The December Market (Shelter Springs #2)

27

As Rafe walked along beside Amanda, her cold fingers curled inside his, with Isaac and Sophie racing ahead of them, he was aware of a soft, fragile sort of peace bubbling through him.

Despite the usual anticipation for the holidays and Isaac’s infectious enthusiasm, Rafe had felt removed from everything for the past twenty-four hours, bundled in a thick, heavy darkness.

When he had kissed her the night before, he felt the same rush as when he was standing on the brink of a tough ski run, about to shove off with his poles. Exhilarated, energized, charged with adrenaline.

He had sensed they were poised on the edge of something amazing, the kind of joy he had never experienced before.

And then she had bluntly pushed him away, had told him she wasn’t willing to take his hand and jump into the unknown with him, and it felt as if he had been shoved down the mountainside without skis or poles.

Now he didn’t know quite what to think. Was it possible they could find their way to happiness together? She had spoken with emotion vibrating in her voice the day before. She had meant every word.

Now she was walking with him on this magical Christmas Eve, her hand tucked into his with a trust he found humbling.

He wasn’t sure where to go from here, though.

“Your house is beautiful,” Amanda said when they were a few houses away. “I have been meaning to tell you that for weeks, since you hung the lights. Please don’t tell me you climbed up by yourself, though, to put them up.”

Rafe made a face. “I wish I could say that is what happened, but my dad and brother came over one afternoon while I was working at the market and I came home to find the job done.”

She smiled, looking at the multicolored lights that lined each angle of his house. “How lucky that you have someone who loves you enough to help hang your Christmas lights.”

“Yeah. I am definitely lucky.”

Right now, with her hand in his, and his son running ahead on this silent and peaceful Christmas Eve, he felt like the luckiest man on earth.

Isaac and the dog waited for them to catch up near their mailbox. Rafe wondered if he would say anything about their entwined hands, but he apparently didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t seem to notice. Or if he did, he didn’t think it worthy of mention.

“Dad, can Amanda come inside and see our tree?” Isaac begged. “I made a ton of ornaments for it.”

The only other time she had been inside their home, when she had been kind enough to bring him several meals after he broke his arm, their tree hadn’t been up yet.

That seemed like a lifetime ago. He felt as if his entire world had shifted in that time. His perspective certainly had.

“That’s up to Amanda.”

She didn’t seem to hesitate. “I would love to see your tree.”

“Yay!” Isaac couldn’t have looked happier if they had come home to find a sleigh and eight reindeer parked on their lawn.

Sophie scampered up the steps and sat waiting by the door, tongue lolling, while Rafe unlocked his front door. He felt a little bereft having to release Amanda’s hand.

As soon as they were inside, he let the dog off the leash and harness and she raced for her water bowl in the kitchen, as if she had just finished a hot and dusty marathon across the desert.

Amanda stood inside, looking around. “Have you done some work in this room since I was here last?”

“I cleared out some things and finished painting the trim.”

She raised an eyebrow. “With a broken arm?”

He shrugged. What could he say? He did not like to sit still. “I paint with my right hand, anyway. I had some spare time in the mornings and I figured we didn’t need to live in a construction zone for the holidays.”

“It’s lovely.”

Rafe wasn’t much of a designer. Fortunately, his mom and sister-in-law had helped him pick out furnishings and he had one of Crista’s lovely watercolors, this one of Haven Lake in summer, hanging above the sofa.

It was cozy and comfortable, made more so when he flipped the switch to the gas fireplace that immediately crackled to life.

“Do you see our tree?” Isaac asked. He reached for her hand and tugged her over for a closer look. Rafe listened while his son pointed out every ornament he had made at school, at his grandparents’ house or by himself.

Rafe wanted to tell Isaac to keep going. Talk to her all night. He didn’t want Amanda to leave. He wanted her to stay for Christmas Eve, for Christmas morning and everything in between.

“Can I take your coat?” he asked.

She looked torn. “I should probably head home. Somebody needs to go to bed or Santa won’t be able to come,” she said, with a pointed look at Isaac.

“Santa Claus comes tonight ! I can’t believe it’s really here!” Isaac glowed in the flame from the gas fireplace Rafe had turned on.

“Would you stay?” Rafe asked Amanda, his voice low. “You’re right, I need to get this kiddo settled for bed but I would like the chance to talk to you.”

