The Coast is Clear (Breakaway Shores #1)

Izzy

Introduction

The boys circled the living room, trying to see who could last the longest. Luke shook his head. “I wish I had that much energy.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” I said, watching them as I yawned. I’d stayed up too late writing. It had felt exciting and good to be making progress finally.

The door opened, and Luke turned his head. “Dee!” he yelled out.

I spotted the girl coming into the living room as Zander stepped back inside from the back deck. He was manning the grill, and it was crucial that no one else touch the food. I admired his body as he walked. He wore a blue t-shirt that hung onto his shoulders snugly and a pair of black pants that looked made for his long muscular legs. “I’m so glad you made it safe,” Zander said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

She hugged him, smiling, “I have someone I want you to meet, actually.”

Luke looked at me, his mouth in the shape of an o . I could see Zander’s shoulders stiffen as a young man peeked his head inside the door. He was cute and put his hand out for Zander to shake. He wore a light-blue polo, and his hair was spiked up at the front. Dee looked at him like he was everything good in the world. It was obvious that she was smitten. Zander just stared down at the boy’s hand, and Dee watched. I came up beside Zander, my hand finding a place on his back before saying, “It’s nice to meet you, Dee. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She threw a glare at Zander before pulling me into a hug. “My uncle has talked a lot about you. It’s nice to meet you!”

To his credit, the boy still had his hand out, waiting for Zander. Luke shook his hand instead and asked, “Dee, could you introduce this young man to the group?”

She put her hand on the boy's bicep, stepping close to him. “This is Matt. He’s my boyfriend.”

I squeezed Zander’s hand and made a face at him. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, Matt. I was not expecting Dee to bring home a friend. Why don’t you both come in, and we can get some food?”

We made our way to the kitchen, and Dee and Matt dropped their bags in the living room. “So how is Oregon State, Dee?” Zander asked.

Dee’s face lit up. “It’s so amazing. I love campus, and my classes have all been so interesting so far.”

The boys were sprawled out on the couch, their chests heaving. “This is Christian and Kingston,” Zander told Dee as we all kind of awkwardly stood around and observed them. “They are ’s boys.”

My boys. They are. My heart swelled at how glad I was that they were mine. Kingston popped his head up. “I won.”

Christian pushed his whole body up, glaring at his younger brother. “No, I won.”

I put my hand on Christian’s leg. “It’s okay. Why don’t you guys go see who can reach the back fence first?” They loved competition, and it was the perfect way to tire them out.

Christian was up first, running around the oversized couch as Kingston followed, but he waited at the French doors for his brother. I watched them, ignoring the conversation going on around me. They were such good kids.

“It’s a really great program. Matt is studying sports medicine as well.” Dee stepped toward her boyfriend, who smiled, his eyes flickering between Luke and Zander. I sure hoped that Dee prepped him before coming and didn’t throw him into the lion’s den without any heads up.

“Sports medicine is a great field. So Matt, where are you from?” Zander asked, crossing his large arms over his chest. I loved how his muscles sloped, and suddenly, I wanted to have my hands on them. I stood, hoping to shake off the lusty feelings surging through me, and stayed about an arm’s length away from Zander.

“I’m from Medford,” Matt said simply.

Dee rolled her eyes. “If you’re going to interrogate him, at least feed him first.”

Luke chuckled and nodded to the backyard. “Everything’s ready. Let’s go out on the deck.” And Zander relaxed a bit as he served everyone up. He made a plate for Kingston and Christian, and it felt strange just to sit down and eat my food. The boys sat across the table from me, choosing their spots on their own.

Luke decided to dominate the time, telling stories about crazy clients and complaining about his latest romantic pursuits.

The time passed quickly, and then the boys were ready for bed, but I didn’t really want to leave. Luke was getting a fire started in the pit, and Dee was giving him a hard time. I had Kingston in my arms as Zander came back outside and right over to me. “Little guy tired?”

“I’m not little, I’m big,” Kingston murmured, his little voice tickling my neck.

Zander laughed and rubbed his hand up and down Kingston’s back. “Sorry, buddy.”

“Yeah, I’m going to have to head out. But this was such a fun night.”

“Do you want to stay? They can sleep in the guest room. The bed is big enough that I don’t think they’d bug each other.” Zander’s voice was small, and I held his gaze. This felt like a big step, something you couldn’t return from. Just like kissing him and knowing what that feels like.

But this was life with kids. I couldn’t just parade around town, having late nights because I wanted to date someone. But he was not shying away from that; he didn’t mind them being there. In fact, he really seemed to like it.

