The Christmas You Crash (Going Rogue #2)

Chapter 39

thirty-nine

RYDER

“How do you know you’ve found the one?” I ask the guys as we get ready for an away game against the Boston Renegades. Despite the energetic chatter of the locker room, Maddox, Griffin, Logan, and Sebastian give me their full attention.

“The one?” Logan narrows his eyes. “You’ve been dating Hot Cross Buns for how long?”

“Dude.” I shake my head.

“Apologies,” he says with a smirk. “HCB.”

Although I agreed to that stupid code name, right now, when he’s using it to tease me, it’s pissing me off. Noticing my annoyance, Logan grins wider. “And to answer your question, we’ve been dating just over a month now.”

And we’ve spent every possible minute together. It’s been much more difficult to carve out time now that I’m back on the ice, and Lexi’s course load isn’t anything to scoff at. My woman works hard. So, I show up with coffee or lunch whenever I can to surprise her between classes and steal some moments together.

We’re playing the first of a five-game away streak tonight, and even the thought of being away from Lexi for that long has me tense and agitated.

“Dude.” Logan shakes his head as he pulls his jersey on. “What’s the rush?”

“Ignore him,” Maddox says. “Byrne wouldn’t know the one, even if she lit his hair on fire.”

Logan pales and his hand goes to his sandy-blond hair. “Don’t even say things like that.”

Sebastian’s shoulders shake with silent laughter. “I can’t wait until you fall so head over heels you can’t shut up about her. We’ll never let you forget how completely against love you were.”

“Not going to happen,” Logan replies confidently. “Love is a lie and marriage is just a piece of paper.”

“Just because your dad treats it that way doesn’t make it the truth.” Navarro braces a hand on Logan’s shoulder. Logan brushes Bash’s words and hand off, but he can’t hide the haunted look that overtakes his eyes for a split second before he manages to school his expression.

“You think she may be the one?” Griffin asks, bringing the conversation back around. He grins like a little boy surrounded by puppies. Ever since Maddox and Isla got together, the guy is in love with love. Actually, I’m not sure he wasn’t always that way. Some of the things he says make me think the guy’s always been a closet romantic.

“Maybe,” I say as I bend over to lace up my Bauers. If this isn’t love, I don’t know what it is. Infatuation? I’m not sure that covers it. Every second of the day, I’m consumed with thoughts of Lexi. I wake up hard as a rock, dreaming of her lips on me, her soft body welcoming mine. Whenever I have a free minute, I’m calling or texting her. I fall asleep with the image of her face painted in vivid colors across my eyelids. Nothing she says bores me. I want to know everything. All the moments of her day. All the thoughts that cross her mind. And I want to tell her everything. Not since my dad passed have I felt so close to another person.

She’s my person. And I think I’m hers.

“You two are cute as fuck together,” Griffin says.

Maddox nods in agreement, even though he’d never use those exact words to describe Lexi and me. “It’s different for everyone. I think, for me, it was realizing that I could no longer imagine my life without Isla. There wasn’t some huge lightning-strike event that made me see it. More like a thousand little moments that added up to an undeniable truth. Loving Isla became part of my DNA. She burrowed under my skin. And when I thought she was getting back together with her asshole ex-fiancé, it killed me. I was so pissed and so hurt, but even then, I never stopped loving her.”

“But is it too soon?” I ask, giving voice to the thought that haunts me.

“You planning on proposing when we get back, Handsome?” Maddox’s brow lifts.

“No, of course not.” That’s not to say I haven’t had thoughts of proposing to Lexi someday .

Our team captain and star center leans forward in his spot on the locker room bench, resting his elbows on his knees. “There are only two people in the world who can answer if it’s too soon to know whether HCB is the one . And that’s you and her. Anyone else’s opinion is just noise, Rookie.” He rises to his feet, grabbing his stick. “But for what it’s worth, you’re different since you’ve been with her. You’re happier. More focused. Settled in yourself, you know? I can’t tell you if she’s the one, but I can tell you love her.”

I can tell you love her .

Do I? Do I love her? I’m crazy about her, sure. Can’t stop thinking about her. But love ? Do I love her?

Shit. I think I love her .

Maddox chuckles. “Admitting it to yourself for the first time, aren’t you?” He pats my back a few times, jarring me from my thoughts. “Yeah. It’s a mind fuck.”

