The Coast is Clear (Breakaway Shores #1)

Izzy

Yourself

Luke popped his head into the living room. “You ready?” I was sitting on the floor with one boy on either side. We were watching one of their favorite shows that, of course, starred dinosaurs.

“Ready for what?” I asked, trying to remember a conversation I must have missed. I used to be able to remember and keep track of everything, but since Jack died, my mind struggled.

He smiled, “It’s a surprise. But if you had to go somewhere right now, would you be ready?”

I narrowed my eyes on him. Something was weird. He had a goofy smile on his face. “I guess. ”

The doorbell rang, and he moved to the door very quickly. “Oh,” my brother turned to face me, “You need to grab your laptop, actually.”

“What is going on?” Christian nuzzled his head into my shoulder.

“Come on, get up,” Luke said, talking with his hands.

I shook my head. He stood by the front door, his hand on the handle as I walked up the stairs. I could hear the door open and close but only heard hushed tones. I flicked the light on and glanced at myself in the fading mirror on top of the dresser. My hair was thrown out of my face, and I didn’t put any makeup on today.

I had no clue what was going on, but this had better be good enough. My laptop was plugged in on my bedside table, even though I hadn’t opened it in days. I grabbed it and went back out into the hallway. Standing next to Zander, Luke looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs.

Zander smiled at me, and I felt a flutter of nervousness in my stomach. I could still feel his lips on my neck. I hadn’t been able to let go of what that felt like, how electric it had felt. “Okay, now you really need to tell me what’s going on.”

“You’re going out,” Zander answered, the timber of his voice so attractively low.

“Grab your stuff,” Luke said with a smile, grabbing my keys off the hooks by the front door.

“Okay, guess I’m just going to be ordered around.”

Zander chuckled. Luke opened the front door and walked out toward his car. I went to follow him when Zander caught me by the wrist. The spot where his fingers touched my skin made something inside me squirm. “Try to enjoy yourself, okay? Everything will be okay. The boys will be just fine.”

“Is this your doing?” I asked, frozen on the spot.

He nodded and then looked over my shoulder. “Boys, say see ya later to Mom,” he called to my sons.

Their little voices overlapped as they called out, “Bye, Mom,” and “See ya later, Mama.”

Zander let go of my wrist and nudged me out the door. He closed the door with a smile, and I walked down the stairs to the front path, confused. Luke sat in his car, waving me toward him. “Let’s go! We’re on a schedule here. Don’t want to be late.”

“Late to what?” I asked, almost frustrated, as I slid into the passenger seat.

My brother had the audacity to laugh at me as he pulled out of the driveway.

I never wanted to get up. I wanted to lay on this massage table for the rest of my life. I wanted to fall asleep and listen to the sounds of a stream forever. I’d spent the last ninety minutes being treated to the best massage of my life with essential oils and hot rocks. I couldn’t stop thinking about Zander as I lay there, my muscles relaxed. He had set this up for me, Luke had told me. He’d wanted me to have some time to myself, so he was at the house to hang out with the boys.

I knew he had experience with kids, but leaving them with him still felt strange. Luke was at the house, but it was a Zander playdate. The boys hadn’t ever spent time like that with a man who wasn’t family. I pushed myself up to a sitting position and held the thin white sheet to my chest. The room was darkened, and a huge bowl of white Lifesavers mints sat on the little counter. A stack of envelopes for gratuity and another envelope sat up where the wall met the counter. It was yellow and had my name written on it. I stood, taking one short step to be able to grab it.

I left the sheet on the table, and my bare skin felt cold. The envelope was sealed in the very center, and it tore quickly. There was a small piece of white paper inside.

,

I hope that you enjoyed your massage. Now, you’ll find an Uber waiting outside for you to take you to the coziest coffee shop in town. Take your time, write. Work on that story, or just read something. The boys are taken care of, and we’ll see you for dinner.

