The Fall (Colorado Coyotes #6)

Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Rowan

The sound of our team jet’s engine is lulling me into relaxation, but not sleep. It’s past 1:00 a.m., and many of my teammates are asleep. Sergei’s snoring from a couple of rows in front of me and Beck is curled up on the two seats across from me, his mouth open.

This road trip has been a grind. Lots of time in the air as we fly from city to city. The night before last, we lost to Seattle, but last night we beat Arizona. We boarded our plane immediately following the game to fly home.

I wish I could sleep, but I can’t stop thinking about Cam. I thought long and hard before sending her flowers again because she practically pleaded with me to leave her alone the other day. But I didn’t just leave Dom’s house and forget about her, and I want her to know that.

It’s a fucking punch to my gut that she thinks I’m bad for her, Sam and Tate. Even though I understand it, it still hurts. The easiest thing to do would be to move on from my attraction to Cam. She’s confused and off-balance, trying to be the best mom she can be.

Damned if that doesn’t make her even sexier to me, though. She’s a buttoned-up, wholesome mom who makes her kids eat their veggies. I fantasize constantly about taking her clothes off and teasing every inch of her with my hands and mouth until she can’t take it anymore.

I still wouldn’t let up, though. I’d work her up again and again, getting her close to the edge but never letting her come--for hours. I want her to forget she’s anything but the sexy woman who can make me crazy with just a look. A smile. A kiss.

And then, when and only when I’m ready, I’d let her come hard. But no matter how much I fantasize about what she’d look and sound like in those moments, I don’t know. It fucking kills me that other men have seen her come apart, but I haven’t. And when I think about the older work guy she’s not attracted to getting her into bed, I get close to losing my shit.

He doesn’t deserve her. I don’t care who he is. There’s no way he deserves her.

The question that haunts me day and night is, do I deserve her?

I’m connected to the plane’s Wi-Fi, so I open TikTok and scroll videos, hoping to get my mind off of Cam. I follow hashtags related to my team, and when a video showing Sergei glowering during a postgame conference comes up, I smile.

People are stitching the video of our burly blueliner’s pissed-off expression with all kinds of hilarious things. My favorite one is a guy who said that face is the one he makes while taking a big shit, working on his taxes or watching his toddler’s favorite kids’ shows.

I run across a video a fan took at one of our home games. She says I was smiling “right at her” every time I was next to the glass by her seat. I’ve never even seen her. I remember that game because it was just last week. I was smiling at a little boy who held a sign up to the glass that said, “Row ’em down, Coyotes.”

What if Cam sees that? She’ll think I troll the stands at games trying to score postgame hookups.

I used to. I’m man enough to admit it. But it lost its appeal a long time ago. I’m twenty-nine years old, which is starting to get up there in the game of hockey. Staying in top form and playing this game takes a lot out of me. When I finish games these days, I want to eat a good meal and go to bed.

Scrolling TikToks gets old quickly, so I return to my new favorite activity when bored: staring at my phone screen, waiting to see if Cam texts me.

It’s pathetic. Never in my life have I spent time wishing a woman would text me, but I’ve spent hours wishing Cam would. My eyelids feel heavy as I stare at the screen, hoping none of my teammates can see me. I probably look insane just staring at the screen like this.

But then, it happens. A text from her pops up, and my jaw drops in surprise.

I sit up straighter in my seat and read it.

Cam: Thank you for the flowers. Meant to text sooner but Tate got the flu and it’s been crazy.

Rowan: How’s he feeling? Any better?

Cam: He hasn’t thrown up for three hours, so that’s progress. He got sick at school yesterday morning. Poor kid couldn’t keep anything down yesterday.

Rowan: Sorry he’s sick. How are you doing?

Cam: Better now that he’s keeping liquids down and sleeping. Last night was pretty rough.

Rowan: Hope you don’t get sick, too.

Cam: Oh I will. And Sam will get it at the exact same time. Happens every time. I’m falling asleep, so better go to bed.

Rowan: Speaking of going to bed, don’t sleep with the old guy. I know you don’t want me, but he’s not the one for you. Goodnight, hope Tate’s better tomorrow.

Cam: Goodnight and thanks.

The plane hits a patch of turbulence and Beck jumps, wiping drool from his chin as he sits up.

“The fuck?” he murmurs, looking at me.

“Turbulence.”

He grimaces, moving his head from side to side to stretch his neck. “Awesome. Feels like I pulled a muscle sleeping in that position.”

I go back to my phone, rereading my text exchange with Cam. It makes me think about my mom taking care of me when I was sick. Before she was diagnosed with cancer. She’d fluff my pillows, make me homemade chicken and noodle soup and lemonade slushies, and lay next to me in bed, reading me books.

I didn’t know back then that I’d lose her and there would be a huge hole left behind. The nurturing and sweetness I assumed I’d have forever were ripped away. When she was bedridden and I’d go into her room with food or juice on a tray, she’d smile, but I always saw tears in her eyes. She wanted to be the one caring for me. She told me so many times that I made her dream come true, because all she ever dreamed of being was a mom.

I open an app on my phone and place an order from a restaurant to be delivered tomorrow. Chicken and noodle soup for Tate and a pan of baked ravioli for Sam and Cam. Then I open another app and set up a delivery of several boxes of Sweet Tarts and Lemonheads.

If Cam meant to get rid of me by putting me in the friend zone, it’s not going to work. I’ll take whatever she lets me be to her.

And I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure the guy who tricked her into a date with him crawls back to the rock he ventured out from under.