She hesitated, looking torn. She looked at Isaac then back at Rafe. After a moment that felt like it lasted a lifetime, she nodded.

As Isaac gave a shout of happiness, she pulled off her hat and her scarf. Rafe helped her out of her coat, surrounded by her scent of sugar cookies and strawberry candy canes.

“I’ll go get my pajamas on, then maybe you can read me a story,” Isaac suggested.

“Maybe,” she said with a laugh.

He ran out of the room, a delighted Sophie at his heels, leaving the two of them alone. Rafe wanted to pull Amanda into his arms, to hold her and kiss her and tell her all the thoughts racing through his head.

Unfortunately, he knew from experience that Isaac could change into his pajamas faster than any of the guys at the station could pull on their turnout gear.

Sure enough, he had barely had time to ask Amanda if he could get her something to drink before Isaac barreled back into the room, his arms loaded with Christmas books.

“Can you read me a Christmas story? We always read one before I go to bed.”

“I would love to,” she said. “Shall we sit here by the fire and warm up after our lovely walk?”

He nodded and sat down on one side of the sofa, pointing to the middle cushion next to him. “Amanda, you can sit here. Dad, you sit on her other side so you can still see the pictures.”

He wasn’t about to complain. He sat down while she opened the book in front of her and began to read one of Isaac’s favorites, a story about a lost puppy that found a new family for Christmas.

“I love that story,” Isaac declared with a happy sigh when she had read the final words.

“It is a good one,” she agreed.

“Will you read me another one?”

She glanced at Rafe.

“One more,” he said. “How about we read the Christmas story Abi and Ito gave you tonight?”

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that one.”

Isaac raced into the kitchen, where the box of things they had brought from Rafe’s parents house that evening was still on the island.

He quickly returned, holding the storybook over his head in triumph and then thrusting it at her.

Amanda took it from him with a laugh. After Isaac was once more settled beside her, she began reading in her lyrical, lovely voice. This was a retelling of the original Christmas story, told from a young shepherd’s perspective.

Rafe was almost as captivated as Isaac.

No matter what happened between him and Amanda, he would never forget the magic and wonder of this evening.

When she finished, they all sat in silence, none of them eager to break the enchanting spell good storytelling and the meaning behind it seemed to have woven around them.

From the floor, Sophie suddenly passed gas in a noisy burst, setting Isaac off into peals of laughter.

Rafe caught Amanda’s gaze and saw her fighting a smile.

“On that lovely note, it’s time for you to go to bed. Amanda is right. Santa won’t be able to come until you’re asleep.”

“Okay,” Isaac said with remarkable docility. “We have to put the cookies out for Santa first and the carrots for the reindeer.”

“Right. Got it.”

They went through the required steps of pulling out the special holiday china his mother had given them solely for this purpose. He helped Isaac find a cookie and a glass of milk, as well as a couple carrot sticks for the reindeer.

He might eat the cookie and perhaps a bit of carrot but he fully intended to pour the milk down the sink.

“Okay. Into bed now.”

“Sophie can sleep with me, right? That’s what you said.”

“Yes. I did say that, didn’t I? I think she probably needs to go out one more time. I’ll bring her in later.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“Can Amanda help tuck me in, too?” his little manipulator of a son asked with his sweetest smile.

“Sure,” she answered. She followed the two of them to Isaac’s room and stood in the doorway while Rafe went through their bedtime routine: Brush teeth in the en suite bathroom, say prayers beside the bed, take off glasses and store them carefully on the bedside table, then climb between the sheets.

He kissed Isaac’s forehead and pulled the blankets up more snugly.

“Good night, son.”

Isaac threw his arms around his neck and clung tightly. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, kiddo. Merry Christmas.”

“I love you too, Amanda,” Isaac announced holding out his arms to her.

After a startled moment, she stepped forward and hugged him hard.

“Merry Christmas, Isaac. Thank you for helping to make my holidays so magical this year.”

He yawned and she kissed him on the forehead. “And thank you for the ornament. I will treasure it always.”

“You’re welcome. Good night. Don’t forget to bring Sophie in here after she goes outside, okay?”

“I won’t forget,” Rafe answered.

Amanda left the room first and Rafe turned off the light and closed the door. They both returned to the living room.

“I should probably head home. Thank you, for tonight. It was...unforgettable.”

He had a hundred things he wanted to say to her but he couldn’t seem to find the words for any of them. “Can you stay a little longer? I can drive you home after Isaac’s asleep.”