Zander

I wanted to kick and fight, to make a big deal about how I didn’t need a break. But truthfully, I liked it. I wanted the time just to relax, take care of myself, and try to take another stab at this terrible draft of my book. I leaned back against the massage table, holding tightly onto the note. Jack used to do this for me when Christian was little. He made pockets of time for me to write, go to the store alone, and get a break, even if it was short. And now Zander was doing it, too.

I looked down at my left hand, my rose gold wedding band on my ring finger. It moved around more easily than it had before. I’d lost weight since Jack died. It was harder to take care of myself, and some days I had no appetite. I put the ring on each morning because it felt strange not to.

And I thought of my conversation with Zander’s neighbor and realized I’d reached a new milestone. One where putting this ring on didn’t have as much meaning anymore. Not like it once did.

The thought made my heart ache, even though it was true. I folded the note up and placed it in my purse. I dressed, grabbed a handful of those mints, and headed to the front. The ladies behind the front desk smiled and waved me on, telling me it had been taken care of. A white car was parked in one of the parking spaces, and a young girl stood next to it. She met my eyes as I came out the door, “?”

“That’s me.”

“Great, I’ve got strict orders to get you to a coffee shop.”

I laughed and sat in the passenger seat next to her. I didn’t use ride shares very often, but when I did, I sat up front. It seemed strange to sit in the back and let someone else drive me around. The drive was short, and I probably could have walked, but the girl dropped me off in front of Insomniac Coffee. It hadn’t been there when I’d been growing up, but the floor-to-ceiling windows made the inside bright, even though it was cloudy. The smell of coffee filled my head when I walked inside. I ordered something decaf because it was already three o’clock and sat at a small table in the corner. My laptop engine almost groaned when I turned it on, and it felt like it knew that’s how I was feeling, too.

My manuscript opened quickly, and I began to reread where I had been and where I had left off. I’d written myself into a corner and needed to figure out where I went wrong.

Mist filled the air as I turned onto my temporary street. I’d walked home, not sure if there had been another driver waiting for me. But the coffee shop was less than a mile from the house, and I needed the break. I’d figured out at which point I’d gone in the wrong direction, and it had felt equally terrifying and satisfying to delete about ten thousand words. Sometimes, you had to write an idea out to know if it worked. After deleting a fifth of my writing, I sat at that table and looked down at my wedding ring again.

I couldn’t remember what it felt like not to wear it, so I pulled it off my finger and attached it to my necklace instead. As I walked home, it was like the skin on my finger had never been exposed to the open air. Sometimes, you had to try something to see if it felt right.

My rental house came into view, and a woman with her dog turned onto the sidewalk and headed toward me. Her eyes widened, and she waved, “Are you Stanton? The author?”

I glanced behind me, unsure why, almost like I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me. But she was. “I am.” I smiled, not used to being recognized in public.

I had done book events and tours for my last two books, but I wasn’t a household name. The woman was older than me, maybe in her forties. “I just loved your books. Your brother lives in town, but I didn’t think I’d run into you. I’m sorry to bug you, but I just can’t wait for your next book to come out.”

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.”

She smiled and wrapped her dog’s leash around her hand, “When is your next book coming out? Do you know?”

“I’m still writing it right now, so I don’t have any dates for you.”

The woman nodded, “That’s okay. You take your time. It’ll be worth the wait.” She waved, “Thanks for letting me say hi.”

I waved back, and we passed by each other. I walked up the front path to the rental house, and when I reached for the handle, the door opened on its own. Christian stood in the doorway with his hands outstretched. “Right this way, my madam.”

“Why, thank you, my sir,” I smiled and couldn’t help but remember the first time he said that to me. It had been so random, and I loved it when he called me that.It always made me chuckle a little.

Christian led me down the hallway to the kitchen at the back of the house. The long ranch-style table was covered with food. There was a tray of chicken nuggets and a bowl of mac and cheese. There was some bright green jello and a jug of lemonade. Zander stepped out of the kitchen with a salad bowl, “They chose the menu, but I figured we better have something healthy.”

