kiren whispered in his ear, then nipped at his earlobe. “Remember our first night here?”

“How could I forget?” They’d made love for hours—tearing each other up. He’d been sore for days.

“We have that kind of time for the first time since the kids were born.”

“We do. I want it. You. Us. Now. Now is good for me. And also later.” He was an idiot, but he was trying.

Kiren chuckled softly. The puffs of air on his neck were followed by kisses across his throat. “You’re such a dork, and I love you.”

“Good. I’m…” He swallowed, Kiren hitting every hot spot he had, one by one.

“Hot? Yes, you are.” Kiren’s hand was roaming over his chest and shoulders, exploring underneath his shirt.

He stroked his fingers through Kiren’s hair, holding him close, petting him. He was burning up.

Kiren undressed him slowly and kept him buzzing, touching and kissing anywhere and everywhere but his aching cock until the fire turned to embers and they were both breathless.

“I—Fuck, I love you.” His voice was totally blown. Completely raw.

“Bed, baby?” Kiren got to his feet and looked down at him, a dark silhouette against what little was left of the firelight.

“Yeah. We can keep each other warm.” He’d missed snuggling with Kiran for so long.

“Come on. I’ll remind you how much I want you.” Kiren offered him a hand up and led him to the bedroom.

“I like your plan.” They bundled up under the blankets, the residual heat keeping the room bearable.

“Mm. This is better.” Kiren stretched him out, lips working their way across his chest.

He reached down, searching out his lover in the dark, relearning the beloved body by touch. Kiren nuzzled his belly, moving lower, one hand sliding down his thigh.

He stared up into the darkness of the blanket, and he spread, letting Kiren in to touch him.

“You’re going to feel so good. I’m going to send you into outer space.” He felt the breath on his balls first, then Kiren’s hot tongue, teasing and tasting him.

“Don’t want to be in outer space. Want to be right here with you. Right fucking here.”

Kiren’s fingers curled around his shaft, and he hummed and lapped at Flynn’s balls.

Flynn reckoned he would just die—just expire of sheer joy right here.

“I got you. Wherever you go, I’ll be right there.” That wet tongue slid higher, drawing a line up his length before slowly bathing the head of his cock.

“Wherever… Turn around. I want you too. Please.” He wanted to taste his lover as well.

“Fuck, yeah.” Kiren tugged at the blankets to make some headroom and turned around, straddling him. The heavy cock hit him in the chin, and Kiren groaned.

“That’s it.” He whimpered, opening up to slap the sweet prick with his tongue. It was easier to be confident like this, in the dark.

Kiren didn’t hesitate another second and took his cock in deep, swallowing around the head.

His entire soul hiccupped, and he grabbed Kiren’s hips, dragging that sweet cock into his throat.

Kiren let him go long enough to gasp and curse, and then went right back to his cock, stroking as that tongue drove through his slit. It was maddening, absolutely driving him out of his mind, and all Flynn could do was give as good as he got.

But Kiren didn’t make it easy. After another breath, Kiren worked hard, taking him in deep and making it tough to concentrate.

Kiren was wild enough that Flynn was dizzy, but who cared? He was lying down and holding on tight.

Kiren’s cock was hard as diamonds and leaking, the bitter and salty taste covering his tongue. He closed his eyes and sucked, tongue slapping the heavy veins along the shaft, driving him mad.

“I want to fuck your mouth,” Kiren whispered roughly.

His answer was to grab Kiren’s ass and pull hard, making his offer clear.

“Fuck!” Kiren’s cry was muffled by the comforter but seemed loud all the same. Those hips started to move, rocking and shoving that cock into his mouth.

He opened, letting Kiren in deep, swallowing hard every time the tip of his cock slipped into his throat.

Kiren shivered and moaned, letting his cock go to suck in a breath. “Flynn. Close, baby.”

Come for me. Come on. I need you. I need to feel you. Taste you.

The grunt was familiar and the long moan too. Kiren came in strong waves, giving him everything he wanted.

Almost everything.

Kiren didn’t wait to catch his breath before diving back to work, sucking and stroking him, turning his sweet ache into something more.

“Love. Love. Fuck, I need you…” He was babbling. He knew it.

Kiren answered by rolling his balls in hot fingers and humming around the head of his cock.

He didn’t have another second to hold on, and he didn’t even try. He shot hard enough his bones rattled, and his eyes rolled up into his head.

When he came back down a bit, Kiren turned back around, settling in beside him. Kiren tugged the covers down a little and they both breathed in the fresh air, which didn’t seem that chilly yet, but would soon enough.

“Love you.” He did, and he wanted to chat, but he was so fucking sleepy, and Kiren was right there, holding him.

“Mhm. Love you. I’ve got you.” Kiren pressed a kiss to his temple. “Sleep, baby. All you want. It’s just you, me, and the snow.”

“You. Me.” He liked that. He liked that in his bones.