The Fall Of Snow: Guard Your Heart

31. Thirty-One

Thirty-One

The Plan

W hen the forest opens up to the camp with our cabin in view, I pause. Smoke rises from the chimney and warm light glows through the windows, and fear creeps in. The last time I spoke to Huck was just this morning but it feels like a lifetime ago. So many thoughts have crossed my mind since then. Terran turns when he realizes I've stopped walking with him.

"You coming?" A brow is raised in question, waiting for my call. I think of last night, of Huck's hands on me, of his eyes seeing into my soul. I think of his confession this morning and commit to my decision fully. I'm following my instincts, and my instincts are leading me to Huck. My intuition has never led me astray in the past. I only find trouble when I choose to ignore it, but I'm not ignoring it now. I can't. I tried and I can't. And after reflecting on Terran's story, I also realized I don't want to.

"Yeah. I just . . . needed a minute." I take a step forward when the back door of the cabin swings open and Huck appears, tenacity in every cell of his body. Our eyes connect from across the clearing and my heart begins to race. Butterfly wings flutter in a frenzy. He stalks towards me in deep strides, with purpose, passing Terran without a word. I take another step forward watching his broad frame sharpen as he nears, his black leathers a stark contrast to the melting snow around us. My fingers ache to touch him as my feet carry me closer.

With a few more strides we meet in the middle of the clearing just behind the cabin. He slides his fingers against my cheeks, holding my face in his palms.

"I was worried," is all he says.

"I love you," I reply. Huck doesn't waste another minute as his lips find mine and we collide into one another. Our lips lock in promise. Heat surges through my body as he claims my mouth with his own. Tongues colliding, fingers lacing. I grab the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me with greed. With hunger. Gods, I will never get enough of him. He deepens the kiss when I feel his hands slide down and cup my bottom. He lifts me up against him and I wrap my legs around his middle. I kiss him fiercely, possessively, claiming what is mine. Tears prick my eyes again but this time with bliss. It feels like the world around us has slowed and we are the only two left. “I love you, Snow. ”

Breathless, I pull away to look at him. His amber eyes are molten.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"I know," I whisper back. He kisses my lips fully before setting me down and my feet sink into the snow. He clasps my hand in his, and we walk back into the cabin.

When we enter, the heat is a welcome change to the last twelve hours of cold. I strip down to just my top and pants, catching up with the group who have all graciously accepted our relationship with their tiny smirks and knowing eyes. A steaming mug is set down before me, and I feel Huck's finger brush my hair away from my neck before brushing his lips against my flesh.

"Thank you." The mug is filled with hot tea, but his kiss was enough to warm me from the inside out.

Archer briefs me on the camp inspections, telling me that our camp was obviously cleared but a few others were found with fugitives harbored within. Those camps are being punished and reprimanded for their actions; some warriors have even been stripped of their ranks for tarnishing the Arion values. Despite my mother's motives, at least something good came out of the inspections. A few criminals were brought to justice.

I just hope none of them were in a situation like mine. The crown has been known to be ruthless with what it deems criminal.

In the weeks that follow, the woods have begun to show signs of spring in the drips of melted snow, in the tiny buds adorning the trees, and in the patches of green grass peeking through the mounds of white. My nerves have been on edge with every bud and sprout knowing my time here is coming to an end. Spring is officially here and with it, the possibility to sail to a new land, where my mother cannot get to me. Where her influence holds no merit. With my magic working again, I may actually make it on my own.

There’s just one small problem…

Huck and I haven't talked much about what will happen when it's time for me to leave and I think he's hoping I will change my mind. But he's made one thing clear: wherever I go, he will follow. He is willing to leave his life here in the camp for me. As much as it means to me that he would give everything up for us, that's something that I haven't been able to accept. These warriors are his family. This is his life, and I cannot be the one to rip him from it.

" You're my life," he said when I told him how I felt. But I could never live with myself if I were the reason he left his unit and his position.

Huck cannot be an Arion Warrior in another land. He cannot be who he is here. And I don't know if I believe him fully when he says none of that matters to him. Being an Arion Warrior is who he is. It always has been. It's what pulled him from his grief when he lost his brother and mother. It's what shaped him into a man and gave him these friendships that I know he cherishes, even if he doesn't say it. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't hesitant to leave them too.

I knew this arrangement was only temporary, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept now that the seasons are changing again. Ships across the sea have already begun to frequent with the warming weather. Life is once again starting to bloom.

I try to lose myself in my magic when these thoughts plague my mind, that or training with Huck. Although most of our training sessions end up with our clothes strewn across the forest floor and our bodies connecting.

With the amount I've learned from Huck these past few months, I wouldn't be surprised if I could take on an Arion Warrior myself at this point. Not only has my power and understanding of my magic grown since my time here, but my body has strengthened too.

Being able to fuze my magic to almost anything now has given me the freedom I’ve needed to explore my limits. Especially water, which is almost always available in some form or another. No need for an edible object, something that is perishable and less available than water might be. Even a drop will suffice in a pinch.

I've been able to help Aspen with his pain using anything we have in the cabin. Bread, rum, whatever I'm serving for dinner. The real problem comes with what he will do when I leave. The group has talked about finding another dealer in town, but they haven't broached the subject yet. Maybe they’re still hoping I come through with my magic. I know I am. Part of me knows I cannot leave this camp in good conscience without curing him. Part of me knows I may have to.

The guilt I’ve felt about not delivering my end of the deal still eats at me every day. I haven’t given up trying. I shouldn’t leave until I’ve cured Aspen—I know this, but is that my guilt talking or something else that has me finding excuses to stay here longer?

Aspen has been plagued by this illness for so long, it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t even remember what it felt like to just feel healthy. To not feel weak or disabled in any way. I want to give him that. I want to help him so badly, that it’s all I think about while practicing my magic. It’s my only motivation.

