The Christmas Crush

Chapter 42

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Elena felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Even better than a kid, in fact. Her childhood Christmases had often been spent in some sunny location, sitting at formal hotel brunches before Dad golfed and Mom disappeared to the spa. This Christmas morning, she sat at Lawrence’s kitchen table, coffee in hand, watching him make pancakes. Sugar lay over her bare feet, keeping them perfectly warm while she waited. Through the sliding door to his diminutive backyard, she saw more snow had fallen overnight, icing an old oak’s branches. Paw prints in curlicue patterns disrupted the snow on the ground, yet everything still looked dreamy and wonderful to her.

“Are you sure your parents won’t think I’m a crasher? I wish I had a gift to bring.” She accepted a plate from Lawrence with three fluffy pecan pancakes in a neat stack, topped with butter and a generous pour of fragrant maple syrup.

“Everyone will be grateful I’m not sitting around like a lonely mope dragging down the mood. That’s gift enough for them. Anyway, my mom would never forgive me if I let you go back to the city alone while your family is out of town. You have to promise not to laugh at my little league pictures all over the hallway wall. Or believe any stories my sister tells you.”

Elena cut a chunk of pancake with her fork. She’d seen the entire process as he made breakfast but didn’t quite believe anyone could make pancakes this light and flavorful without sorcery. They melted on her tongue. “Is your sister a liar?”

“No, not at all. I just know she’s going to bust out all her most unflattering memories to give me a hard time. Remember, it’s all from her perspective. I was actually much more with it than she gives me credit for.”

“I can only imagine the embarrassing stories my brother Oliver would tell about me if he had a chance. He’d probably bring up that time I became truly convinced the basement was haunted. Wouldn’t go down there for months.”

“Kids. Such imaginations.” Lawrence added more syrup to his pancakes in amber drizzles. He pointed his fork at her. “Basements are pretty creepy when you think about it. I think Oliver is wrong and you were onto something.”

“Thank you! No one believed me. I swear I heard whispering down there.” She shivered.

He reached over to pinch her cheek. “I promise to go into all the basements with you.”

“I will use you as a human shield if a poltergeist comes for us.”

“Tough, but fair.” He got up to retrieve a mini nut-free pancake for Sugar. Torn between the promise of food and her spot on Elena’s feet, she lay there sniffing the air until he placed it right in front of her. “This one. She’s got the soft life. Wait till you see her at my parents’. I swear they’re happier to see her than me. Even their cat likes her. Go figure.”

Happiness billowed in Elena. She hummed between bites. A holiday with family and pets and him. Best of all, things didn’t feel awkward between them. He’d accepted her apology and she’d accepted his. Last night, after the splendid tree lighting, they came back here to talk everything out. They vowed to give each other the benefit of the doubt going forward, to be careful not to say hurtful things when they were upset. To cut each other slack.

She’d sat on his lap in front of the fireplace, shadow and light playing on his handsome face, amazed that she could have a conflict and things could turn out okay. That she could have a second chance and be willing to give one, despite everything she’d been taught to the contrary. Even Priya had admitted it sounded different from the fights that had torn her and Arjun apart. They’d often got madder at each other as time passed instead of wanting to reconcile.

Elena realized she had never been as alone as she felt in her lowest moments, because she’d always had her friend. Priya had been the sweetest to answer texts late last night, especially after Elena learned Priya had finally managed to meet up with her brother. Priya shared her brother’s confession that he was being bullied and that his out-of-character behavior had been his response to peer pressure. Thankfully, Kiaan had agreed to see his counselor again to find new ways to confront his problems. Yes, things might not be ideal all the time, but when people cared for each other, when they were willing to try, solutions existed.

Elena wiggled a foot free, petted Sugar’s cottony fur with her toes. “To be fair, she’s really, really cute.”

“Hey, if you only hang out here to see Sugar, I’ll take what I can get.” He shrugged those broad shoulders, a half smile on the lips she loved to kiss.

“You might be a smidge cuter.”