Luke was outside, the French doors open. He picked up Kingston as he laughed, kicking his legs. Christian went outside, jumping on Luke’s leg, and I leaned against one of the dining room table chairs. Zander placed the salad bowl down, and I grabbed his arm. He stopped, moving closer to me. I leaned back, looked up at him, and smiled. “Thank you for today.”

He placed a hand on my arm, rubbing it up and down. “You deserve it.” I glanced outside, and the boys were tackling Luke in the grass. I leaned onto the balls of my feet and kissed Zander’s cheek. The feeling of his short scruff on my face made my core heat up. His arm moved around my back, and he stepped, moving so his back was to the backyard. “That’s my thank you?” he whispered, a smirk on his face.

I laughed, and the feeling was so warm in my chest. “You want something else, Zander? ”

His eyes closed for a moment, and he took another step into me, our bodies pressed up against each other. “I love it when you say my name.” My stomach flip-flopped, and I wanted to touch him even more. I wanted to feel his hands on every part of me, and that scared me. He softly touched my chin, pulling my face up and kissing me. This kiss was soft and tentative but only made me want more. I pressed into him harder than I thought I would and kissed him back. His other hand traveled down my arm, onto my waist, and I felt him tug at the waistband of my pants. Every part of my body was on fire, and I wished we were alone. Christian yelled from outside, not an angry or hurt yell but just loud. The sound made us both pull away. I touched my fingers to my lips as Zander glanced outside, the three boys heading in our direction. “We’ll finish that later,” he whispered.

He turned, pulling out a chair for me as Luke came back in, carrying Kingston on his back. “Let’s eat, boys,” Zander called out, and I avoided my brother’s eyes.

Could he see it on us? The kiss we’d just shared and how I wanted to rip off Zander’s shirt and let my hands trace his body. Christian sat next to me, and Kingston was on the other side. They both reached across the table, grabbing chicken nuggets. “Did you have a good day, Mommy?” Christian asked, shoving a nugget in his mouth.

“I did.” I put some salad on my plate as Luke sat beside Kingston and Zander across the table. “I had a great massage and then worked on my book.”

“Good job, Mommy.” The words came out garbled as Kingston spoke with the cheesy noodles in his mouth.

“What did you guys do today?” I asked, glancing between my two sons. In turn, they both looked at Zander and then back at me. “What is that look for?” I asked, my eyes turning toward Zander. He chuckled, placing a large fry in his mouth before shrugging his shoulders. Luke coughed, avoiding my eyes. “Let me guess, you guys did something I would have said no to?”

Kingston nodded, sitting on his knees to grab his drink with both hands. “We had a water balloon fight, and then we got to shoot Uncle Luke’s paintball gun!”

It wasn’t as bad as I had been imagining in my mind. While I didn’t love the idea of them shooting a high-powered gun, I knew that Luke would let himself get hurt before he let them get hurt. “And then, we went swimming at the beach for a bit before coming back to make you dinner. So not too bad.”

“It was such a fun day,” Christian said, a smile on his face.

I looked across the table at Zander and smiled, hoping he understood how grateful I was for the day he’d planned for me. His face broke out into a grin, and I knew he did. We both laughed. It was strange to be able to communicate with him like that when we’d only known each other for a short time. Luke looked between us and then rolled his eyes, “Oh great.”

“What?” I asked, stabbing my fork into my salad .

“You guys are gross.”

“Mom is gross?” Kingston asked, his little face scrunched up in confusion.

Luke leaned close to him, his face silly, “The grossest.”

Kingston giggled, and I threw my brother a glare. He stuck his tongue out at me, and Christian copied him. Perfect. But as we sat and ate, the boys told me a story about a seagull who wouldn’t leave them alone. That’s what I kept coming back to.

Perfect.