The Damaged Hearts Bargain (Tetherington Hearts #2)

Chapter Twenty Nine

C al walked to the beach, simply because she didn’t know what else to do. Her heart was in her boots, her head was a mess and she could barely breathe with the unfairness of it all.

Deep in her heart she knew that Lucy didn’t think she was a thief. Lucy had never been anything but up front with her. But that look, that one moment of brief doubt had broken her heart in ways she didn’t know it could still be broken. It had shattered around old fault lines, things she’d thought were mended by now.

She didn’t know what had happened. All she knew was that she hadn’t taken the money. Maybe George was mistaken. Maybe one of Moira Hadley’s kids had been playing around. Maybe Spiderman had snuck in over the roofs. She literally had no idea how anything like this could happen.

“Christ. Maybe I’m some sort of jinx,” she muttered to herself. “Maybe I should stay the hell away from money in all its forms.”

Even the thought of cash made her feel sick. But not as sick as that fleeting look on Lucy’s face.

The beach was heaving with people, the sun shining brightly. Kids splashed in the waves and for a moment Cal could remember what it felt like to be a child. What it felt like before any of this had been hanging over her.

She’d spent years running away. Years being whoever she wanted to be, not having to worry about a reputation or anything else. And those years had been happy. She wasn’t going to pretend that they hadn’t been, that she’d been miserable, that she’d been looking for a home or anything like that.

She’d been happy and free and coming back here had been the hugest mistake that she’d ever made. Well, perhaps the second after getting caught in the club room with that money. Who’d have thought that old Doris Renton would take it upon herself to be a vigilante? Staking out the club room like that, like she could single-handedly catch a thief.

She sat down on a hot patch of sand as far away as she could get from the screaming crowds and the smells of sunscreen and icecream, letting the ground warm her.

So what now, that was the question.

Except it wasn’t really a question any more. There wasn’t much that she could do. There were two choices. The old life that she’d left behind where she’d been happy and free and herself, and whatever was left here in Tetherington. That wasn’t much of a choice, not really.

Her phone started ringing and out of habit she took it out of her pocket, half expecting it to be Lucy. She didn’t know if she was disappointed or relieved to see that it was Syd calling. Still, Syd had her uses. A decent recommendation for her next bartending job for one thing. So she picked up.

“Still playing at love’s young dream?” Syd asked cheerfully. “Not that either of us are that young anymore, I suppose.”

Cal ignored the question. “Is it alright if I put your number down as a reference for a job?”

“Yeah, course,” Syd said. She paused. “Um, you’re getting a new job then?”

“Gotta pay the bills somehow.”

“Thought you were a rich heiress or whatever.”

Cal snorted. “The house’ll give me a nest egg. But I can’t live off the proceeds forever. ”

“Better to save the money for when your knees give out,” Syd said. “You know, due to your advanced age and all.”

“Yeah, something like that,” Cal said.

There was a short silence. “So, you want to tell me what’s going on?” Syd asked eventually.

“Nothing,” said Cal. “I’m almost done clearing the house. I’ll get an estate agent in to put it up for sale, sign papers, whatever it is I have to do. Then I’m back on the market.”

“Job market or dating market?” asked Syd.

Cal’s mouth got dry. “Both, I suppose.”

“Ah.”

“Ah, what?”

“Ah, you’ve split up with this Lucy.”

“Maybe,” allowed Cal. She hadn’t quite done it yet. But it was coming. She supposed that she had to see Lucy face to face, that she couldn’t take the cowardly way out and do things over text. Unless she just ran like she’d done last time, just got on her bike and left town. Of course, last time she’d been seventeen and had left on a bus, but the end result was the same thing.

“Sure that’s what you want?” Syd asked. “And before you start, I know all about the six week rule. I’m just asking because, well, because this sounded a bit different. Like you’d found someone you might really like.”

“Yeah, well, things change.”

“Fast, in your case.”

“This isn’t really your business, Syd.”

“You’re right, it’s not. Except I care about you and I’d like you to be happy. And also, to stick my nose even further into business that isn’t mine, I think you’re your own worst enemy sometimes.”