I was overthinking this. I nodded. “Sure.”

Zander led us to the guest room. Kingston yawned as I sat him on the bed and removed his socks. “I’ll be downstairs, okay?” Zander whispered, tapping on the frame of the door.

I glanced over my shoulder and nodded just as Kingston asked, “Mommy, can I see a photo of me and Daddy?”

An ache shook through my chest. We’d had this conversation before. Christian had a little book my mother-in-law had made for him filled with pictures of him and Jack. But there were none of Kingston and Jack, which continued to break my heart. Kingston’s little eyes were watching me very intently. “Well, baby, Daddy went to heaven while you were still in my belly. So, I don’t have any. Do you want to look at some photos of Daddy?”

He broke my gaze and looked down at his fingers, weaving them together. “Why did Daddy die?”

I sat on the bed next to his tiny frame and wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He leaned into me, putting his little hand on my thigh. “You know, I don’t know why Daddy had to die.” My voice broke, and the tears were there before I could stop them. “But I do know that Daddy loves us. And he loves you very much.”

Kingston leaned into me and let out a big sigh. “I miss him.”

“Me too.” And just like that, a heavy fog settled into my chest. It had been there before. This fog, this sick feeling that came with missing Jack. Sometimes, it dissipated quickly, and sometimes made me want to lay in bed for days. Everything about this was unfair. Kingston crawled by the pillow and patted the spot next to him, “Lay with me?”

And so, I did.

Zander had taken Matt inside with him, and I was sitting out by the fire with Dee, trying to shake off the suffocating weight on my chest. Christian had been very excited about sleeping over at Zander’s, while part of me just wanted to be alone. That was easier when we were in Colorado, even though it wasn’t the healthiest thing for me to do, to pull away. I pulled the blanket up over my legs and smiled at Dee. “I just want you to know that Zander is head over heels for you. After his last relationship, it makes me so glad.”

“Yeah, he told me a bit about Natalie, right?”

Dee nodded. “I try to keep my opinions to myself because I may have scared off some of his girlfriends when I was younger. They were terrible, in my defense. But I couldn’t stop myself with her.” Dee waved her hands through the air. “But that doesn’t matter because now he has you.”

“Zander is…well…the best,” I said, my cheeks burning because he was terrific.And sexy, but I wasn’t going to tell his daughter that.

“I remember bits and pieces of my dad, mostly because Zander talked about him so much growing up. He stepped up for me when I really needed him. He’s a great dad, even if he won’t let me call him that.” Dee folded her hands on her lap, eyes on the fire.

“He is good at that, stepping up.” And part of me doubted everything at that moment. Was that his MO? Did he like to fix things? Help people? Was I just another wayward person who needed him to save them? My heart ached because that couldn’t be true. I wouldn’t allow it. I pulled at the rough Pendleton blanket and was glad to see Zander and Matt coming out of the house.

“We have treats,” Matt said, handing Dee a white bag of cookies before sitting beside her.

“And your favorite, Iz,” Zander said, my heart leaping at the shortened version of my name. He sat next to me on the couch and handed me a box of iced oatmeal cookies. I started to open the box and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He put his arm around me, settling right next to me. “So, Dee, Matt told me how you guys plan to visit his parents over winter break.” The feeling of him and his warmth chipped away at some of that terrible heaviness around me.

Dee shot a glance at Matt, and it made me chuckle. “Yeah, we were thinking about it.”

“Do you think you’ll still visit for Christmas, though?” And I could hear the real question in his voice.

Dee leaned forward, “Yes, always Christmas, Pops.” Zander nodded curtly, and I loved that she called him Pops. “But where will you be? I know that well…” she drifted off.

I felt my shoulders stiffen, and Zander squeezed my shoulder. “That has yet to be figured out, but I’ll let you know.”

“Yeah, so she’s buying your house and you’re moving but dating?” Matt asked with a mouth full of cookies.

Zander and I exchanged glances, and I rolled my eyes, trying to diffuse the annoyance I read on his face. “Yeah, it’s a unique situation, but I fell for the house first. To be clear.”

“Oh yeah?” Dee asked, her eyes bright. “Because I think this one was smitten immediately. He called me the day you met—"

“Dee, what—" Zander started, but Dee kept going.

“He doesn’t call me just to chat usually. I’m a college student, we text. But he told me all about seeing you and how nice you were. Nice was code for gorgeous.” Zander rubbed his other hand over his face and leaned his forehead against my hair. “I knew he was a goner right then.”

