The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 38

thirty-eight

LEXI

It’s been years since I’ve set foot in an arena. I used to love going to hockey games. What’s not to love? The slightly chlorinated scent of the ice, the excited chatter of thousands of fans, the greasy, overpriced concession food, and a fast-paced game full of men on skates. I wish I’d never let my ex and my dad taint the sport for me. I’ve missed this.

Scanning the arena to make sure I don’t spot anyone I know—namely, my dad and his assistant coaches—I get comfortable in my seat. I’m quite a few rows up near the neutral zone, which gives me a great view of the entire rink but also lets me blend in with the crowd. In a perfect world, I’d be down by the boards, cheering on my boyfriend and heckling the other team.

The Rogues are playing the Seattle Leviathans today. They’re a good team with an enthusiastic fanbase, but we’re better. The arena is a sea of yellow and gray. Only a few specks of Seattle’s navy and teal break up the wave of Rogues’ colors. Beer is flowing, people shout greetings to their neighbors, and signs wait to be unfurled.

I have one ready too. And since I know my dad and the team will have their backs to me when they’re on the player’s bench, I plan to use it. It’s a drawing of a certain furry green monster in a trashcan with a speech bubble that says, “Take out the trash, Ryder!” I’m no artist, so my Oscar looks a little wonky, but he’ll get the point across.

Ryder should know he has someone here cheering him on. That, despite my dad, I’m here for him.

I just hope I don’t end up regretting this.

My nerves kick up when the announcer introduces the Leviathans. Every new player that’s named makes my heart beat faster. This is the first time I’ll get to watch Ryder play in person. It’s the first hockey game I’ve been to in ages. And I’m risking being seen by my dad. I’m also nervous for Ryder. He feels so much pressure to play well and keep his spot on the team. I want that for him. I also don’t want him to get injured again or worsen his hand.

I’m a giant ball of nerves by the time the lights in the arena go down, the strobes kick on, and the announcer begins introducing the Rogues. People cheer and scream for each new player. The volume grows louder and louder as they go. When Ryder’s name is called out, I join in with the cheering fans around me and scream his name.

Ryder’s smile is electric as he takes to the ice and waves at the fans. He’s back in his element, and a thrill of pleasure shoots through my belly to see him this way. Happy. Energized. Plus, he looks hot as hell in his uniform. Something the women seated behind me seem to agree with as they comment on how they’d like to sink their teeth into his ass. I laugh and barely resist the urge to turn around and tell them that’s my boyfriend they’re talking about.

But that would not help me remain incognito.

I cheer when they introduce the guys from Maddox’s party. And then they announce the coaches. My stomach twists when my dad strides out onto the ice in a crisp, expensive suit. He looks so confident and happy. His sandy blond hair has more gray in it than the last game I watched. His tall, imposing form is still strong, though he’s a little softer around the middle than he was when I was younger. But he looks good. Do I want him to look miserable without me? I can’t decide. It hits me harder than I thought it would to see him out there like this. But I’m not here for my father. I’m here for my boyfriend.

When my eyes find Ryder again, some of the tightness in my chest eases and my stomach stops roiling. God, how can he have such a profound effect on me already? We’ve known each other for less than a month. It doesn’t make sense, but I also don’t want to question it. It’s nice having someone in my corner that gives a shit. Someone who centers me and encourages me. The fact that he can bring me to orgasm faster and more times than anyone else ever has isn’t a hardship, either.

The Rogues’ players skate around the ice for a few minutes to warm up, and when Ryder’s facing my direction, I hold up the sign. He’s so focused on what he’s doing that he doesn’t notice right away. But Logan Byrne does. Byrne flashes me a huge smile, then elbows Ryder, prompting him to look up into the seats. When his gaze finds me, I nearly melt from the absolute joy that radiates from him.

He finds my face first. His eyes widen and his lips part. Like he can’t believe I’m actually here. Then his attention wanders to the sign I’m holding above my head, and he doubles over with laughter. Logan joins him, and soon the rest of the guys are chuckling, though they make sure not to look at me all at once, so as not to draw my dad’s attention. Ryder stares at me, shaking his head, grinning like a fool. I mouth good luck before he skates away. The women behind me wonder loudly who I am.

I’m his girlfriend , I think as affection surges through me. And I’m in big trouble.

The Rogues absolutely kill it. Logan manages an impressive hat trick, Sebastian only lets one goal through, and Ryder has an assist in the third period that brings the final score to 4-1. The fans go crazy, and I scream my lungs out. I wish my best friend, Rachel, was here to enjoy this with me. Or that I had more friends in Minneapolis. I’m sure Isla and Mira are here in the family box, but I can’t sit up there. Not without my dad finding out. And while most dads in his position would be thrilled their daughter came to one of their games, my dad would simply wonder why I was here.

And I don’t want to try to come up with a believable lie.

I linger as the rest of the arena clears out, careful to avoid anywhere my dad might appear. Ryder texted me as soon as they hit the locker room, asking me to go out with him and the rest of the team. They’re going to a local bar called Chasers, which is their normal post-game hangout. Since I took an Uber to the arena, I’m waiting around for him. But I can’t head to the employee lot without risking being seen by my dad.

Fifteen minutes later, Ryder texts that he’s waiting outside the main entrance of the arena, and I rush to meet him with a stupid grin on my face.

“Hey, baby,” he says, scooping me up in a hug. He twirls me around, kissing me, before setting me back down and opening the passenger door for me. “I can’t believe you’re here.” His blue eyes are crystalline and bright as he scans my face. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Tucking my blonde hair behind my ear, I shrug. “Wanted to surprise you. And I figured, this way you, wouldn’t know if I chickened out and didn’t show.”