Yeah. It is.

My ribs are bruised, and I’ve got a split lip after an altercation on the ice with the Renegades’ second-line right winger, but not even my sore body can temper the anticipation I feel when I get to my hotel room and flop onto the queen-size bed. My roommate for the trip is out with the rest of the guys at a bar celebrating a hard-fought win, but I begged off for the night. I need to see Lexi’s face. Hear her voice.

My girl picks up on the third ring. Tension melts out of my body when her beautiful face fills my phone’s screen. Her green eyes widen when they fall on my split lip. Pushing her golden hair away from her face, she takes the rest of me in. “Oh my god, babe. Are you okay? I can’t believe that asshole tried to start shit with Bash.”

I can’t, either. Everyone knows you don’t go after the goalie. That’s why I got into a fight. Normally, I stay out of brawls, but the prick with a shitty attitude and straggly lip sweater cross-checked Sebastian into the pipe. All because Navarro was on fire tonight and he’d easily ignored all the right winger’s immature chirping.

Shit like that can’t stand. So, I went after the guy. Totally worth the time I spent in the sin bin for it too.

“He won’t start anything with Bash again,” I say with a feral grin. It tugs at my split lip, but I couldn’t care less. Lexi’s pupils blow wide. Apparently, my girl is a little bloodthirsty. Damn. This woman is perfect for me.

“I miss you,” she says, giving words to my own thoughts. “So much. Is that too needy?” She grins. “I don’t care.”

Chuckling, I unbutton my dress shirt. “Nah, OTG. Not too needy at all. I miss you too. Wish you were here.”

“Me too. Stupid school.” Lexi blows out a deep breath. Her eyes track my fingers as they undo the next few buttons. Heat fills those beautiful green irises, and her lids lower to half-mast. Her tongue darts out and swipes across her lower lip. “Stupid distance.”

“You know, there are plenty of things we can do to feel close to one another, even with thousands of miles between us.” I waggle my eyebrows at her and am rewarded with a bright peal of laughter.

“Oh, yeah? And what, exactly, do you have in mind, Handsome?”

My chest warms at her use of my nickname. I like the sound of it on her lips a hell of a lot more than when the guys on my team use it. When I’ve flicked the last button open, I sit up and shrug out of my dress shirt and jacket. Lexi’s greedy emerald eyes track across my now-exposed chest. A pretty pink flush spreads across her cheeks, and I can’t help thinking about other pretty pink parts of her body.

“You alone, baby?”

With her lower lip rolled between her teeth, Lexi nods.

“I want to see you. All of you. Would you do that for me?”

Her pupils blow impossibly wide at that, but she looks unsure. Primal satisfaction wells up within me. My girlfriend has never gotten naked over FaceTime. I’ll be her first. And her last.

Shit. I can’t entertain thoughts like that yet.

“Are you alone?”

“Of course, I am,” I reassure her. “I would never let anyone else see you. You’re mine, Alexis. Only mine.”

Lexi’s eyes bounce across my face, assessing me for a few beats, but then she smiles shyly. “And you’re mine, Ryder Hanson.”

“I am,” I agree. “And I’m hard as a rock right now. Because of you. For you. I want to come watching you touch yourself.” Flicking open my suit pants, I strip down to my boxer briefs and pan the phone down, so she can see exactly what she does to me.

“I’ve never done this,” she whispers when I bring the phone back up to my face.

She needs reassurance that she’s safe to take this step with me. She needs to hear that I would never—not ever— betray the trust she’d have to put in me to allow herself to be vulnerable like this. And I don’t blame her. Revenge porn is a real, and disgusting, reality for women. But even if things between us blew up in spectacular fashion, I would cut off my own hand before allowing anyone to see private images of Lexi. Not that I’d even consider recording what happens between us if she decides to give it a try.

“No one’s around to see you, baby. And I would never record you. I need you to know that. Even so, there’s no pressure. If you’re not comfortable with this, I won’t be upset. Or if you’d be more comfortable turning the video off, we could still have plenty of fun together that way.”

She considers my words carefully, but I can see how turned on she is. Which is why I’m not surprised a moment later when she squares her jaw and says, “I trust you, Ryder.”

I trust you, Ryder . Have I ever heard four sweeter words?