“We need to have you visit more often, Dee,” I laughed. I put a hand on Zander’s leg, squeezing it slightly.

He whispered against my hair, “Unfortunately for me, she’s right. I was very attracted to you from that first day.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, “You were so grumpy that day. I thought you were annoyed by us being there.”

We were whispering, trying to have a private conversation in public. “I had come back from a trip that day. Everything was delayed, and I had run into Natalie in LA. I was grumpy, but not because of you.”

I leaned into him, running my fingers over his thigh. Dee and Matt were facing each other in their own conversation. I placed a tiny cookie in my mouth. The fire was warm, blazing high, and Zander nuzzled into my side.

“You’re driving me crazy with those fingers,” he whispered, tickling my skin. While the sadness of my conversation with Kingston was still partially there, it didn’t feel as suffocating. It was strange, the mix of emotions inside me. To want to touch every part of Zander, and the need to sit quietly by myself in a dark room.

The desire to touch him won out, and I smirked, moving my hand farther up his leg, grateful for the blanket covering us.

“Pops, I think we’re gonna call it a night. I wanna take Matt on a hike in the morning.”

“Okay, I’ve got the couch all made up for him,” Zander said with a smile.

Matt nodded as Dee rolled her eyes. “That’ll be fine for me, sir.”

The two stood, holding hands, and walked back inside. I twisted into Zander, resting my head on him as I moved my hand a little further up. He opened his legs a bit more, and a rush of desire moved through me.

Zander’s hand pulled at my chin, turning my face toward him. His mouth found mine. It felt so good to kiss him, to be held together by him like this. He pushed into me, and I moved backward, his body coming over mine. I loved the weight of him on top of me and didn’t want it to stop. His lips moved to my neck, the tiny pricks from his scruff setting my skin on fire. A moan escaped my lips, and Zander chuckled against my throat. “We should stop.”

He sat up, pulling me with him, and I let out a big breath. I didn’t want to stop, but I knew we should. The boys were sleeping inside, and Dee and her boyfriend were there. This wasn’t the time or the place. But instead, I said, “I can be quiet.” Because I wanted his lips on my skin, I wanted his weight pressing down on me.

His eyes were full of desire, and I smiled back at him. He groaned, “You’re impossible.” Before he could say anything else, I straddled him, settling down right in front. His hands clapped onto my waist, and his fingers slid underneath my shirt. There, that’s what I wanted— his skin on mine. I ran my fingers through his dark hair before placing my lips on his. This kiss was hungry as his fingers dug into my skin, and I pressed myself into him. I could feel how much he wanted this through my thin leggings. It made the fire inside me burst, and I knew we should stop because it was too soon. We needed to wait to give this some more time before getting lost in the lust of it all.

His hands ran up my back, and we separated, looking at each other. I was panting and shook my head, “Okay, we should stop now.”

I leaned my forehead on his and closed my eyes. He began to scratch my back lightly, the sensation sending tingles through my body. “Let’s go in.” I nodded and got off his lap. He covered the fire with sand, and then we went inside. Matt and Dee were talking on the couch, and Zander waved awkwardly before we went upstairs.

My little overnight bag was on the end of his bed. I grabbed my toothbrush out of it and went into the ensuite bathroom. When I came out, Zander made himself a bed on the ground, making me laugh. He came out of the closet wearing a pair of jogger sweatpants. He looked stupidly good in them.

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor,” I said with an eye roll.

“It’s the gentlemanly thing to do,” Zander said with a straight face. “And I don’t think I could keep my hands off you if I tried. So yes, you enjoy the bed.”

I stood by the bed as he crossed the room. “You’re being silly.”

“Maybe so, but I don’t want our first sleepover to be like this.” He stepped over his makeshift bed and into the bathroom.

“What? With my kids in the other room or your daughter’s boyfriend downstairs?” I said with a chuckle.

He popped his head out, toothbrush in hand, “Both, I guess? I just figured it would be something more romantic.”

I pulled the comforter and top sheet back, my hand running over the soft fabric. Great sheets. It did feel weird to be sleeping in his bed without him, but I wasn’t going to push him. I wanted something a bit more romantic, too. Zander brushed his teeth and then came over to the bed, where I was casually lying on my side, my arm tucked under the pillow. He kissed me quickly before turning out the light. I watched him get situated on the floor. The only sound around us was the chirping of crickets outside. “Goodnight, Zander.”

I closed my eyes. “Goodnight, Iz.” And a smile filled my face.