The Fall (Colorado Coyotes #6)

Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Cam

I hoped scarfing my peanut butter protein bar in the break room instead of at my desk would make me feel like I took a lunch break today, but it didn’t. Working through lunch is necessary today so I can leave early enough to pick Sam up from his Cub Scouts meeting.

And really, lunch breaks aren’t going so well this week anyway. I’ve been spending most of my free time thinking about my conversation with Rowan a few days ago.

When I saw how jealous he was of Harrison and how hurt he was when I told him he was not a wise choice for me, I wanted to give in to my attraction to him. All I could think about was dropping the towel folding and asking him to kiss me.

That’s the old Cam, leading with my heart instead of my head.

“Did you catch the Coyotes game last night?”

The mention of Rowan’s team between Marco Hahn, an associate attorney at the firm, and Tom Caldera catches my attention.

“Yeah, I caught a few minutes of it,” Tom says.

“Griff Carrington’s a stud. Now we just need a defender who can get down the ice in less than five minutes.”

“What was the final score?”

“They lost 4-1. Most of our team looked like they just woke up. Fucking embarrassing.”

A surge of defensiveness rises in me. I want to stand up and tell Marco he has no idea what he’s talking about, even though I didn’t even watch the game. How would he like it if he was televised while working in his office, the whole world able to critique his every move? No allowances for a bad day. Never a mistake that wasn’t called out by people who couldn’t do this job no matter how hard they tried.

Dom would say that comes with playing at the highest level of the game, and Rowan would say the same thing. I still don’t like the way Marco talks about the players on the team like they’re not humans.

“How’s it going, Cam?” Tom asks me.

“Good. How are Jeannie and the kids?”

He’s back to looking like he hasn’t slept in days now that his in-laws went back home. He fell asleep during a staff meeting yesterday, but since we all know how sleep-deprived he is, no one woke him up.

“Hanging in there. Jeannie really loves those tops you sent. Thanks again.”

I still had several nursing tank tops that Tess wore when she was pregnant and passed on to me when I was, so I gave them to Tom after Jeannie had the triplets.

“I’m glad she likes them.”

He glances at his watch and stands up. “Time to slam an energy drink and get to court.”

“Good luck.”

“Lacey’s going to be there with me. I told her to pinch me really hard if I start falling asleep.”

Lacey is his paralegal, and she’s got a mean streak. I imagine she’s hoping she’ll get to pinch him. I can’t help smiling as I picture it.

“Power through,” I tell him as I leave the room.

I could use an early afternoon jolt of caffeine myself, but I resist the urge, filling up my water bottle instead. I’m already having trouble sleeping at night, so no caffeine after 10:00 a.m. for me.

When I’m lying awake at night, staring at the dark ceiling, I replay Rowan telling me he loves Sam and Tate. He meant it in the way people say they love a song or a menu item from Taco Bell. Not love love. Not what I meant when I said I love hard.

And that’s all I’ll take for me and my boys. It’s either the full-throated, messy, sometimes difficult but always worth it kind of love--or nothing. No more half measures. No more men who are all talk.

“Cam!” I’m walking from the water cooler back to my desk when Lila calls my name from her desk.

I turn around and return to the petite administrative assistant’s desk. She blows her dark bangs up and out of her eyes, looking frazzled.

“Can you grab these deliveries? I can’t leave the desk because there’s no one here to cover me.”

She gets up from her chair and turns to the counter-height wood credenza behind her desk. My lips part when she picks up a vase with two dozen beautiful red roses and sets it down in front of me.

“You’re popular.” She smiles and sets down something else.

The white paper wrapping is long and shaped like a cone. I furrow my brow, wondering what’s inside. I’m about to pick up both items when I stop and look at Lila.

“Did you get to take a lunch break?”

She puts up a finger and picks up the phone. “McGill, Harcourt and Weiss, can you hold, please?”

Pushing a button on the phone, she exhales heavily. “No. Megan is out sick, so I’m a one-woman show today.”

I have a busy afternoon lined up, but the thought that Lila won’t get to eat or even take a bathroom break doesn’t sit right with me.

“I’ll cover you,” I offer. “Is thirty minutes enough?”

