The Christmas Pic

36. Jo

CHAPTER 36

JO

I’ve barely bid adieu to dreamland as my mother shuffles me across the threshold of my sister’s hospital room. The cold reality of my fight with Ava sinks in as I notice she’s nowhere to be seen. Am I surprised, though? Is this not what we agreed to, and what I expected all along?

In her room, Lena is tired but glowing. The teeniest cry emits from the swaddled Christmas blanket in her arms.

My mom puts her hand over her mouth, eyes filling with tears. “My grandbaby!”

“How was it?” I ask Lena.

A heavy snore erupts from Matt, who is snoozing across the room.

Lena shakes her head. “Exhausting. Exhilarating. I want sushi.” The bundle in her arms wriggles and my breath catches as I realize there’s a new member of our family in the room.

I take a seat by Lena’s bedside.

“Can I hold…?”

“Roger,” Lena’s eyes shine. “After Dad.” She gently hands me my nephew.

Cradling Roger, I'm struck by the fragility and strength in his tiny form–his little limbs moving gently, the fine hairs on his head barely visible.

Tears well up in my eyes. "Dad should’ve been here."

"He’s always here, Jo," Lena replies, her voice steady and reassuring. "In every little thing we do, Dad’s here."

When I come home from the hospital, I pick up the flannel-sailed ship in a bottle and carry it to my bedroom. I would give anything for my dad to tell me how to put my mind and my heart back together right now, but instead I fall asleep, rocked on an ocean of my own tears, completely alone.