“Plus I don’t eat off the floor.”

“That is a mark in your favor.”

When they’d finished the pancakes, Lawrence took Sugar for a walk while Elena got ready to meet his family. Yesterday she’d been optimistic enough to pack clean clothes and her cosmetics pouch in her tote bag. Today she wouldn’t have to wear Sparkle purple; she could wear a cardinal-red angora sweater with gold jewelry. She bit at her lips as she surveyed her appearance in the bathroom mirror. Poised to minimize the difference between her eyebrows, she dropped her brow pencil in the sink. It had been a few years since she’d been at the meet-the-parents relationship stage. That relationship had ended after six months—not for any dramatic reason, just life.

How could she tell if what she and Lawrence had would last? She wanted this to be real. Needed it to her very core. Wanted their relationship to grow, to have more holidays with him. Was that why she felt like she was about to go on a job interview instead of a holiday meal? She twirled her hair around her finger as she mulled over what it would mean if Lawrence’s family didn’t like her. Would they hold a grudge about the fight, even if he didn’t? He was close with his family, and if she and they didn’t get along, he might question her suitability too.

No matter how they treated her, she would not fall back on her old ways. They weren’t that old, after all. Nothing could make her take the easy way and put up her protective barriers. She had to show Lawrence—and herself—that she didn’t have to resort to patronizing behavior to cover self-doubt.

But being vulnerable was unknown territory, left her fluttering with uncertainty. The hair coiled tight around her finger now, and she unwound it before she cut off circulation. She kept her hands busy putting on gold hoops before she pulled out all her hair.

“Beautiful,” Lawrence said, watching her descend the creaky stairs to the living room. She folded her hands together to keep from tangling them up in her hair again. “What’s wrong?” he asked when she got closer.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t go home? It’s not the first Christmas I’ve spent on my own, and it won’t be a big deal. We could see each other tomorrow.” His parents might like her better once some time had passed. Though she tried to be nonchalant, she couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Getting cold feet?”

“What? No. Not at all.” He snaked an arm around her waist. She adored that move, loved to be pulled into him. Caught up in her hopes and the excitement of the tree lighting, she’d jumped at his holiday invitation. Now she worried he felt he had to include her out of pity.

“Is it my plaid shirt? Do you not want to be seen with me? Nana got me this shirt, so I have to wear it.”

“Nana will be there?” Nana liked her. If Nana put in a good word, that could help. “Besides, you look good in everything.”

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

“It’s nothing. I’m being silly.” Dad had taught her negotiating skills and Mom had taught her etiquette, made her practice at the country club and charity luncheons. Since Lawrence’s mother had accommodated the unexpected addition, it would be unspeakably rude if Elena backed out. “I feel …” What did she feel? Something she wasn’t used to. “I feel shy.”

“Aw, baby, I’m an expert at shyness. Awful feeling. But you’ll be great. Follow Nana’s advice and be yourself. Everyone is excited to meet you, by the way. Mom stopped by while you were in the shower and asked what your favorite food is.”

“Oh no!” Elena leaned back, gave him a horrified look. “She’s not going to extra trouble for me is, she? I hope you told her I’ll eat anything. I’ll eat dirt if she serves it.”

“I did not say you eat dirt. Let’s save a little of your weird for the second time you visit.”

She pursed her lips. “They might not ask me back.”

“Come on, now, we don’t get too many new faces around these parts. They’ll want to get to know you.”

“Well, if you promise they won’t hate me.”

“Elena, sweetheart, no one could hate you.”

Not true. She’d hated herself since their disagreement up to the moment he kissed her at the tree lighting. But could she find the fortitude to trust him, to put herself out there? Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She swallowed to compose herself. “Okay, if you say so. Can I hide behind you if I get too scared?”

“My family aren’t poltergeists, I promise you. Guess what? I think you’re going to have fun. And we’re out of time. Sugar, get your leash. We gotta head over.”

A blind jump, then, and a faint faith for a safe landing.