Her eyes widen. “That would be amazing. I only need like ten or fifteen minutes. I just need to pee, eat my sandwich and refill my water bottle.”

I walk around to her side of the desk. “Go. I’ve got this.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

She gives me a quick hug. “Thank you so much, Cam. I really appreciate it.”

I find out over the next ten minutes that the firm’s phone basically never stops ringing. Between answering, putting callers on hold, taking messages and talking to people I put on hold, I don’t have a moment of downtime.

Which is unfortunate because I’ve been staring at my two deliveries, dying for a free moment to read the card on the flowers and see what’s inside the white paper.

“Okay,” Lila says, shuffle-running back to the front desk in her heels. “So much better. Thanks again.”

“McGill, Harcourt and Weiss, can you hold, please?” I say into the phone.

I push a button and return the phone to its cradle, shaking my head at Lila as I stand up.

“I don’t know how much you make, but you deserve a raise.”

She laughs. “It’s not so bad when Megan’s here.”

“What’s the longest pause between calls you’ve ever had?”

“Thirteen minutes. It was...eerie.”

She picks up the ringing phone. “McGill, Harcourt and Weiss, can you hold, please?”

I get my phone out of my bag. “I’m setting a timer to come back at three so you can have another ten-minute break.”

“You’re a goddess.”

I pick up my two deliveries, making a mental note to talk to Kathy about getting someone to cover for Lila and Megan when one of them has a day off. It’s something I never would have thought was my place before, but with every passing week at the firm, my confidence grows.

Kathy likes team members who aren’t afraid to speak up, even if they’re saying something she might not like. She’s a dream boss.

When I get back to my office, I set the roses and the lightweight mystery cone on my desk. I grab the enclosed card for the roses first, sliding the card out of the little envelope.

Thinking of you.

Rowan

My heart pounds as I read the words a second and then a third time. Our conversation the other day left me feeling exposed. It wasn’t easy to admit to him that I love so hard it sabotages my life. It’s not fair to leave him thinking I only want to be friends just because he wanted to sleep with me after our first date, though. It wasn’t only that. I do want someone I can have amazing sex with. I just want more , too.

I set Rowan’s card down on my desk and take the tape off the side of the white-papered item, finding a single red rose inside. There’s a note on a Post-It.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

Harrison

I close my eyes and laugh because I can’t believe how fitting it is. The sensible choice, who doesn’t make my heart feel like it might explode right out of my chest, sent me one rose. And Rowan, the roller-coaster choice, sent me two dozen roses. Again. This is the third time since our first date he’s sent me roses.

I take photos of both gifts--and their notes--and send them to Tess. She texts back immediately.

Tess: BAHAHAHAHA! Bro sent you a fucking post-it note? And one rose??? Is he going to break out a Groupon code to pay for the coffee?

Cam: It was a nice gesture.

Tess: I’ve got a one-fingered gesture for him...

Cam: Has Dom said anything about Rowan?

Tess: No. They’re on a road trip.

Cam: I can’t believe he sent me two dozen roses again.

Tess: No comment because I’m trying to respect your choice to friend-zone him. But also, you’re a dumbass. He’s a great guy.

Cam: Great for a single mom? Or great for a 22-year-old puck bunny with no one but herself to think about?

Tess: Just a great guy period.

I scowl at my phone screen.

Cam: I have to work. Let’s talk later.

Tess: You’re coming to Hannah’s dance recital tonight, right?

Cam: Yep. We’ll be there.

Tess: Okay, I’m taking us all out for dinner after.

Cam: Okay, thanks.

I type in the password on my work computer and open the document I’m working on. It’s research about legal precedence for a trademark infringement case Kathy is prosecuting for a client.

Since I’m a law nerd, I find it fascinating. I move all of the flowers to the windowsill and take a deep breath, ready to dive in and get my mind off of Rowan and Harrison.

Rowan’s card is sitting next to my keyboard. I glance over it, thinking about moving it, too.

I can’t bring myself to, though. There’s something about knowing he went into a floral shop and wrote the message just for me, despite his busy hockey schedule, that gives me more butterflies than the flowers do.

He’s thinking of me.

And honestly, even though it’s not the least bit sensible...same.