“Right.” Cal looked at the blue waves of the ocean, how they moved in distinct patterns as the breeze ruffled them.

“You just have this image of what you are, of what you deserve. And it’s not realistic. I don’t know, it’s not my business and I can’t change you, Cal. But if this girl makes you happy then maybe she’s worth fighting for, you know? ”

“No, there’s going to be no fighting.” Cal sniffed. “Now, did you actually want something or was this just a welfare check again.”

Syd sighed. “Welfare check, I suppose. And just so you know, there’s a job going down here if you want it.”

“What happened to Odysseus or whatever his name was?”

“Cameron. He left. Went to follow some girl to a music festival in the Czech Republic of all places.”

“Ouch,” Cal said. “So we’re both single then?”

“This isn’t a come on,” Syd said. “We had our time and you might have your six week rule, but I’ve got my own rules. I don’t go back to yesterday’s dinner. This is nothing more than a head’s up that there’s a space to be filled if you want to fill it.”

“Right, thanks. I’ll get back to you by tomorrow, alright?”

“Fine by me,” Syd said. “Look after yourself, Cal.”

She hung up. Looking after yourself. That’s what she needed to do. She needed to look after herself and stop pretending that things had changed.

She breathed in a deep breath of sea air.

“Found you.”

She looked up and Lucy was standing over her. “I wasn’t hiding.”

“Fair. But it still wasn’t easy to find you,” Lucy said. She lowered herself to the sand. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yes, there is. You know it as well as I do. You were falsely accused again. That was unfair and uncalled for.”

“Not really,” Cal said, digging her fingers into the hot sand. “I mean, money went missing, I was looking after the cash register. It’s a natural leap to make.”

“Yeah, except Elspeth came in to get the cash that Pen owed her from sponsoring the readathon and took it out of the register.”

Huh. “Moira mentioned something about Elspeth. But then she needed to go catch one of those kids of hers.”

“I’m not sure that I’m sorry really covers things,” Lucy said. “But I am. I didn’t think you’d stolen anything. ”

Cal considered this. “The problem is that being here, there will always be that doubt. It might be a tiny little thing right now, but it can grow.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Lucy. Really, I am.”

Lucy’s face dropped. “You can’t mean it.”

Cal’s heart hurt in her chest. “Are you going to get angry if I say that it’s not you, it’s me?”

“No, but…”

“But it is me, Lucy. I feel like I might have led you on.” Cal sighed, looking at the sand trickling through her fingers. “The truth is that… that I’ll always have this hanging over me. That it makes trusting people hard, and it means that my default setting is always going to be that someone doesn’t believe me.”

“Except I do.”

“You do this time, and now that I’m thinking clearly I know that,” Cal said. “But what about the next time? And the next?”

“Even you can’t be that unlucky,” Lucy said. “If you’re around missing money that often then even I might get a little suspicious.”

Cal managed a smile. “You don’t deserve that, Lucy. You don’t deserve someone who’s always trying to second guess you. Who never thinks that you’re completely on her side.”

“I will defend you to my dying breath, Cal.”

Cal sighed. If only someone else had done that. If only her own mother could have stood up and told the truth. Then none of these problems would exist and she’d be… what? Getting down on one knee and asking Lucy to marry her? She shook her head. “I know you will, Lucy. But you deserve someone who can let themselves feel safe with you.”

“And that’s not you,” Lucy said.

Cal shrugged. “I don’t think I can feel that way with anyone. Which is what I mean when I say that this really is me and not you.”

Lucy was silent, biting her lip, her eyes watery. But she didn’t cry. “Is there nothing I can do to stop you walking away from this?”

“Short of changing history, no, I don’t think so. ”

Lucy stood up and brushed off her sandy legs. “I suppose I have to take your word for it. But for the record, I really, really like you, Cal.”

“I like you too,” Cal said softly.

“If things change…”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Cal said, thinking that nothing could change. What could change all this after all these years? What could change what had happened now that her mother was dead?

Lucy was blinking now, squinting against the sun and against the tears that wanted to escape and in the end, her voice failed her. She turned and stumbled away over the sand. And Cal let her go.