My cock grows rock hard when Lexi chews on her lower lip before setting her phone down and stripping her shirt off. The camera points at her, and I greedily catalog every perfect, smooth inch of her body. Her chest heaves in a simple gray cotton bra, and it’s just as sexy as the lacy little numbers I’ve seen her in. Hell, I don’t care what Lexi wears. She’s always sexy.

“God,” I breathe. “You are so stunning, baby.” She glances at me and flushes. “Would you take your bra off for me?”

She only hesitates for a second, and then the cotton garment slips off her shoulders and falls to her bed. Those soft, perfect breasts of hers spill out, and my breath catches in my lungs.

“Beautiful.”

Picking her phone back up, Lexi sprawls out on her back. Her free hand skims over her chest, running slowly over her breasts. “Are you going to get naked for me?”

My boxer briefs are off the moment the words fall from her lips. Lexi chuckles, but when I pan the phone down to give her a view of my hand fisting my cock, she sucks in a ragged breath. “Like what you see?”

“Yes,” she gasps. “You have the best cock.”

“Well, thank you, beautiful. And you have the prettiest pussy. Is it wet for me? Show me.”

Lexi does as I ask. She pushes her simple gray panties down her legs. Her thighs fall open, and I’m greeted with the most beautiful sight. Pink and swollen, she’s already so wet for me.

“Oh, fuck.” I stroke my cock. “Look at you.” I watch, enraptured, as Lexi’s slender fingers part her lips. Gathering some of her wetness, she circles her clit and lets out a soft moan.

“Ryder,” she murmurs. “I wish it was your fingers on me.”

“I know,” I say. There is nothing I want more in this moment than to feel Lexi’s fingers wrap around my dick. To feel her warm palm gripping me as she strokes me. “Just imagine I’m the one circling that swollen clit, baby. I’m the one spreading your slick juices over that perfect little bud.”

Her fingers increase their pace, and her thighs fall farther open. Groaning, I pump myself in time with her self-ministrations. She must be watching me the same way I’m watching her, because she moans when a bead of pre-cum leaks from my slit. I drag my thumb through it, spreading it over my thick head, imagining it’s her arousal coating me instead of my own.

“Oh, god, Ryder,” she moans. Her hips lift off the bed, and I nearly come when she presses two of her fingers inside her dripping pussy. She fucks herself and I can only stare. My cock is painfully hard now. But I want to watch her come before I give in to the throbbing need of my own body. I’m mesmerized by her.

“That’s it, baby,” I say. I almost don’t recognize my own voice, it’s so rough. “Fuck your pretty little pussy. Just like that. Now circle your clit.”

She does as I instruct, and I watch her slick fingers withdraw from her body and circle her clit. Her breathing gets faster. Ragged. She’s close. I am too. “Ryder,” she whines. But her fingers don’t stop moving. No, they pick up the pace, pressing on her clit in quicker circles. I stroke my dick faster, too, imagining I’m there with her. Thrusting into her tight heat. Playing her body like a familiar and beloved instrument.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” I praise through my own panting. “God, look at you. So perfect. So beautiful.”

“I’m close,” she gasps, rocking against the heel of her palm as she thrusts two fingers back inside of herself. “So close.”

“I know you are,” I rasp. “Come for me, baby. Come all over your fingers. I’m going to imagine it’s my cock your pretty pussy is strangling instead.”

“Oh, god,” she moans. And then her body is shivering and convulsing. Her stomach tightens and her back arches as desperate sounds pour from her perfect mouth.

I can’t hold it back any longer. Two more hard strokes, and I’m coming too. Thick ropes of cum spurt across my lower stomach, and I hear Lexi whisper, “Fuck.”

Fuck is right. I’ve never come so hard by my own hand as I just did. My body buzzes with endorphins as my cock pulses one last time.

Lexi’s face comes back into view on my screen. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are wild, hair mussed from thrashing against the bed. She looks beautiful. I wish I was there to hold her.

“Wow,” she whispers, smiling wide.

“Yeah,” I agree. “Wow is right.”

“That was…”

“Incredible?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

I want to blurt out that I can’t get enough of her. That I think she’s it for me. That I’m totally crazy about her and can never see myself feeling this way about anyone else ever again. I want to tell her I’m falling in love with her.

Instead, I say, “Lick your fingers clean for me, Alexis.”

She does.

I’m a goner.