Ryder’s head tilts back at that, and he laughs loudly. “Fair enough. God, I can’t believe you’re here.” There is so much affection and joy in his expression. No one has ever been this excited to see me. Except maybe Rachel, but that’s how best friends are supposed to act when they see you. None of my previous boyfriends have ever looked at me with quite as much open delight as Ryder does now.

My heart flips pleasantly. He’s so different. I’m different with him.

I love it.

“I couldn’t miss your first game back.” Pushing up onto my toes, I grab the lapels of his suit jacket and pull him down for a kiss. Our mouths tangle with fervent need. Ryder pulls away too soon, and his lips quirk against mine when I whine at the loss of them.

“As much as I want to push you up against my car and take everything your hot little body is offering, we should probably go before someone sees us.” He pulls back just enough to study my face. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about keeping us a secret from your dad?”

“No.” I groan. “You’re right. Let’s go.” I slide into the leather passenger seat, and Ryder shuts the door behind me.

“You sure you’re good with hitting the bar with the guys?” he asks when he gets in beside me. “Isla and Mira should be there too. But if you’d rather be alone, we can go to my place.”

“I want to go,” I reassure him. As much as I’d love to get Ryder alone and have my wicked way with him, this was his first game back, not to mention a fantastic win. I won’t be that selfish girlfriend that keeps him from celebrating with his guys.

The Rogues cheer when we walk into the bar. They’re all holding beer bottles, laughing, joking around with each other. When Ryder and I approach the massive corner booth holding half the team, Isla, Mira, and several hopeful puck bunnies, a few of the guys slide out so I can scoot in and be near the other women.

“To the rookie,” Griffin says, plunking bottles in front of us and lifting his own in the air. “That assist was killer, Handsome.”

“To Handsome,” the guys cheer. Isla chuckles beside me.

“Handsome?” I ask Ryder with an arched eyebrow.

He shakes his head, covering a smile by taking a swig of his beer. “Yeah. It’s stupid, but it stuck. Apparently, some of our female fans think I’m attractive.”

I laugh, because yeah. The man has fan groups dedicated to his ass. A few of the women hanging around the outskirts of the group, hoping for some attention from one of the good-looking hockey players, stare openly at Ryder. He doesn’t even seem to notice. Just wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple.

“Lexi, it’s so good to see you again,” Isla says when one of Ryder’s teammates demands his attention.

“Yeah,” Mira agrees. “You should have told us you were coming to the game so we could have sat with you.”

I return their warm smiles, grateful for how kind and welcoming they are. “Oh, I’m sure you ladies were sitting in the family box, and I wanted to stay incognito. Don’t want my dad to know when I’m at a game.”

Mira’s smile turns commiserating. “We don’t always sit in the box. Sometimes we like sitting down in the stadium seats right by the glass.”

“Except for that time we got heckled,” Isla says with a grimace. “That sucked.”

My brow rises at that. “You got heckled?”

“Yeah,” she says. “It was shortly after Maddox and I came out with our relationship and he was having an off game. The fans around us seemed to think that was my fault. He almost started a fight with a few of them.”

Barking out a laugh, I glance at Maddox, who steals looks at Isla every few seconds. Like she’s the sun, and he’s helplessly stuck in her gravitational pull. It’s sweet. And after a month of dating Ryder, I can finally admit to myself that I want what they have. They don’t question the other’s love. They’re clearly secure in each other. I want that.

“I heard about that, actually.” I suppose I simply hadn’t put two and two together that Isla was the woman Maddox had jumped in to defend.

“It’s not usually like that,” Mira tells her friend with a pat on her hand.

Isla nods. “I know.” She turns to me. “Next time, tell us when you’re coming. We’ll sit with you.”

Warmth fills my chest. Ryder gives my shoulder a squeeze, like he somehow knows exactly what I’m thinking and feeling. How much the easy acceptance they’ve offered means to me. I’ve been so busy with my master’s program that I mistook busyness for happiness. But I’ve missed having friends around me. Missed sharing nights like this with people who get me and like me.

I need to plan a trip to visit Rachel soon. She’s my person, and I miss the hell out of her.

“Okay,” I relent. “Next time, I promise to give you ladies a heads-up.”

Mira pulls her phone out of her purse and hands it to me. “Put your number in.”

I do, and a moment later, my phone buzzes with an incoming text.

Hockey Honeys

Mira

Isla, this is Lexi’s number. Lexi, store our numbers in your phone.

Grinning, I cock an eyebrow as I look up at Mira. “Hockey Honeys?”

“I like alliteration,” is her reply. “And I couldn’t come up with anything better on the fly.”

“I like it.” Isla giggles. “It’s lame but perfect.”

My phone buzzes again. This time, it’s a gif with some bees wearing makeup. I store the number with Isla’s information, then add Mira’s. The three of us laugh.

“Hope you don’t mind ongoing and ridiculous text threads,” Mira says.

I shake my head, snuggling into Ryder’s side. “Not at all. I can’t wait.”

The night goes by in a blur of drinks and laughter. Ryder can’t keep his hands off me, though we’re both careful to make sure no one snaps any photos of us together. The last thing I need is a picture of us kissing to show up on some hockey fan site. The other guys help shield us from unwanted attention as well, and I am so thankful. It allows me to relax and enjoy my boyfriend and the friendships developing with the people around this table.

Ryder tugs me out of the booth at the end of the night because I can’t seem to keep my eyes open any longer. As we say our goodbyes, the only thing that would make this night better is if we didn’t have to keep our relationship a secret.

Not for the first time, resentment for my father curdles in my belly. But then Ryder kisses me before clicking my seat belt into place, and that resentment is replaced by contentment.

This may be more complicated than I’d like, but Ryder Hanson is worth every inconvenience and subterfuge.