“You don’t have to drive me. I’m perfectly fine walking. It’s only five hundred feet.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you home, then. I have to take Sophie out again anyway and I have to use a leash since our backyard isn’t fenced yet. I tore out the old one that was falling down.”

“Did you do that with a broken arm, too?”

He made a face. “No. That was right after we moved into the house.” He tilted his head. “Maybe you could help me sneak all of Isaac’s presents out from the box in the garage where I’ve been hiding them and set them around the tree with me. You should take pity on the guy with only one working arm right now.”

She laughed. “Your broken arm doesn’t seem to stop you from anything else. You painted your house!”

“Only this room.”

She firmed her lips as if trying not to laugh again. “Oh well, that’s different.”

“I really would love your help.”

After a moment’s consideration, she nodded. “I’ll stay. I wouldn’t want you to overdo or anything.”

“Great. Wonderful. Can I get you something to drink? I have a can of some gourmet hot cocoa one of the neighbors brought over.”

“That sounds good.”

She followed him into the kitchen and they updated each other on the health status of their respective grandparents while he heated mugs of water, mixed up the cocoa and—since he was fancy like that—pulled a whipped cream canister out of the refrigerator and sprayed a healthy dollop on each.

“Wow. Looks delicious,” she said with a smile.

“We can take them in by the fire,” he suggested.

“Sounds good.”

She carried her mug into the living room and perched on the sofa. In a blue Christmas sweater covered in sequin silver stars, she looked lovely and festive, and he decided they could no longer avoid the topic they had both been skirting around.

“About what you said earlier,” he finally said. “That you were acting from a place of fear yesterday.”

She released a breath, looking nervous suddenly. “Yes.”

“I understand. Believe me, I get it. I’ve been doing that since Caitlin left, I think. Longer than that, even. Since she started using again.”

“It would have been hard not to be afraid for her.”

“I was,” he agreed. “But I was mostly scared for Isaac. I hated knowing he was likely going to end up hurt because of my choices.”

She frowned. “Not yours. Caitlin’s.”

“But I married her, knowing in some corner of my subconscious that she was still fighting her demons, despite appearances to the contrary. I thought love—my love—would fix everything. Obviously, it didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured.

“I’ve been...attracted to you for a long time. But I’ve been hesitant to do anything about it because I knew what you had been through. I could see the shadows in your eyes.”

She gazed at him out of those same expressive eyes he had come to love.

He set down the mug he had only taken a few sips from and took her hand in his again, entwining their fingers together.

“These past few weeks have changed my perspective,” he said. “Some people who sustain trauma hide away inside themselves or turn to behaviors that help dull the pain. Or both.”

He squeezed her fingers. “Others use their pain to become stronger. They aren’t afraid to reach out to others, to lift and help them.”

Their gazes met and locked.

“They watch out for their grandmother and her friends, they befriend a motherless little boy, they bring meals to the ornery curmudgeon down the street.”

“Oh,” she whispered, her eyes glittery and bright.

He took the cocoa mug from her and set it on the side table, then finally did what he had wanted to for the past hour. He pulled her close and pressed his mouth to hers.

As Rafe kissed her, Amanda felt as weightless as a snowflake dancing on the breeze.

She had known heartbreak so deep she hadn’t been sure she would endure it. But he was right. She had come through the other side with a hard-won strength and compassion.

She couldn’t forgo the chance to be with him. She loved Rafe and she loved his son. She had to seize this priceless opportunity life had given her, this second chance.

The alternative was a heartbreak as deep and bottomless as Lake Haven.

She finally drew away and met his gaze. “I love you, Rafe. That is what I should have said last night. What I wish I had said. Yes, it scares me. But it also feels so perfectly right.”

Rafe’s eyes softened with tenderness as he leaned in to kiss her again, sealing the moment with a promise of love and devotion.

As they embraced on that beautiful Christmas Eve, with snow falling softly out the window and the lights of his tree gleaming through the darkness, Amanda’s fear melted away like snowflakes on her tongue. In Rafe’s arms, she felt safe, cherished, utterly content.

The fear that had plagued her dissolved into the magic of the moment, replaced by a beautiful sense of peace and belonging.

Wrapped in his arms, as the world outside seemed to stand still, Amanda knew this was where she belonged. Here, with Rafe, sharing in the joy of the holiday season and the promise of a future filled with love and laughter and joy.