I'm sitting in front of the fire studying a map of surrounding lands when the group comes back from their camp meeting. Something that was unplanned but important enough to put a halt to everyone's schedules. Bear enters the cabin first, and I notice immediately that he won't look me in the eye.

"Hey, Snow." I watch him as he kicks off his boots, unstrapping his leathers.

"Bear," I say, tentatively. I wait for him to look up, to be his usual goofy self, but when the others file in behind him, I know something is up. Huck isn't back yet, which is typical. The captains always stay behind to discuss things after the rest of the warriors have parted. None of them are looking me in the eye. I drop the map to the floor and stand, crossing my arms .

"Alright. What is going on?" Despite the command in my voice, the warriors look around at one another, like they're waiting for someone to volunteer.

"Somebody better start talking or I'm going to fuze your dinners with flaccidity."

“Ain’t no skin off my back,” Whips chuckles. My eyes bore into her before moving to each and every one of them so they know how serious I am. It is only a moment before they start talking.

"The meeting . . . it was about spring relocations and a possible attack in the north, but they also mentioned—" Coy's cheeks flair crimson, as he looks away from me.

"Word has spread to the coast that someone is in search of a young maiden that answers to the name of Snow." Archer picks up where Coy left off. "They had a very precise description of you." My eyes widen as I mull this over silently, knowing what it means. When the time comes, I won't be able to board a ship so easily. My mother's rage has found its way here. The docks will be swarming with gossip, especially if there’s a hefty reward. Fuck . I should have left in the fall.

When Huck gets back, we all sit at the table to discuss my options. It is clear that I can no longer board a ship as I planned to. I would need to sneak on board or disguise myself with magic. But where does that leave me in the end? Alone. On the run. And I don't want that anymore.

And I can't stay here. Every day I stay hidden in this camp is another day we risk getting caught. It’s another day I put these warriors at risk. Another day of my life I spent hiding. And as wonderful as it has been, it's unsustainable. I want more for myself.

Huck and I still haven't found common ground when it comes to leaving camp.

"You can't just uproot your life because I'm on the run for mine!" I tried to have a rational conversation with him when the others left to give us some privacy, deciding to visit another cabin for a game of cards.

"The hell I can't." Despite my best efforts, Huck's decision was unwavering.

"You are a captain, here. Your friends are here. Your life is here." My voice rose higher and higher with every word, feeling the guilt of changing his life for me.

"You are my life now, Snow. This world is nothing without you." With those six words, my throat tightens with emotion. I have nothing left to argue. What does someone say to that? The gravity of his words sinks in deep, squashing any and all other arguments I had prepared.

When he pulled me in by my waist, I nearly melted from the headiness of him, completely intoxicated by his heat, his scent, him. When he brushed his lips against mine, I forgot what stance I was taking entirely. His hand snaked up to my neck, and when he claimed my mouth deeper with his own, I thought I might combust from the sensation. I could never get enough of him. I feel him everywhere as he deepens the kiss with a fierceness I've never known. Breathless, I pulled away enough to say "okay" just to watch the smile spread across his face before our lips met again.

Later, when the others came in and we told them our decision for Huck to relocate camps and help me defeat my mother, I was shocked when the others all agreed to relocate as well.

"You know that where you go, I go, brother." Coy was the first to speak when we broke the news.

“We can’t break up the unit. Mother knows I’ve got no ties here aside from you all.” Whip’s confession had me hoping this relocation would bring her more peace and clarity from whatever nightmare drove her here in the first place.

"I've been wanting to move closer to my mother for years now. I just never had the heart to leave our group." Terran's smile widened as the prospect of moving closer to his mother became a reality. Each and every warrior decided to relocate along with Huck and help me defeat my mother.

So, after a lengthy discussion, Huck visited Command to officially put in his request. As Huck is a captain, he is allowed relocation twice a year and has the option to request his unit follow. The warriors have agreed that a change of scenery will do them well. The fact that these people are willing to uproot their entire lives for me is more than I can bear. It is more than I could ever ask for—a family of my own making.

The plan has been laid out for the warriors to storm Malum Manor with me on the way to their new camp.

No longer will I run from her. No longer will I fear her envy. She chased me out of the only home I'd ever known, and I won’t stand for it any longer. I'm heading back home to claim what is mine. I don't know what will come of it or how it will end, but I do know that it is the only way to move on with my life.

"Alright. I've informed command and have the paperwork in order." Huck's voice is low as he speaks to the group, his hand covering mine. I've never had this kind of loyalty before. I’ve never had people care so deeply for me, and I can't help but feel guilty for it. Like I don't deserve this kind of love. How do I return the favor?

At least this plan allows me to help Aspen for a little longer than anticipated. The thought of heading back to the manor again, after all this time, is terrifying, like I'm walking right into the lion's den. But that is essentially what it is. I am walking right into my mother's wrath. The only difference is that this time I'm ready. This time, I'm choosing to fight instead of flee.

I think I've known this was the only real solution for quite some time now, but I wasn't ready to admit it. I wasn't ready to face that reality yet. But now I’m out of options. With Huck at my side and the others backing me, I know it's the only way. I can't run forever. And part of me thinks the real reason my mother hates me is because she knows I'm stronger than her. She knows there is a very real possibility that I may overpower her, and that scares her. Never has she been up against someone who hasn 't backed down. Even the crown. But not this time. I will not back down from her. I will not cower for merely being born as I am.

That night, Huck holds me against him in his bed, our bodies melding together like puzzle pieces. He strokes my back with a feather-light touch sending shivers down my spine. Even his presence gives me courage. I hold on to this moment, committing it to memory because I know soon enough this bubble of bliss we're in is about to burst.